🐦⬛ am i the only one who doesn't want the "you're their first time" headcanon to be true for sylus?
a bit of a ramble, but i haven't seen this discussed much and i was wondering if other people have opinions on it!! (it makes sense for zayne, since he tends to isolate :(. caleb i'm a little torn on, because who's to say he didn't get frustrated and desperate during the time he didn't see you frequently enough in college?)
but sylus.... idk, you can't tell me that the head of a huge seedy criminal organization is still a virgin at 28. the way he is now to me kinda speaks to his patience and restraint being learned. you can't live in a place like the n109 zone for so many years and come out untouched and 'pure'.
maybe in his early 20s he went through a phase where he gave in to every desire of his that he could fulfill, destroyed whatever he pleased in his rage, and used every bit of his power whenever he wanted to. i think giving into carnal desires (aka sex) would be part of this as well. maybe he got drunk and impulsive, or became overwhelmed with longing when he saw someone who looks just like you did.
maybe all of his suffering overwhelmed him, and he grasped at whatever he could. maybe he became fixated on a hopeless realization that he really would never see you again.
i'm definitely not saying he hurt anyone or did anything non consensually!!! i'm thinking late nights slumped over a bar, or galas with the elite that give out free shots. tempted by a pretty stranger, having a night of empty pleasure before sneaking out with a hangover. one night stands with no commitment because no one could ever measure up to the person who holds the other half of his soul.
and he learned through experience that it won't help whatsoever. no matter what he does to try and vent his anger through violence, or sex, or pure indulgence, it won't staunch the fire that burns hot in his chest.
i feel like expecting him to come out of his childhood and upbringing perfectly patient and a master of restraint right away is a little unrealistic, and removes a lot of potential depth from his character!!!
also, it means he's experienced, knows what he likes, and is able to walk you through everything with ease. he can read your expressions, mannerisms, and body, both through his memories of a 'you' from so long ago, but also from prior experiences he never truly enjoyed.
and i think it means a lot more if his first night with you is the first time he revels in the pleasure. the first time he actually feels intimacy rather than just going through the motions as a fruitless attempt to sate his desires. the first time he slows down in the aftermath to take care of his partner. the first time he stays through the night and into the morning. the first time he wakes up beside the one he loves.








