Sam's Transition Blog

Samuel Raymond. Ftm. Started T Jan. 28, 2015 Pre-surgery :/ "I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life/Go ahead with your own life, just leave me alone"

[fitness01993]

Things they don’t tell you about top surgery

- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy. 

i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better. 

[cayden-carter]

If you're voting for Trump, unfollow me.

A vote for him is to disrespect me. 

A vote for him is a racist, sexist, classist, homophobic, transphobic vote. 

[nbeb]

Sept. 5, 2014, Sept. 5, 2015, Sept. 5, 2016.

[w0ahcam]

April 2014 - September 2016 Pre t vs 27 months on T

Blessed that my jaw has finally made an appearance and that my baby face is slowly going away 🙌🏼 so much more confident now than I ever was before

[angelrecipe-deactivated20180602]

When trans people make posts that are like “hey if you ever feel like you wanna be a boy/girl, you can be!” all of these cis people who inherently have no idea what it’s like to be trans (and occasionally transmedicalists who are just hugely misunderstanding the post) flock to it to to yell about how “being trans isnt a choice you transtrenders!!!” but like……. That’s fundamentally missing the point of what those posts even mean.

For tons of trans people, you don’t figure out your identity by going “oh man I have such bad dysphoria, I must be trans!”  When you combine it with the internalized transphobia that all trans people deal with, dysphoria hardly ever manifests itself as immediately magically knowing that you’re trans, let alone even knowing you’re allowed to be trans.

For LOTS of questioning/potential trans folk, they’ll have a feeling that really is along the lines of “I wish I was a girl but I’m not” or “I wish I was a boy but I’m not” and what opens the door to them accepting their transness is… literally just accepting that it’s okay for them to be trans. For me, I had a feeling that fits the “born in the wrong body” narrative pretty closely, I basically felt like I was “meant” to be a boy and had somehow been “born wrong.” I would’ve said the same thing when I was a questioning trans kid - “I want to be a boy.” Not I am, because I didn’t know I could be.

Just learning that you’re allowed to be the gender you want to be can be the final thing needed to help a trans person figure out they’re trans. Because we aren’t told by society, by school, by the media, by our parents, or anywhere else that it’s okay for us to be transgender. We literally are not born into a world that tells us it’s okay to exist the way we are. So many trans people start off by saying, “I wish I was a different gender” because we don’t know it’s possible to say “I AM a different gender.”

This idea that you can’t WANT to be trans is so fucking harmful to questioning trans people and I want to kick every cis anti-sjw in the face who’s screencapped posts that say things like “hey if you wanna be a girl that’s okay you can be!” to make fun of it and call people fake/transtrenders. Fuck all of you for laughing at things you have absolutely no personal experience with.

[transmandad]

When you say you're "suffered from transsexualism" what does that mean to you? Because when you're suffering from something usually it's something bad and you want to change it. Do you not like being trans?

Because I do suffer from being trans. Daily. Dysphoria is fucked.

I personally despise being trans. If I could have been born cis, I would.Everyone else’s mileage may vary but that’s me.

@drankles - Internalised transphobia? Maybe. But it’s difficult to articulate exactly why I don’t think it is. I don’t hate myself for being trans at all, but I certainly suffer from the negative mental and social aspects of having to be trans.

[dont-ever-show-weakness]

I can’t speak for you, but I don’t think it’s transphobic to wish I didn’t have to put my body and finances through hell to correct something that went wrong before I was born. I’m not doing this to enjoy being trans. I’m doing it to get my body as close as possible to the way it should have been so I feel better. It’s not transphobic to wish my life had been easier and I’m not obligated to feel any other way. I’d love to be cis.

[transmandad]

This. So much this. I’ve had house guests for the last week so haven’t had the soace to be able to articulate my feelings properly, but you hit the nail on the head.

[skylark11]

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility. What does this mean? well! Until 2009, there was one day dedicated to transgender people, Transgender Day of Remembrance. TDOR is a day to honor the lives of transgender people who have been killed or died due to transphobia. How incredibly sad that that was our community’s ONLY day until 2009 when the day of visibility came along.

In January of 2009, I started my physical transition with hormones while a senior at my high school in Acton, MA where everyone knew I was transitioning and transgender. I was very visible. In college, I went “stealth” meaning I passed as a man and didn’t tell of my past, until I realized that was not the right lifestyle for me.

Being visibly trans is a privilege I have now - I am confident, I live in a relatively safe and accepting area, I am solid enough now to fight back against any attacks or comments made about my identity without it destroying my well being, and my employer embraces my trans identity. Because I feel safe and able to, I feel it is important for me to be visible.

Why? If every transgender person lived as stealth, I would have never discovered I was trans. If I hadn’t accidentally met someone who was transgender (and they were even living mostly stealth!) when I was 14, I may never have known that I wasn’t alone, that this is possible, and that there is a place for me in this world. Considering the bouts of depression and dysphoria I experienced during my youth that were only eliminated by the possibility of someday being truly myself, I don’t think I would be alive today if I had never met another out transgender person.

If me being visibly trans can help someone discover who they are or feel less alone, it is worth it. I am visibly transgender and I am proud of everyone in this community for existing, even if one must be stealth, I can understand and respect that. There is plenty of space for all of us and our preferences and reasons and paths in this life.

For me? I am out, proud, transgender and growing into a happy life. I’m here to stay.

#transrights #transgenderdayofvisibility #tdov #tdov2016 #trans #transman #lgbt #transgender

[transguys]

More Than Ten Years on Testosterone - Is It Safe??

Have you ever worried about the possible long-term effects of being on Testosterone?

Well, you can relax because science has your back.

Italian researchers concluded in 2014 that “Testosterone administration in FtM subjects has a good safety profile” after finding “no significant serious adverse effects and no clinically relevant changes” in 45 FTM patients treated for at least 10 years with T.

Also notable: “Liver and kidney function tests did not show any significant changes.”

The aim of the study was to assess the effects and safety of Testosterone administration on body weight, lipid profile, hematological and bone parameters in trans men.

Source: Safety of More Than Ten Years Testosterone Administration in FTM Subjects. Cristina Meriggiola, MD, PhD, Antonietta Costantino, PhD, Carla Pelusi, MD, Martina Lambertini, MD, Alberto Bazzocchi, MD. Book of Abstracts, WPATH 2014 Biennial International Symposium.

Related Studies:

Largest Study to Date: Transgender Hormone Treatment Safe (2014)

Long-term cross-sex hormone treatment is safe in transsexual subjects. Cristina Meriggiola M, Berra M. Asian Journal of Andrology. 2012;14(6):813-814. doi:10.1038/aja.2012.89.

Also see: Myths and Misconceptions about Testosterone - FTM Guide

[seethestarsablaze]

Christmas 2014 (pre-T) vs Christmas 2015 (298 days on T)

[ftmconfessions]

5998) Today I picked up my needles and first bottle of testosterone. I'm getting my first shot next week. All of the pain, bullying, conflict with family, and self doubt doesn't matter anymore. I made it. I survived, and I wouldn't want to be anyone else. If I can do it, I'm certain that you can too.

[locker721]

“She prefers male pronouns.”

[micdotcom]

This woman was detained and told to leave the airport for being trans 

Shadi Petosky just wanted out of Orlando, Florida. On Monday night, Petosky, a 35-year-old transgender woman, attempted to board a flight at Orlando’s International Airport when she was detained by the TSA. The reason? An “anomaly” — her genitals. The TSA does have a policy for treating trans fliers, but there’s just one problem with it.

[lucastheninja]

Wtf is wrong with people! This is unacceptable.

[fourthdimensionnomad]

So, transkids…does anyone else relate to this in an uncomfortably close way?

[fourthdimensionnomad]

My new voice is so beautiful for singing hymns. I’m not one to toot my own horn, but praising Jesus with my own, authentic new voice brings me to tears. I can finally worship as myself, and it is the most glorious feeling I’ve ever experienced. I can’t stop singing Come Thou Fount.

[trans-samuel]

Pre-T vs 100 days

Weight: 137.8

Neck: 13″

Shoulder Span: 20.5″ (but ignore this)

Chest: 32″

Waist: 28″

Stomach: 32″

Hips: 36″

Upper Arms: 11″

Forearms: 9.75″

Wrists: 6″

Thighs: R 22″/L 21.5″

Calves: 14″

Ankles: 8.5″

Apparently I haven’t posted one of these in awhile? So I’m going to try to take some other comparison shots and get them up tomorrow too. Sorry I’m a slacker.

So what’s  new? I just posted a video too but let me think. Yes, more leg hair. More stomach hair. Facial hair is starting to come in, slowly but surely. My hairline is changing too, I don’t think I mentioned that in the video. I feel like I’m starting to look more like my dad. I’ve always been basically a clone of my mother but recently I’ve been seeing more of my dad’s side of the family when I look in the mirror (but maybe that’s just wishful thinking ;)). Also, the veins in my hands are like popping, much more prominent. 

I still get misgendered a lot, but not as much. It really gets me down when I do but I just try not to think too much about it. I just try to look at it like, if someone just looked at me and was like, “wow, he must be incredibly homosexual,” I wouldn’t be offended because I don’t think it’s an insult, it’s just not me, but whatever. So, I’m not a girl, but it’s not offensive to be called one by mistake, it’s just incorrect. Idk.

That’s basically all I can think of, except that I know I don’t talk about anything super personal or any sexual changes on this blog. That’s partially because it’s not information I feel comfortable broadcasting, but also because I have family who comes on here and that’s awkward lol. But listen, if you have any honest questions, just message me and I’m happy to talk with you privately. 

So what do you think? Do you see a difference yet?

[hur91ley]

trans-samuel your neck got super thick ! And your jawline is so square !

[trans-samuel]

You’re a good person, thank you!

[erinniemermcclaine]

You are super square jawed! Also, I see facial hair coming in. You look strong!

[trans-samuel]

Thanks, Die Hard ;)

[trans-samuel]

Pre-T vs 100 days

Weight: 137.8

Neck: 13″

Shoulder Span: 20.5″ (but ignore this)

Chest: 32″

Waist: 28″

Stomach: 32″

Hips: 36″

Upper Arms: 11″

Forearms: 9.75″

Wrists: 6″

Thighs: R 22″/L 21.5″

Calves: 14″

Ankles: 8.5″

Apparently I haven’t posted one of these in awhile? So I’m going to try to take some other comparison shots and get them up tomorrow too. Sorry I’m a slacker.

So what’s  new? I just posted a video too but let me think. Yes, more leg hair. More stomach hair. Facial hair is starting to come in, slowly but surely. My hairline is changing too, I don’t think I mentioned that in the video. I feel like I’m starting to look more like my dad. I’ve always been basically a clone of my mother but recently I’ve been seeing more of my dad’s side of the family when I look in the mirror (but maybe that’s just wishful thinking ;)). Also, the veins in my hands are like popping, much more prominent. 

I still get misgendered a lot, but not as much. It really gets me down when I do but I just try not to think too much about it. I just try to look at it like, if someone just looked at me and was like, “wow, he must be incredibly homosexual,” I wouldn’t be offended because I don’t think it’s an insult, it’s just not me, but whatever. So, I’m not a girl, but it’s not offensive to be called one by mistake, it’s just incorrect. Idk.

That’s basically all I can think of, except that I know I don’t talk about anything super personal or any sexual changes on this blog. That’s partially because it’s not information I feel comfortable broadcasting, but also because I have family who comes on here and that’s awkward lol. But listen, if you have any honest questions, just message me and I’m happy to talk with you privately. 

So what do you think? Do you see a difference yet?

[hur91ley]

trans-samuel your neck got super thick ! And your jawline is so square !

[trans-samuel]

You're a good person, thank you!

[trans-samuel]

Pre-T vs 100 days

Weight: 137.8

Neck: 13″

Shoulder Span: 20.5″ (but ignore this)

Chest: 32″

Waist: 28″

Stomach: 32″

Hips: 36″

Upper Arms: 11″

Forearms: 9.75″

Wrists: 6″

Thighs: R 22″/L 21.5″

Calves: 14″

Ankles: 8.5″

Apparently I haven’t posted one of these in awhile? So I’m going to try to take some other comparison shots and get them up tomorrow too. Sorry I’m a slacker.

So what’s  new? I just posted a video too but let me think. Yes, more leg hair. More stomach hair. Facial hair is starting to come in, slowly but surely. My hairline is changing too, I don’t think I mentioned that in the video. I feel like I’m starting to look more like my dad. I’ve always been basically a clone of my mother but recently I’ve been seeing more of my dad’s side of the family when I look in the mirror (but maybe that’s just wishful thinking ;)). Also, the veins in my hands are like popping, much more prominent. 

I still get misgendered a lot, but not as much. It really gets me down when I do but I just try not to think too much about it. I just try to look at it like, if someone just looked at me and was like, “wow, he must be incredibly homosexual,” I wouldn’t be offended because I don’t think it’s an insult, it’s just not me, but whatever. So, I’m not a girl, but it’s not offensive to be called one by mistake, it’s just incorrect. Idk.

That’s basically all I can think of, except that I know I don’t talk about anything super personal or any sexual changes on this blog. That’s partially because it’s not information I feel comfortable broadcasting, but also because I have family who comes on here and that’s awkward lol. But listen, if you have any honest questions, just message me and I’m happy to talk with you privately. 

So what do you think? Do you see a difference yet?