To Dream Of Blackbirds @todreamofblackbirds - Tumblr Blog

Anyways you all take things far too seriously. My resume has autumn leaves and lots of red, pale orange, dark terracotta accent colors. It looks good no matter if it is printed black and white or if I've attached the pdf file in color. I think more people need to remember to add a touch of whimsy to the boring and mundane things. What's the point in life this way? My resume stands out, it's unique and fun, it's refreshing, it tells everyone I'm a fall girl forever. And guess who got my dream job as a barista in the only local cafe with year round toasted marshmallow lattes where I will be able to learn latte art which is basically the dream? I'll give you a hint, it wasn't the guy with the ai modified technically perfect resume and better job experience and completely open availability who was sneering at me before our back to back interviews because I showed up half an hour too early so I could get coffee, telling me that no one would hire someone who couldn't be serious. Nope it was my silly ass who accidentally derailed the interview for fifteen minutes to talk about the Japanese fox village and how fucking cool figs are and showed up in my black jeans and botanist (the band) T-shirt and my autumn resume with my seven ear piercings and my stick and poke hand tattoo. I'm the exact opposite of everything that people expect in an interview and I never walk out of an interview without a job I actually want. So stop being so serious guys, remember that you don't need to be the best or perfect or a professional robot. Just be authentic and silly. Life is too long and stupid to be miserable the whole time.

todreamofblackbirds

A funny concept I have never seen in Shen Jiu centric or disciple era fics but someone really should have written before.

Yue Qi, dragging blood covered seething feral teen Shen Jiu to the Peak Lords: "this is Xiao Jiu, he is my friend and he saved my life and killed a demonic cultivator. Can we keep him? Pretty please"

Qing Jing Peak Lord, deciding adopting a malnourished teenager he literally watched on magical cultivator television kill several disciples and then his own master, like that's not going to stab him in the back: "dibs, lmao, this'll be hilarious."

Writes the name Xiao Jiu (not Shen Jiu, it's important for the hilarity) in the book where the disciples names are recorded ...but not the characters for Little Nine. Because of homonyms. Instead the book reads his name as 晓咎 (Xiǎo Jiù).

This character for Xiao means the dawn/daybreak or to understand. The character for Jiu means to fault/blame, or Misfortune/Disaster. Poetically his new legal name can be translated to "Dawn of Disaster" or "To Understand Misfortune". Very in character. But why is this funny? Its funny my friends because of this.

Disciple, waving cheerfully: "Yo, Xiao Jiu! Are you heading to the library?"

(Intent, respectful: "Greetings, Ominous Harbinger of Doom! Shall we study?")

Shen Jiu, stops dead in his tracks, fan snaps shut and his eyes narrow into slits: "Kill yourself."

(What he heard, insulting: "Yo, Little Trainwreck! Off to read some books?")

And, because of this ...For the rest of his life he is referred to as Xiao-shixiong or Xiao-fengzhu. He has to keep a straight face as he's basically called a hot mess to his face all the time and because he's never certain if his sect mates are calling him little senior brother/or our little peak lord or not.

And it's all Yue Qi's fault. Forever. It does not matter if the qijiu misunderstanding gets cleared up because Shen Jiu is going to kill him for telling everyone his name is Xiao Jiu.

Bonus: whenever Yue Qi calls him "Xiao Jiu" he can't say don't call me that and not make different misunderstandings because that's his name as far as everyone is convinced. Now everyone thinks Yue Qi is being incredibly overly familiar with the pissiest disciple on the peak, leading to Yue Qi getting saddled with a reputation as a pushy cut-sleeve who likes the fierce cold type.

cryptidstatusbreached

I can give you my brother's firstborn if you write this fic, he won't mind and I won't be having any children of my own so I can't give you mine

todreamofblackbirds

Please don't?! What would I even do with someone's firstborn? Eat it?! No thanks, there can't possibly be any nutritional value in something that ugly. Not to mention how fucked up it is to just baby trap someone. Don't want responsibility for a financial sinkhole of emotional dependency so you just give it to your local cryptid? That's terribly bad manners because then I have to accept and it's such a one sided deal. I don't benefit from this! If anything this makes my life infinitely harder for at least 18 years, and who has time to write fanfiction and raise a child? I barely have time to write as it is. You are threatening me? Cursing me? I don't know who started that rumor that your local witch/fae/cryptid wants your babies but when I find them I'm making a necklace from their teeth and using their finger bones to make a wind chime.

@cryptidstatusbreached

cryptidstatusbreached

So no giving my brother's firstborn, got it. Anything that I can give in return for you writing this masterpiece?

watchtow3r-m

Ooh ooh what about me, do you want someone getting you snackies while you write fanfic? Like an apprentice or something

cryptidstatusbreached

@todreamofblackbirds I can give you a @watchtow3r-m if you'll accept them as payment? They're offering to become your apprentice/errand-runner

todreamofblackbirds

That feeling when you hope someone will write the fic for you so you put it for free on the internet and now you're being offered other people to do the work you were trying to avoid. I don't even have an actual plot for this? I'm in the middle of writing a fic where Liujiu gets de-aged due to ling xi caves and it's like 50% luo Binghe having an ill advised crush on his evil Shizun who is now his own age and 50% Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu being cang Qiong Mountain Sect mean girl frenimies. I fear you'll be waiting a while if I'm in charge of writing my own idea.