can you please sheathe your sword at the fucking dinner table

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@tolkienandcats
can you please sheathe your sword at the fucking dinner table
The Intruder, c. 1910 by Leonard Campbell Taylor (English, 1874-1969)
do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare
if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.
like. i'll leave this alone. but HOW are historical romance books not sexualizing the fall of breeches. literally a blowjob flap. not to mention the collars that open to the diaphragm. the décolletage with a wide neckline one swift tug from being revealed. the calves on display. the intimacy of finally seeing the real hair beneath the wig. cmon it's basic storytelling
i love making a post that attracts everyone with usernames like mozartswigsweat and bonnetenthusiast and foppishrake and petticoatsonpetticoatsonpetticoats and dandyismunlimited within 48 hours. blessed webbed site. merry christmas to us all.
got too drunk last night and granted someone a boon
being a tumblr user is fun : the staff look like they're trying their hardest to kill the platform, half of the internet thinks we're dead, the other half reblogs our posts on pinterest, and we celebrate the murder of julius caesar every year.
cat summer begins the literal millisecond they see one (1) spot of sun
can you please sheathe your sword at the fucking dinner table
[sluttily rests my wrist on the pommel of my sword] hi
“This is a tapestry I made myself! I just finished it!”
“…. this is…. big.”
“Eighty feet long, ten high, in forty panels! It was originally going to be sixty feet, but then the Thomas Malory Arthuriana got big and I had to put more stuff in.”
“… Malory published in the fifteenth century.”
“Do you have any idea how long it takes one person to embroider eight thousand square feet of tapestry?”
“You’ve had a lot of free time in the last eight hundred years, haven’t you?”
“Not once I took up embroidery as a hobby, no!”
“Want to see my stalagmite cultivation work?”
im kinda bored of this whole computers thing. i think tomorrow im gonna go outside and see if i find some kind of creature to look at
Deactivated.... Op did it boys
Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.
chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380
glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded
You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.
YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU CAN CRAFT A COMPLETE SENTENCE! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU USE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF COMMAS! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOUR PROSE IS GOOD AND RIGHT! YOU'RE A REGULAR WRITER! EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION!
YOU’RE A REGULAR WRITER! YOU CAN W R I T E
it’s so funny when people online act like women reading trashy romance novels is like. a new phenomenon and a sign of the downfall of society bc this has never been a thing before. this has been an extremely popular genre of book for ages. the only difference now is that they’re written by women who wanted to fuck kylo ren. which i guess is annoying. out of every man in star wars like be so serious. they had harrison ford in those movies
you should be able to walk into your local CVS and get your uterus removed for $14.99 bro like I don't even care anymore
no more hustle culture; we're doing heist culture now. assemble some quirky friends with highly specific abilities. learn how to work together despite your differences. create a shared goal and move towards it, making sure you always have a backup plan or two. visit the louvre, see what happens
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
✨🍂🎃october won't be a shit storm🎃🍂✨
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