life pro tip: if you happen to be considering purchasing an LG TV or monitor, you possibly want to pick something else! and if you have an LG monitor that has not been plugged into anything in a while, you might want to leave it that way!
if you already have an LG monitor or TV or intend to buy one, you probably want to watch this video and keep an eye on gamers nexus for updates (or anyone else covering the LG spying situation):
posted july 16 2026
LG is doing some bad things. how bad? well. here are some very brief bullet points. I am not an expert, gamers nexus is, see the video for more information than this:
LG monitors (brand new and years old, cheap and expensive) auto-install LG's own adware-spyware called LG Monitor App onto windows 10 and 11 computers. you plug in an LG monitor for video output and this gets installed automatically. no hitting OK, no confirmation, no toggles, NOTHING.
the auto-installed LG Monitor App auto-grants itself access to your internet connection and ALL computer resources. the LG Monitor App has the ability to collect: geolocation data, device data, personal information, online activity data, contact data, and more!
...and it shows pop-up ads! because fuck you
on some affected versions of windows, auto-installed shitware like the LG Monitor App can be prevented by navigating to gpedit.msc -> computer configuration -> administrative templates -> system -> device installation -> prevent automatic download of applications associated with metadata
...but, if your LG monitor already installed the LG Monitor App, this is like closing the barn door after the horse got out. and that horse has the logs of everything you were doing on your computer! someone stop that fucking horse!!!
unrelated to the LG Monitor App, many LG TV owners are now required to tell all household members and guests that their LG TV is recording and processing ALL nearby voices. or else they may be in violation of local eavesdropping and wiretapping laws. for owning a fucking LG TV.
plus, how many businesses, workplaces, public spaces use LG TVs?
allegedly the microphone spying can be turned off by disabling microphone features, but LG has been caught disregarding opt-out settings before.
LG TVs can record everything that happens on the TV, including the video output of connected devices like phones, computers, gaming consoles, anything that happens on the TV screen.
LG was sued for their spying, and as a result of that spying suit, now shows pop-ups saying oops! they got caught spying and intend to continue spying. thanks for buying LG!
as of when the video was posted, there was no list of every spying LG monitor or TV. but this stuff is getting rolled out to more and more LG devices, including those purchased years ago.
and that is the shortest summary I can make of this situation without just summarizing more of the gamers nexus video.
Update: We are working on a follow-up to the LG story and have some disturbing findings re: LG's products. It will take us a while to parse
⬆️posted july 23 2026
gamers nexus is fairly respected in technology journalism. they fly around the world investigating companies that fuck people over and have pressured major companies to make major changes over the years.
so for gamers nexus to say that this LG spying situation is both unprecedented in how uniquely bad it is in this era of spying, and that it gets even worse than their video where they already say to stop buying and using LG products while recanting every prior recommendation for LG products?
Based off of @saphushia art found here. . I just loved the idea of Tucker not knowing his skill level because he grew up in the boonies
Tucker gets scouted by Wayne Enterprises after he fixes a kid's computer game while in Gotham visiting Danny.
See, Tucker always known he is passable at tech- one has to be when a technology theme ghost is consistently harassing one's best friend- but to be good at something in a small town like Amity Park didn't mean much .
It's a big fish in a small pound sort of deal. That's why he's never put much thought into it. If Tucker were ever to rank himself in terms of school grades, he would say his computer skills were about a C-.
B+ if it was just coding.
His parents also don't think much of his obsession with his PDA or phones. They thought he waste too many hours on them like the rest of his generation.
It didn't matter that Tucker's technology was about five or more years behind his classmates.
The Foley were hard-working people who barely scraped enough for bills. They were never below the property line, but they danced on it often enough that Tucker knew never to ask for unnecessary purchases.
For as long as he could remember, his parents have always worked long and hard hours. He never blamed them for missing so much of his childhood, in fact he was grateful that they worked so hard to keep the roof over his head, but he did miss them.
That's why Danny's house became a haven for him. He was always at the Fenton's place because the loud, wacky family was much better company than the home silence.
Tucker knew that his family's financial situation didn't change how Danny or Sam viewed him. They had his back through tick and thin just as he did for them, but as they got closer to graduation the difference between them became jarring.
Sam had easy picking of what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go. Her parents were so overjoyed that she wanted to go to a university that they didn't even argue about her wishing to major in botanical biochemistry.
She had started house hunting in Star City midway through senior year. Her parents would gift it to her as a graduation present. Sam would live there for the next eight years to finish her degree.
Danny's parents, while somewhat eccentric, were also certified geniuses. Between the two of them, they had five PHDs and were often freelancing for companies when not doing ghost research. They too could send their two kids to college States away with housing not being a issue.
Jazz went to Metropolis to study Physiology. She lived in a small apartment but was doing well off her scholarships and parent's funding. Last he heard, she had a part-time job at the Daily Planet as a research assistant to gain some independence.
Danny wanted to go to Gotham for their engineering program. He, too, had an apartment of his own, with scholarships and equal funding from his parents. He also worked at Wayne Enterprises, but he was a receptionist. He hoped that once he graduated, he could apply for their engineering program
Not Tucker. His family could only help him get into Community College near Amity. He also couldn't afford to move out so he stayed with them, picking up a part time job to help out when he could.
Tucker is a first-generation college student so even though it wasn't much, he loved to see how his parents glowed when telling others their boy was futhering his education. He wanted to do something that paid well- and after years of patching up Danny- he figured nursing would do the trick.
Tucker would do all his basics in the community College, take a break to save up some money and then move on to the bigger schools.
The day of the graduation felt bittersweet. Team Phantom was finally adults, finally starting out in the real world, but while Danny and Sam moved on to bigger and better things, Tucker knew he would be left behind in little no-where Amity Park.
He never brought it up, but he felt a small dosage of envy the last day of summer before his friends finished packing and left.
Despite both being gone, Tucker had little to no social life even though they called, texted, and emailed often. His days blurred between class, work, and home. Even then, classes were long and tedious, work often ending with one or more customers screaming in his face to try and get free food.
His parents quickly started to nag that he should find a wife as they had married young. They couldn't figure out why he didn't want the same, even though he had no social life again.
Life became dull.
Tucker's only sparks of joy were playing online with Danny and Sam - when they found the time to log in or re-coding his old tech to try and salvage it whenever it broke down.
Soon, it became apparent that Tucker was slowly lacking motivation when he started skipping classes to sleep in and started feeling anxious when he needed to clock in for shifts.
It leads to him barely getting out of bed.
He felt horrible about it, thinking his parents sacrificed so much for him only to have him throw away the opportunities they gave him, and the cycle of not being able to get out of bed would start all over again.
It was Danny who caught on, and all but begged Tucker to come to Gotham for a weekend. He even sent money over for the plane ticket.
Tucker couldn't have gotten on that plane fast enough. He arrived early on Friday since the tickets were cheaper- and Uber over to WE headquarters to pick up Danny's keys as they agreed.
That way, Tucker could sleep and rest in the apartment while Danny worked.
Danny would finish his shift and have the weekend plus Monday and Tuesday off to spend with Tucker. When he arrived, Danny was helping a school check in for a field trip, so Tucker sat down to wait.
Next to him, a kid was growling at his laptop, frankly typing and moving his fingers over the computer's touch mouse. Tucker accidentally glimpsed his screen when the kid started swearing in a different language.
It looked like a shooting game but his lag was bad. By the time the boy pressed the buttons to have his little drone move the other flying things he was chasing were flipping though the air and out of his shooting rage.
It sucked when that happened, and since he was using WE free wifi for guests, it was probably the game. The graphics were badass, though. Seemed almost real.
"Hey try updating the system" He tells the kid after seeing the boy once again lag so bad he missed his shot.
Green eyes swing to him drenched in rage. Which yeah, Tucker knows how frustrating that could be.
"Did I ask for your help!?" The boy snaps, his words lined with an upper-class accent. Made sense since he was wearing a Gotham Academy uniform like the rest of the large school group. "Why are you even looking this way, peasant?"
"No, sorry. I just noticed the lag." Tucker raised his hand, slightly amused at the peasant insult. "I thought I could fix it for you."
The boy's face spams, "You believe you have the ability?"
"Ugh sure? I can try?"
"Here. Be quick. The fate of this city's air defenses depend on it" the boy turns his lap top to him and Tucker blinks.
Okay. So fix the game. He can do that.
And he does, quickly opening the code, analyzing the control and commands , he gets it running properly in less then twenty minutes. The boy seems utterly shock but he quickly takes control of the game and shoots down all the escaping ninjas from the sky.
"Thank you." The boy says with no more tense in his shoulders. Then he closes his laptop and dissappears with the crowd of students.
Tucker thought the kid was a cute.
Danny hands him the keys not long after and he leaves.
Never was he aware of the Boy being Damian Wayne and that the game was not a game but a actual defensive drone system that was fighting off the League of Assassins.
He only finds out how important those two facts are when Danny gets a call from Tim Drake asking if he could pass along Tucker's information because the CEO wanted him on staff as soon as possible..
Both nineteen-year-olds lost their minds after getting the call, screaming at each other in ghost shrieks of glee. They called Sam to let her know- and have her lawyers look over the contact Tim Drake sent just to make sure it wasn't a big-time company trying to screw him over.
He went to an interview three days later. He faced Tim Drake, the current seventeen-year-old CEO, Leo Noir, the current head of HR, and Jessica War, the current head of computer services. They asked him many questions about himself- some of which he felt he had answered terribly- then had him take a computer test.
Tucker thought it was busy work, so he quickly breezed through it. He fixed the problem in many of the coding for various programs, adding his flare to the final product, and after thanking them for their time, went out into the lobby.
He hadn't even reached the door before Jesssica ran after him, offering him the job. Apparently, the first two problems they had him do was the busy work. Tucker had thought they were the ones to let him get comfortable with the coding program.
Like a tutorial in video games.
The other seven were actual issues; many of their latest cellphone products failed. Tucker had solved them in an hour, which had taken the actual team of coders about a month.
"Nitey one dollar and thirty-five cents an hour," Tim tells him tapping the hiring contact. "It would be eighty hours every paycheck. You can work here or at home. Full Benefits. What do you say?"
Tucker's jaw drops. "When do I start!?"
He calls his parents to tell them he will be staying in Gotham with Danny. He tries to explain what had happened but it was all so fast that he can only babble about certain parts.
They tell him not to worry about explaining because they understand how much this means to him.
His parents help pack everything for him and when he flies back for it they, offer him hugs and support. Tucker is so glad they aren't mad.
"I sort of knew it was coming," His dad laughs. "You and that Fenton boy have always been inseparable."
"I did the same thing, you know," His mom says, wiping tears from her eyes but smiling all the same. "I moved with your father states away with little to no plan when I turned twenty too. Drove your grandfather mad."
He loves them both so much. He promises to send money- disregarding their denials- and flies back to Gotham, where Danny has opened his apartment until he gets enough for his own place.
He plans on renting a house with three bedrooms, one for him, one for his office, and another for Danny, as soon as he can. He wants to pay his friend back for everything he did and Danny deserves a bigger living space.
And for once, he'll not have to worry about money!
For once, life is looking up!
(What Tucker is unaware of, is that his parents think he moved to the big city to be with his childhood best friend turned recent lover. They don't know that the money he is sending home is from his own payroll and not Danny's. They think he's a stay-at-home husband.
Tucker is also unaware that the Bats are closely watching him in case he goes rogue. They have been slowly "causally" running into him in the city and breaking into his place to check for supervillain activity.)
Once Tucker passes all of their background checks. Runs through the paranoia gauntlet? Which is going to take a few months. Of Tucker genuinely just having a good time at work. Not causing any trouble. You can get Tim or Babs are going to instigate a non Bat hack war. Just to see how good he actually is. And see what he does with the carefully curated information they left as a prize on the computers they are using.
Meanwhile Tucker finally explains how his new job is going to his parents. Who have no idea what he's on about. Who then promptly ring Danny. Because, Danny what job has Tucker taken up? We thought he was just moving in with his boyfriend?
Cue incoherent sputtering. Danny is in a panic he had nO IDEA THEY WERE DATING HE'S A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND 😭
and Kool-Aid-Mans through the nearest wall to go buy his boyfriend a decorative kebab arrangement. Like the cut fruit arrangements, but all meat. Hopefully Tucker would forgive him for this.
This is going to give the currently watching Bat the best sitcom nonsense moment.
Danny rushing into their place with fancy meat arrangement. Shoving it at a visibly confused Tucker. "I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend!". Followed by an even more confused Tucker. "Why do you think you're a bad boyfriend? Wait, when did we start dating?!?".
The two very smart bois then slowly figuring it out. And realising Tucker didn't manage to convey his news to his parents. They thought he moved in cause they were dating.... Shit, how do they break the news to them?!
Danny:... I am 100% willing to marry you so we don't upset your Mom and Dad.
Tucker: Oh thank fuck! Ok! Ring shopping next week?
Danny: Sounds good to me. Should we try to make it a real deal?
Tucker:.... I mean? We do love each other? May as well slip the 'no homo'.
Danny: Dork! Ok. We got this. Now we never, ever admit to this.
Tucker: What's one more secret?
Bat watching them plot to get married so they don't disappoint the Foley seniors. Welp, now we got blackmail. You watched that O? Good good!
Sure they all love each other, it's just that the limits between the type of love between each other got super blurry and they don't really care about giving it a name at that point, is it romantic? Is it platonic? Is it both? Is it some secret third thing?
THEY DON'T KNOW AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS.
They're each others' idiots and that's all that matters to them.
Tucker: If I'm in a dress? It better be gold. Or at least with gold details. You know white makes me look sickly.
Sam: Oh I know.
Danny:... Why is mine a mini dress with sheer lace over the top?
Tucker: It is? Actually, you would look great in that.
Danny: My sister's are going to be there. It better reach at least mid thigh!
Sam:.... Only if you agree to *super sexy nightwear* for the honeymoon!
Danny: Deal. Oh sweet, you chose full Morticia for your on outfit!
Sam: Of course!
Steph: Guys! We got another one to check!
Babs:... She's in college elsewhere right now. But will likely move to her boys after she finishes. Heavy into activism. Minor charges for uh, disrupting the peace.
Tim: So, a genius hacker, a genius of inventor, and an eco activist?
The Everlasting Trio becoming the Batfam's favorite sitcom/soap opera is kind of hilarious.
I'm imagining that somewhere along the way Dick calls up one of his friends to gush about some new development. Whichever friend he calls is like "what show is this? It sounds wild." Then Dick goes quiet as he suddenly remembers that surveillance as entertainment is not normal. He now has to create some kind of media with a storyline close enough to fit what he said but not so close that it's recognizable as a transcription of these people's lives. He needs help from a master bullshitter who understands creating an entire thing just to avoid an awkward situation. Tim's cellphone rings.
Meanwhile, one of the Bats has noticed that these people sometimes say really weird things.
Danny: I guess, technically, I am haunting you.
Danny: *mischievous grin* *wiggles fingers*
Danny: Ooooooooh I'm haunting you.
Tucker: quit it.
Danny: What, haunting you?
Tucker: No, wiggling your fingers in my face. You're free to haunt us for all eternity babe. *cheezy smile and finger guns*
Danny: *blushes like a tomato* *big, sparkly eyes*
Sam: Aw, he's so cute when running on ghostly instincts.
Meanwhile, on surveillance duty for the night
Jason: *whispers* Why the fuck do I want someone to say that to me?
Sam, Tucker and Danny don't even know whats happening anymore, but they just roll with it cause why not.
Why stress over dumb things like specifics and logistics when you can just... let it happen? It's not like it's hurting anyone, and now they all get to be together again!!! (codependency go brrr)
Based off of @saphushia art found here. . I just loved the idea of Tucker not knowing his skill level because he grew up in the boonies
Tucker gets scouted by Wayne Enterprises after he fixes a kid's computer game while in Gotham visiting Danny.
See, Tucker always known he is passable at tech- one has to be when a technology theme ghost is consistently harassing one's best friend- but to be good at something in a small town like Amity Park didn't mean much .
It's a big fish in a small pound sort of deal. That's why he's never put much thought into it. If Tucker were ever to rank himself in terms of school grades, he would say his computer skills were about a C-.
B+ if it was just coding.
His parents also don't think much of his obsession with his PDA or phones. They thought he waste too many hours on them like the rest of his generation.
It didn't matter that Tucker's technology was about five or more years behind his classmates.
The Foley were hard-working people who barely scraped enough for bills. They were never below the property line, but they danced on it often enough that Tucker knew never to ask for unnecessary purchases.
For as long as he could remember, his parents have always worked long and hard hours. He never blamed them for missing so much of his childhood, in fact he was grateful that they worked so hard to keep the roof over his head, but he did miss them.
That's why Danny's house became a haven for him. He was always at the Fenton's place because the loud, wacky family was much better company than the home silence.
Tucker knew that his family's financial situation didn't change how Danny or Sam viewed him. They had his back through tick and thin just as he did for them, but as they got closer to graduation the difference between them became jarring.
Sam had easy picking of what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go. Her parents were so overjoyed that she wanted to go to a university that they didn't even argue about her wishing to major in botanical biochemistry.
She had started house hunting in Star City midway through senior year. Her parents would gift it to her as a graduation present. Sam would live there for the next eight years to finish her degree.
Danny's parents, while somewhat eccentric, were also certified geniuses. Between the two of them, they had five PHDs and were often freelancing for companies when not doing ghost research. They too could send their two kids to college States away with housing not being a issue.
Jazz went to Metropolis to study Physiology. She lived in a small apartment but was doing well off her scholarships and parent's funding. Last he heard, she had a part-time job at the Daily Planet as a research assistant to gain some independence.
Danny wanted to go to Gotham for their engineering program. He, too, had an apartment of his own, with scholarships and equal funding from his parents. He also worked at Wayne Enterprises, but he was a receptionist. He hoped that once he graduated, he could apply for their engineering program
Not Tucker. His family could only help him get into Community College near Amity. He also couldn't afford to move out so he stayed with them, picking up a part time job to help out when he could.
Tucker is a first-generation college student so even though it wasn't much, he loved to see how his parents glowed when telling others their boy was futhering his education. He wanted to do something that paid well- and after years of patching up Danny- he figured nursing would do the trick.
Tucker would do all his basics in the community College, take a break to save up some money and then move on to the bigger schools.
The day of the graduation felt bittersweet. Team Phantom was finally adults, finally starting out in the real world, but while Danny and Sam moved on to bigger and better things, Tucker knew he would be left behind in little no-where Amity Park.
He never brought it up, but he felt a small dosage of envy the last day of summer before his friends finished packing and left.
Despite both being gone, Tucker had little to no social life even though they called, texted, and emailed often. His days blurred between class, work, and home. Even then, classes were long and tedious, work often ending with one or more customers screaming in his face to try and get free food.
His parents quickly started to nag that he should find a wife as they had married young. They couldn't figure out why he didn't want the same, even though he had no social life again.
Life became dull.
Tucker's only sparks of joy were playing online with Danny and Sam - when they found the time to log in or re-coding his old tech to try and salvage it whenever it broke down.
Soon, it became apparent that Tucker was slowly lacking motivation when he started skipping classes to sleep in and started feeling anxious when he needed to clock in for shifts.
It leads to him barely getting out of bed.
He felt horrible about it, thinking his parents sacrificed so much for him only to have him throw away the opportunities they gave him, and the cycle of not being able to get out of bed would start all over again.
It was Danny who caught on, and all but begged Tucker to come to Gotham for a weekend. He even sent money over for the plane ticket.
Tucker couldn't have gotten on that plane fast enough. He arrived early on Friday since the tickets were cheaper- and Uber over to WE headquarters to pick up Danny's keys as they agreed.
That way, Tucker could sleep and rest in the apartment while Danny worked.
Danny would finish his shift and have the weekend plus Monday and Tuesday off to spend with Tucker. When he arrived, Danny was helping a school check in for a field trip, so Tucker sat down to wait.
Next to him, a kid was growling at his laptop, frankly typing and moving his fingers over the computer's touch mouse. Tucker accidentally glimpsed his screen when the kid started swearing in a different language.
It looked like a shooting game but his lag was bad. By the time the boy pressed the buttons to have his little drone move the other flying things he was chasing were flipping though the air and out of his shooting rage.
It sucked when that happened, and since he was using WE free wifi for guests, it was probably the game. The graphics were badass, though. Seemed almost real.
"Hey try updating the system" He tells the kid after seeing the boy once again lag so bad he missed his shot.
Green eyes swing to him drenched in rage. Which yeah, Tucker knows how frustrating that could be.
"Did I ask for your help!?" The boy snaps, his words lined with an upper-class accent. Made sense since he was wearing a Gotham Academy uniform like the rest of the large school group. "Why are you even looking this way, peasant?"
"No, sorry. I just noticed the lag." Tucker raised his hand, slightly amused at the peasant insult. "I thought I could fix it for you."
The boy's face spams, "You believe you have the ability?"
"Ugh sure? I can try?"
"Here. Be quick. The fate of this city's air defenses depend on it" the boy turns his lap top to him and Tucker blinks.
Okay. So fix the game. He can do that.
And he does, quickly opening the code, analyzing the control and commands , he gets it running properly in less then twenty minutes. The boy seems utterly shock but he quickly takes control of the game and shoots down all the escaping ninjas from the sky.
"Thank you." The boy says with no more tense in his shoulders. Then he closes his laptop and dissappears with the crowd of students.
Tucker thought the kid was a cute.
Danny hands him the keys not long after and he leaves.
Never was he aware of the Boy being Damian Wayne and that the game was not a game but a actual defensive drone system that was fighting off the League of Assassins.
He only finds out how important those two facts are when Danny gets a call from Tim Drake asking if he could pass along Tucker's information because the CEO wanted him on staff as soon as possible..
Both nineteen-year-olds lost their minds after getting the call, screaming at each other in ghost shrieks of glee. They called Sam to let her know- and have her lawyers look over the contact Tim Drake sent just to make sure it wasn't a big-time company trying to screw him over.
He went to an interview three days later. He faced Tim Drake, the current seventeen-year-old CEO, Leo Noir, the current head of HR, and Jessica War, the current head of computer services. They asked him many questions about himself- some of which he felt he had answered terribly- then had him take a computer test.
Tucker thought it was busy work, so he quickly breezed through it. He fixed the problem in many of the coding for various programs, adding his flare to the final product, and after thanking them for their time, went out into the lobby.
He hadn't even reached the door before Jesssica ran after him, offering him the job. Apparently, the first two problems they had him do was the busy work. Tucker had thought they were the ones to let him get comfortable with the coding program.
Like a tutorial in video games.
The other seven were actual issues; many of their latest cellphone products failed. Tucker had solved them in an hour, which had taken the actual team of coders about a month.
"Nitey one dollar and thirty-five cents an hour," Tim tells him tapping the hiring contact. "It would be eighty hours every paycheck. You can work here or at home. Full Benefits. What do you say?"
Tucker's jaw drops. "When do I start!?"
He calls his parents to tell them he will be staying in Gotham with Danny. He tries to explain what had happened but it was all so fast that he can only babble about certain parts.
They tell him not to worry about explaining because they understand how much this means to him.
His parents help pack everything for him and when he flies back for it they, offer him hugs and support. Tucker is so glad they aren't mad.
"I sort of knew it was coming," His dad laughs. "You and that Fenton boy have always been inseparable."
"I did the same thing, you know," His mom says, wiping tears from her eyes but smiling all the same. "I moved with your father states away with little to no plan when I turned twenty too. Drove your grandfather mad."
He loves them both so much. He promises to send money- disregarding their denials- and flies back to Gotham, where Danny has opened his apartment until he gets enough for his own place.
He plans on renting a house with three bedrooms, one for him, one for his office, and another for Danny, as soon as he can. He wants to pay his friend back for everything he did and Danny deserves a bigger living space.
And for once, he'll not have to worry about money!
For once, life is looking up!
(What Tucker is unaware of, is that his parents think he moved to the big city to be with his childhood best friend turned recent lover. They don't know that the money he is sending home is from his own payroll and not Danny's. They think he's a stay-at-home husband.
Tucker is also unaware that the Bats are closely watching him in case he goes rogue. They have been slowly "causally" running into him in the city and breaking into his place to check for supervillain activity.)
Once Tucker passes all of their background checks. Runs through the paranoia gauntlet? Which is going to take a few months. Of Tucker genuinely just having a good time at work. Not causing any trouble. You can get Tim or Babs are going to instigate a non Bat hack war. Just to see how good he actually is. And see what he does with the carefully curated information they left as a prize on the computers they are using.
Meanwhile Tucker finally explains how his new job is going to his parents. Who have no idea what he's on about. Who then promptly ring Danny. Because, Danny what job has Tucker taken up? We thought he was just moving in with his boyfriend?
Cue incoherent sputtering. Danny is in a panic he had nO IDEA THEY WERE DATING HE'S A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND 😭
and Kool-Aid-Mans through the nearest wall to go buy his boyfriend a decorative kebab arrangement. Like the cut fruit arrangements, but all meat. Hopefully Tucker would forgive him for this.
This is going to give the currently watching Bat the best sitcom nonsense moment.
Danny rushing into their place with fancy meat arrangement. Shoving it at a visibly confused Tucker. "I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend!". Followed by an even more confused Tucker. "Why do you think you're a bad boyfriend? Wait, when did we start dating?!?".
The two very smart bois then slowly figuring it out. And realising Tucker didn't manage to convey his news to his parents. They thought he moved in cause they were dating.... Shit, how do they break the news to them?!
Danny:... I am 100% willing to marry you so we don't upset your Mom and Dad.
Tucker: Oh thank fuck! Ok! Ring shopping next week?
Danny: Sounds good to me. Should we try to make it a real deal?
Tucker:.... I mean? We do love each other? May as well slip the 'no homo'.
Danny: Dork! Ok. We got this. Now we never, ever admit to this.
Tucker: What's one more secret?
Bat watching them plot to get married so they don't disappoint the Foley seniors. Welp, now we got blackmail. You watched that O? Good good!
Sure they all love each other, it's just that the limits between the type of love between each other got super blurry and they don't really care about giving it a name at that point, is it romantic? Is it platonic? Is it both? Is it some secret third thing?
THEY DON'T KNOW AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS.
They're each others' idiots and that's all that matters to them.
Tucker: If I'm in a dress? It better be gold. Or at least with gold details. You know white makes me look sickly.
Sam: Oh I know.
Danny:... Why is mine a mini dress with sheer lace over the top?
Tucker: It is? Actually, you would look great in that.
Danny: My sister's are going to be there. It better reach at least mid thigh!
Sam:.... Only if you agree to *super sexy nightwear* for the honeymoon!
Danny: Deal. Oh sweet, you chose full Morticia for your on outfit!
Sam: Of course!
Steph: Guys! We got another one to check!
Babs:... She's in college elsewhere right now. But will likely move to her boys after she finishes. Heavy into activism. Minor charges for uh, disrupting the peace.
Tim: So, a genius hacker, a genius of inventor, and an eco activist?
The Everlasting Trio becoming the Batfam's favorite sitcom/soap opera is kind of hilarious.
I'm imagining that somewhere along the way Dick calls up one of his friends to gush about some new development. Whichever friend he calls is like "what show is this? It sounds wild." Then Dick goes quiet as he suddenly remembers that surveillance as entertainment is not normal. He now has to create some kind of media with a storyline close enough to fit what he said but not so close that it's recognizable as a transcription of these people's lives. He needs help from a master bullshitter who understands creating an entire thing just to avoid an awkward situation. Tim's cellphone rings.
Meanwhile, one of the Bats has noticed that these people sometimes say really weird things.
Danny: I guess, technically, I am haunting you.
Danny: *mischievous grin* *wiggles fingers*
Danny: Ooooooooh I'm haunting you.
Tucker: quit it.
Danny: What, haunting you?
Tucker: No, wiggling your fingers in my face. You're free to haunt us for all eternity babe. *cheezy smile and finger guns*
Danny: *blushes like a tomato* *big, sparkly eyes*
Sam: Aw, he's so cute when running on ghostly instincts.
Meanwhile, on surveillance duty for the night
Jason: *whispers* Why the fuck do I want someone to say that to me?
Sam, Tucker and Danny don't even know whats happening anymore, but they just roll with it cause why not.
Why stress over dumb things like specifics and logistics when you can just... let it happen? It's not like it's hurting anyone, and now they all get to be together again!!! (codependency go brrr)
Now you see, I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that this square of the carpet is on a separate animation cell from the background & therefore something funky will happen if I step on it. You won’t catch me making a rookie mistake like that no sir!
Danny: *minding his buisness in the mall, and sipping on a cup of ectoplasm*
M'ari, walks up to him curiously: What are you drinking?
Danny, taken off gaurd by the random child: Uhh...
M'ari: Because it kinda looks like Uncle Jason's blood. Are you a vampire?
Danny: Yes.
M'ari: Oh. Did you get permission to drink that blood? If not that means you're a bad guy.
Danny: I got permission, only weird fruitloops don't get permission.
M'ari, nods seriously: That's good, cause then I'd have had to beat you up. And I like your star hoodie, and I wouldn't want to accidentally ruin it.
Danny: You a hero then?
M'ari: No, Daddy and Mommy are heros though, and that means I'll be a hero one day too.
Danny: Got your whole life figured out huh kid?
M'ari: *proudly nods*
Danny: So where are-
M'ari: Is your skin sparkly because you're a vampire?
Danny: Sparkly?
M'ari: Yeah! It looks like snow when its in the morning and its all glittery.
Danny, snorts: No thats because I have use ice powers.
M'ari: Really?!
Danny: *crouches down and puts his drink down. He holds out his palm, and it starts glowing blue before a glittering blue ice sculpture in the shape if a star materializes in his hand, followed by small ice droplets that turned it into a necklace.*
M'ari: Pretty!
Danny: Tell ya what, you tell me how to contact your parents to come get you, and you can have it.
M'ari: I know Daddy's phone number!
Danny: That'll work.
*one phone call with a panicked father later*
Dick: M'ari!
M'ari: Hi Daddy! Look the Mall Vampire made me a necklace! Hey will it melt?
Danny: Not unless I will it to kid.
Dick: You scared the stars out of me Princess! I turned around and you were just gone! You can't do that!
M'ari: But I was bored, and you walk away from Uncle Tim when you're bored.
Dick: Ah well thats different-
Danny: *snorts but tries to cover it by taking a sip of his drink*
Dick: Thank you for holding her attention long enough to contact me.
M'ari: The Mall Vampire is cool! He knows more about the stars and planets than Mommy does.
Dick: Mall Vampire?
Danny: *smiles at him, showing off his sharper canines*
Dick, pales: Right! Well Granpa is waiting for us M'ari! Thanks for the help sir, goodbye.
M'ari: By Mr. Mall Vampire. *waves excitedly over Dick's back*
Danny: *lazily waves back*
Bonus
???: Sorry I'm late I was- why do you have that look on your face?
Danny: What look?
???: The look that means "I know something others don't know and its going to be hilarious".
Danny: Its nothing bad, just had an interesting conversation with a really eccentric kid is all. It was funny, in hindsight.
???: Uhuh, sure. *squints suspiciously at him*
Danny: Anyway, forget about that, let's get the supplies I need before we go to dinner.
*3 Hours Later*
Tim: Why is M'ari running around talking about a Mall Vampire?
Kori: Dick lost her in the mall earlier today, and the person who found her was humoring her questions.
Tim: And Dick is freaking out because...?
Kori, huffing: The man was "extremely pale with glittery skin and dark hair" and he just happened to have sharp teeth, so Dick's freaking out about it.
Tim: Seriously?
Kori, fondly: Honestly, that man.
Barbra: Hey guys, sorry for arrivaving late, it took a while to find the right paint-
M'ari, squeals: Mall Vampire!
Danny: Hey kid.
Barbra: What?
Danny: This is the eccentric kid I told you about.
Barbra: Oh. Well uh, this is Danny, the cousin I told you abour. He's only in Gotham for a few months for a few art shows hes particpating in, so he's going to be staying with me.
Dick, paling: What?
Danny: Sorry for any inconvenience I might cause, but I look forward to getting to know you all. *smiles 'innocently', showing off his sharp teeth once more*
Danny Fenton drops out of school on his sister's recommendation to aim for a GED. Then two weeks after he does receive his high school equivalence document, Danny and his sister Jasmine pack up and move to Gotham, where they promptly open their own business. A small hobby store that's during rather well for itself, especially with offered classes to learn said hobbies.
The instructors of the classes are all a rather colorful bunch that don't seem from Gotham but aren't bad like outsiders usually are.
The siblings continue their education through online courses and attend Gotham University. Jasmine studying psychology and Danny studying engineering.
They don't seem like up-and-coming villains who may be behind the strange changes in the city. Nothing terrible has happened so far but that's just it. Nothing has happened, and if that doesn't make every citizen's skin crawl, nothing else will.
It's like the core of Gotham is breaking away, and no one knows what it is or if it's a good thing.
Tim Drake, disguised as Alvin Draper, signed up for the offered Photography class to prove they were and stop them before it's too late.
Danny and Jazz are aware there is something strange about Alvin Draper.
Still, they have thier hands tied, prepping Danny to take the Ghost Throne, keeping up with college, trying to fix a crumbled relationship with their parents after the Big Reveal, and keeping all of Danny's ex-Rouges satisfying their obsessions by having them express it through a hobby.
Ember teaches guitar on Mondays.
Technus does coding an hour before her.
Lunch lady has a cooking lesson on Tuesday.
Poindexter does miniature models on Wednesdays.
Kitty got Photography and modeling on Thursdays.
Johnny, who is never too far away from her, runs his crocheting class at the same time.
And Ghost Writer does creative writing on Fridays.
Saturdays is a surprise course by whichever ghost is free that week, and Sundays they are closed.
They just can't find the time or energy to figure out that guy's deal. Best to leave Alvin alone.
They hope to stay out of Batman's radar long enough to break all the curses Gotham is dosed in. It's one of Danny's first real jobs as Ghost King, so he's trying his best, but come on, this place is a mess.
Not to mention the people generally seemed unhappy to have the curses gone. Apparently it doesn't feel right or something.
(Johnny insists Alvin is just a bisexual disaster who has a crush on both of them but Johnny is also a bisexual disaster so the Fenton siblings don't listen to him.)
If Tim is going undercover with the photography class, it's only a matter of time before Kitty and Johnny have one of their inevitable fights and Tim ends up roped in because he's the best student in the class so he's prime possession-for-jealousy bait.
I'm going for maximum chaos, so here's what I've got. It starts with Johnny's comments about Tim having a crush, but he isn't showing any of the usual accompanying possessive jealousy; he's still *feeling* super jealous and possessive, but he's been working with Jazz on not acting on what he knows are essentially intrusive thoughts; Johnny knows Kitty loves him and *only* him at the end of the day, and at some point showing her he knows that has to include *acting* in a way that lines up with his implicit absolute trust in her. So it's incredibly hard for him, but he's taking a huge step here by actively and constantly ignoring the intrusive thoughts and instead choosing to act in ways which reflect his knowledge that Kitty chooses him.
Jazz is super proud of him, especially him coming to her for help when he needs advice on what a healthy response would be to a specific instance with Tim. He's been doing that a LOT, so the fact he's been able to keep setting aside his pride and jealousy, and to keep being vulnerable by exposing how unsure he is to her, Jazz is making it clear to Johnny that he's doing great.
But I promised chaos and all we have so far is fluff. Time to keep my promise >:-}
Jazz missed *one* kinda absolutely crucial detail, she's been helping*Johnny* to be healthier, *Kitty* is still as full of maladaptive coping mechanics as she ever was. She sees Johnny going to Jazz almost daily, and every time he goes in super stressed and unhappy, but comes out smiling and even glowing with gentle pride... yeah, something's up...
At first, Kitty jumps to him having a fling with Jazz, but too many things don't add up. Jazz would never do that to her, of that Kitty is completely sure. Not to mention, if Johny was cheating on her like that, he'd never look so *proud* about it every time he walked out; she knows her man has a wandering eye, but a major part of why she's always been able to forgive him is how clearly guilty he always felt about it. So this whole thing, none of it adds up, at least not until the stress of her confusion gets to her and she blows up at Johnny, and he insists that he's not doing anything with Jazz, she's just been helping him unpack all of his feelings that keep getting triggered by that Alvin (Tim) kid in Kitty's photography class.
Suddenly it all clicks for Kitty (or that's what she thinks anyway). The reason Johnny isn't acting his usual jealous self isn't because he doesn't care about her (true), he hasn't caught feelings for Jazz (also true), his stress followed by PRIDE... he's developed massive feelings for ALVIN! (And we've taken a turn of the highway of reality right onto a one-way road towards absolute-chaos-ville)
Kitty has not been working with Jazz on better coping mechanisms, or at least not as focused as Johny has been. Kitty is still a ball of maladaptive habits, ghostly obsessions, and ghostly abilities. Kitty is now panicking about the central object of her main obsession being carried away by his queer awakening; she always knew he was bi, and always worried on some level that she wouldn't be enough because of it, because that's the level of mental health they've both been stuck at for a very long time now, they're both ghostly teenagers without access to any psyche care besides spectra, they can be at least mostly excused.
Kitty falls back into old habits. She'll keep her man however she can. So she decides to possess the problem herself...
It has been three days since she possessed the man she now knows is named Tim. The league of assassins is currently on both fire, and Mars. Tim is no longer possessed, but he is currently on the couch making out with Superboy (Kon, just to be clear) who is possessed because the three of them thought it would be fun to try. Her and Johnny have had a long talk and cleared things up, and she's going to start visiting Jazz on the regular. For now though, she needs to help clean up the mess she made. Normally she'd start by helping move the Watchtower out of the ghost zone, but it being so close to Phantom's Keep is really helping speed up the talks between the UN and Danny's ruling council, so maybe she'll start by bringing back the batcave instead.
At least she got a cool red robin motorcycle out of all of this... and her relationship with Johnny will end up stronger (and a lot healthier) than ever before once all is said and done
*baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws*
AU where Jason decides to embrace being an Al Ghul after coming out the pit and rather than going back to Gotham, he just establishes the Red Hood as an Outlaw and LOA worker and moves on from his life as a bat. his life only crosses over with the Waynes again about a year or so after Damian’s settled into the manor, when the family are interrupted one evening by a masked teenager banging on the door, pushing his way inside when Dick opens it, and hurriedly telling Damian, “I need an alibi so mom doesn’t kill me. When she calls, you and Bruce need to tell her i’ve been visiting you in Gotham all weekend.”
baffled, everybody else watches as Damian looks up from his book in a bewildered fashion, gradually turns from confused to sceptical, and asks, “…Why, what’d you do?”
“I may have accidentally blown up another helicopter.”
Damian takes this in calmly. “Twenty dollars.” He demands. The masked teenager squints.
“Five.”
“Twenty.”
“Ten.”
“Twenty.”
“Eleven.”
“Nineteen.”
“Fifteen.”
“Seventeen.”
“Done.”
Damian takes the money from the older boy and then causally turns to Bruce before telling him, “Father, this is my eighteen year old half-brother, Hood. he struggles with paranoia and is slightly mentally unstable from being submerged in the lazarus pit while young, which is why he keeps his name and face confidential from everybody other than our immediate family on our mother’s side. if Mother calls, please tell her Hood has been staying with us for the weekend.”
the rest of the bats are completely indignant, but Hood just considers Damian’s words for a few seconds and then resigns himself to, “Yeah, guess that’s fair.” and doesn’t deny anything, baffling them even more.
and that’s how the Waynes become acquainted with Hood, the probable-pyromaniac-definite-bad-influence older brother that, as it becomes increasingly clear the more he comes around, Damian adores with his whole heart. it’s also how it becomes a semi-regular occurrence that Damian’s older brother runs to the manor to demand refuge and plausible deniability from whatever bullshit he’s done at the league that Ra’s 100% knows he did but can’t fucking prove, at which point Hood will just hide with the Waynes for a few days, masked up 24/7, running around with Damian and causing chaos, confusing the fuck out of everybody because this is the first time they’ve ever been able to see Damian indulge in a genuine childhood sibling-dynamic and it knocks the bats off their feet Every Fucking Time. the only time that boy ever acts like a child is when Hood comes to visit and it both infuriates Dick and Tim, fills them with jealousy, and makes them oddly relieved to know that underneath that weird victorian-boy shell, there’s an actual modern-day child somewhere in there.
also, Hood can be really fucking fun. and he and Dick get along like they’ve known each other for years, so it sometimes just feels like Hood’s a normal part of their family!
Gotham has always had an overwhelming pollution problem. They accepted it- even Poison Ivy knew there wasn't much chance to undo what's been done. She merely fought for what was left- and they learned to live with the tainted water, smoke-covered sky, and sometimes spicy air.
The Gotham river wasn't the color of water anymore, it's was either black or on good days dark green.
This is how it was for generations, some saying even before the first Wayne- one of the original founders of Gotham- moved in.
Then one night, Gotham saw three glowing figures in the sky. Now, metas weren't uncommon but everyone knew Batman's stance on them. Just as they knew it would happen, , the Bats attempted to knock the figures down.
Only.....the three fought off all the Bats and won. Gotham Collective held their breath as the strange glowing people brought their Dark Knight and his team to their knees.
A young girl with pure white hair kept Robin, Spoiler and Red Robin a fair fight but ultimately she was victorious.
A young adult man with the same hair color toyed with Nightwing, Red Hood and Signal, looking to be treating their fight like a game.
But worst of all was the young teenage boy who held off Batman and Orphan like they were a annoying fly.
Once the dust settled, the teenager- the apparent leader of the trio- floated a camera from a local need crew to broadcast they defeat of the Batclan.
He is holding the camera like a phone angering his face and the two others to share the screen.
"People of Gotham! I am Phantom, with me is my brother-um what's your code name again?"
The adult man rolled his eyes "Specter"
"Really? That's what you're going with?" Phantom asked and gets smack on the back of his head by Specter.
The young girl giggles, throwing her face into the frame to shout." And I'm Wraith!"
"Come on; we can't all be another word for a ghost!" Phantom whines. "Isn't there something else you want to be called?"
Specter raises a brow, forcefully taking the camera out of Phantom's hand so that his face takes up the entire screen. He stares into the lens, allowing every citizen of Gotham to see his inhuman feature as he smirks."Call me Daddy."
"DAN, NO!" Phantom screams in horror. Wraith cackles somewhere off-screen as Specter blows the camera a kiss. He slaps Phantom's hands away from the desperate attempt to get control of the video camera. "You can be Specter, just never call yourself that again!"
"Dan! Keep away!" Wraith shouts, and the man throws the camera at her as Phantom screams in outrage.
"Give that back!"
"Come and get it!" She taunts only to, throw it back to Specter as Phantom rounds on her.
As the camera jerks back and forth, Gotham can catch glimpses of their heroes. All tied up with glowing green ropes a few feet away, looking worse for wear but awake and quiet.
The three made the mistake of allowing time to plan.
Phantom eventually regains the camera after a while. He clears his throat. "As I was saying, I am Phantom and these are my brother Specter and my sister Wraith. We have ripped open a portal to your city to place claim on your resources! Should you get in the way of our feast, you will be destroyed!"
"What resources do you want?" Red Robin asked somewhere to the right.
Phantom points to the sky, the river and certain parts of the city, dramatically announcing "The ectoplasm!"
The what?
"Today we feast!" He screams and his siblings take flight.
Wraith jumps into the sky, flying across the city in neck breaking speeds, leaving in her trail.....a streak of clear blue sky?
Specter dives head first into the river, absorbing....the black tar and trash leaing clear water?
Phantom inhales, dragging up litter off the closet streets around him. It Flys around him in glowing green, and the boy stuffs them into his mouth. He moans as he chewing. "Scrumptious"
Specter returns, carrying a giant green transparent jar of what looks like Gotham slime swishing within it. He sticks in a straw, tilting the jar in his younger brother's direction. "You have to try a drink of this! The ectoplasm is amazingly sweet!"
As Phantom takes a sip. "Awesome! It's taste just like Far Frozen sparkling water!"
"Guys! Even the air here is tasty!" Wraith announces as she flouts back down her own transparent jar holding what looks like all the smoke and dangerous gasses of Gotham city. "Take a swift!"
The two slam their heads through the glowing green, taking in a long sniff and sighing.
"Wait. Wait. Wait." Red Robin calls, gaining all three attention, "All you want is Gotham's pollution?"
"No, we want the Ectoplasm," Wraith replies, crossing her arms. "And there is nothing you can do to stop us! Nothing any of you can!"
The feed cuts then as a giant portal rips above the city, and the three siblings, fly through it, laughing evilly the entire time.
They return several times a week to "steal" from Gotham and the citizens have never seen their city so clean.
Or Danny, Dan, and Dani have made up and become actual siblings once coming out to their parents. A few quick adoptions papers later, the trio bond by exploring through various doors of the Infinite Realms.
They quickly discover that different worlds have a ton of ectoplasm just up grabs since humans don't eat it and start a food tour across the multiverse during siblings night.
Jazz is welcome, but since she can't eat ectoplasm as they can, she always has a pizza- her comfort food- waiting back at her apartment and a fun session of Dnd ready for them.
Meanwhile, the Bats don't know what type of aliens the Ghost Trio are, but they have been helping with the pollution problem and can't find it in themselves to try and stop them. Damian has never seen the bottom of Gotham River, but he enjoyed painting it after Specter "stole all the ectoplasm" from it, leaving only clean water.
He hopes they visit the beach next. Maybe there was hope for their reefs with the Ghost Trio around.
Tim and Bruce are the only ones obsessed with finding answers, everyone else cheers when the three fly by.
Jazz can come on the food tour one time as a treat
The portal rips open in the sky above Gotham, a sight becoming more and more normal
Everyone looks up hopefully, wondering if their street will be the lucky one “pilfered”
Tim’s on immediate alert, scouring surveillance and asking who’s close
Dick is, for no real reason maybe they’re slurping Bludhaven
He’s happy they’ve crossed the river, comes to offer a welcome wagon and coincidentally appease Tim
And there they are, the three flying siblings
And then
And then a fourth steps through
A 6’7 Amazonian goddess with flaming red hair and the most beautiful smile
She waves to the other three, tells them to have fun and meet up soon, and finally catches sight of Dick
Dick is now convinced the siblings come from Heaven
Tim is SCREAMING into his comms but Dick can only hear his new religion as she gives him a beautiful smile just for him and asks if this is the dimension with the good pizza
(Danny slorped past a pizza place that looked super good)
Dick is torn between offended she wants Gotham pizza and fucking ecstatic to give her a personal tour of the dimension
Jason has texted Kori in the meantime and they and Babs are loudly commentating on the feed from Dick’s domino
Dick barely resists going straight to one knee and instead offers to show her the best pizza in Bludhaven, and then he’ll take her across the river if she wants Gotham
Jazz is a little surprised but happy when Dick explains her siblings are heroes here and how they’re literally cleaning up the city
(He does have to explain his own vigilante costume at this point and Jazz makes a joke about him calling them heroes being a professional opinion
Dick considers reviving the discowing suit)
And yeah he has his bike in a nearby alley but LIKE FUCK is he missing a chance to sweep this goddess into his arms and grapple her across the city, he’s carried Jason’s tanky ass
Jazz likes Bludhaven pizza fine for this time but teases he’ll have to show her Gotham’s on her next visit
Dick swears he’ll come the second the portal opens
Dan flies past and flips his drink but Dick could not care less
He pulls up footage of the “call me Daddy” incident as revenge though and Jazz laughs til she cries
Danny knew that his strange new boss was rich. He figured that much out by the overly priced suit and the wad of cash, but when he followed him into an Uber, he never thought he would wind up at the Waynes.
Everyone knew who the Waynes were. Danny personally thought it was no exaggeration when people called Bruce Wayne the Prince of Gotham.
He thought it fit the lovable man far more than the title of White Knight. It wasn't that Bruce didn't do the most out of all the ultra-rich to help the city, but rather, it mirrored the Dark Knight too much.
Danny thinks Bruce Wayne and Batman were too different to be compared like that. At least Mr. Wayne is real.
"Welcome home, Master Damian." The butler said as soon as the two walked through the door. His intrigued eyes slowly glanced at Danny, causing the teenager to stand straighter. "And who might our guest be?"
"I believed he was here for Drake." The young boy- apparently named Damian, fibs. Danny is a little impressed that he can sound so uncaring about what is happening despite being the whole reason he is here.
Danny knows that his job is to fool the butler and act like he isn't very aware of Damian. He offers the man his best smile. "Yeah, I came to see Tom. "
The older gentleman raises a brow while Damian shoots him a look of utter venom. Danny fights the urge to cower underneath the boy's displeasure. That is one nasty scowl the boy had.
"I am afraid Master Tim, is currently unavailable in his room"
Aw, crude, he said the wrong name. "Um, I know he said he needed a few minutes to get ready, but I was allowed to go up to his room. I'm sorry, sir I'm a little nervous."
"I see," The other says carefully before sharing a look with Damian. There is a moment where the two just stare at each other, and after a few small hand signs- sign language, maybe?- the butler clears his throat.
"That's quite alright, young man. You may go to Master Tim's room. It's up the main stairway on the third level, fifth door on the right."
Danny practically ran to the stairs, throwing a quick "Thank you, sir!" as he scurried away from the Butler and his boss. The boy still looked greatly displeased with his performance.
He prays he gets better at it once he speaks with Tom-er Tim and gets their story straight. Curious, He glances around, taking in the tasteful night pictures of Gotham City and the scattered few statues.
His breath catches when he sees a large frame photo of a man lying on an old couch looking into the far distance, his smile curving with mischievous glee and the sunlight reflecting the blue of his eyes.
There is a background of an old library, but the sun streaming through the window drapes him with a glow that makes the other man seem otherworldly.
It feels like it should be a painting, but it is so clearly a photograph that Danny has half a mind to wonder if someone who looked like that could possibly be real.
"Wow." He breathes, stepping closer to the frame.
"Wow, yourself." A gruff voice suddenly says, making Danny jump. Whirling around, he finds a boy about his age leaning on the doorframe.
It takes Danny a moment to realize that he is the subject of the art he was just admiring. But while the teenager in the photo seemed like a visiting angel, draped gracefully put together the teenager before him is, in a slight word, a mess.
He was wearing an oversized, fluffy, red open bathrobe. He seemed to only bother to slip on some baggy sweatpants and one sock. His hair didn't seem to have been combed in days, and there were dreadful bags underneath his eyes.
Despite that, Danny felt his heart flutter slightly when he made eye contact with the other.
"Who are you?" The stranger asks, voice a soft mutter.
"Um...I'm looking for Tim?"
"You found him." There is a half smile, but it falls quickly as the boy's demeanor seems to grow sad. Welp, his boss did say he was recently heartbroken.
"Oh great! I was told by Damian to do this when I found you." He places his hand on the wall, knocking six times, pausing for a few seconds, then knocking four.
Tim's face flashes through emotions faster than Danny can understand before the other teens' eyes water. That's all the warning he gets just as Tim bursts into tears.
He has no idea what's happening, but Danny's protective core has him rushing forward to bring the sobbing boy into his arms. He fumbles for a few seconds, unsure if it's welcome, until Tim melts into him, sobbing softly into his chest.
"It's okay. Shh. Shhhh. It's alright, everything will be alright. Why don't we head to your room?"
"Okay," The other whimpers. Danny helps him to his room, trying his best to offer as much support as possible. He is just starting to wonder if he should offer to get him some water or something when Tim kicks the door close, and the tears are all gone.
"Alright, we managed to fool Alfred. He was watching from the stairway," Tim whispers, leaning in close to Danny's face. He gave the startled half-ghost a sneer. "Now, who are you, and why did Damian send you to be my fake boyfriend?"
"Wait, you guys have a code for fake dating? That's what that was?"
"That's not important. I want to know what your objective is."
Danny tells him everything that Damian has told him since finding him. It's only been a few hours since he was fired and since he was taken by Damian.
Tim took it all in without much emotion.
"So you're here as my pity date to get Alfred to leave me alone? And was the Demon Brat the one to hire you? A likely story."
"No, I swear everything I've said is true."
"Oh, and I bet Batman is going to come out of the closet, too," The other said, rolling his eyes.
Danny frowns. "Batman isn't real."
At once, Tim's entire body seemed to have frozen. He blinks slowly, almost as if he is delayed in the reaction. "What did you just say?"
"Batman isn't real," Danny repeats slower, suddenly afraid for Tim's mental health. Next thing he knows, Tim will say the tooth fairy is real.
"Yes, he is."
"No, that's what the government wants you to think so they can hunt him down."
Tim blicks even slower before a blush starts to climb along his cheekbones. He reaches up to play with the hair at the back of his neck. "If that's true, then what is Batman really?"
"A ghost," Danny says confidently and Tim's face grows even redder. It's....endearing.
"You're weird," Tim says, looking away. His gaze lands on a hanging mirror, seemingly taken aback by his reflection. "Oh, I haven't showered in a few days, have I? Do you mind?"
Danny shakes his head, smiling. "No, go ahead. "
Noehter notices the small boy who moves away from Tim's door. And if that boy happened to be pumping his fist into the air in celebration well, that's no one business but Damian's
Damian sure knows Tim's type, huh. Tim was all suspicious and uninterested until Danny revealed his Batman conspiracy. Danny has legitimate reasons to think Batman is a ghost being hunted down by the government, but that definitely sounds a bit out there to anyone who's met Batman.
Danny: Reincarnations are real, you know. I've got a friend who was an Egyptian sorcerer king. The stone sphinxes in Egypt were used as animated guardian spirits.
Tim leaning into Danny's personal space and tucking his arm into his: Oh really?
Danny: Yeah. Lots of people think aliens made the pyramids, but that's crazy. They're definitely not alien-made. Nope. The sorcerer pharaohs used their magic and mind control to get their people to build the pyramids.
Tim leans his head on Danny's shoulder: That's you're amazing.
---
Danny: I don't think a circus is a good idea for a date.
Tim: Don't let Dick hear you say that. But why not?
Danny: You never know when the Ringmaster is actually mind controlling the performers to do all those things they'd never want to do otherwise.
Tim: What?
Danny: Yeah, and I don't like clowns.
Tim sliding an arm around Danny's waist: You know, that's a good opinion to have in Gotham.
---
Danny: Man, I'm so glad your dad is a himbo.
Tim: ...uh, why?
Danny: I was really worried at first, because he's a billionaire and collects kids who are all dark haired and blue eyed. I was worried he'd be a Fruitloop with a secret basement lair and obsessed with creating a family.
Tim blushing and struggling not to giggle: Y-you really thought that?
Danny: Haha, yeah. I guess it's not actually a billionaire thing. Or maybe the loveable himboness cancels it out. Do you think Luthor has a secret basement lair?
Tim smiling coyly: Maybe. Who knows?
---
Danny: Aw jeez, Tim, that looks painful.
Tim: It's ok. I just fell. The doctor said it's a fracture and it'll be fine after I get the cast off. It might be a while though, I don't know if I'll be able to take you dancing with this.
Danny: I wish I could take you to see the Yetis, they'd have you fixed right up. But it's ok if we postpone. I'm just glad you're okay.
Tim flustered and bats his eyes at Danny: Yetis?
Danny grins: Oh yeah. Yetis are great doctors. You wouldn't think it to look at em, but they've got super advanced medicine. Sometimes I wonder if maybe they are from an ancient alien civilization.
Tim tugs Danny to sit in the overstuffed loveseat with him: Tell me more?
Danny: Deep under the ice they've got all kinds of advanced technology and mysterious artifacts...
Are you reading this on the toilet AT WORK? You're a legend.
Are you reading this on the toilet AT WORK, WHILE CRYING, and the comic is the ONLY thing that has CHEERED YOU UP ALL DAY? You are precious and the reason we're doing this!
PS: If you're on the toilet at work and you're the CEO:
Get more from War and Peas on Patreon. creating Comics. Support War and Peas and get exclusive access to their work.
AKA "Ghosts feed on emotions. The stronger, the better. Danny quickly realizes this also applies to pain. He becomes a nurse at Dr. Leslie Thompkins' clinic. Enter: the Wayne Family Dilemma." DPxDC prompt idea!
Okay, so, Danny hadn't really intended to work at Dr. Leslie Thompkins' free clinic as a nurse. He even applied for the job; he was helping somebody else who'd gotten mugged get to the free clinic and Dr. Thompkins stopped him, asked, "You're a nurse?" And he was hired. It turns out, nobody wanted to work for Dr. Thompkins because it was a crime-ridden hotspot: Crime Alley.
Danny doesn't even really realize what's happening until a patient with a GSW comes into clinic, yelling and bloody, and Danny's nitrile touch calms him enough that he doesn't even need morphine. A haphazard surgery later and Danny's fully satisfied - he doesn't even need to eat dinner because he feels like he's two minutes away from a food coma.
That's where the rumor starts. The free clinic has good drugs. Not fentanyl, oxycodone, dilaudid, or ketamine. Something better that has no side effects and totally erases every pain - as little as a sore throat to chronic pain that doctors have said there's no cure for. It becomes so well known that Dr. Thompkins' clinic is a huge target and a certain batfamily has to stake out the place to dissuade criminals.
Enter: Dick Grayson, former BPD officer with chronic leg pain after being shot in the leg. Jason "Totally Not A Crime Lord" Todd whose extensive burns affect the right side of his body. Barbara Gordon, Gotham librarian whose spinal injury causes phantom pain.
It becomes apparent that there's something amiss when Timothy Drake-Wayne comes to clinic. Wayne Enterprise CEO and multi-millionaire, who can absolutely afford at least five ambulance rides and a lengthy inpatient stay at a five-star private hospital. Dr. Thompkins catches Danny while he's trying to hide in the staff room, snatching him by the collar and dragging him out to meet him. ("Why do I have to talk to him?!?" "Danny, I can't afford to entertain some rich kid when there is actual work to be done. Just give him what he wants and take his money." "Dr. Thompkins?!")
Danny awkwardly gestures for Mr. Drake-Wayne to sit on one of the crinkly paper seats, pulling the worn-out curtain closed despite there being no other patients in clinic.
"So... What can I help you with, Mr. Drake-Wayne?" Danny asks.
"Just Tim, please," The older man says and smiles in that I'm-so-rich-I-can-afford-dental-insurance way. Sparkly straight, white teeth and all.
"Uh...huh.. Okay. What can I help you with, Tim?"
Tim leans forward, eyes sharp despite his suave persona. He says, "I lost my spleen a couple years ago - a ski retreat gone wrong. Anyways, I still have some residual pain. I heard this is the place to go. I'm sure you already know, but I have a lot of money. Having the backing of a Wayne, especially one who's also a Drake, would be a great... investment."
Danny gapes at him. Incredulously, he asks, "Sir, are you bribing me for drugs?"
Tim shrugs, a self-satisfied half-smile on his face. "I don't know. Is it working?"
((And... well... Danny could really use the money.))
They're gonna think that Danny is a meta who can relieve pain just by touch... Which is probably a very dangerous power to have in a place like Gotham.
AKA "Ghosts feed on emotions. The stronger, the better. Danny quickly realizes this also applies to pain. He becomes a nurse at Dr. Leslie Thompkins' clinic. Enter: the Wayne Family Dilemma." DPxDC prompt idea!
Okay, so, Danny hadn't really intended to work at Dr. Leslie Thompkins' free clinic as a nurse. He even applied for the job; he was helping somebody else who'd gotten mugged get to the free clinic and Dr. Thompkins stopped him, asked, "You're a nurse?" And he was hired. It turns out, nobody wanted to work for Dr. Thompkins because it was a crime-ridden hotspot: Crime Alley.
Danny doesn't even really realize what's happening until a patient with a GSW comes into clinic, yelling and bloody, and Danny's nitrile touch calms him enough that he doesn't even need morphine. A haphazard surgery later and Danny's fully satisfied - he doesn't even need to eat dinner because he feels like he's two minutes away from a food coma.
That's where the rumor starts. The free clinic has good drugs. Not fentanyl, oxycodone, dilaudid, or ketamine. Something better that has no side effects and totally erases every pain - as little as a sore throat to chronic pain that doctors have said there's no cure for. It becomes so well known that Dr. Thompkins' clinic is a huge target and a certain batfamily has to stake out the place to dissuade criminals.
Enter: Dick Grayson, former BPD officer with chronic leg pain after being shot in the leg. Jason "Totally Not A Crime Lord" Todd whose extensive burns affect the right side of his body. Barbara Gordon, Gotham librarian whose spinal injury causes phantom pain.
It becomes apparent that there's something amiss when Timothy Drake-Wayne comes to clinic. Wayne Enterprise CEO and multi-millionaire, who can absolutely afford at least five ambulance rides and a lengthy inpatient stay at a five-star private hospital. Dr. Thompkins catches Danny while he's trying to hide in the staff room, snatching him by the collar and dragging him out to meet him. ("Why do I have to talk to him?!?" "Danny, I can't afford to entertain some rich kid when there is actual work to be done. Just give him what he wants and take his money." "Dr. Thompkins?!")
Danny awkwardly gestures for Mr. Drake-Wayne to sit on one of the crinkly paper seats, pulling the worn-out curtain closed despite there being no other patients in clinic.
"So... What can I help you with, Mr. Drake-Wayne?" Danny asks.
"Just Tim, please," The older man says and smiles in that I'm-so-rich-I-can-afford-dental-insurance way. Sparkly straight, white teeth and all.
"Uh...huh.. Okay. What can I help you with, Tim?"
Tim leans forward, eyes sharp despite his suave persona. He says, "I lost my spleen a couple years ago - a ski retreat gone wrong. Anyways, I still have some residual pain. I heard this is the place to go. I'm sure you already know, but I have a lot of money. Having the backing of a Wayne, especially one who's also a Drake, would be a great... investment."
Danny gapes at him. Incredulously, he asks, "Sir, are you bribing me for drugs?"
Tim shrugs, a self-satisfied half-smile on his face. "I don't know. Is it working?"
((And... well... Danny could really use the money.))
They're gonna think that Danny is a meta who can relieve pain just by touch... Which is probably a very dangerous power to have in a place like Gotham.
