A Father's Marital Advice to his Son
**A father’s marital advice to his son.**
“My dear son, always remember that your wife is your life partner, for better or for worse; don’t be harsh with her, even if you are angry with her. Follow this advice, and consider it my treasure to you:
1. Always bear in mind that you have married a woman, not a man.
2. Don’t try to be victorious over her in every battle.
3. Give her a completely free reign in her home and do not interfere at all in her affairs.
4. Continuously praise her, especially in front of your family and pay extra attention to her in their presence.
5. Know as much as you can about her; be sensitive and pick up on subtle changes.
6. Surprise her with a gift on a day she is not expecting it, and give her little gifts from time to time.
7. Send her loving text messages once in a while.
8. Do not spy on her, and beware of doubting her and being overly suspicious.
9. Be keen to satisfy her physical and emotional needs.
10. Have a strong personality without being stern and obscene.
11. Don’t communicate what happens between the two of you to your mother.
12. Give her your ear, she’ll give you her heart and mind.
13. Kindness, kindness, kindness.
14. Understand the extent of the pressure she faces, then see if you appreciate what she does.
15. Always pamper her and massage her from time to time.
16. Call her from work, not to ask about dinner, but to say, “I love you”.
17. Remain composed during any conflict; neither raise your voice nor utter unbecoming words.
18. Honour her parents and speak well of them and invite them.
19. Pay attention to personal hygiene, especially your mouth (breath); and take a bath at least once a day.
20. Use lovely nicknames and address her with terms of endearment.
21. Be merciful and loving, verily, those with big hearts always win.
22. Let her feel how valuable she is, how much you need her and that you are proud of her.
23. Overlook trivial matters and rise above lowly matters; don’t be nitpicky.
24. Bury past negative stances and forget them (let bygones be bygones).
25. Ask her how her day went everyday.
26. Stand by her in any disagreements with your children, and share your thoughts with her when alone with her.
27. Spend on her from the bank of sweet words without limit.
28. When you get home, look for her before anything else.
29. Don’t minimize her feelings and needs.
30. Go out with her from time to time alone, with no kids.
31. When she’s ill, be gentle with her and care for her.
32. If you hurt her feelings, be extra kind to her and apologize.
33. Be keen to keep a smile; it is cheaper than electricity, but brighter.“
Via Shaykh Younus Kathrada
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