Today's Document

Discoholic 🪩

ellievsbear
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature

⁂
almost home
KIROKAZE
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA

if i look back, i am lost
wallacepolsom
Sade Olutola

pixel skylines

No title available
$LAYYYTER

@theartofmadeline
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@tr3nutek
affirmations
i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature
i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths
i am building a machine greater than myself
i am able to make phone calls and appointments
testing out doing smear frames with paper!
(flickering lights warning!)
can i come over and do this
i put more effort into this than i should have.
a sampling of some of my father’s home-baked pies
he baked another one this morning
I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.
A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.
The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.
The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.
A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.
A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.
Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.
Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.
Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".
"This spell causes the hair to fall off cats." "It works with my tome"
"This spell causes the hair to fall off cats." "That's fixed in Xaranthius' latest publication, you just have to rewrite your entire spellbook for compatibility."
"This spell causes the hair to fall of cats." "Magister Olaus of Writhington uses it to help with his allergies. WORKING AS INTENDED."
I want to see wizards snarking at each other over different magical languages/scripts, the same way programmers do it over different languages.
Sure, "High Tower is a powerful language, but it's such a pain to write. I just use Unity* as it's simple to write and can do nearly everything I need" "cranky because you can't memorize all the conjugations and declensions, aren't you?" "LOOK MAN, I CAN MEMORIZE ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE FACE OF YOUR MOTHER IN ECSTASY. IN FACT, BEHOLD!" *a little time window appears between them, demonstrating exactly that. The first wizard (seen through the window) turns around and winks at the "camera".
"you kids today with your lizardman. How can you get anything done in a language without gendered pronouns? It's like fingerpainting. Sure you can learn on it but once you've got the basics you should switch over to a REAL language"
"the Kalic have been here already. We better get out before the rest of their army marches in." "how can you be sure?" "you see that teleport?" "no" "well, if you COULD see it, you'd see it's written in Adevic Yevi. That's the Kalic magic language." "couldn't it be someone else? We saw those Monon traders, maybe one of them..." "no. No one writes Adevic Yevi unless they're being paid to. It's a language written by committee."
Wizards going on a quest to get the spellbooks for a lost spell, only to find out that it was written in skydove cant. No one can read that shit! The creator must have been one of those weird "functional wizards". (They're obsessed with making sure their spells have no side effects)
There's a small library on the outskirts of Freeport which tries to collect versions of basic spells in every language. The Adevic Yevi version of "fireball" takes up 7 pages, mostly boilerplate setting up the interfaces with fire and explosions and ExplodingMagicalBallFactorySingletons. The Lizardman version is basically "AHAHAHA, YOU GO BOOM!"
There's a bunch of wizard apprentices working on porting an old "Summon Bread and Fishes" spell from the absolutely archaic language it was written in. Once it's in Unity, it'll be easy to modify and teach to more wizards, which'll obviously be good for disaster areas. It's just too expensive to keep paying the ancient guys who can still do magic in TRAN-FOR.
Eccentric wizards keep inventing new languages for spells. You look at them and they're neat, but it'll never catch on. And either you're right, or the next time you're applying to be a court wizard, the advisors want to know if you have at least 5 years experience in Tilted Runic and you're like "it only came out 2 years ago!" "aren't you a chronomancer?" "oh good point. Yeah I've been using it for 20-30 years."
There's wizards who will spend incredible amounts of time doing silly things with spells in strange ways. There's this guy (Vorth) who made his own language where there's only one basic spell: fireball. Everything else is basic magic glue tying multiple fireballs together. So like, he's got a breakfast spell. Stand back (good advice for all his spells), and you'll see a fish get knocked out of the local pond, flung through the air by successive explosions, and eventually it lands on his plate, nicely cooked and deboned, if slightly charred (the glass of milk is harder to explain). His magical door locks involve a quicksilver sphere and molten lead changing shape when heated... It's tricky but it seems to work. He's working on a teleport spell, but so far it's mainly just killed test subjects (primarily sheep from a nearby farm).
* so the funny thing here is that this isn't a reference to the unity game engine. The main country in my One Hundred and One Magical Pistols setting is called "the union" and their language is called "unity".
It's wands vs staves vs bare hands.
Wanders are like "they're available everywhere and once you learn how to do it it's so powerful!"
Staffguys always talk about how you can do ANYTHING with a staff. Wanders claim it's a pain to carry around an overpowered device that can do ANYTHING when you just need to cast fireball or a simple one man teleport.
Meanwhile the bare wizards are showing off how they don't need any magical tools and can just do hand motions.
Wanders and staffguys retort that when a spell goes wrong, THEY need to go to store for a new magical tool. YOU need new hands.
Bug 15828: Some quilts cause spell failure (NEW)
Bug 4039: Pillowcases are sometimes removed from pillows (REOPENED)
[skytower: just confirmed, this bug is still happening in version 17.31.20 of the spellbook]
[bignaturals24: this bug has been around for ages, this is why I always advise apprentices to remove pillows from the bed before casting]
Bug 13761: Whirlwind created when casting on beds with more than 12 throw pillows (NEW)
Bug 14799: Orientation of pillows is inconsistent (Confirmed—Unresolved)
Bug 3207: Familiars jumping onto the bed continue to cause spell failure even after they are removed (Confirmed—Unresolved)
Bug 11673: Objects hanging on bedframe disappear to unknown dimension (REOPENED)
Hey, could you do me a favor?
Could you just RB this?
The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform
here lemme help
*ahem*
reblog this post to kiss the person you reblogged it from
hope that works :)
THANK YOU THIS IS MAKING MY BRAIN SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAA
THIS IS SO SATISFYING ITS LIKE A GROUP OF PLANKTON OR A RAILWAY CHART...
Omlouvám se, ale vlastně vůbec ne, protože mám absolutní pravdu pravdoucí
americans and their ways are so boring to me. therefore they should stop making tv shows about americans and explore life in the beautiful country of moldova
Funny to me to think about the whole "oh you say you don't like <insert website> but you'll gladly reblog content FROM <insert website>" as like... trade exports between nations that all a little bit don't like each other.
"Come try these grapes. They're from Tiktok." "OH Tiktok? Wonderful. They grow the best grapes. We just don't have the right terrain for them here." "I agree. Lovely grapes. Wretched country though, I'd never live there." "Oh me neither. They cancel their peasants in the town square. Speaking of, have you seen the new textiles boypussydilf is selling in the town square? Imported from Instagram!" "Oh amazing textiles, Instagram has. Wretched country though." "Absolutely wretched."
imagine if your twink boyfriend had a horrible little hairless pet who could talk but it called you fat all the time and tried to break you up out of sheer malice but your bf is just sooooo sweet and has just been through so much so you want to kill that hateful creature with a stick but that would make him sooo sad so you have to be nice about it. that's what samwise gamgee went thru
I'm being half-facetious here but equality will only be achieved once cis girls start doing makeup to make themselves strongjawed and clockable. It is politically imperative that strange looking tgirls continue being a beauty standard. We are the vanguard for chubby broad-shouldered muscular cis women.
Also massive, massive, shout-out to the transmascs linebacking the Short Fat Hairy Caked Dude Renaissance. Your elaboration and expansion on the eroticism of the schlubby dad-bod is a subtle yet powerful boon to cis men everywhere. Absolutely impeccable work.
Supermarkets hate this trick:
SHOPLIFTING (lol)