idk i'm tired

I'm just some dude trying to exist (it's not going too well). This is my space to post about transmasc stuff.

[transguyjusttrying]

we know that the "trans exclusionary" part isn't the only thing wrong with terf rhetoric, right? we know that swapping out bioessentialism for gender essentialism isn't helping anyone, right? we know that sloppily painting a trans flag on a rotten structure doesn't make it safe, right? right?

[transguyjusttrying]

I've seen a few people claiming that trans men talking about being forcibly impregnated is just a means to weaponize our anatomy against people who can't get pregnant. This framing is honestly vile.

They ignore the fact that not everyone with a fertile uterus and ovaries, regardless of gender, wants to get pregnant and give birth. They ignore the fact that a lot of us live in places where abortion is difficult, if not impossible, to access. They ignore the fact that pregnancy permanently alters a person's body, and that it can be lethal.

I've even seen some try to point out that some trans men/mascs intentionally get pregnant and give birth as some sort of "gotcha," but those guys are just as capable of making their own choices as the rest of us. The existence of men who choose to carry children does not invalidate those of us who are unwilling.

If you can't get pregnant even though you want to, that does genuinely suck. I can see how it would hurt and make you angry. But that doesn't even come close to being forced to sacrifice the wellbeing and autonomy of your body to incibate a fetus, and you really can't pretend that it's anywhere near the same situation. It doesn't give you the go-ahead to treat people like shit for their anatomy while you accuse them of weaponizing it for just talking about our thoughts and experiences.

[tboyreject]

[shaking a transmasc egg by his shoulders] your existence as a man is not anti-feminist, the world is a brighter place with you in it. nothing of value will be lost, you don't deserve to spend your life in a closet, the most radical thing you can do is to exist authentically. i will always cheer for you, i will always celebrate you.

[hotnfreshtakes]

trans men and transmascs do need to hear they aren't hurting anyone for being masculine, but more than that they need to hear that they are loved for being masculine. your masculinity is wonderful and magical and you pull it off incredibly well. your masculinity is cool, it's desirable, it's attractive. there are people out there who will be drawn to you because of your masculinity, not just in spite of it. you deserve more than just to be tolerated in queer spaces. your masculinity deserves to be celebrated

[learn-how-to-love]

I found out today that there was a (thankfully very ill-fated) attempt to have the entire Wikipedia article on discrimination against transgender men deleted. At first I thought the perpetrator was yet another bargain bin transphobe/TERF act of disruption but apparently not so, she is a trans woman. The user in question had been disputing the use of transandrophobia in the article as being inappropriate, but as other editors pointed out, the way in which it was used was as to be expected (basically saying “hey this term is being used commonly right now in places to describe this phenomena”). When attempts to get the article edited to remove any mention of the term failed, this user instead decided to just nominate the whole article for deletion instead. She even went as far as to say “you will never be a man” to the editors disputing this, though it was quickly deleted. It’s the actions of only a single person, but I find this indicative of how the chronic devaluing and othering of transmasculine people and voices in faux-transfeminist spaces leads to action basically indistinguishable from cis transphobes. Resorting to attempted vandalism of an online resource and blatant transphobia is a symptom of this trend that deserves absolutely no patience at this point.

[professorfcknmoriarty]

[transmasc-theory]

Transandrophobes will be like "theyfab and birthday boy and transandrocunt and tdicktimized boy and pooner and zippertits aren't slurs, they're just disparaging words made to demean and humiliate a minority I don't like!"

[genderkoolaid]

men who have a vagina and/or uterus do not systemically benefit from male privilege. its that simple

[genderkoolaid]

this isn't a statement that should need qualifiers to clarify intent because its true. yeah someone could use this true thing to be a dick, to bend it to mean a certain thing, especially when the person hasn't unlearned any of the oppositional sexism or transphobia theyve been taught.

but it doesn't inherently imply any of that. and it is a pretty basic feminist observation. this should be transfeminism 101. its insane that this is as controversial as it is. the fact that it isnt transfeminism 101 should tell you something about how much feminism has been held back by its own transphobia & anti-transmasculinity.

[genderkoolaid]

if you disagree with this statement i better not ever hear you talking about medical misogyny & the lack of research on "female bodies" or ESPECIALLY reproductive autonomy, abortion, forced pregnancy, etc. etc. because there is NO WAY! to discuss misogyny that targets the body without talking about trans men and nonbinary people and intersex people and, yes trans women, who can also overlap with all of the previous groups!

either you are a transphobe and don't care if we live or we die or you do and you should be making an effort to include us. and that means getting more comfortable with ambiguity and nuance around trans people and their relationships to patriarchy and gender oppression. and that includes trans men and masculinity/manhood in general!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is no way around this

transfeminism should be about complicating the feminist framework that was built by & for cis perisex women. it shouldn't be about flattening trans and intersex experiences to fit into that framework. like what are we doing here can we be so for real.

[genderkoolaid]

to boil it down for y'all:

this post is telling you to include all trans men and nonbinary people and every non-cis-perisex-woman whose got any body parts (natal or not) that are socially feminized & subject to misogyny in your feminism,

or stop talking about medical misogyny entirely.

i really couldn't give less of a fuck if some trans men have cushy office jobs and get bro hugs from their cis guy coworkers. i care about trans men like Ezz Eldin / Ahmed Fare, an Egyptian trans man who died after getting an hysterectomy at an underground clinic that discharged him immediately after, leaving him to bleed to death. trans men are raped and forced into marriages and denied abortions and subject to medicine that never studied bodies like ours, and you never fucking hear about it.

i just want everyone to talk more about transmasculine oppression than we do the platonic ideal middle-class white cis passing heterosexual trans man with an office job. i want you to care more about the trans men who don't fucking make it. this post isn't even really about male privilege as much as it is me fucking begging people to realize that YOU are contributing to transmasc erasure and YOU can STOP at ANY FUCKING TIME!

[transguyjusttrying]

if you're equating "kill all (oppressed group)" with harmless, hyperbolic jokes, you've lost the fucking plot. you are the problem. i don't give a shit how "frustrated" you are. throwing other trans people under the bus is not helping anyone. if this is your response to saying "hey, maybe don't joke about killing other trans people," you cannot be trusted to be normal about any trans person who even slightly disagrees with you.

[cock-holliday]

reinstalled shinigami eyes to take a look at the damage and it's so much worse than a year or so ago when i deleted it. virtually every intersex blog i know of regardless of how they feel about tme/tma is marked red unless they are especially vocal about liking it, countless trans men are marked red regardless of whether they are vocally inclusive, most who are marked green are either famous guys or are (somewhat) infamous for their transphobia and exorsexism if not also racism.

Plenty of transphobic cis folks are green. Virtually every trans-positivity account is red except for the ones who are unapologetically transphobic to at least part of the community. Countless trans women who vocally uses the term transandrophobia are marked red. Several trans women who dont even use the term but have at least on one occasion defended or sympathized with trans men are red. Several trans women who are bigender/NB/Etc with inclusion of any "male" or masc terms are red regardless of whether they seem to have anything to say about trans men.

It is BLEAK. I've been trying to remove reds and greens as I assess, but it is really really gross that it was a pretty well-known soft rule a decade plus ago that you didn't mark trans people red at all even if they were shitheads, unless they were actual proud terfs, because the flagging was guaranteed to isolate them from community.

Inability to assess risk and a total aversion to narratives that contradict what you assume to be the case for others is getting people into a lot of trouble.

Shinigami eyes is completely dead and less than useless, but since so many people still seem to trust it, I do not want people to keep getting flagged as violent evil transphobes cause they started identifying as genderqueer.

[isuggestrespecttranspeople]

Shinigami eyes is terrible and useless. Please stop using it you respect trans people.

[cock-holliday]

I do think it’s a bit funny that there is such a stress for trans men to be aware of their privileges because like the vast majority of them are hyper-aware. A guy whose entire gym experience for years has been getting sexually harassed every day suddenly being left alone is gonna notice. A trans man who is constantly dismissed and belittled at his job having his voice suddenly be listened to is gonna notice.

Trans men talk about how their health problems were ignored for decades and then suddenly when they were seen as men getting tests ordered they never would have and then immediately upon showing up getting subjected to horrible transphobia when they get outed and tumblr’s brightest minds will ponder, “do you think trans men are even capable of recognizing misogyny?”

[transmasc-theory]

I think the situation where trans men are now banned from all public bathrooms in the UK is a perfect summation of transandrophobia.

It happened in broad daylight. It was telegraphed ahead of time; TERFs were very clear they wanted trans men removed from public life entirely. Yet during the entire lead-up, and even since then, people have erased transmascs completely from the conversation, saying they weren't in danger like transfemmes are, and in fact alleging that transmascs enjoyed a measure of protection from TERFs, who allegedly just see them as confused little girls they want to protect.

And while people were busy being useful idiots and spreading TERF propaganda for them, while people were busy actively denying the threat to transmascs, TERFs made it so transmascs can be excluded from any public bathroom in the UK.

That's transandrophobia in a nutshell. Trans men don't die in the spotlight, they die in the shadows, and are told they're privileged for their quiet, out-of-sight deaths.

[lonelydesolate]

hi can you name one transmasc congressman 👍

[hellofmychoice]

This is wild because restricting HRT for trans women, but keeping access for trans men has NEVER been a stated goal of people who advocate for trans men. However, multiple transphobic trans women have specifically advocated for more gatekeeping of HRT for trans men and mascs.

[the-transgenda-agenda]

This is insane to me because transmasc hrt is already more heavily regulated than transfem hrt.

[ghostboyravenight-deactivated20]

”trans men are the weakest links of the trans community” my trans male friends and I have lived a lifetime of having our bodily autonomy stripped away to the point of sexual harassment. people talk about our bodies like everyone except us owns them because no one can handle the idea of precious female bodies being “mutilated” by gender affirming care. we are treated like traitors by women and as confused, silly girls by men. we have no spaces in which we belong because even the queer community tries to control our bodies. if we pass as men then we get ousted from queer-friendly spaces, and if we don’t pass as men we’re treated like cringe, theyfab trenders. everything we love is considered annoying. we’re called ugly and sad and “what a shame you guys are men haha”. We have to watch as society uses us as an excuse to ban gender affirming care for young people because our bodies belong to the government, because our bodies belong to our mothers, and because our anatomy is the only thing they see us as. And then we have to sit back as the trans community blames us for these bans. “All of these fake transtrenders are the reason they all hate us” when we’re busy having the women in our lives scrutinise our bodies to make sure we’re not being “infected” by the trans contagion. There’s no space we can belong in. No space that tries to make us feel welcome because either they treat us like women or they treat us like dangerous, cis men.

Every trans man I know has been sexually assaulted. Every trans man I know has been brought to suicide attempts, either due to their families or due to people online bullying them to death. Our struggles are constantly diminished and yet behind the scenes we’re fucking exhausted from fighting attacks from every single goddamn side. How fucking dare you call us weak. We’re going through fucking hell like every other goddamn trans person out there and our bodies are being abused and controlled and scrutinised every day of our fucking lives. Have you seen how TERFs talk about our bodies? How they lament us “mutilating” our breasts, our fertility, our anatomy, all in the name of feminism. That’s sexual fucking harassment, and it’s disgusting. But that’s all they fucking see us as. We’re not human, we’re just defected specimens. Cis women give themselves free passes to harass our bodies because they see us as “one of them”. One of them, but wrong. One of them, but need to be fixed. My mother regularly checks my chest to make sure I’m not trying to flatten it, and she can get away with it because “that’s what mothers do to their daughters.” Even when I’m not her daughter. Even when I’m screaming at the top of my lungs wanting to die because my body doesn’t belong to me. My body stopped belonging to me as soon as I came out as trans, because female empowerment doesn’t apply to me anymore. Female empowerment is now about “correcting” me, to restore my body back to its former glory, because only then was I worth something.

We are not weak. We are strong as fuck for dealing with the shit we have to deal with. And the worst part is, so much of the bullying comes from other trans men. We’ve been taught to hate ourselves so much that the only way to get ahead is to put down our own brothers and treat them in the way we’ve been treated.

There is no weak link of the community because we’re all dealing with absolute shit from all sides, but don’t you ever suggest that trans men are somehow the whiny babies who have nothing to complain about when we’re constantly holding back from screaming our guts out because there’s nothing else we can do.

[transguyjusttrying]

starting your medical transition before fully socially transitioning is so fucking scary. like i have to constantly worry about how close my shave is, how low my voice is getting, how my super maga family will react once they know the truth. i'm constantly walking on eggshells and i can't see a single scenario where i am still speaking with my family once they know i'm trans

[doctordragon]

That post that's like "afab housing reveals the difference between transmisogyny and transandrophobia: trans women are denied housing while trans men just have to misgender themselves to get housing" is so stupid. I think the only thing it reveals is these people's view that trans men getting misgendered is simply not as big of a deal as when it happens to trans women.

Like, in this hypothetical scenario, both the trans man and woman have the exact same choice: get misgendered or get denied housing... Except a trans woman getting misgendered is framed as worse than being homeless while trans men should just like... Shut up and deal with it, I guess.

This is actually a really good example of an issue all trans people experience and should be able to relate to each other about, but these people are too busy sniffing their own oppression Olympics farts to think about what other types of trans people go through.

[rambling-crerchur]

Because testosterone is already a controlled substance and thus the posession of it as DIY HRT is already illegal. Trans men and transmascs have been talking about this for literal years. This is such a bizarre kneejerk, because instead of simply talking about how horrible the attempt to criminalize DIY estrogen is OP here immedeatly decides to make this about trans men and transmascs being less opressed.

[jury-shall-decide]

times that 'defend all queer people, even the weird ones' goes out the window, as seen on tumblr dot com

a multigender person exists and uses labels to describe their experience being multigender

an intersex person exists and uses labels to describe their experience being intersex

a transmasc person exists and uses labels to describe their experience being transmasc

a nonbinary person exists and uses labels to describe their experience being nonbinary

a transfem or otherwise 'fellow tma' person exists that has a Differing opinion from you on how they personally view their own gender. and uses labels to explain this that you then call them a traitor for.

a person using language to explain how PERSONALLY, their raising as a certain gender affected their current identity now

like some of yall Scream 'lesboy/turigirl DNI!'. 2020 called. none of the above things are hurting you in any way aside from making you mad that your idea of the queer community can't just be perisex fems.