Ye Who Lacks Impulse Control @tittygalaxy - Tumblr Blog

teaboot

Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?

Ollie: Not

Me: Are you sure?

Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not

teaboot

Me, helpless, arms full of hot chili: Ollie, no! Ollie no! No, Ollie! God, Jesus, Ollie! Ollie, nooo!!

Ollie:

teaboot

Artist's recreation of incident

marleysfinest

hello please can I sleep in a studio ghibli bed it’s urgent

teaboot

Okay there all look great with the EXCEPTION of Howl's bed, are you kidding me

Look at that thang. The duvet, the pillowcases- that shit is embroidered and beaded to FUCK. That's your victorian great-great-grandmother's fanciest display sheets for the decorative guest room nobody ever uses. You roll over the wrong way on one of those appliqué czech glass flowers and lose a goddamn eye. Abrasive as hell. Too delicate to machine-wash, too, so the fabric itself gotta be tough like sandpaper. That, or frayed all to shit, like you shift a little in the night and get sequins falling all over like a drunk queen in a bouncy castle. You know I'm right. Look at him. Look at how he's sleeping and tell me that man's so much as SAT on those sheets in his life. My girl Sophie did her best but we all know that's his fancy interior design hashtag #aesthetic Instagram influencer background room. He doesn't SLEEP there, he sleeps on the couch or on the floor or in the reclined seat of his busted-out Subaru in the garage that hasn't worked right in five years cause he doesn't know what an oil change is. That's the room he uses for makeup tutorials and Shien Hauls (derogatory). Look at that man. Look at him for five seconds and tell me he isn't gonna wake up in an hour crying over snagged hair and floral imprints on his face. What the HELL Sophie baby that blowdried bitch has a twelve step twice daily skin care routine and you're RUINING it. Walked right past his twin size flannel futon in the corner down the hall and dumped him in the biggest bed she could find like a bedazzled roadkill possum. Didn't even put his bonnet on. Sophie I love you so much but first thing he does after he chips his nails clawing his way out of that thing is get your Amelia Bedilia ass. I'm so sorry

minimal-effort-name

This almost compares to that guy who wrote The Rant about hating Olaf

teaboot

you mean this guy

call-me-noa

play Kingdom Hearts

lakemojave

Addendum:

Are the same person

Not the same person

Play kingdom hearts

r4cs0

pandarson

showed this to my brother and he made this

thanks I understand even less

leseyde-deactivated20210606

thathomestar

ephemerle

2fingerswhiskey

i am a serious sims 4 player.

2fingerswhiskey

his bazoongas are too big for the fuckin menu

gloomiegalaxie-deactivated20250

this is beautiful

genderfluid-druid

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

genderfluid-druid

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

jellyfish-everywhere

EVERY BODY KNOWS SHITS FUCKED

technofeudalism

i dont know if this has been posted before. i'm sure it has. but when i did a search for "jerma dick" and "dick jerma" and "ultraviolet dick jerma" i didnt get any results so i'm just gonna post it anyway

[x]

saintsatellite-deactivated20240

the three gates when they get balder or whatever I didn't play it

the-year-before-time

“Trollet som grunner på hvor gammelt det er“ by Theodor Kittelsen

“(Troll Wonders How Old He Is)”

neil-gaiman

My favourite Kittelsen story was his reaction when he heard another Norwegian artist had started drawing Trolls as well. “How can he draw Trolls?” he is said to have asked. “He’s never seen a troll.”