torikins

[c0ry-c0nvoluted]

Amazing work from @mimles on insta

[lesbianralzarek]

CANT be doing this to me when im already high. shes moving

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

[en-theos]

Tasks that take 15 min but 3 hours if you include the agonies

[shock]

[geslotencirkel]

no-purpose flour

[fangorn-forest]

vampire vs. skeleton. what's the vampire gonna do? suck blood the skeleton doesn't have?? on the other hand werewolf vs. skeleton would not be so good. all those bones.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Its like Halloween rock paper scissors

[rannulfr]

Boss's wife upon hearing I'm a medieval scholar: Isn't it crazy all the things medieval people thought would stop the plague?

Me: *Fighting all my devils & angels not to bring up that she drank horse antiparasitic last year.*

[rosslynpaladin]

You’re a better person than I

[spaceboytoy]

“What music do you listen to?” uh I don’t listen to music, I listen to women. Because I’m an ally.

[ovur]

People in the 70s would wake up and be like I need to go hitchhiking right now

[americandreambarbie]

mfs be like good morning susan! another serial killer in the paper today, so not groovy! welp, time for our daily car ride with stranger !

[mens-rights-activia]

[rainbowrecesses]

Advice I wish I would’ve followed or been given.

[crowsandcooks]

And you can still do it now

[bethanyactually]

fun fact: one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp is to continue learning new skills as you grow older! it’s never too late to learn how to make your own clothes or resurrect the dead or grow beautiful flowers.

[leupagus]

Um

[higherporpoise]

[chucktaylorupset]

Important question: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines and is Hogwarts vaccinated?

[chucktaylorupset]

Circa Seventh Book

Hermione: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines?

Ron: A wax what?

Hermione: hmmmm

Harry: Hermione, we cant take out the death eaters with a genetically magicked disease

Hermione: No I know that. Of course I know that.

*Uncomfortably long silence*

[2rsquared]

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

Harry: What if we gave them all smallpox

Hermione: HARRY NO! We already eradicated it once, let's not make the world do it again

Harry: Oh yeah, I guess you're right

Hermione: Now tuberculosis, on the other hand...

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

Hermione: If Voldemort likes the good ole' days so much, why don't we bring them back? Old society, old war tricks

Hermione, putting on a gas mask: New plan. We take them out with consumption and mustard gas

Hermione, to Voldemort: Did you know, historically, a majority of war deaths come from disease?

[theawkwardgayfanboy]

Harry Potter and the Violation of the Geneva Convention

[someplanetelse]

to be fair, nobody asked the wizards to sign it.

[argumate]

hey girl you single? no? would you like to be?

[unpatchedglitch]

aggressive divorce attorney advertising campaign

[argumate]

you can do better babe, let’s make this happen

[un-cerebro-hambriento]

Diferentes razas de perro en versión guerrera, por Nikita Orlov.

[memeseverdie]

PREMIUM CONTENT

[memeseverdie]

I FOUND MORE

[sentry-34]

Well damn

[kenkuarchive]

WAIT THERE ARE MORE

[catsbeaversandducks]

By The Cat Named Carrot

[neckweararchive-blog]

I cry because the OVEN IS HIS SECOND CHOICE

[thegunlady]

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

[ygraine]

[miniangel]

NSNNSJSNSKSKZKOS