holy shit fall out boy releasing new music actually killed him

Kiana Khansmith
sheepfilms
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

oozey mess
hello vonnie

izzy's playlists!
One Nice Bug Per Day
RMH

@theartofmadeline
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi
AnasAbdin
Peter Solarz

if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell

#extradirty

Kaledo Art
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@tinypatriotickitten
holy shit fall out boy releasing new music actually killed him
google is telling me the largest lake in eu is located in sweden but this one is clearly bigger??
“Poor old Germany, still to score. Let’s not forget what that feels like.”
— Graham Norton, whose short term memory is thankfully in perfect health, as we were without points for 1,092 days less than twenty minutes ago
Germany has 9 neighbouring countries and non of them vote for Germany
I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997
@kingofthewilderwest
I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.
The concubine after reading this:
This is my new breakup format
Fuck him and his harem. I hope Nisaba made you #1 wife, baby
screaaaming me
“pick up your flax shawls and sandals or else I will donate them to the temple of the moon god” idk why but this bit in particular is SENDING me humans have literally always been the same
“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”
Dude about to make haikus:
“Oh you haven’t heard?”
fuck you
The first line is six syllables.
THIS
POEM
DOES-N’T
RHYME
That’s 5 syllables
Poem is two syllables. Po-em.
Poem is ONE syllable, who the fuck uses two syllables to say poem?
What the fuck are you on about? Literally just say it out loud. Po-em. One syllable would be like Pome.
“Pome” IS how you say it you neanderthal. Who the fuck says PO-EM?
“pome” is how you say it you neanderthal who the fuck says po-em
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Disappointing each other includes you. | PayPal | Patreon
Imagine losing your phone (or having it stolen, nobody's entirely sure) but you've got the location thing on so you can check from your computer where the phone is when it's turned on. You try to map out where the fuck it is, but it's been wandering around in places that don't have maps and people shouldn't access. It turns out that no matter who stole it, a fucking raccoon has it now, and you're pretty much run out of battery. You need this phone so you try to fervently figure out how the fuck you're going to get it back.
Okay, it hasn't been moving in a raccoon-like fashion for a while, so you're pretty sure that it's not being carried around by the raccoon anymore. Oh, it looks like it's been found, someone turned it on and charged it! A notification pings on your computer, someone has sent a message from your phone!
"23rqrferq233rqrw434r". The phone is moving on the GPS again. It has been picked up by another fucking raccoon!
...And that is roughly how I picture Sauron feeling when the Ring was once again carried by another hobbit.
Konzept: Bundestagswahl, aber das Ergebnis wird bekanntgegeben wie beim ESC.
Growing up with your starters
Artist: esasi8794 / Twitter
The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:
Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.
Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.
Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.
Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.
Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.
Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!
@noelle217
This is adorable
They just posted some more!
[source]
And some more!
You forgot these!!!
I’m disappointed that these were left out
they do this so that they can prove people use the library, figure out what books are popular so they can make sure to get more like it or further entries in a series, and to figure out what times the library is more buisy while ive never killed a person in a library (yet) i do sometimes unshelve additional books to boost the statistics thus resulting in increased funding for the library, however small
librarians being a-ok with murder but draw the lines at reshelving books is painfully on brand
As long as the murder is quiet its fine
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card
Reblogging for 2020. Happy New Year, everyone.
I’m not risking it
After 2020??? This shit isn’t a joke!
I’m actually so thankful this popped up right now because I need that and this post always works
My students are going to be reading this in class soon. I’m not risking it!
i always give a lazy two finger salute when cars stop for me at a crosswalk and it's devolved so much that at this point I feel like an icon of jesus whenever I cross the street
car: stops for me at a crosswalk
me:
oh blessed art thou automobile for you have served the meek and humble. go on your way knowing your act of kindness has saved me 2 minutes on my trip to the bodega
You’ve heard of four female ghostbusters, now get ready for
You knever know how ignorant the media is until they fuck up something you know about
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gell-Mann_amnesia_effect
Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect is as follows. You open the newspaper to an article on some subject you know well. In Murray’s case, physics. In mine, show business. You read the article and see the journalist has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues. Often, the article is so wrong it actually presents the story backward—reversing cause and effect. I call these the “wet streets cause rain” stories. Paper’s full of them. In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read. You turn the page, and forget what you know.
— Michael Crichton
Pokemon go update is 10/10 totodiles now spawn in my bathroom
the Olympics but athletes draw a sport from an obnoxiously large plexiglass bowl when they arrive to find out what they’ll be competing in
*like this but significantly larger
They’re also shooting for 100% renewable plastic sources by 2030! All of the soft plant/leaf elements in sets right now and going forward are made out of bioplastic made from sugarcane, and they’re working on getting the regular hard plastic bricks out of that, too.
They’ve done it, actually! The full bricks are in the prototype stage now, and are expected to be 100% biodegradable without the need for a commercial compost facility. It’s very cool. Right now they’re testing the durability and playability of the bricks and seeing what needs to be revised/reworked on their final model.