Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

blake kathryn

Janaina Medeiros

Origami Around
Peter Solarz
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
One Nice Bug Per Day
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
todays bird
almost home
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titsay

izzy's playlists!
Mike Driver

Andulka

tannertan36

seen from South Korea

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@transmormcn
Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell
I'm sorry but he just looks so FUCKING GOOD in Alexander McQueen.
the breaker light switches existing and not working at first is realizing there’s something wrong with you. They don’t do anything at first, cause maybe it’s just a weird feature. Then the lights turn on by themselves. It interrupts your life. They actually do something, and you aren’t in control of it. After Clark turns off the lights, he finds the backrooms.
the lights flickering -> the electrician finding the weird breaker switches, and them not doing anything in the moment -> the lights turning on randomly, only getting turned off by Clark messing w the weird breaker switches -> Clark noticing the light sliver -> him getting tangled further and further into the backrooms
The store = Clark’s life
Below part of the store = worse parts of Clark’s life
the backrooms = deeper suppressed parts that eventually consume clark
the electrician I think is comparable to Mary because he found the weird breaker switches, like how Mary found a worse part of Clark in their therapy session. Once he messed with it, it started doing something
I do think Clark does qualify as accidentally really good NPD representation but know I say that as a narc who saw a lot of his worst tendacies in Clark as well as related to his excitement over finally finding a place that caters to him before accepting he has to let it go, only for a literal manifestation of his ego to kill him (us when the disorder is disordering).
And not as like. Evil bad man disease.
I do think Clark does qualify as accidentally really good NPD representation but know I say that as a narc who saw a lot of his worst tendacies in Clark as well as related to his excitement over finally finding a place that caters to him before accepting he has to let it go, only for a literal manifestation of his ego to kill him (us when the disorder is disordering).
And not as like. Evil bad man disease.
I like it in here.
so pissed at these racist fucks on tumblr people really are not exaggerating when they say this site is so fucking white seriously we have a really good horror movie with a black protagonist who is nuanced and interesting and a DAMN GOOD actor and everyone’s thirsting over the white twink who has 10 minutes of screen time. posts about the PROTAGONIST are getting less interactions than a picture of the white guy shirtless with “oh my god he’s soooooo cuteeee!” ARE YOU INSANE . no you’re just racist.
For a little I felt like we missed Clark’s spiral and that’s why the change felt so sudden but in the same scene that Clark shows this “sudden” violent part of himself he says ‘I don’t want to change’.
Clark has always been like this. We saw his extreme anger at the start of the movie. His disregard for those around him with how he speaks to and about them. The implied breaking of the glass was that he threw it, not knocked it over.
I was expecting a spiral but he didn’t need one. He was already there.
MEMORY FOAM THE STILL LIFES WERE MADE OF MEMORY FOAM THE BACKROOMS REMEMBERS
This is gonna be long, i have never had so many thoughts abt a movie. Tldr: the backrooms is about how trauma and mental illness can trap people, and i wanted to look at that from an anti-capitalist and anti-patriarchy angle. Warning for minor to major spoilers!
I fucking loved the backrooms because of how complicated and human both clark and mary are. As mary says in the beginning, while he isnt handling it well, clark’s anger at his situation is completely normal. The way he acts in therapy is perfectly normal and helpful for working through his emotions (i love the way therapy is portrayed in this movie). He’s overworked and stressed and feels under appreciated by everyone around him, especially his wife, and it’s best to get that anger out in a controlled environment where it can be examined and worked through. But due to his unwillingness to change and entitlement that he should be able to do whatever he wants because he’s the only one financially supporting his family (at the moment), all while having seemingly no other support system than his therapist (who is not the best at her job tbh), he instead makes things worse and his mental health spirals. The situation he’s in isnt entirely his fault, but the way he’s handling it is.
The backrooms are a failing brain trying to hold onto even the most basic of memories, even as they warp and decay.
The backrooms are generative AI trying to capture something real but only achieving a malformed, mindless imitation.
The backrooms are stagnation, an unwillingness to step into the new and uncomfortable effort of changing, instead running through the same old routine even as it starts to fall in on itself.
The backrooms are nostalgia cannibalizing itself, trying to remake and remake what it already knows without making anything new, until the familiar is so bastardized it's barely recognizable.
Have you seen the backrooms movie yet? If not, do you plan to watch it?
HOLY FUCKING PEAK.
Backrooms spoilers below
Why dis 🏴☠️ look so mad 😭😭😭
Anyway i love how the movie uses this very abstract out-there horror premise to represent the human tendency to get stuck on something and obsess over it and become trapped in a never-ending cycle and to resist change so hard that you still change anyway but in a way that degrades and warps and destroys you and the fallibility of human memory and how every time you recall something it gets a little less accurate which means the more you obsess over something the further entrenched in it you become the more you choose to live here the worse it gets the less you understand it until your perspective on the objective reality of it is completely destroyed. The backrooms are a brain the whole thing is a brain. The horror is the human brain. CAN ANYBODY HEAR MEEEEE
cough cough spoilers
a handprint made in concrete is just the image of a hand, it’s not the real thing. or, it’s the absence of a hand, more than anything, the negative space. the casing around where it should be. it’s an indent that was made from something real - that could not have existed without something real - but it’s not the real thing, it’s just trying to be. maybe it’s not even trying. you put your hand there with your mother and the concrete remembers, and the handprint doesn’t even know why it exists, it just does. if we can make copies and not-things from real things in the world, who’s the say the world couldn’t do that itself? does it even need to know why?
i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you