"The Doctor. Doctor. Fun."

Emily (or Em), pansexual transwoman (she/her) infp I blog silly jokes and nerdy things. I like tabletop games (and Critical Role), and if I see pretty fanart of something, especially a cute girl, I'm likely to reblog it. If you ever need me to tag anything let me know. twitter @emilybard20 hmu if you wanna play D&D or hire me for VO icon by sketchingsparrow

[tootsienoodles]

I've been back on Tumblr for less than 24 hours and I've already gotten followed by two porn blogs, it's good to know nothing ever really changes

[tootsienoodles]

Woah hey it's Tumblr

Is anyone still here? Hi!

[alligatorgrande]

a hoodie and underwear is all you really need to wear tbh

[idrils]

dm: roll athletics

all the squishies, in chorus: c a n  i  r o l l  a c r o b a t i c s  i n s t e a d

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

DM: roll acrobatics

my tank, who has not a graceful bone in her thick beefy body: c a n i r o l l a t h l e t i c s i n s t e a d

[robotfxckr-blog]

[rafawriter]

[chadzia-deactivated20180101]

the fun part is trying to figure out what everyone in the notes’ real names are

[turing-tested]

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

[bester-jester]

love

[turing-tested]

kinky! i like it

[punkkidmakingpizzas]

“You didn’t think you had to cook noodles”

[racefaker]

This is how lesbian arguments usually play out

[the-lemon-is-in-play]

#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen  

[yekkes]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO

[rotfront]

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!

[notonyourbarricade]

It was a huge disappointment as a child to fall in love with the stars and then find out how much math it requires to get anywhere near them. 

[cornwallacebienbenaruoo-deactiv]

Shoutout to everyone that had a dream career or ideal life but were roadblocked by math. 

[magsbanes]

[thewormwood]

THANK YOU

[girlblockhim-deactivated2018110]

it’s not you….it’s your zodiac sign

[3amjester]

[glumshoe]

My roommate from Beijing is fascinated by English expletives and is asking about the most offensive terms we have. I tried to explain the difference between insulting swear words and offensive slurs, and he was delighted by ‘asshole’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘bastard’, ‘dickhead’, and ‘shithead’. Explaining slurs without using any proved to be difficult, as he just tried to insult me by saying, “You are a big slur!”

[glumshoe]

I told him that he can combine different words to make new ones and he just pointed at me and said, “Fuck you, you son of shit-sucker! You loser!” 

[glumshoe]

“In China, we say ‘fuck your mom, fuck your ancestors, fuck your parents, fuck everyone… but we don’t say ‘fuck yourself’. I love that! In America, you can fuck anyone, even yourself!”

[v-ahavta]

welcome to the land of opportunity, my brother. Please, sit down. Relax. Go fuck yourself.

[tootsienoodles]

people who like pineapple on pizza: yeah its pretty good i get its not for everyone though its kind of a weird sensation but i like it

people who dont like pineapple on pizza: i will FUJCKING KILL ANYONE WHO BRINGS A PINEAPPLE INTO MY LINE OF SIGHT, if you bring a pineapple to me i will shove it down my dick and launch it like a cannon at you, killing you immediately. ill take the pineapple and f

[pettyartist]

I just have a LOT of feelings about Scanlan, ok???

(Listening to All Work No Play’s second ep is a RIDE after last episode.)

Uncut Full size version

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

rick and morty fans wasting full tanks of gas going on these epic pilgrimages to McDonalds so that they can get specially branded promotional packets of sauce and then rioting when they couldn’t get it is just overwhelming to think about. 

if they wanted to try szechuan sauce they could have just bought it at like, walmart. or made it themselves. but no. they drove miles upon miles to special mcdonalds to get a taste of this meme condiment, because justin roiland made a joke about it in his cartoon show about a man farting in space.

for some reason, this makes me feel sorry for my mom. she raised me as best she could, but there’s no way she could have prepared me to live in a world where shit like this is a regular occurrence. nazis are running around. grown men who think they’re smart for liking a cartoon are knocking over mcdonalds because they dont have meme sauces. a cartoon supervillain is the president. she couldn’t have known. nobody could have known it would be like this. every day is a trial.