shit posting forever.

thank you for looking around here. I'm a pan poly 23 year old that doest have their sh*t their together. I want to broaden my horizons and draw to my heart's content. All I've ever wanted was to be an author and an artist. Hopefully here I can flourish! birthday is sep 28 im f , and I have a girlfriend.(Leave if your too stuck up your own ass!)

[tres-corny-boys]

If you play The Adventure Zone Episode 68 at 10:33:00PM on new years eve you’ll hear Kravitz say “I love you Taako” just after midnight and it’ll bless your 2018.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“Mwistew owbawma? owo” -the entire fucking vc when the dm was having connection issues

[towishoponthewell]

SAME!

Discord d&d y’all

[kaijuno]

Webtoon Short Story Contest: The Sacrifice

The Sacrifice is a short 5 part original sci-fi romance comic written by @audieoddity for the Webtoons Short Story competition.

The story features young astrophysicist Moira Cattaneo, chosen to be a representative of humanity when a mysterious 27,000ft tall monolith appears outside of a small village.

Moira is teleported to a dimension beyond belief, where she meets a being like no other. The story touches on the timelessness of life, death, and love.

Read Time: ~10 minutes Rating: Teen Content Warnings: Death, mentions of sex

If you like the story, make sure to like and comment on it! I personally thought the story was very sweet and I loved the unique character design.

Read Here

[missegyptiana-deactivated202204]

black lives matter. they always have.

[incorrect-malec]

I thought I was in a bad mood but it's been a few years so I guess that's who I am now.

Raphael Santiago

[towishoponthewell]

[thespilledquotes]

Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.

— Albert Camus, from Notebooks, 1951-1959

[towishoponthewell]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

So, sidequesting while the other two members of our party were away, the DM set up a dungeon crawl.

DM: You encounter a large figure wielding a greataxe wearing a minotaur skull. Roll for initiative.

Half-Orc Warrior (Me, OOC): Is it a skeleton? Because if it is then it’s boned.

DM: I aught to kill you off for that. Roll perception.

Half-Orc Warrior: Crit fail.

DM: You can’t tell. Actually, you don’t see sh*t.

Dragonborn Mage (who got wrecked by the monster before): Yeah, it’s a skeleton.

Half-Orc Warrior: Huh, okay. Welp, time’s up let’s do this LEEEEEEEROOOY JEEEEEENKINSSSS!

*proceeds fo roll nat 20 into savage blows, culminating a whopping 40 damage, killing the monster instantly*

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“soulja boyardee the halfing bardomancer, playing linkin park on his lute as he raises the dead.”

— Player

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“Damn, I want him to smash my pussy and reanimate it so he can do it again.” -Bard about handsome necromancer.

Bonus: Druid: “I’m pretty sure that’s not how reanimation works.”

[guerrillatech]

[ms-demeanor]

Sometimes I forget that I really am pretty weird and my experiences are fairly far afield from “normal.”

This girl who I vaguely knew from the coffee shop showed up one day and said she thought her mom had died that morning and I figured she was probably overreacting so I said I’d go check with her and it turns out her mom HAD died but we honestly weren’t sure when it had happened so I lifted her off the bed and attempted CPR and then ended up having to talk to cops and this poor girl’s family for HOURS as she called her dad and brothers and the cops wanted to know if the mom was on any medications or if she had been depressed and I was like “I have no idea, I had literally never met the lady and I don’t even know the family’s last name, the first ever full conversation I had with the daughter was this morning.” And apparently THAT was super suspicious or something.

So anyway that was a rough day and the next day I go into the coffee shop and the manager (who is basically never in) comes over and says “Debbie says you had a rough day yesterday.” And I was like “uh, yeah. It was pretty weird.” And then he was like “Debbie says that you handled it really well. And that you filled out an application to work here a couple weeks ago.” And I was like “I guess?” And he was like “Okay you can do a training shift today and you’re on your own tomorrow. We don’t normally hire people under 21 and we don’t normally hire regulars so don’t fuck up.” (I was 18)

So I started working at the cash-only coffee shop that was patronized exclusively by the weirdest people in town (who had all slept with each other, had no money, and had the most drama of any group I’ve ever been part of) and was used to launder money made by the owner’s cocaine sales for the local gang.

The first shift I worked alone was the next night and when I called the manager and told him one of the regulars had been chasing people out of the parking lot to sell meth the manager told me to ban him so I was like “Hey dude, manager says you’re banned” and he was like “You’re a fucking cunt and I’m going to wait until you’re alone and I’m gonna fucking kill you” and then he drove around the block about twenty times and screamed “cunt” out the window every time he passed by where I was cleaning the patio.

One of the regulars, who was a nearly-seven-foot-tall hacker and gunsmith who worked graveyard in Hollywood, waited around for me to finish closing and then offered to drive me home because otherwise I’d have to walk three miles alone and there was that whole “circling meth dealer” thing going on. I decided to take a chance on getting a ride from tall, dark, and scary and that paid off pretty well because it’s been fifteen years and I’ve been married to that tall weirdo since 2011.

And that’s how I got my first non-porn job.

[smudgeandfrank]

Didn’t know androids had nightmares too…

Nightmare Part 2

[towishoponthewell]

Oh god so good

[desertpups]

This horse is a great reminder that our generation did not invent shitposting, it merely adapted it to another form. 🥔

[bettydraperlookingpissed]

[goldkat-g0negrey-deactivated201]

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

[mediocrepresident]

YES

[fortangel]

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

[trilllizard666]

Confidence Helps

[advanced-procrastination]

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

[kuttithevangu]

Being kind to ghosts is a Jewish value

[sadboybrigade]

I was just telling my coworkers today about how part of the official Passover cedar is literally summoning an ancient ghost to get drunk with you and I didn’t quite realize how wild Judaism is until I had to explain that

[retroactivebakeries]

Objection: Elijah never died, so whatever he is, it isn’t a ghost.

[sadboybrigade]

look i googled “passover elijah” and this is the first image result

if it looks like a ghost and quacks like a ghost it’s a fuckin g ghost

[kuttithevangu]

That’s my grandpa

[lesbeet]

Elijah Never Died He Tucked His Arms And Legs Into His Belley. Curled Up Into A Ball. And He Just Rolled Away.

[wombatking]

We have no conclusive proof that Elijah wasn’t always eight feet tall and translucent. 

[sociallyawkwardtoaster]

days of the week

[iwannapushyourdaisies]

these memes are literally what keep me on track in these harrowing times

[dajo42]

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it

me: you eldritch blasted it