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No terfs

#lgbt+#lgbt #safe space #no terfs thank u #if u r just block me and save myself the trouble #bi #bisexual #gay #lesbian #trans #nonbinary #asexual #aromantic

*during a couples race*

Tauriel: *carrying Kili bridal-style, jogging a little and talking calmly with him*

Fili: *runs past carrying reader over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes; they're both screaming*

#the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #fili #kili #kiliel #kili x tauriel #fili x reader #fili durin #fili my beloved #the hobbit incorrect quotes

*at dinner with the Company*

Dwalin: If there's gonna be a big dramatic scene, wait till I get back.

Bilbo: Of course, I can't flip this table by myself.

#actually they get along extremely well #and Dwalin needs to use the bathroom #he knows Bilbo is about to explode on someone #and he wants to see it #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #dwalin #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Bombur, to the rest of the Company: A moment of silence please.

Thorin: Why? What's happening?

Bombur: Nothing, I just want you all to shut up.

#he wants a bit of peace and quiet #which is almost impossible #hobbit #the hobbit #thorin company #Bombur #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Balin: Please understand, I am not emotionally invested in any of this.

Fili: That’s the nicest way of saying “I don’t give a fuck” I’ve ever seen.

#fili's taking notes #the hobbit incorrect quotes #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #fili #Balin

Dori: Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.

Ori: Define 'stupid'

Dori: Anything Nori suggested.

Ori: Noted

#to be fair #as much as I love Nori #Dori has a point #the hobbit incorrect quotes #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #RI bothers #ori #Dori #nori

Bilbo, making chicken soup, dropping a vegetable on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got almost eaten by a malicious creature down the goblin tunnels.

Bofur, coughing on his ale: Excuse me??

#Bilbo forgot to tell them about that little story #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #bofur #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Oin: I love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. Could be none. Bitch.

#I love my grumpy healer #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #oin #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Dwalin: *gives Y/N a disappointed look*

Y/N: Don't look at me like that.

Y/N: …

Y/N: *tearing up*: You're not my real dad.

#they both cried after that #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #Dwalin #reader #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Dwalin: Bilbo’s cooking.

Thorin: Good. Put him on slow heat and let him simmer.

#the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #dwalin #the hobbit incorrect quotes

*Bilbo absolutely verbally eviscerating someone who was mean to the company*

Thorin: Friends, avert your eyes.

The company: Why?

Thorin already too busy kissing Bilbo like his life depends on it

#the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield #thilbo #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Kili, gazing lovingly at Tauriel: She could kill me and I'd thank her.

Fili, who'd heard this for the millionth time: I'd thank her too

#he just wants to sleep #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #fili #kili #fili and kili #tauriel #kiliel #kili X tauriel #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Bilbo: *relaxing in a tub*

Bofur: *busts into the room, climbs into the tub fully clothed*

Bilbo: what the-

Bofur: I MISSED YOU.

Bilbo: Oh? Okay.

#Bilbo will probably be pissed once the shock wears off #in the bathtub with clothes #DIRTY clothes #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #bofur #bilbo x bofur #boffins #the hobbit incorrect quotes

Dwalin: I am a simple man, with simple desires

Dwalin: food… warmth… good company…

Dwalin: and for Bilbo to finally realise that I’m fucking flirting with him

#it's not going well #not because Bilbo is not interested #but because they are both shit at making their interest known #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #Dwalin #bilbo x dwalin

Bilbo: I always keep a painting of all of us on my person. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The company: Awwww-

Bilbo: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The company: Oh.

#Bilbo is so done #they are starting to restore Erebor and the company keeps tailing him #he ALWAYS has someone with him #he just wants a bit of peace and quiet #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #fili #thorin oakenshield #dwalin #nori #kili #balin

Dwalin: WHERE IS HE? HE'S DEAD!

Bilbo: He’s hiding inside the closet. To your right.

Nori from inside the closet: Bilbo! What did I ever do to you?!

Bilbo: You ate the last chocolate scone.

#Bilbo doesn't play about his desserts #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #dwalin #nori

Bilbo, to everyone: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd!

Kili: You say "you people" like you're not part of the family. Well, I've got news for you, Mr Boggins. You're already on the Yule card.

#too late for Bilbo #he's stuck for life #the hobbit #hobbit #thorin company #bilbo baggins #kili

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