↓

mediocre people do exceptional things all the time

[cantfightfatetoo]

I’m a simple girl, is it too much to ask for a broody handsome suitor to stroll across a field, in the morning fog at dawn, to tell me that I’ve bewitched them body and soul, and that they love me and never wish to be parted from me from that day on.

[fandomlife-confessions]

[weirdgirlvampire]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Everyone in the comments talking about how a woman is born with all her eggs and has them her whole life but a sperm cell is only made maybe a couple of days before conception and now all I can think of is that one really weird week, right before Edward and Bella get married, where Jacob is freaking out because he finds Edward smoking hot out of nowhere and that’s why he was being weird at the wedding.

[this-onegoes]

- Blythe Baird

[aw-hawkeye-no]

Me, chewing on my Bad Decisions™ Bagel in the corner:

The Universe: What’s that in your mouth?

Me, chewing faster:

The Universe: I said, WHAT THE FUCK IS IN YOUR MOUTH

[hydro-homies]

@Nestlé

[gothcostco]

i would kill to live in a small home with no financial worries

[gothcostco]

grow my own vegetables. some medicinal herbs. what more do you need

[creativityflows]

A cat

[gothcostco]

a cat.

[programaticallydelicious]

Maybe he’s ordering a decaf because he has a heart condition, and you’re about to give him a heart attack and send him to the hospital.

Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.

Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.

Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,

Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.

Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.

Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.

Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.

Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.

But are you willing to bet their life on it?

[otakusapien]

#also in the reverse#they might need the caffeine for a headache#they might be allergic to soy or almonds and need real dairy#they might have low blood sugar and need the boost#there are no safe assumptions when it comes to what people eat#even if it will just make them a little sick you’re still making them sick#just give people what they ask for

[valtsv]

can't wait until i have a wife so i can say "i love my wife" and introduce her to people by saying "i'd like you to meet my wife" and get out of boring social engagements by saying "i have to go home to my wife" and talk about her to anyone who will listen to me because she's my wife and i adore her

[penstab]

i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns.

SIR, PLEASE,

[penstab]

YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY LEAVE THIS IN THE REPLIES AS IF THIS ISNT A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF THIS HARROWING STORY

SIR!!!!!!

[foodffs]

CREAMY SAUSAGE TORTELLINI SOUP

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

[whitepeopletwitter]

[libertybill]

[dude-its-liz]

[swevicki]

Ok but damn you gotto give it to him, dude actually did it.

[bscully]

Bullshit.  He didn’t. He’s pulling a PR stunt right now.

From a quick googling, national testicle association doesn’t exist anywhere. Most hits track back to news articles to this subject matter, but there is NO actual association with that exact name (Did all these fucks who created their clickbait articles around the web even bother to check…?)

“Sincerely, Dick N bawls”? Lol seriously tumblr are you this gullible

everyone can take a picture of them wearing a oxygen tube, especially if it doesn’t seem to connect to anywhere (= normally a oxygen device or similar  should be next to his bed). They can be detached to the main tube, leaving only the piece that wraps around your your ears/head, that’s exactly how that photo looks like. I should have taken a pic like that last time I was in the hospital just to bullshit people on social media lmao

Also this:

Where’s that Testicle Association you’re speaking of?

[aphony-cree]

That NTA logo on the letterhead is from the Nutritional Therapy Association (x)

[jeanne-parmesan]

It is clear that we must take his testicle by force.

[radicalgraff]

Pro-homeless posters seen around Seattle. The poster message and it’s design is a direct response to an anti-homeless poster campaign in Seattle a week earlier that used the headline: “SEE A TENT? REPORT IT”

[romansroys]

imagine getting absolutely BODIED by the president in public like this and having to continue on living 

[theblogginggoth]

By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[nadiacreek]

This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.

[elodieunderglass]

This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.

[twilightrenaissance]

the year is 13 AT (after twilight)

[headspace-hotel]

being a college student is so primal. Like a wolf roaming the tundra, my only thought is of my next meal. Unlike a wolf roaming the tundra, I have an analytical essay due next week

[headfever-remade-deactivated202]

i may not be a girl anymore but eldest daughter trauma is forever

[avoidantegg]

op why must you hide the truth in the tags

[idontknowabtdis]

Let’s just casually spread it until it becomes an actual thing.