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a-fandom-nerd

He'd always wanted to be leader.

Some kind of ruler.

Powerful, feared, respected.

A king, but without the rules, titles, and monarch.

The most powerful. And influential.

Although... This isn't quite how he expected it.

A crown sits on his vanity, like a child's drawing magnetized to the fridge.

That crown.

The roach crown.

Crooked, gum stuck on sticks, leaves carefully positioned behind preserved dead roaches, a sewing needle still sticking out from the left side. Arranged by manic devotion.

It was ridiculous.

Adorable.

Absurd.

Repulsive.

Undignified.

Disgusting.

...

It was his.

And he had gone back into a collapsed hotel to retrieve it.

erinwantstowrite

i think it would be fun to start combining aus for fics that i don't see too often. my next Peter Parker in Gotham fic is gonna be Peter dealing with the Bats who are in a wing au universe and Peter is trying to figure out social cues and shit (already on hard mode because he is autistic) and he keeps getting them wrong. he doesn't realize that he accidentally implied he lost his wings somehow and now all the Bats are internally freaking out thinking some Trauma happened and he's being seriously chill about it

#peter parker #peter parker in gotham #wing au #batfam #just in general i think it'd be funny #the more research i do about birds the more i want to cave in to that urge

nyandarin

Dick: look dami, think of tim like... remember how a few months ago you rescued this injured opossum? try to think of tim like that opossum

Damian: you mean the one that we found in the garbage bin that had rabies, was malnourished and had to get his left hind leg amputated?

Jason: and was fucking ugly and stank

Dick: shut up jason yes! it was super cute, remember?

Damian: if you're trying to use my weakness for small abandoned ungainly animals against me—which is not a weakness—then you're wrong, for nothing about drake even remotely resembles a—

Tim: (digging through the kitchen's trash) has anyone seen my leftover muffins? they were only 2 weeks old, they were perfectly fine

Damian: stares at him in silence

Damian: starts to very subtly tear up

Jason: wheezes

#incorrect batfamily quotes #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #batfam headcanons

papayafromtv

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 41 (masterpost here)

*fighting noises, grunts and the shwing of metal*

Tim: so me and Robin cleared out our section; want us to head over to you two?

Dick: *harsh impact* *slight chuckle* uh, i don't think this'll take us too long, you guys are good to wait.

Bruce: they're not overly prepared for an attack, that's for sure.

Dick: man, you know you're shit when Batman starts taking the mick mid-fight, *gunshot* oi-!

Damian: so we're just waiting?

Dick: yeah, take a break, Triple-R!

Damian, mumbling: stupid fucking nickname.

Tim: yeah shut up Dick,

Bruce, tired: just because it aligns with an insult doesn't mean you can disregard the no-name rule with Nightwing.

Tim: *snort*

Dick: B, sniper on the balcony- *gunshot* ok never mind he's a shit shot you're good.

Damian: Red, we can do the thing.

Tim: oh- holy fuck you're right,

Damian: you- *already sounding amused* you first.

Tim: ok well don't laugh yet, i haven't even... *trails off*

*fabric shuffling*

Dick, slightly breathless: wait, what are you two doing?

Tim: shut up, we're playing a game. you said take a break.

*thud* *hiss of sympathy*

Bruce: boys, please, we can't keep playing games on patrol-,

Dick: -yeah B might cry.

Bruce: i will not- i'm not going to cry??? just-

Dick: 'sounds close to tears. what are you playing?

Bruce, hissing: Nightwing,

Dick, innocently: hm?

Tim: ok, i'm ready. turn around.

*a beat of silence*

Damian, sounding slightly confused: *garbled, muffled by water* mf 'us a 'ox. wh- *abrupt choke*

Tim: yeah so this is- *snicker* this is my whole thing, this is what i uh, brought...

Damian: *sharp nose exhale*

Tim: he doesn't know i have it.

Damian: *water splatter* *cough*

Tim: HA! YOU LAUGHED!

Damian: *coughing* i did- not laugh, there's a difference.

Tim, incredulous: i HEARD you!

Damian: no no, i spat out my water. there's nothing against that in the rules.

Tim: that's the whole point,

Damian: i didn't laugh, i coughed.

Tim: oh- *indignant* bullshit, you laughed you liar.

Dick: the hell are you two doing? Red??

Tim: it's just a stupid game we thought might be fun where we both sneak the most obscure items we can onto patrol. if you laugh you lose, which you did-

Damian: i'm not gonna laugh at the kettle Pennyworth got imported from London, Drake. don't be a sore loser.

Dick: you brought- how the fuck did you keep that hidden?

Tim: shut up Damian. just do yours, you won't beat me.

Damian, apathetic: uh-huh. drink then, coward.

Dick: well now i kinda wanna know what Robin has...

Bruce, teeth gritted: Nightwing, please focus.

*silence*

Damian: open your eyes.

Tim: *instant water spitting* *choking*

Damian: you fucking- you spat on me you ass,

Tim: *high-pitched* what the- WHAT THE FUCK- *delirious shocked laughter*

Damian: fucking- 'm all wet now,

Tim: *still laughing* holy mother of hell,

Damian: i win, bitch.

Tim: I'M GOING TO- *incredulous* ROBIN!?

Damian: yeah... um. but then i also didn't want to play favourites, so...

*fabric shuffling*

Tim: OH MY- *instant wheeze*

Dick: ok seriously what is going on over there? Red sounds like he's going through anaphylactic shock.

Tim: *audibly struggling to breath*

Damian, calmly: no it's fine.

Tim, through tears: how did you- how did you even decide this was an option...?!

Damian: i play to win.

*distant thomp of boots on concrete*

Jason, distant, through Tim and Damian's coms: hey kiddies, am i late to the party?

Jason, voice dropping three octaves: ok what the fuck is that.

Tim, panting: read the- *wheeze* read the engraving,

Jason: oh. my. god.

Jason: DAMIAN. DAMI- HOLY- *chokes* oh my- WHY DID YOU-

*ping*

Jason, clearer: Bruce come get your son, Bruce come- *wheezes* *through cackles* COME AND GET YOUR SON,

Bruce: ok what on earth is going on up there?

Jason: he's got- *high pitched, delirious* i don't understand- Damian why?

Tim, also crying from laughter: we were playing a game,

Jason: WHAT FUCKING GAME-

Bruce: RED HOOD. I NEED DETAILS.

Jason: he's got- oh my fuck- he's got your parents.

*silence, apart from Jason and Tim's breathy cackles*

Dick: wait what-? i don't understand.

Jason: the ashes- he's got the- he brought Thomas and Martha's ashes on patrol.

Dick: W H A T?

Bruce: ...excuse me?

Jason: *cackles* oh fuck- oh fuck my side hurts,

Tim: *sniffs* i think i cracked a rib.

Bruce: Robin. what are they talking about?

Damian, sombre: i'm sorry father. i thought the family reunion might boost morale.

Bruce: WHAT.

Tim, amidst desperate attempts at breath control: what were you gonna do if you dropped one?

Damian: i mean, ash is not hard to come by. i doubt father would notice.

Bruce: ROBIN LEAVE THEM ALONE, YOU ARE TAKING THEM BACK TO THE MANOR THIS INSTANT.

Damian: hold- hold on father, i hear the ashes whispering to me.

*a beat*

Damian: they want to know why you dropped out of medical school.

Tim and Jason: *loose their collective shit*

apatheticsunday

Manifesting Destiny

AKA "Danny knows about Bruce Wayne's little adoption habit, so he actively fights back by making digs at the older man's age. He doesn't realize he essentially adopted himself by calling Bruce 'grandpa'!" prompt idea!!

Okay, so 19-year-old Jazz moves to Gotham because Arkham has an psychiatrist internship that guarantees a job after graduation from Gotham-U. She takes a 12-13 year old Danny with because the "ghost attacks" (i.e., her parents are getting very obsessed with dissecting Phantom and it's genuinely worrying) are getting worse. Now Danny's in Gotham Prep... along with Damian Wayne.

They do not get along.

Damian stabs Danny with a pencil, Danny bites Damian so hard that he needs stitches, and the detentions only increase their bloodthirst because, "He started it!!" It comes to a head when Damian shoves Danny down the stairs (he wasn't really meaning to, he just pushed too hard), and Danny goes down hard. As in not-getting-back-up kind of hard. And Damian realizes he just killed a civilian. He's running through contingency plans, trying to figure out whether he can hide the body or if he should confess to Father, when the Fenton boy's broken neck... becomes un-broken?? And he sits up??

So, 13-year-old Damian makes a logical decision. Daniel Fenton is clearly his Arch Nemesis. He's undeniably a meta (perhaps with super-healing abilities?) so he can withstand Damian's too-enthusiastic violence. And Danny's like, this fucker just killed me. I'm going to beat his ass. Except Damian has a really high pain tolerance and is literally the heir to the League of Assassins. Long story short, Damian and Danny have "play dates" where they spend the entire time trying to kill/beat each other up. Jazz is just happy that Danny seems to have made a friend.

Bruce, on the other hand, takes one look at a scrawny, black-haired, blue-eyed kid who clearly has some childhood trauma, and mentally becomes Bat Dad. He tried to approach the subject once. Bruce carefully, tentatively asked, "Do you have a place to stay, son? We have plenty of rooms." To which Danny replied, "I'm not your son, I have a dad!! Why don't you go sit down before you break a hip, grandpa!!" (Tim choked on his tea, Damian nearly climbed across the table to strangle Danny, and Dick - who doesn't even live at the manor, he was just dropping off a case from Bludhaven PD - laughed so hard he cried.)

Except... Danny keeps coming over to the Wayne Manor (since Damian refuses to 'spar' at Jazz's one bedroom apartment, as it lacks a personal gymnasium). And Bruce is still kind, no matter how many times Danny makes fun of him for wearing bifocals or turtlenecks, or when he just straight up calls Bruce an old man. Plus, Damian's kind of mellowed out, too. He's teaching Danny actual sparring techniques, hand-to-hand combat, and explains different types of weapons/how to use them. Alfred brings the boys snacks. Occasionally Dick and Jason will visit for dinner, ruffling the boy's hair and joking about something or another. He's even introduced to Steph, Cass, and Barbara.

It dawns on Danny one evening, when Alfred is readying the car to take him back to his and Jazz's apartment. Bruce is scraping leftovers into a plastic container for Jazz to re-heat when he gets home and Danny's debating quietly with Damian about whether octopi are smarter than Superman. (Damian says yes, octopi are definitely smarter; he's seen Superman mutter to himself "lefty loosey, righty tighty" when trying to unscrew a water bottle cap.)

Then Bruce is handing Danny the leftovers, and Danny distractedly gives Bruce a side-hug, saying, "Thanks, grandpa."

Totally unironically. Danny's internal monologue is just what the fuck did I just say as Bruce slips him a $20 ("For a treat on the way home.") and escorts him to the front door. He thinks about it as Alfred drives him home. Thinks about it when he and Jazz curl up to watch a movie that night. Danny belatedly realizes that he's been unintentionally thinking of Bruce "Serial Adopter" Wayne as his grandfather??? For months now?? How could this happen??

Back at the Wayne Manor, Bruce is still in the kitchen, listening to Damian continue to debate Superman's intelligence while Tim scrolls on his work tablet. He'll probably take the kids, including the newest edition to the family, to the zoo this weekend.

#awwwww #this one’s actually really sweet #little does danny know that bruce is already a grandpa #so the “grandpa” insult isn't actually an insult #dick and babs are married with mar'i in this lol #batfam #dpxdc #danny fenton #dp x dc #dc x dp

carlizwall

Valentine's dance 💃

#radioapple #appleradio #lucifer morningstar #alastor #alastor x lucifer #lucifer x alastor #bambilu #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel alastor

log6

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

luulapants

Wait hold on what was that

placeholdername-1

my-dailydreams

dedkake

too much emphasis put on mutuals on this site.

ilu followers i never followed back. ilu people i follow who never followed me back. every post on here about mutuals applies to you too.

paininmyassachusetts

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

paininmyassachusetts

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can! ❤️❤️❤️

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria

Commissions I will NOT take:

👎 Kids (Teens are fine tho)

👎 Bystanders

👎 Other Hitmen

If you want to know why, message me, but otherwise no hate pls ✨

jelloapocalypse

hey guys, normally i try to keep drama off of my blog but this is really important. I just wanted to let you know that someone named WetWorkKing05 has been taking credit for MY kills over on redbloodle.com and is making money off of my hard work. When I messaged him directly he blocked me and threatened to kill ME >_> I’ve tried talking with the mods about getting his account taken down, but redbloodle has NO policy for this and they are no help at all. i don’t know what to do??

PLS signal boost if you can! And in the meantime, if you need somebody killed, do NOT hire WetWorkKing05! he is a THIEF!

jelloapocalypse

repeat after me:

MURDER 👏 THEFT 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 WORSE 👏 CRIME 👏 THAN 👏 REGULAR 👏 MURDER 👏

uncklerman

Credits to the murderer

vashito

“Why are your prices so high???? I could kill him myself for free! whatever, ur not even that good at murder anyway”

alertmode

Emergency Murder Slots available!

First Person - $450, additional bodies add $375 each

(Basically a steal still my normal rate is $650. Cmon guys it’s $200 off!)

Serious inquiries only. EXPOSURE IS NOT A CURRENCY!

klubbhead

Guys please support all these hardworking Individuals!

Good hitmen are hard to find so it’s up to us to raise awareness!!!!

slumberinggirl-deactivated20210

Omg I love this guy’s work! He’s new and not so well known in the hitman community, but he’s so amazing and is appreciate it if you guys have him some love ❤️❤️