EIGENGRAU

Eigengrau is the shade of black seen by the human eye in complete darkness. With no available light to contrast objects against one another, it is possible to be in the presence of items that are darker black without being able to perceive them that way.

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it's vskij now on Instagram, not tint.monae

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Hey people of tumblr! If you like my blog here you might want to check out my instagram as I am not going to post on here anymore. I'd love to see you there - Tina tint.monae

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On the desire to be loved

The most important thing I want to achieve is happiness, I suppose. If I ever manage to be happy, I can go on making other people happy and so on, but first of all I would like to be able to look back at my life at some point (probably dead) and be like: “Yeah, that was great.”

I am studying what I want, living a minimalistic yet fulfilling lifestyle, quite content with my body and inner balance. The next step is probably to make all of those things last. Especially my inner balance (if you will) could use some stabilty, and I know why I lack on that - because I do still depend on the love of others and furthermore still crave the abstract idea of a prince in my life. So what is it I can do? Naturally I try to cope with any negative feedback, which I am working on quite hard. The mean woman at the supermarket, that bitchy waitress yesterday, the bodyshaming guy I used to like - the only reason for their words being able to hurt me is that I am letting them get to me. Maybe I need to built up a resistance against them, a resistance that comes with maturity. Is me telling myself that “my weak defense against other peoples opinions is a matter of character” an excuse? Am I struggling with a complex in reality? I don’t feel like that is the case, to be honest. I don’t know... but I figured, I might try to conciously stop being influenced by my desire to be loved. I mean, if I can’t stop taking silly insults to heart, I should try another way of strengthening my optimistic mindset. Therefore I could be able to prevent any action I wouldn’t undertake if it wouldn’t be for that wish of mine. If only I could stop chasing boys, like a starving shark or something. F*ck that, I can do it. It’s just in my head anyway-

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ein sonntag

Ich habe den ganzen Tag im Bett verbracht. Dieser Satz, in all seiner Einfachheit, könnte eine Sonntagnacht einleiten, einen erotischen Roman, eine Ode an die Trägheit, eine Metapher winterlicher Gemütlichkeit mit Tee und Buch und Eisblumen am Fenster. Dieser Satz könnte aber auch den Tod bedeuten, das erste Symptom einer Depression, die einer Diagnose vorausgehende Kraftlosigkeit, eine Angst vor dem, was vor der Tür beginnt. Ich habe den Tag im Bett verbracht, ein Buch zu Ende gelesen, gegessen, mich wohlgefühlt. Und nun frage ich mich, was ich unter dem Vorwand, ein Buch lesen zu wollen, verstecke.

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Even though I was waiting for her to die ever since she came, her final day hit me out of sudden.

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a street in osaka

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Osaka Castle

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I don’t even know, how to call them; I think they are charms. Something, to keep evil spirits away and to attract the good. Found in a shed next to a temple

[sparrowdreams]

Hey OP– these are senjafuda, stickers with worshippers’ names on them that are placed there as a mark of that person having visited. Some shrines are cool with it, other shrines, not so much– so if you’re planning to leave one, best to ask. And they’re all over the place, aren’t they?

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Kyoto is mainly known for pastry; you can get all sorts starting with green tea and cherry blossom and ending somewhere by traditional candy. I found the little sugar sweets, that are fed to the ash helpers (what's their name?) in Miyazaki's "Spirited Away". Opposed to other museum experiences we had to pay in Kyoto to see the exhibitions, but it was definitely worth it. Furthermore you can find beautiful, individual hospitality and retail places all over Kyoto (and Osaka), if you look close enough.

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Moving on to Kyoto, shall we?

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The Momotaro Hostel Kanazawa was unique in three ways. It was 1. huge, 2. far away, 3. funny. Very japanese.

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Kanazawa is popular for a couple of things and one of them is fish. 5 minutes on foot or one station with the bus away from the main station you can find the huge Obenkyo Fishmarket. And we had sushi there. Needless to say - it was cheap. And nowhere as good as the high end sushi place we went to in Tokyo Shibuya. We sat at the bar slowly noticing that the guys at the bar had three things in common: 1. they had no teeth, 2. they were wasted and 3. they were incredibly curious about us.

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Kanazawa Main Station

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The praying in the big temple of Nagano started at 6:42 am. I was a bit late; just like a monk happened to be, who left a shrine on my way to the temple and kept walking in front of me. I followed. People would bow when he passed by them on the street leading towards a huge gate. After that gate there was a second one and after the second one I could finally see the temple itself. I think, it was the Zenkoji Temple, but I could be wrong. The monk went inside while I stayed on the stairs. Quietly, after becoming aware of the presence of a few other visitors, I entered the hall. Two or three japanese people praying, a huge gong next to me and at the far front (behind a fence) nearly ten monks singing. I could see the man I followed taking his slippers of and joining the others. An old man picked his shoes up to put them in a shelf. That was his job. Putting slippers in shelf. I was amazed. Suddenly the singing stopped and the other guests went in front of the entrance. I followed. They told me to go down on my knees and to take my hat of; I did as required without any idea why. Next thing I saw was a beautiful, beautiful woman, accompanied by four guards. I think, she was a priestress, because she wore a traditional kimono and religious looking accessories. She walked past us and touched everybody’s head (including me) with her fan. And that’s how I was blessed in Japan.

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I don't even know, how to call them; I think they are charms. Something, to keep evil spirits away and to attract the good. Found in a shed next to a temple

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