I Don’t Give A Hufflefuck

Breanna. She/her. 25. Second year medical student. Typical nerd trash. Hufflepuff. Cat mom

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Me: I wish I could afford basic living necessities and medical care.

Baby Boomer:

[sakura-haruka]

[aplaceofhisown-deactivated20180]

Being a millennial is getting buyer’s remorse over a $3.83 pack of oreos.

[qxessence]

This is genuinely hilarious but fuckin terrible

[stimman4000]

.

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.

The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit. 

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen 

[specialstarfish]

and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free

[gholateg]

In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time. 

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

[aardvarkingmad]

I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.

Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”

[soap-stains]

This has made me laugh so hard-

[b0navid3]

[yawnjockey]

If you need me

I’ll be locked in my room reading Letterboxd reviews of the Netflix original movie “The Knight Before Christmas”.

I mean... these are literally just the ones that show up at the top

They’re all like this

It’s just one giant roast

And endless shit posting

[emilysidhe]

False! Oranges are an old world fruit that used to be imported from Italy. He would know exactly what an orange is but think it’s an expensive luxury good that indicates high social status.

[emilysidhe]

Actually, that’s the kind of side-plot I want in a time-travel romance movie:  the modern woman angsting about trying to help get him back to his own time and whether she should pursue this knowing he may soon be gone for good, while meanwhile the man from the past decided he was interested 10 minutes into the movie and has been conducting his own private investigation into what her social status so he can understand if/how he’s allowed to enter a relationship with her.

On mystical facetime to friend in his own time period via magic mirror:

him, standing in her closet while she’s out:  Her clothing ... the fabric is of the poorest quality, yet the color and the patterns speak of dyework fine, and she hath more individual pieces than the Queen in all her riches!

friend:  Perplexing.

him:  She hath no servant-

friend:  What, none? None at all!

him:  Not one.

friend:  Then, surely she must be of the lowest peasant class

him:  So I did assume.  And yet, not two days hence, I did espy her eat an orange, placidly as if this were no special treat.

friend:  Still, no servants at all ...

him, brandishing the mirror:  And yet behold!

friend:  *gasp of disbelief and wonder*

him:  Her store of spices.  And all for her own private use, for as I’ve said, she keeps no household!

friend: ... this mystery is beyond my ken.

him:  *wordless cry of frustration*

[chibisquirt]

@flange5​

[archer-and-anders]

At least we know Dragon Age 4 will continue the legacy of making us cry into our keyboards and controllers.

[pinquisitorshepard]

This. I don't like it

[gangrelslut]

all writers are the same

[liaragaming]

[disneyfeverdaily]

Past - Present

[human-power]

no shame in doing the same thing over and over if it makes you happy! go and read that book again, listen to that song for the 10000th time, watch that movie over and over. it’s your life babey!

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

if i was the joker id just get a restraining order on batman and superman whataere they gonna do? break the law? then theyre no better than me, a cold blooded murderer. and this would 100% work, because superheroe movies have the shittiest takes on ethics since fucking kant

[fuckyeahthegoodplace]

[wibblywobblyyy]

Yes

[gigastacyy-deactivated20231011]

no more teacup pets we keep breeding cats to be larger and more robust until we have monster cats 

[xslytherin]

Robert Pattinson's commentary in Twilight is hilarious

[liberalsarecool]

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

[yamitamiko]

me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey

[tinyhipsterboy]

me, shouting at the top of my lungs: ICED VENTI VANILLA LATTE FOR JENNIFER

male customer standing right in front of me turns to look

me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?

customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip

customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.

me: are you jennifer?

customer: no, i’m daniel

[pg-chan]

Some people wonder why people fight wars, but I have no trouble imagining reasons for people to just haul off on each other. 

[eternal-fractal]

You know how in school, this one kid answered/asked a question when the teacher called on someone else? These are them.