Translink

"Have you considered walking?". Northern Ireland's favourite rail replacement bus service. 18+. she/her

[translinkofficial]

Hello, we are the public transport provider for Northern Ireland:

1. Do you like Translink? This page seems to exist just to complain about them

Yeah! A lot, actually. But there are some weird things about the public transport service in NI that need to be made fun of: such as the fact that almost every bus in Belfast has to go through the city centre, making relatively short East-West journeys (like Stranmillis to Finaghy) take ridiculously long.

2. Is this an urbanism blog?

No. Yes. A little?

3. This blog mostly talks about Belfast: why?

Because I live in Belfast.

4. Why does Translink have she/her pronouns?

Because the woman who runs this blog has she/her pronouns. Not for nothing, she's also trans: which feels fitting.

5. Where is my bus?

Up a tree.

6. Where is my train?

Up the same tree as the bus.

7. Where is the Glider?

Oh, you just missed it! The next one is in seven years.

[translinkofficial]

Translink bus passed me while standing at a hospital bus stop to park further up the road from the stop and made me run like a dog to catch up then drove away when I caught up. I'm so glad that Translink is helping me get my exercise in for the day <3

Well, of course. You have to prove your commitment to us before getting on our buses: that's just a basic principle of good transport policy.

In addition to running, we also accept brandings of our logo onto your forehead and blood sacrifices.

[translinkofficial]

I LOVE THIS BLOG SO MUCH <3 <3 <3

But not as much as you'll love our new...

Subscription Bus Card

Say goodbye to the outdated Day Ticket system! Here comes the future!

NOW! For the low price of £99 a week (the equivalent of just 30 cups of coffee!), you can take two (2) buses per day* at a discounted fare of ALMOST 5%!

Yes, you heard us right! That means a Metro journey for ONLY £2.20!

Please note, that from the 1st of July 2026, subscription will be necessary to board any of our services!

Just one of the many ways we are becoming Better. Connected.

*Does not apply to cross-border services or any services in County Tyrone, both of which are ending

[translinkofficial]

But seriously, that's very lovely of you to say. Thank you.

[translinkofficial]

I LOVE THIS BLOG SO MUCH <3 <3 <3

But not as much as you'll love our new...

Subscription Bus Card

Say goodbye to the outdated Day Ticket system! Here comes the future!

NOW! For the low price of £99 a week (the equivalent of just 30 cups of coffee!), you can take two (2) buses per day* at a discounted fare of ALMOST 5%!

Yes, you heard us right! That means a Metro journey for ONLY £2.20!

Please note, that from the 1st of July 2026, subscription will be necessary to board any of our services!

Just one of the many ways we are becoming Better. Connected.

*Does not apply to cross-border services or any services in County Tyrone, both of which are ending

[translinkofficial]

ugh yes check my ticket daddy uuuuugh fine me for not having one i'll pay i'll pay like a good girl *whimpers*

[translinkofficial]

This kind of language is expected behaviour on our services by the way. Our ticket collectors will be offended if you don't respond like this (and may ask you to leave the train).

[translinkofficial]

Safety Announcement

After consultation with the PSNI, and after recent attacks on our flagship Glider services, we have decided to, in the interests of consumer safety:

Replace the tyres on our entire bus fleet with caterpillar tracks

Install a rotating gun turret at the front of our buses

Dramatically reduce the capacity of our buses, and make the driver only accessible through a hubcap

Encase our buses with bulletproof armour

Say hello to the face of our new Metro fleet! Coming as early as August 2026!

Just one of the many ways we are becoming Better. Connected.

[translinkofficial]

ugh yes check my ticket daddy uuuuugh fine me for not having one i'll pay i'll pay like a good girl *whimpers*

[translinkofficial]

Not gonna lie, it's hard to be all jokey about public transport right now. If you live in Belfast, please be aware that currently:

The last buses will depart at 5pm today (10th June)

The last trains this evening will depart at 6pm

This is how it's standing at the moment, at least. Please plan your journeys around this if you possibly can. Take care, be safe, check in with your neighbours.

[translinkofficial]

Breaking character for a moment, stay safe out there folks. What happened last night was a horrendous act of violence (and has to be condemned) but we cannot allow the far right to capitalise on what happened to sow division or spread mayhem. We gain nothing as a society, and in fact stand to lose everything, if the legacy of one act of violence is hundreds of retaliatory attacks.

The victims of fascism are our neighbours, our friends, our fellow humans, and we owe it to one another not to let a bunch of far right weirdos take over the narrative and divide us. We must stand strong and protect one another from the spread of fascism within these six counties, and the island in general. Do not give them an inch.

To paraphrase the words of the many antiracists who protected Kenmure Street in Glasgow from Home Office thugs: "These are our neighbours! Keep them safe!"

[translinkofficial]

Here at Translink, we are vehemently opposed to "free public transport"!

We are opposed to this ludicrous suggestion, brought to the table only by communists and other undesirables, because:

It will lower carbon emissions through getting cars off the road!

It will increase the number of passengers!

It will force us to increase our frequency and quality of services!

It will make NI a better place to live, and make travelling around the statelet easier!

All of these outcomes are undesirable, but consider this, the worst one of all: it will make our ticket collectors sad! We strive to only employ people into this role who have a proven love of denying service, people who get a thrill out of kicking people off of our trains and buses, and adopting this ridiculous suggestion would deny them that pleasure. You wouldn't want that, would you?

But beyond that, adopting small but consistent ways of punishing poor people is a foundational practice of our company, and without ticket fares we will lose our identity!

[queer-as-city-folk]

day dreaming about good transit...

[translinkofficial]

We hope you're not doing that on the 6e Metro service from Belfast Centre to Four Winds. That's where dreams go to die.

[themaskofreason]

Just watched someone on the bus send a whatsapp message to translink, what a day to be alive

[translinkofficial]

We got their message and reported it as spam. There is nothing, and there has never been, anything wrong with our service: we are perfect in every possible way 😊

[iarnrod-eireann]

hey girl

[translinkofficial]

heyyyy Iarnród Éireann 🚆! is the train working between Dundalk and Connolly yet? :(

I've been worrying about our shared line!

[translinkofficial]

After consultation with leaders from both communities, we've decided that our approach to the Derry/Londonderry name dispute was inadequate, and for that we can only apologise. We strive to be an open, progressive, and inclusive public transport provider for our customers, regardless of religious background or political belief.

For this reason, the station that was formerly known as "Derry~Londonderry" will now be renamed "Purgatory", and will be referred to as such in all signage and announcements from this point.

Hopefully this will allow us to move forwards from the mistakes of our past, and help us all to become Better. Connected.

[translinkofficial]

(As Gaeilge)

Bhí comhairliúchán againn le ceannairí ón dá phobal, agus shocraigh muid go bhfuil ár gcur chuige go dtí an t-ainm Dhoire easnamhach. Tá brón orainn faoi sin. Ba mhaith linn a bheith córas iompar poiblí oscailte, forásach, agus ionchuimsitheach de ár gcustaiméirí, beag beann ar a gcreidimh nó bprionsabail polaitíochta.

Ar an gcúis seo, athainmneoidh muid an stáisiún Dhoire chuig "Purgadóir", agus déanfaidh muid tagairt dó mar sin.

Tá súil againn a bheith ábalta dul chun cinn uilig le cheile, Níos fearr. Ceangailte.

[translinkofficial]

After consultation with leaders from both communities, we've decided that our approach to the Derry/Londonderry name dispute was inadequate, and for that we can only apologise. We strive to be an open, progressive, and inclusive public transport provider for our customers, regardless of religious background or political belief.

For this reason, the station that was formerly known as "Derry~Londonderry" will now be renamed "Purgatory", and will be referred to as such in all signage and announcements from this point.

Hopefully this will allow us to move forwards from the mistakes of our past, and help us all to become Better. Connected.

[translinkofficial]

Here at Translink, we are committed to making our Lost-and-Found Service as Kafkaesque as possible, and that is why we are relocating the department to behind a locked door at the end of a dimly lit corridor with forty other rooms also labelled "Lost-and-Found Department".

Customers will now have to fill out a survey, take a three-hour interview (while handcuffed), and promise to (re)name their first born child after the interviewer before being reunited with their item. That is, after they correctly select it from one of three boxes, the others of which contain snakes. We feel that this is the best way to make sure that customers understand the value of their item, and of their continued loyalty to our company.

Just one of the many ways we are becoming Better. Connected.

[themaskofreason]

Just watched someone on the bus send a whatsapp message to translink, what a day to be alive

[translinkofficial]

We got their message and reported it as spam. There is nothing, and there has never been, anything wrong with our service: we are perfect in every possible way 😊

[translinkofficial]

Free train tickets for all queer people during pride month*!

To apply, please go to your nearest station and talk to the conductor. They will then inspect your Spotify search history and ask you to sing the chorus of one (1) Chappell Roan song (not Good Luck, Babe!). Please remember that if you get any of the words wrong you will have the words "fake gay" tattooed into your forehead and be banned from our services until July!

Better. Connected.

*does not apply to journeys to or from Lanyon Place