[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[1anonyymous1]

mental health status: need to look at the sea for hours and stay quiet

[piglii]

hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this

the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.

[piglii]

FOUND IT

[andmaybegayer]

Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series

[andmaybegayer]

and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit

[piglii]

thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected

[a-third-attempt]

I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema

[flurgerbla]

I dont think thats the whole photoset…. I found one more

But from what i can gather thats Crystal Thierry, also known as page73girl. Who seems to have been a model for the now defunct biggestletdown.com…

But i have no idea when the eschatron 9000 pictures were made or for that matter the original photos that were used to make it

[mckitterick]

this is far more than “random person in 2005ish creates surreal visual narrative” - let’s go deeper down the rabbit hole, shall we?

to Immanentize the Eschaton means to bring about utopian conditions and create heaven on Earth

the phrase is first cited in the Discordian religious text, Principia Discordia (1963), for whom Discord (aka Eris) is goddess:

the first line of Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea’s 1975 The Illuminatus! trilogy: “It was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton.”

in Frederik Pohl’s The Eschaton Sequence (1997 - 1999), the human race is caught up in a galactic war between two alien races attempting to immanentize the eschaton

in Ken Macleod's The Stone Canal (1997), one of the chapters is “Another crack at Immanentising the Eschaton”

Crystal Thierry’s (aka the modern Discordia / Eris) narrative lives in esteemed company

[dectech]

here’s what the warning in the image says btw because i wanted to read it but it was too blurry so i had to spend several minutes hunting for a version with better resolution, so I’m posting it here so nobody else has to make that same journey

“DO NOT OPERATE THE ESCHATRON 9000 UNLESS YOU’RE REALLY, REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT DESTROYING THE WORLD”

[mckitterick]

also just noticed the labels on the dials on the left side of the device’s control panel:

“MAYHEM” and “DESTRUCTION” are both turned all the way up

[dovewithscales]

It’s a little misleading to say that to “immanetize the eschaton” is to bring about a utopia. That’s not really what it means. The eschaton is the end of the world. To immanetize (make imminent) the eschaton, is to act in order to end the world faster.

Yes, in Christian theology it’s believed that at the end of the world Jesus will come back and rule over a utopia briefly before everything ends and the justice go to heaven. But the world has to be the most miserable dystopia possible before Christ will return. So in practical terms, immanetizing the eschaton means to make the world worse on purpose in the belief that Jesus will come back faster if we trash the place enough.

There is an actual (fairly large) sect of mostly American evangelical protestants who actually believe they can force Jesus to come back by destroying the world themselves. This belief comes out of the Seventh Day Adventist church, and there’s a spectrum of how explicitly they believe this or if it’s just a sort of implicit through line in their actions. But these are the kinds of people who treat Trump as a religious figure. They’re actually trying to destroy the world to force their god’s hand and make the Second Coming happen in their lifetime.

[batshit-auspol]

Here's our most requested item: Bob Katter's same-sex marriage speech, in all its unhinged glory

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian politics!

[succubusboyfriend]

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

[succubusboyfriend]

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

[africanmorning]

[docholligay]

BITCH THIS IS THE MOOD WE'RE GOING INTO THIS YEAR WITH

I'M GOING TO WRITE BADLY BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS WHO WRITE WELL AND I'M GOING TO PAINT BADLY BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE AMAZING ARTISTS AND I'M GOING TO EMBROIDER BADLY BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE AMAZING AT FIBER ART.

[longsightmyth]

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

[kosmogrl]

sorry I can’t hang out tonight. yeah I’m busy freaking out over things that might not even happen. yeah it’s gonna take a while

[rarehertz]

cock reveal in 12,000 years

[cheddar-baby]

11,999 years

[cheddar-baby]

11,998 years

[drarry]

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

[drarry]

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[sentient-tent]

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

[sentient-tent]

reblog to feed her notes

[elodieunderglass]

How is she doing this

[otherwindow]

accidentally fell into somebody’s chimney

[mega-taiga]

They really said

[babygirlimgone-deactivated20240]

i love how OP is wailing over being set on fire but manages to remember to close the door behind him when he leaves the house.

[shesgonnachangetheworld]

it's baffling to still see people be like "you can convince white conservatives to like socialism if you don't use buzzwords! and then work on racism later" in the united states. like yeah, it probably is really easy to convince people that having things is good. how are you going to convince them that the people they hate having things isn't a problem?

[persephinae]

#any analysis of class issues in the us that doesn't take anti-black racism into account is a fairy tale#if you haven't come around to the fact that republicans hate black people more than they love god i don't know what to tell you

republicans hate black/brown/poor people with the white hot intensity of 10,000 suns

we are NEVER going to advance, make any progress, or get anything nice like other countries until white people actively dismantle racism. it's just never going to happen.

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[dovv]

[fredfugues]

[ey-yo]

[threedollarsdotcom]

scientists are hard at work exploring each others bodies