Lovely @totallycraig - Tumblr Blog

homophile-deactivated20190403

I WENT TO VISIT MY GRANDMA AT THE NURSING HOME AND THE LADY LITERALLY DOESN’T KNOW POOP FROM APPLESAUCE BUT SHE MUST HAVE REMEMBERED ME BRINGING SOMEONE TO CHRISTMAS BECAUSE SHE’S LIKE “SO HOW’S KALEB” (AKA MY GIRLFRIEND, KAYLA) AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “SHE’S DATING A GIRL AND HER NAME IS KAYLA, MOM”

WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT MY GRANDMA WAS LIKE “OH HOW LOVELY. I WAS A LESBIAN ONCE YOU KNOW.”

goodness-gracious-great-balls-of

If your argument against gun control goes like this “what if a bad guy has a gun I need one to defend myself” then you’re already stating that a gun is a threat to the safety of those nearby. You’re tickling your ego by thinking you with your gun will be faster and smarter than the bad guy and frankly my life is not worth testing out your bullshit attitude. You already know guns are bad, you just think you with a gun is better. If they shoot you or you shoot them that’s the same number of people killed. You still believe guns are dangerous you just wanna feel cool idk what to tell you champ just stop sniffing the glue.

chill0naperochingona

You put this into words way better than I could have

3rdeyechakra

Reblog to make a white gay big mad

queerramonaflours

Reblog to make LGBT+ people of color feel and be more included and recognized

surprisebitch

honestly Kristen Stewart never deserved to be doubted as an actress based on her performance as Bella Swan in Twilight.. if you read the books – and i did, yes, the entire saga cause everyone read it in highschool and a student was lending theirs so i figured why not – but anyway, Bella Swan is essentially an uninteresting bland girl and the fact werewolves and vampires have the hots for her is BASICALLY THE ONLY INTERESTING THING ABOUT HER. That’s the main reason Twilight was written.. Stephenie Meyer’s target audience was “normal ordinary girls” who fantasise an out-of-this-world angsty romance.. and the fact Edward and Jacob are hot (okay Jacob is hotter though #TeamJacobForever). but yeah, if you’re saying Kristen Stewart cant act cause Bella was boring.. READ THE BOOKS, CAUSE on the surface, BELLA IS REALLY BORING and Kristen had no choice but to play her like that. Bella wasnt a strong character to begin with.. but yes, you could argue it was her thoughts in the book that makes her rather interesting but how could you really present her internal monologues in a movie?? so yes, Kristen did an excellent job as an actress and performed as Bella the most accurate way possible. there was really no other way to do it

antoniporowski

KIM PULLED OUT Receipts!

protectnormani-moved-deactivate

2017..

julius-novachrono

What kind of fucking world am I living in that even Kim Kardashian has to fact check the joke in the WH.

shamblingshitpickle-deactivated

PSA: journalists aren’t supposed to put names in the headlines if the person isn’t a public figure. It’s not a matter of maliciously not giving credit

orson-bigdaddy-krennic

^^^as a journalist, this is something that bothers me ALL THE TIME

thalassarche

A friend of mine on Twitter explained this the other day, so to elaborate based on what she said: If the name is not instantly recognizable the way a public figure is, then putting the name in the headline isn’t going to bring about any sort of recognition or connection in the reader, and doesn’t do much to draw the reader into the story. But something like “local teen” does create a connection by tying the person into the community, and encourages the reader to learn more about what this local teen has done. The name will be in the article itself, after the headline has done its job at getting the reader to look into it.

anastasiaa-ilyankova-deactivate

I think some of y’all need to see this

bob-belcher

last-bi-in-town-deactivated2023

Am I having a stroke

portraitofadumbassonfire

The Weekend - SZA

sapphichollstein-deactivated201

in seventh grade i liked a girl. she had blonde hair and hazel eyes and i found it hard to breathe every time she stood near me. now, i wasn’t the only person to like this girl. she was the most sought after girl in our grade, the one every guy would kill to call his. they tripped over each other trying to ask her out, even though it was common knowledge she had a steady boyfriend in the year below. she had to reject boys practically every other day. it would break my heart every time i witnessed the fallout when things got ugly. boys would call her a bitch, a slut, a cunt. once her nudes were even leaked, and half the school turned against her. i was different. not once did i ask her out or flirt with her. half the time i didn’t dare let my eyes linger on her for too long. for a while, i pondered this. why it was common behaviour for boys to abuse girls who didn’t like them, while girls who liked girls were wrong for liking them in the first place. one day it came to me, and it felt like a punch in the chest: boys who like girls feel they have the right to own them. girls who like girls feel they don’t even have the right to look at them.

(via sapphichollstein)

straightgirls

this doesn’t fit my blog at all but i had to post it here because this story is legit the wildest thing i’ve seen this month and everyone needs to see it. unmute this I PROMISE YOU WON’T REGRET IT

girlschasinggirls

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

neoliberalismkills

help out a trans boy and his boyfriend sleep in a hotel instead of a car

as I write this, I haven’t slept a wink in two days because of the chaotic nature of the last couple of weeks. I’ll keep it short. me, crashing with my grandma, who has over the course of the past few weeks become so hostile to the point where I am no longer welcome in her home.

my boyfriend was living with his father and dad’s girlfriend, but both are wildly abusive and to top it all off, wildly homophobic and bigots in every way.

we’ve both been sleeping in his car, and as the Universe tends to work, his alternator gave out. we get paid tonight, but essentially all of our paychecks are going to fixing the car, getting what little food we can muster, paying car bill, and covering at least 6 days of a hotel.

and I need to get a binder that fits me before I flip the fuck out lol.

so, basically, a hotel room for a week is $279, that’s the cheapest I could find. I’m gonna be picking up literally every hour I can from here on out but we won’t get paid for another two weeks. please, if you can help, do so.

squarecash: $Phoenix.Glass

paypal: [email protected]

neoliberalismkills

so, my boyfriend’s incredibly abusive/manipulative parents legit showed up to work today while he and I were on the clock and she fucking towed his car. it’s in her name, but he legit pays it every month AND just paid this month. and now it’s gone. we’re lucky we were even able to get a ride. without the car to sleep in for emergencies, this is literally more urgent than ever. our job is working with us as much as they can and they’re being awesome. but we HAVE to get to work.

neoliberalismkills

hey so we are close but donations are like, nil, if you could continue to boost that would be great, this is as of tonight 7/11/17 (oh hey it’s 7-11)

blackness-by-your-side

Something I wish more people would understand…

samjohnssonvt

What’s her name?

pig-demon

Her name is Jane Elliott. She was a former schoolteacher, now she’s anti-racism activist, feminist and LGBT activist. She’s tiny, mean, and boss as fuck.

She’s known for her “blue eyes-brown eyes experiment” where she divides a group of volunteers from the blues and the browns. The minute the people walk in, the blue-eyes know they’re not welcomed. She makes them wait in a separate room, gives them shitty chairs, bad food, and shows them less respect. And (obviously) it causes all sorts of discomfort and rage, but that’s precisely her point. It doesn’t help that most blue-eyed volunteers happen to be white as well. Sometimes they get the message, sometimes they don’t and leave, sometimes crying or screaming. And Jane Elliott says that’s exactly what minorities want to do everyday of their lives, but they simply cannot do.

Did I mention she’s boss as fuck?

salouisefar

Note that the blue eyes-brown eyes experiment started with her students. I think she taught third grade, so 8 and 9 year-olds. There’s whole documentaries on the experiment and what the kids learned and how it effected them later in life. Her expirement is one of the few things I actually remember from my high school psychology class.

This is from the Wikipedia article on Elliott:

“First exercise involving eye color and brown collars[edit]

Steven Armstrong was the first child to arrive in Elliott’s classroom, (referring to Martin Luther King, Jr.) he asked “Why’d they shoot that King?” After the rest of the class arrived, Elliott asked them how they think it feels to be a black boy or girl. She suggested to the class that it would be hard for them to understand discrimination without experiencing it themselves and then asked the children if they would like to find out. The children agreed with a chorus of “yeah"s. She decided to base the exercise on eye color rather than skin color in order to show the children what racial segregation would be like.[2]

On the first day of the exercise, she designated the blue-eyed children as the superior group. Elliott provided brown fabric collars and asked the blue-eyed students to wrap them around the necks of their brown-eyed peers as a method to easily identify the minority group. She gave the blue-eyed children extra privileges, such as second helpings at lunch, access to the new jungle gym, and five extra minutes at recess. The blue-eyed children sat in the front of the classroom, and the brown-eyed children were sent to sit in the back rows. The blue-eyed children were encouraged to play only with other blue-eyed children and to ignore those with brown eyes. Elliott would not allow brown-eyed and blue-eyed children to drink from the same water fountain and often chastised the brown-eyed students when they did not follow the exercise’s rules or made mistakes. She often exemplified the differences between the two groups by singling out students and would use negative aspects of brown-eyed children to emphasize a point.

At first, there was resistance among the students in the minority group to the idea that blue-eyed children were better than brown-eyed children. To counter this, Elliott lied to the children by stating that melanin was linked to their higher intelligence and learning ability. Shortly thereafter, this initial resistance fell away. Those who were deemed “superior” became arrogant, bossy, and otherwise unpleasant to their “inferior” classmates. Their grades on simple tests were better, and they completed mathematical and reading tasks that had seemed outside their ability before. The “inferior” classmates also transformed – into timid and subservient children who scored more poorly on tests, and even during recess isolated themselves, including those who had previously been dominant in the class. These children’s academic performance suffered, even with tasks that had been simple before.[6]

The next Monday,[2] Elliott reversed the exercise, making the brown-eyed children superior. While the brown-eyed children did taunt the blue-eyed children in ways similar to what had occurred the previous day, Elliott reports it was much less intense. At 2:30 on that Wednesday, Elliott told the blue-eyed children to take off their collars. To reflect on the experience, she asked the children to write down what they had learned.[2]”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Elliott#First_exercise_involving_eye_color_and_brown_collars

http://www.janeelliott.com/

Sorry I made this post so long. But I love her. And this is important.

michigatita

This poem broke my heart

gorgonology

“In my personal experience, women raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being listened to. Men raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being obeyed”

I want this tattooed on my face

cherryseltzer

piece of advice from an old tumblr person: if you are a woman and you are dating a man, do not settle down with, cohabitate with, or marry a man who needs you to do basic things to take care of him. like, if he can’t cook food for himself, go shopping, do laundry, clean a house, keep his own calendar, make his own doctors’ appointments, fill out his own forms, do his own taxes, etc. you are setting yourself up for a relationship full of you caring for another adult like a child.

partners help EACH OTHER. sometimes people have very valid reasons they can’t do those things, but they should also help YOU with things that are hard for you and easy for them, whether it’s basic emotional support, chores, paperwork, making phone calls, etc. if they say they ‘don’t know how’ to do something and expect you to do it instead of learning how to do it, they are not worth your time.

if your male partner’s parents did not prepare him to take care of himself, do not become his second mother. find a partner who can take care of you as much as you take care of him, and can take care of himself as well as you take care of yourself.

scientia-rex

and if that means being single forever, get yourself a cat and lean in, because being a grown-ass man’s second momma is a bitch and a half. I’m married to a fairly fucking aware feminist-identified man and he still can’t take care of himself for shit and it is the one major source of tension in our marriage and it has led to so much tension now that I’m in med school that I have repeatedly seriously contemplated divorce. It’s not a small issue, it’s not trivial. You are a PERSON, not an endlessly nurturing selfless machine. You deserve to have your own story, not be picking up socks in someone else’s.

theanatomyofarunner

I’ve been in a relationship where I “mothered” my boyfriend and it was the most frustrating thing in the world. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t cute. It was annoying and it drove me crazy. I still cannot believe how incapable an almost grown ass man can be. Do NOT settle for immaturity and laziness.

hedonistic-princess-g-deactivat

CAN WE NOT GENDER THIS. cause i often felt like a mother to a past girlfriend, it can happen with same-sex relationships too.

kinkyfemmequeer

That’s called co-dependency and agreeing with the non-gendered crap; Anyone can be guilty of this.

cherryseltzer

this post is about men taking advantage of women’s emotional and domestic labor, so sorry, it has to be ‘gendered’

fatgirlopinions

Listen this not a rare phenomenon and it’s highly normalized in American society. Commercials for cleaning products or ready meals often make jokes of the fact that men don’t know how to perform basic adult tasks like doing their own laundry, making their own food, or cleaning up after themselves. As women we’re “supposed” to laugh and elbow them in the ribs while we fix their mistakes and do the work for them. But that is not healthy nor is it fair.

This issue is kinda gendered and while it can go all ways it is frequently skewed in favor of men. So, if you want to discuss how all genders should know how to take care of themselves and balance household tasks with their partners for the sake of their well being and relationship, make your own post.

actingnt

While we’re worried about over-gendering could we also stop being massively ableist with the assertion that disabled people, but in this case specifically disabled men, are undeserving of romance?

I understand the actual problem to be able-bodied, neurotypical men who pass responsibilities onto their wives with a flimsy justification of gender roles.

When you describe a person as unable to “keep his own calendar, make his own doctors’ appointments, fill out his own forms” you are describing a disabled person, not toxic masculinity.

cherryseltzer

nope. I, the OP, am a mentally ill and physically disabled person, and I assure you I’m not describing people like me. as I said in the post, there are very valid reasons some people can’t do those things, but if your partner has you do those things and doesn’t support you in the ways they CAN, they aren’t a partner. and its insulting to disabled people to imply that we can’t provide anything to our partners even if they do have to help us with many basic things.

winterlive

SO MUCH THIS. even abled people who are bad at / don’t like Chore X can arrange with their partner to do none of the X… so long as they’re doing ALL of the Y. that’s part of the joy of having a partner in the first place - you both get help where you need it. all that’s important is a fair division of labor. if your partner expects you to do all the work, there’s a good chance they don’t respect you, and you’d be better off on your own.

leupagus

So okay, personal sharing time! I have not nor ever will get married, precisely because every relationship I had with a guy in my younger years—every single one, and I was with some good guys—devolved into them fobbing work off onto me because they ‘didn’t know how’ or I was ‘so much better at it’ (one guy said this about the way I did LAUNDRY). And I was determined never to live with anyone who forced me to take care of them because they felt like being taken care of.

However, because life is like that some time, I’ve ended up in a position where I am a full-time caretaker for my father, since my mother died years ago and I’m an only child. He has early-onset dementia and literally can’t do most of the things that one would expect a “partner,” or indeed a roommate, to do. He can’t unload the dishwasher anymore because he doesn’t remember where things should go. He can’t do laundry because he gets confused as to what clothes are clean and what are dirty, and even what he should do with clothes that are wet. He can’t take the dogs for walks unsupervised because even in the neighborhood we’ve lived in for years, he will get lost. He can’t do paperwork, or make appointments, or make dinner. Even answering the phone is hard for him.

But he tries. My god, it breaks my heart how he tries. He’ll offer to go with me to walk the dogs every time; he’ll hover in the kitchen while I’m cooking and I try to find him something to do, and he’s always thrilled to do it. When we go grocery shopping, he’s in charge of carrying the cloth bags we bring in and he’s so proud that he gets to help. We go to the swimming pool and even though he doesn’t swim, he sits quietly with his magazine and every time I finish a few laps and rest he shouts encouragement. He’s supportive of everything I do and listens to all my complaints, and he does what he can and is incredibly grateful—and tells me so—for the things I do that he can’t. So as tiring as it is—and yeah, living with someone you have to take care of is tiring, even if their dependence on you is not their fault in the slightest—I am so happy to be spending this time with my dad, because we get to walk together and grocery shop together and even though he can’t understand a lot of decisions we have to make as a family, we still talk about them, and I still feel better afterwards.

And that’s the difference between a partner with disability and a partner who uses you because they can’t be assed take care of themselves. So stop conflating critiques of the latter with oppression of the former, because I will visit you and explain my passions.