The only person I care about entertaining is myself

The official world record holder for Most Toilet Seats Broken By the Head in One Minute I goon to the hate comments I receive

[toe-mass]

Oh humans, such a curious case, in their culture, the day, month year, and decade for completely different reasons

[kerink]

it's not fair that twitter's phm tag has a rocky emoji so i stole him for you all

[toe-mass]

He's hitting the "absolute amaze" pose

[sillysymbol]

if you hate jazz you will die and go to hell

[yoyoma-stanaccount]

if you hate rap you will also die and go to hell

[aadamantine]

if you hate blues you will also also die and go to hell

[toe-mass]

If you hate rock you wil also also also die and go to hell

[facts-i-just-made-up]

i just shit realllly hard and now theres only one ball in my scrotuum. what do i do i already flushed

[toe-mass]

Pray

[important-cat-pics]

[wholesome-animal-images]

[toe-mass]

I will never understand people who shut their cats out, and that's okay

[my-dailydreams]

[toe-mass]

Dont forget 1900 and 1800,

[the-mikey-way]

“we need more weird queers!” you guys can barely handle a hairy woman

[the-mikey-way]

and frankly? some of you struggle with hairy men.

[toe-mass]

If you're gonna call out twink lovers and bear haters learn their names

[toe-mass]

If you look up and see a beautiful bright star in the nights sky, consider yourself very lucky, if it keeps getting brighter...

Run

[andhaveapleasanttomorrow]

yesterday I had the thought "visual novel for normal people" (?) and halfway through making this image (which I thought would be really funny) I realized it was completely meaningless

[toe-mass]

Yeah, that means its perfect for tumblr

[toe-mass]

My dad just said his fan theory on why they say "NO CAPES" in the increadibles, "frozone looked like shit with a cape"

[toe-mass]

In 'a heist with markiplier' mark has a musical number as a character called yancy called 'i dont wanna be free' and in 'iron lung' i bet mark was regretting it

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[toe-mass]

mr. who?

[pukicho]

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

[beanssssssssss56]

So the vehicle version of you?

[pukicho]

I am not as big

[internaleggplant]

Bro is petite

[pukicho]

I am not 4 tons

[fruitcakebro]

Bro is tiny.

[pukicho]

I am just not 4 tons

[toe-mass]

"I am"

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hegemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

[beastliness]

[muttering feverishly] I need to chase that man around my gothic manor in a silk nightgown

[beastliness]

we take turns

[toe-mass]

Like a scooby doo chase scene with the doors