My friend is experiencing the crisis of the family vehicle completely decomposing, with little recourse to address it on a month-to-month income. Please help save them from their car.
dvd commentary â–ş the story of torment itself is a very beautiful one.
or: my kyoji and satomi mixtape project, at its first stage of becoming.
You probably wouldn’t have guessed this was a derivative work for a character pairing by how rarely a graphic designer appears in an environment composed of illustrators and painters, let alone guessing this was a multimedia derivative work. And I couldn’t fault you if it were merely eye candy, or a busy visual work that perplexes perception. Because these likely impressions are secondary to my pursuit of catharsis, which is precisely what this derivative work is.
You see, I hadn’t designed a poster in a year and I was lost without this mode of creative self-expression. I had been wandering my haunts, both online and offline, with only casual modes of self-expression. I had prioritized securing a source of livelihood that was divorced from this passion of mine, and developed a merch addiction in response to my income. Everything I had wanted to explore—first through experience, and then through reflection—came in bursts that left as soon as they arrived. This, primarily an apt description for the micro-blogging activity you know me through.
When I casually express myself, I live in the moment and leave it, too. In retrospect you won’t find me in my musings with the same degree of immersion, or rather: each reflection had come with limitations that casual self-expression arranged for me. I’d gone so long with micro-blogging as a mode of casual self-expression that I therefore recurrently encountered a wanting for creative self-expression.
I missed producing a creative project and was often jaded by my unchallenged casual mode of self-expression. I grew weary of sustaining a relationship with stories that opened up the world to me by micro-blogging. I approached it earnestly each time, yes, but I discerned it was unfulfilling on its own and at the frequency with which I did it. The fact remains: I had a hunger in me that begged to be satiated and I could only find my feed in the act of creation.
Playlist curation has been a pastime of mine for the last five years, though my eleven public playlists may not be the one to shape your opinion. I make monthly logs, to monthly favorites, to mood playlists and I rarely publicize them. I regard this pastime as a byproduct of my five year old pursuit of forming my taste and knowledge in music. I gravitate to formative artists, albums, periods that I couldn’t have known within the mainstream. Through this, I developed a relationship with music that is private and personal, independent of spectatorship, whilst sporadically indulging in it, as you can see in the eleven public playlists I have thus far.
On the rare occasion that I tune into someone’s playlist for a character or a character pairing, there are tells in their curation that compel me: indicators of mainstream, the curator’s listening pipeline: a pre-extensive formation of their own tastes before it is others’. It is no feat to track the sameness in the countless playlists there is. You can tell the search feature has been put to good use, leading users to each other. I have a propensity to express myself through whatever medium I engage with art in and that’s how my playlists come to be.
Thus brings us to the story of torment itself is a very beautiful one. The playlist preview has three different layouts, depending on whether you're reading this post via web or mobile app. The link stays, so feel free to click away for the full tracklist. Maybe give it a listen as you continue your read, somewhere down the line. I published it as a multimedia work on X and Bluesky at nineteen tracks, failed to include the nineteenth track in the visual work, and to neutralize the odd number, finalized it at twenty tracks, which I plan to reflect visually during the second stage of this project.
When I create, I need just one trigger. It seizes me and I can only surrender to creation. For the starting point of a Kyoji and Satomi playlist by me, it was: Call It Fate, Call It Karma, the eleventh track off the 2013 album, Comedown Machine by The Strokes. I have immortalized this moment of possession and there is only one record of it. This goddamned post (said with so much love) from the 11th of August, 2024 when it occurred to me that the lyrics resonated with pictured sequences from Chapter 9 and Chapter 12 of Let's Go to the Family Restaurant.
I was seized by the relevance of this verse:
Can I waste all your time here on the sidewalk?
Can I stand in your light just for a while?
I've waited around, oh
Having a hard time watchin' you (watchin' you)
Wayama Yama’s comedy seinen manga series, Let’s Go Karaoke! and its sequel, Let’s Go to the Family Restaurant. is a story of waiting and wanting between Narita Kyoji and Oka Satomi. It’s a relationship whose intimacy is identified by the transition of Satomi in totality while entwined in Kyoji’s presence. Kyoji follows Satomi in his Toyota Century all throughout Ka! and its continuity is interrupted by Kyoji getting both his car and himself busted from a collision he maneuvered, which in turn leads to Satomi being the one that follows Kyoji. Because of the motive of the collision, Kyoji cuts off the opportunity of continuity to following Satomi once more when he disappears from his life for four years, only to follow him again at an airport, the image of his Toyota Century long gone as it too changes into transit and walks, mutually pursued by both Kyoji and Satomi.
Fa. unfolds in anticipation of meeting each other beyond the events and the environment of Ka!, from boyhood to adolescence, from fixed locations to assorted locations—albeit each time with individual feelings of guilt for waiting and wanting. Kyoji is less impertinent but ever keen on meeting Satomi whose word establishes a meeting or not. “Anywhere is fine as long as it’s with you,” Wayama writes of the mutual sentiment of this pair’s behavior with each other, only for the readers to perceive.
Kyoji and Satomi are a pair whose relationship dynamic beget the questions in Call It Fate, Call It Karma:
Can I waste all your time here on the sidewalk?
Could Satomi want to confirm and distinguish what forms of intimacy he wished to pursue with Kyoji? Where did his sense of duty to Kyoji end and begin again: was it during karaoke lessons as Kyoji's teacher? Was it when Kyoji faced him again after four years with a tattoo of Satomi's name on his wrist, which for yakuza, showed its owner's identity to the world?
Can I stand in your light just for a while?
Could Kyoji bring further turbulence in Satomi's life by his mere presence despite giving Satomi more room to decide on whether they meet or not? Where did Kyoji's sense of accountability begin and end: was it when he never quite gave Satomi a choice to give him karaoke lessons? When he sought after him after four years of no contact, intervening once more in Satomi's life, with a tattoo of the boy's name on his wrist no less? Was it when he put himself within reach and spoke only when Satomi decided?
I've waited around, oh
Having a hard time watchin' you (watchin' you)
Kyoji and Satomi, wrestling through varying personal and private degrees of attachment and detachment, grow as a pair. A duo. Partners. They wait on each other, with their wants. The world around them sees the two as a distinct entity, singular: that entwinement of two different lives factual, incontestable.
Ultimately I started putting together the playlist a year after the song left an impression on me, and it was the sole track I added to begin my curation on the 10th of September, 2025, with the succeeding tracks rolling in a month after, on the 16th of October, 2025. I picked up the playlist again three weeks ago from the day I wrote this, which was approximately on the 10th of May, 2026.
Each one of us has a personal canon: of music, and other art. When curating character playlists, I look to my music canon. The majority of these artists whose tracks I've collated, you will find spread out across my public playlists. I've likely initially had other playlists for them in mind and deduced their relevance to the story of torment itself is a very beautiful one. by tuning into them, while others reached me in a timely manner for the first time. I was keen on carving my own path with a derivative work for Kyoji and Satomi, thus the layout, composition and format of my graphic design project.
I'm aware of the likely impressions my work would receive which motivated me to opt for a straightforward format of presenting it: a pair of GIFs. First, the poster design, succeeded by the unabridged quote that I obtained the derivative work's title from. Second, the tracklist that completes the multimedia derivative work.
The poster design is the visual identity of the story of torment itself is a very beautiful one.
The quote is an addendum to the title of the work.
The tracklist is the indication that this multimedia derivative work is a mixtape project.
I want my audience to embrace my understanding of Kyoji and Satomi's relationship through graphic design, through literature, and through songs. I want my audience to know that these characters that have lived within me since early 2024 move through an extended world I've created for me to engage with the author's world. I want this multimedia derivative work to tell you that I am utterly in love with Wayama's brainchild, and it is personal, and private, even as I share it. And I hope that if this is anything to you, it is my creative self-expression of my two year old relationship with the world that Wayama Yama created for Narita Kyoji and Oka Satomi. And it's still in its first stage of becoming, because the love is a living, breathing thing.
Thank you so much for your support on the first bit of our cf to secure rent for april. our GoFundMe is still open for donations and we would really like the assistance to get through the next couple of months. I will continue to break up posts to make smaller goals to hit. i hope you can be patient with me.
our next mini goal is to help us insure our car so that we can earn money & travel safely, as well as funds for groceries, the rest to be saved for housing. please continue to push for us, you are truly genuinely saving our lives with every dollar and every share!!
i’ve been having a bad flare up so i haven’t been able to consistently update for a few days; thank you for sharing this post in the meantime, we managed to raise $87 even without me!
unfortunately, things are getting dire. without being able to insure our car, i haven’t been able to earn any money for rent, utilities or meds (which are now more expensive). so we’re back at square one, and we’re not making much progress.
PLEASE consider sharing this. we need to hit goal by 4/25 so that we can start the next stretch & stay alive in the meantime. we only need to raise $137 a day to make it in time. 15 ppl with a spare $10 can make this happen! can anyone start us off?
i think i've hit upon our yaoi zine 6 theme btw....... isn't that thrilling? it's right around the corner. i'll probably give everyone may and june to work on it. so i can tell you now. IT WILL BE THE WEB ISSUE!!!! so we will come together to make some busted html to showcase our yaouri pride :)
born totally online. as long as you can put it on a web page, i'll take it. so games, quizzes, shrines, hypertext, what have you. the world wide web is the limit.
do you wish that dashingly fujoful person in the photo was you? well it can be. sort of. i'm giving away the extra tshirts in exchange for a donation to this gfm (LINK). the small is already claimed, but the medium, large, extra large, and 2xl are up for grabs.
SECONDLY. i'm also giving away my extra copies of yaoi zine 1, yaoi zine 2, and yuri zine this way. if you missed out on them, this is your chance! i have about 10 or so of each, so there's plenty. just dm me or email me (tshirt3k at gmail) with proof of your donation and i'll send one your way. or more.
this is how i'm doing the customary yaoi zine giveaway this time, and i don't see myself doing reprints any time soon, so do consider fujoing out.
this playlist is sonically unsound. but it tells the story i want it to tell.Â
all i wanna do - jay park
This one is for them sexy ladies (Sexy ladies)
Yeah, yeah (Oh yeah, oh yeah)
Haters only motivate me (Motivate me)
Yeah, yeah (Oh yeah, oh yeah)
i wanted to start off strong with a fun song that captures bing-ge at the height of his power. so obviously i went to the asian fuckboy supreme, jay park. it’s true. bing-ge does it for them sexy ladies, and his haters motivate him.Â
2. sittin on top of the world - burna boy
That's how it is when you're (sittin' on top of the world)
(Top of the world, top of the world, top of the world)
Her body make me stop the world (the world)
(Top of the world, top of the world, top of the world)
another song in the same vein. bing-ge IS sittin’ on top of the world. it was also really important to me to pick a normal popular song because i wanted a song or two that bing-ge would plausibly listen to.Â
3. no church in the wild - jay-z, kanye west, frank ocean
Two tattoos, one read "No apologies"
The other said "Love is cursed by monogamy"
That's somethin' that the pastor don't preach
That's somethin' that a teacher can't teach
what IS god to a non-believer… who don’t believe in… anything. as it turns out, god is his lackey. shoutout shang qinghua. kanye west to ME is a very bing-ge core artist. i shan’t justify this statement. you accept it or you don’t. anyway, i wanted bing-ge’s cracks to show a little bit.Â
4. hazard duty pay! - jpegmafia
Sometimes we feel pain, ayy, ayyy, ayy
Sometimes we feel pain, ayy, ayyy, ayy
it really spoke to my bing-ge vision that jpegmafia took “ain’t no need to worry” and took just one line out of it to sample and loop: sometimes we feel pain. i wanted a song that was bold and confident and directed to the fakes of the world. but also you know. bing-ge does feel pain! just like jpegmafia :)Â
5. shirt - sza
Comfort in my sins, and all about me
All I got right now
Feel the taste of resentment
Simmer in my skin, it's all about
bing-ge’s descent continues. sza is very binghe-core to me too. like come onnn kill bill is so huayue city coded. anyway yeah. i wanted something sexy and slinky and just a little bit dangerous.
6. wasted - nnamdĂŻ
I need you, need something new
I need you, I need something new
I need you, need something new
I need you, I need something new
this is where bing-ge meets shen qingqiu (nice version). everything he didn’t know he wanted, given to him by a man who’s warped in the opposite direction. what changed? this song is dripping with desire, desire for another person and to know them, begging to know. i like it. brat summer (nnamdï version)
7. bad sad and mad - bibi
You know me well (Know me well)
You wash my dirtiness away (My dirtiness away)
After everything is over (Is over)
I become human again
bing-ge can take a lot of punishment. in this case (the bing-ge extra) it’s mostlyyy emotional. but i see shen qingqiu stripping his wounds open again and him begging for more, just so he can make sense of it. i chose the aftercare lyrics, though, because i see this being the start of bing-ge unraveling again.Â
8. i believe in love again - peggy gou, lenny kravitz
I believe in love again
I believe in love again (oh, oh-oh, oh)
I believe in love again (I believe)
I believe in love again
okay this song is just my little joke because it’s SO on the nose. but he believes in love again! now we’re moving into fanfiction territory. but i do think the possibilities of love are endless. and bing-ge has seen just what he’s missing.Â
9. lucky - raveena
I know what you're used to
You're love-starved under your shell
So you hide under your black shades
And I tenderly take them off your face
i was debating between these lyrics and the “My feminine love can heal all the hurt” because transfem shen qingqiu can save the world. but the opening is why i chose the song. another sensual song, this the soundtrack to him meeting his own shen qingqiu. i wasn’t lying about the fanfiction this playlist contains. Â
10. 6 8 - gabriel garzĂłn-montano
Rock me real slowlyÂ
Put a bib on meÂ
I'm just like a baby, drooling over youÂ
The things you do
this song is SO binghe to me. sorry for the ageplay song making it in. but the vulnerability, the open drooling mouth, the demand for comfort… waow… so WHO is gonna be the one to write a fic inspired by this song or do i have to do everything myself.Â
anyway, this is my entry for the tshirt ten-ish songs playlist death match. or whatever we’re calling it these days. thanks for listening and reading along!Â
I am once again urgently raising funds on behalf of my friend. We weren't able to help them escape their abusive situation back in January, but they were able to keep a roof over their head through winter and the first of the horrible heatwaves this summer.
They are still unsafe and being financially abused, and are once again at risk of eviction. This time, we want to actually get them moved out.
We are trying to raise 6k for them total, and would like to get at least $1500 of that cleared by July 15th. I know it's a really big ask but this is an emergency and I've had this community rally behind me so many times. I just want to extend that to my friend.
please share. every dollar helps, and every share gets us closer to a dollar. please help us keep another disabled Black queer from living without a home.
GFM
accepting payments to alternate sources- please leave note FOR S
y’all have pushed so hard for us last night and today and now we’re only $660 away from our short term goal!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. i know it’s hard but you’re genuinely saving my friends life and giving them the potential to have a life with little suffering.
please continue to share. can anyone match our most recent donation of $10????
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! we’re less than $500 away from our short term goal. please consider sharing this!!! can anyone match our most recent dono of $50????
no donations at all in over 12 hours. please share. please help me save my friend. i know it’s hard but every dollar helps, and every share gets us closer to a dollar
i'm actually 7k into it. if you must know what it is, it's a bingqiu academia au. progress has stalled on it but talking about it might encourage me to start again. so here i am
"what's so bad about that" well other than the obvious. it's jammed pack with self indulgent hcs, it's written in the first person, and well. you know. here's a sneak peek
areudirty
stormborns
gummygunk
vaporwave
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
