a teenage girl

don’t leave me here

[tonedeafworld]

and my morals depend on someone who owes the world none

[tonedeafworld]

my emotions drive mental wars, but to you they are only ink on paper

[tonedeafworld]

when the I hate my dad wears off and I just want him to hug me and apologize

[tonedeafworld]

everything about you and I could never be described as “us.”

there was no “us.”

it was you, and I. Two different people. In two different worlds, sometimes crossing by.

[tonedeafworld]

The cold winter air suffocates the inside of my mouth, the sharp pain of an icicle pierced my heart.

Eerily, my last thought is how eerily similar the cold air is to your lips.

[tonedeafworld]

did anyone else have this phase where they got with a dude like 4-6 years older than them in middle school/really early high school??? I met him in the mental hospital

[tonedeafworld]

hurt tumbles from my lips,

you’re neither here nor there,

and a part of me expects to see you soon, knowing you’re never there

[tonedeafworld]

should I be sorry ?

[tonedeafworld]

you’ve moved on and I’m still here

[tonedeafworld]

today my dad basically told me I wasn’t worth changing his habits for. idk why I even care still, it’s so embarrassing

[tonedeafworld]

my heart yearns for a soul that no longer exits in what used to be our world

[tonedeafworld]

Highs and Lows

your roller coaster high

and the tears in my eyes

are all i want as mine.

Your crashing lows

and thrashing blows

are all i cant bestow.

you’re not between

so i’m stuck here

unable to be seen.

[tonedeafworld]

Eyes

when eyes meet

i shift and breathe

yearning for your heat.

the familiar sensation

of the mouth i claim to be

the sweetest treat.

I try to hide

but your beady eyes

are easy to abide.

And when time flies,

and the wind cries,

i’m stuck within the gold mines

of your warm, brown eyes.

a soft whisper and gentle glance,

when i peer through my lenses

i can only be stuck in your trance.

Because when eyes meet,

i no longer shift and breathe

but i can only imagine

the taste of my sweetest treat.

-Lieutenant

[tonedeafworld]

this is a hate page for my dad

[tonedeafworld]

i temporarily leave this app and forget it, then wind back up here thinking i moved on from the sinkhole i’ve trapped myself in

[tonedeafworld]

im so tried

[tonedeafworld]

i attempt to write poems with the words “father” or “dad” to relieve the stress the letters place upon me, but every thought and every word after anything signalling that man’s role in my life ruins it. Causing my poem to decompose like an ugly body, left for dead.

It hurts—because poetry is the only way I can see ugly things as beautiful—however, that man has even made it so my words rear their ugly heads no matter how intricate the words are. I bleed and cry my feelings on a sheet of paper, expecting art made of pain, only to see my reflection in the words i use to describe my father. i am not my father’s daughter.