Tipsy Intellect

Random Thoughts by Nerdy Teenage Girls (Sometimes funny, sometimes serious)

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We can be sad hopeless buddies!

Lauren

[jarodl-deactivated20250401]

Interlaken, 2013.

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Oh I forgot to wear pants to school... Hipster!

Nicole

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Are There Stupid People In Canada?

Elektra: Where aren't there stupid people? Lauren: I'm kind of hoping Canada because I like Canada but if I ever go there I will probably be dissapointed.

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Nicole On Not Having Any Classes With Someone

"All my hopes and dreams dashed away by the whims of a "righteous" hand! What man has the right of moral to delay true love, even star-crossed love, from coming into being??? Who?!??

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Shark love. A most beautiful kind of love.

Lauren

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I may be a zombie tomorrow but a more studious a nerd zombie than anyone has ever seen!

Nicole

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Feel The Burn

Lauren: Mint toothpaste makes my mouth burn.

Nicole: FEEL THE BURN! EMBRACE THE BURN!

Lauren: buut I doon't waaannaaaaa

Nicole: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!

Lauren: If you want to burn so badly go jump in a volcano.

Nicole: Did that already. Know how I survived?

Lauren: THE VOLCANO GODS. SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!

Nicole: I EMBRACED THE BURN!

Lauren: SACRIFICE THE BURN TO THE VOLCANO GODS!

Nicole: NO! THERE WERE NO VOLCANO GODS! THEY WERE ON THEIR BRUNCH BREAK!

Lauren: NO THEY WERE WATCHING. BRUNCH AND A SHOW. YOU CAN'T HAVE BRUNCH WITHOUT A GOOD SACRIFICE!

Nicole: THEY WERE ALREADY EATING THE SACRIFICE MADE YESTERDAY!

Lauren: BUT THAT WOULD BE OLD AND HAVE LOST ITS FLAVOR. THE VOLCANO GODS DESERVE A BETTER, FRESHER SACRIFICE

Nicole: WHETHER THEY DESERVE IT AND WHETHER THEY GET IT ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS!

Lauren: ITS THE VOLCANO GODS. IF YOU DON'T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT THEY BOIL YOUR BRAINS WITH A PYROCLASTIC SURGE. Your brains have been boiled. (hahaha what brains)

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Our Insults

Lauren: You are an awkward fish.

Nicole: You're a gallivanting walrus.

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Maybe you're so crazy that you think you're not crazy and now you say you're crazy and you don't really believe it but you are.

Lauren

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A Little Bit Of A Mental Disorder

Nicole: I should go to bed since I actually have to get up tomorrow but sleep is so, you know. Like at first its like YEAH! but then your like neeeeeh.

Lauren: and then you're like uuuuuuuuuhhnnnn

Nicole: then you fall asleep on the coach with your dog and wake up with back pain.

Lauren: and neck pain

and smelly dog farts

Nicole: and a little bit of a mental disorder

Lauren: That might have been there in the first place...

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He has the sexual awareness of a toenail.

Nicole

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When we first met them we thought they were really old, then as we got to know them they got younger.

Grandma

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Metaphorical Middle Names

Nicole: Difficult is my metaphorical middle name!

Lauren: That's annoying to say, Nicole Difficult Carver

Nicole: That's Nicole "Metaphorically Difficult" Carver to you.

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Endless Love

Lauren: I have to go practice my saxophone to make my mom think I have potential in life.

 Nicole: Okay, good luck with that. Remember this, I will love myself no matter if you fail.

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At least we can finally figure out if there is cell reception in hell.

Nicole

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Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite!

Lauren: I hope the bed bugs don’t slowly chew through your body until you are a smelly rotten corpse ( tired and I thought I would change things up a bit from the normal rhyme)

Nicole: I hope you are snug as a bug in a a rug, by which I hope you are laying a ton of eggs in a rug that your bug children will burst from and eventually chew through my body.