I Bet In Australia They Call Them Rubbish Burglars @tinyraccoonhands - Tumblr Blog

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

i think the unseen element of the great british bake off is just how much of it is a “who can pick up a new technique the fastest” competition. i just saw an episode where they were injecting liquid gelatin into set gelatin to make jelly art using specialized syringes and tools. home bakers are not buying and storing this set up. paul and prue make shit up and they’re like well you have a week, figure it out. lmfao

i think pastry is a lot less intimidating when you realize that all the different terms you’re hearing are just butter, eggs, cream, and sugar combined in marginally different ways

tvguts

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

tried making my own tru fru (chocolate covered frozen berries) and immediately realized why they cost 8 dollars a bag. what a miserable task

#chocolate solidifies very quickly and blueberries are very small #must be dunked individually so they don’t clump together

i-am-the-oyster

working-on-my-backwards-walk-de

reporting every meta ray ban ad i see as being too sexual

drtrinitysantos

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

hotcrossedfangs

He listened to her ❤️

etiennelux

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

t-valentines

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

jabberwockypie

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons

butchboromir

there should be a database where you can sort mountain goats songs by theme. i should be able to filter mountain goats songs by whether or not they are about affairs

ex sent me a message with a picture to look at, didn’t touch it and blocked him on everything. we did it folks

#yes yes i’m a woman with a man inside watching a woman. i know #but i’m finally free