conjuring implications

Frankie---They/Them---N.F.A. Pacific Waters

[cincylibrary]

“But if thou wilt have the favour of the bees, that they sting thee not, thou must avoid such things as offend them. … Thou must not come among them smelling of sweat, or having a stinking breath, caused either by eating of leeks, onions, garlic, or the like : the noisomeness whereof is corrected with a cup of beer. Thou must not be given to furfeiting and drunkenness: thou must not come puffing and blowing unto them; neither hastily stir among them; nor violently defend thyself when they seem to threaten thee; but softly moving thy hand before thy face, gently push them by ; and lastly, thou must be no stranger among them; so will they love thee, and know thee from all others.”

From A Treatise on the Management of Bees, published in 1778.

[tombarra-blog]

From what I've been taught, bee's don't differentiate their keeper from other people, but I find that too impersonal and kind of sad so I'm just gonna go with this.

[strongermonster]

back when i was a danny devito keeper my danny devitos were really gentle and one time i scooped up a handful of them and i got rly emotional and wanted to kiss them and i essentially faceplanted myself into a palm full of danny devitos while crying and that’s an important fact about me

[strongermonster]

alright who changed it from beekeeper to danny devito keeper

[odinnsdottir]

Every witch/pagan/whoever that re-blogs this post will get the name of a Norse deity your blog reminds me of!

I may also add some mythology about the chosen deity and an explanation of why I chose that one if I’m really inspired. (Idea taken from the deactivated account “lunar-wxtch”.)

[v3nice]

“Truth or dare?” “Dare.” “Order me a pizza.”

[sand-paper-dreams-blog]

I HAVE BEEN BLIND TO THE POSSIBILITIES

[tombarra-blog]

Except you ought to add "and pay for it"

[weavemama]

I’M SCREAMING AT HIS REPLY

[badmoonraisin]

I am reading an essay called Male-Male Desire in Pharaonic Egypt (by Alex Clayden) which is actually pretty good

but

I just need to draw attention to this little gem of a pick-up line

[avatar-dacia]

Attention, followers: you now know how to write “nice ass” in hieroglyphics.

[autisticthassarian]

all i ever wanted out of life tbh

[jessicalprice]

*slams hands on table*

Now THIS is why I come to Tumblr

I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT

[micdotcom]

Black man Charles Kinsey told police he was unarmed before being shot

Charles Kinsey, a therapist who works at an assisted living facility, was trying to help an autistic patient that escaped from a group home on Monday. Police arrived in response to a 911 call regarding an armed man who was threatening suicide. Kinsey was then shot by North Miami Police, despite being unarmed and pleading with the officers, his hands in the air. He survived and was treated for his wound.

“When it hit me I had my hands in the air, and I’m thinking I just got shot!“ the caregiver told WSVN. “And I’m saying, ‘Sir, why did you shoot me?‘” The officer responded with three jaw-dropping words.

[2jam4u]

if you’re telling me that that scum’s (read: police officer) response to why he shot him (“I don’t know”) isn’t a DIRECT reflection of anti-black institutionalized racism in police forces….

[themoneybeets]

When I was growing up, there were these news stories that kept popping up in my life about children who would get swept out to sea, and the parents would dive in after them. I’d seen these news stories crop up again and again, and it made me think of this idea of the sea being this entity that needs a sacrifice—like, if it’s going to take your children, then you have to give yourself. It got me thinking about the power of water, like in Virginia Woolf, and that sense of really being overwhelmed by something. I also remembered this idea, I think from a childhood story, about a river that has to have someone drowned in it before you can cross it—like, if you see a river running smoothly, it’s because someone has drowned in it, and if it’s raging, it means that it’s still got bloodlust … It’s all very morbid. My dad always gets asked at parties, “What did you do to her?”

[ultrafacts]

She died in 1931 while on tour in the Netherlands, holding her Dying Swan costume in her arms. Refusing surgery, she told doctors “If I can’t dance then I’d rather be dead.”. In accordance with tradition, on the day she was to have next performed, the show went on, with a spotlight circling the empty stage where she would have danced. [x]

(Fact Source) Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[nuclearspaceheater]

Well, not going to miss a chance to post this again:

[surfcommiesmustdie-deactivated2]

Humanity deserves extinction

[libertarian--princess-deactivat]

it was so good until the weebs had to ruin it

[tastefullyoffensive]

[feitclub]

egg skull prays for death

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

[v-a-l-e-p-h-a-r-deactivated2022]

…

[heavenknowsffs]

oh boy do i got some news for ya

[citizen-zero]

So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.

Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.

If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.

Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.

Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.

Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.

Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.

MATH NERD VAMPIRES

[an-aura-about-you]

If anyone would like the term for this, it’s arithmomania.

[gosshiku-hime-wa-yami-san]

“But sir, he’s a vampire!!!” “Vampire or not, he’s the best damn accountant we have here, and i’d let him drink my blood before i fire him!”

[randomthingsthatilike1]

“still less of a leech than Matt in legal. Fuck matt”

[tombarra-blog]

Vampires win every jelly bean counting contest that ever was and will be

[bimboarsonist]

Modern Monsters

Demon kids loitering outside of convenience stores, lighting up cigarettes with their own flames

Werewolf girls snarling at men who dare to cat call them, baring fangs to show they are not to be trifled with

Sirens crooning into a mic in a smoky bar, voices resonating with otherworldly passion

Vampire EMTs taking night classes and struggling to get into medical school

Alarunes dutifully tending to their gardens, whispering encouragement to their seedlings

Satyrs being the most charming baristas ever seen, flirting with every customer

Gorgons uploading fashion tips and make up tricks onto their blogs

Nagas chatting with their centaur friends about how hard it is to workout when you’re not bipedal

Sphinxes posing annoying riddles at a train stop and then leaving

Hybrid monster kids not being sure where they belong but learning to love themselves anyway

[beerightsactivist]

dark bee tumblr show me the forbidden bees

[archivesandcyanide]

this is the masked bee! she has no friends and hates everyone. Sometimes when she has kids she raises them alone and doesn’t let the father come for day trips. she loves pollen but does not like waiting for it so she chews flowers open which is essentially stealing. we love her anyway.

these bees are homalictus bees! they are the rainbow gay bees. Females tend to live together in one nest and guard the entrance. one time we found 160 gay girls bunking together. They’re so irridescent and small that they might look like flies but they are really just tiny lesbians.

and this is the blue banded bee! she may look like she’s wacked out, but really she is pretty chill. she just wants to live independently (or with some friends) in a nest or burrow and look after tomatoes.

this is a cuckoo bee! she is really cool! she goes into other bee’s houses and lays eggs there, and then when the baby hatches it eats the host bees’ pollen and lays waste to the hive, murdering and eating all the other bee babies! BUT ONLY if it’s mother bee didn’t kill them all first.

[beerightsactivist]

thank u dark bee tumblr

[koiotchka]

This is the most successful thing ever!

[supernova-society-deactivated20]

this is dawson’s burrowing bee! they are one of the largest bees in australia and they burrow into the ground to make nests. males are so aggressive that they will literally fight and kill each other to get a female! and if a particularly aggressive male does not get a female he will murder all of the other males out of rage! (and sometimes the females will be casualties of these brawls - here is a video of a bee brawl where a female get decapitated. these bees are very large and kind of look like half bee half cockroach. but the females’s fuzzy white heads are pretty cute! [photo credit]

[beerightsactivist]

and dark bee tumblr comes through for us again… we are so fortunate. thank u dark bee tumblr. thank u

[silascaptor-deactivated20210107]

I’m mad that they missed the opportunity to use “les-bee-ans”

[ausername552124-deactivated2022]

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈