Got ghosted on my birthday by someone I’ve know for a decade…
And just like that…
Everything’s gone…
And damn is I if that didn’t hurt…
What a way to celebrate my birthday…

roma★
wallacepolsom
One Nice Bug Per Day

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

blake kathryn
Claire Keane
ojovivo

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🪼

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

Andulka

shark vs the universe
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
styofa doing anything
Show & Tell
will byers stan first human second
Stranger Things
dirt enthusiast
todays bird
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@trappedinsideyou
Got ghosted on my birthday by someone I’ve know for a decade…
And just like that…
Everything’s gone…
And damn is I if that didn’t hurt…
What a way to celebrate my birthday…
currently feeling the pressure…. hard to sleep
THEORY FOR LADS IN MY HEAD AT 2AM Just finish reading Zayne’s God of Annihilation Myth and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Zayne is a probably a God from a higher plane.Someone who oversees countless of worlds, probably a god who’s most likely to oversee the space and time of the world. As an overseer who watch every plane in existence.
Zayne probably met MC in one of those worlds. A person who’s existence is a variable. As someone who oversees everything he must have been curious about her existence and in the process falls in love with this mortal. Every plane he oversees already has a predetermined fate like a novel or a book that has a beginning and an end. I felt that’s the purpose of the fractal library which I think is directly connected to Zayne in one way or another.
Zayne who’s heart was moved by a mere mortal decides to go against MC’s predetermined fate, which means he ignores the natural order of things. By doing so means tying MC’s fate to his and bears a punishment for doing so, probably losing his control over the fractal library or maybe by opposing the predetermined fate means every time he meets MC it’ll always end in tragedy, this is due to their intermingled fate that was formed outside the predetermined one. Except for the present timeline where every person (LI) is actually alive with her not just one but all five of them as a chance of having the chance to end in a happy note and not a tragedy. See that MC met the five of them in this present timeline.
I felt like MC is a bug that suddenly becomes conscious or hyper aware of things due to mutation of her own protocore. If these timelines and planes where an existing book in the fractal library then everything indeed is predetermined with a beginning and an end. If a person inside becomes aware then they become a variable. MC seems to always have a memory problem, i think this is probably because in her core she knows things shes not supposed to know but because its too much for her its been sealed away. See that whenever the memory unlocks their end always comes next whether its the LI or MC?
I also think MC actually is the real owner of Creatio protocore since it always finds its way to her in every timeline. Whether it was Zayne or the other love interest.
In a way I felt like creatio protocore is also connected to the fractal library which in return makes MC more like an existence that creates these timelines, rather than a bug.
EVER on the other hand probably is another bug that becomes conscious of the things and started his obsession over immortality and power by doing so became obsess with aethercore mutations that will help him realize that goal. So the experiment starts which made another defiance against the natural order of world which also make sense since they were so interested on getting MC’s aethercore. Since wanderers were once humans or living beings that had a mutation on their cores.
I dunno if what i think make sense but my head was trying to figure things out whether this theory is full of loopholes and whatnot ahaha. What do you guys think?
Sometimes you just felt that the world turn its back on you…
Everything just collapses in front of you…
The weight of truth tend to burden a persons mind…
Like the dry grainy sands that gets wet as rain starts to fall…
It makes you wonder how the smallest thing can become so heavy...
Ready?
I don't know if I am...
I felt like I am but at the same time I doubt...
If being complete is what it takes to love someone...
Then, am I complete?
I felt confuse...
I wanted to love...
But I forgot how it works...
I wanted to know...
But I don't know where to start...
In this case...
I'm just a person who's lost on what to do...
Baptized by the reality that I'm no longer the naive girl waiting for his prince to come...
But I need it...
I just don't know if I wanted it...
-to the lady trapped inside her mind
It's hard... It's heavy... Life tends to surprise you the least you expect them to be... Like a flower that blooms in summer and wither in fall... Like how the sun shines bright in the morning and sets at night... Time will continue to fly... Leaving behind the past... Moving continuously at present... And running towards the future... Never been easy... To lose someone... Specially someone who you grew up with during your precious childhood...
Adults world is just a big realization...
Realization that you live in the reality...
That you are on a different lane than others...
Thay you will always be on your own...
Eveb though it will never always be you at all...
That sinking feeling that you can never go back to being that naive kid without care to the world except for taking an afternoon nap...
Your shadow has forever been casted...
Always pondering...
Always existing...
Always lingering...
I might forget the feeling...
But it will just be there,
Silently...
Deeply...
Ingrained to my mind...
The sense of dejavu when Saturday comes....
It felt so different...
Just different....
If...
The world continue...
And I was left there alone...
Staying to where I was...
Not being able to move forward...
But consciously looking back...
Wondering why I was stuck there...
In that past full of regrets...
Without anyone to rely on...
But myself holding on a tight rope...
Tiny strings snapping in every second of the day...
Confused and weary...
Of why I am the way that I am...
Time passes by in an instant...
Everything seems to change so much...
The home that was once full of people's now empty...
The once home filled with children laughter is now engulf with deafing silence...
How the time changes...
How apparent it was now that the people who was once there...
Is no longer...
The problem is the knowledge. The knowledge you will get older, that you need comfort and safety and financial security, and your loved ones need the same and the world is not built to simply give you those things for simply living. You fear that the love you hold in your chest is not enough because you have been told love is not enough for a secure future. That you must work yourself to the bones and it still may not be enough. The knowledge is heavy. It is like a hand wrapped around your throat. Because all you really want is to lie in peace in a meadow somewhere, your head on your lover’s chest as they read your favourite book to you. But you have been taught that to earn this life, you must first set yourself on fire. And then what remains of you may just may be rewarded. I hope the world changes for you. I hope you get your meadow one day and you do not have to burn to get it. I hope it’s as vibrant as you always wanted it to be.
- Nikita Gill, Midnight Thoughts
The piercing pain of waking up the next day
Knowing you made it again...
But that person was forever laid in his eternal rest...
Still confuse to why...
Still asking the ifs...
Just filled with questions that forever casted...
Never to be answered....
Just that...
Just that...
Let it sink...
To a place too deep to ponder...
To a world that can be forgotten...
Let it be locked out...
Without keys to open...
Let it be...
For it is nothing but a can full of worms...
And so it goes...
The sound of whispers beneath the surface of your mind, tangled in a sweet nothings of regrets and childhood memories... The world changes in every second of the clock, as time passes by. I began to wonder the reasons for existing, and the ending of the unknown...
-Hannah K. V 9/11/2023
That sinking feeling of realization...
In just a snap...
You began to question what you were trying to live for...
Like every little things you tried to reason yourself to stay doesn't matter anymore...
Is it really so easy?
Is it?
Why...
Just why...