Welcome!

You can call me Merls There is no theme, just my eclectic tastes and ludicrous rantings

[ploobytumbls]

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

[ploobytumbls]

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

[sleepneverheardofher]

Parent just asked “who’s that guy? Jeff Affleck?”

[knightwithahundredkings]

Went to an Oedipus Rex adaption today and my friends were debating whether the Oedipus/Jocasta age gap was problematic. Like guys…I think their relationship has bigger issues

[homeiswhere-thephobicis]

[plaguedocboi]

Nature really went off with sperm whales. A 70-ton predator with teeth the size of a banana but it only eats squishy prey that it doesn’t even chew, it just schlorps them down whole like a vacuum cleaner. Big giant fat head full of goop. Tiniest fins in the world. Strong enough to smash a ship to pieces and smart enough to figure out how to do so but its first line of defense is just to shit everywhere. Possibly the most complex language in the animal kingdom and it creates sounds by blowing air through its internal right nostril (it uses the left one to breathe) into its giant fat head. It’s the loudest animal on the planet and might have the capability to create a beam of sound so loud it can shake your organs apart but they don’t seem to use that to hunt or fight. They’re highly flammable. We used them to make candles.

[parkchanwoohoo]

No I think it's really great when a friend group of approximately twenty seven individuals spread out in the sidewalk as they walk so nobody has to walk behind the group. There's nothing better than when I'm trying to get home and I see the tableau of Jesus at the Last Supper gliding towards me like Jamiroquai in the Virtual Insanity music video and I have to decide who has the narrowest frame that I can shoulder-check my way past

[sleepneverheardofher]

How old are you?

Too old to fall for this one sir

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[definitely-not-a-plant]

[spectroacha]

DOES IT NOT STOP

[stunningpicture]

Failed panoramic.

[ianre-d]

define failed

[lonelovebird]

dude

[roguesquirrel]

the dream is collapsing

[beardedmrbean]

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com

I'm a bit frightened for the time when someone less ethical than the person that did this decides to repeat the experiment but leave out the part where they come in later and announce that it was fake and people wind up diagnosed with the fake condition and all kinds of wacky hi jinks ensues.

[footlongdingledong]

rarely do i repost things and especially from shittr but this video is shutting down core partsof my mental processing i think

[cosmonaut-observer]

If you live in the UK you need to see this

Protect Internet Freedom from now until forever. It's important existentially! Americans stand with UK citizens in our struggle against government censorship

[russettrush]

Growing up in the online world: a national consultation

We are consulting on further measures to prepare children for the future in an age of rapid technological change. This includes potential ag

Got the link via @finalducc

If you live in the UK, please be sure to take part in this!

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

i can’t get over how crazy much ado is sometimes. it feels like a deconstruction of shakespeare’s other comedies when you look at how quick and lovesick and beautiful hero and claudio are and how well they fit the script of just classic young lovers, things like how hero is one of the only characters to speak in verse, the way claudio praises her to all his friends etc. and then how in the middle of the play the script is completely flipped. now hero is in danger because of what claudio believes and no one can help her. and suddenly the love story shatters because the same willingness claudio has to fall in love with her at first sight is the same willingness he has to believe a baseless accusation and the love story starts to descend into horror because there’s no legal course of action hero can appeal to her and her own father insults and disowns her at her wedding and she’s quite literally left for dead fainting on the ground with her father saying let her die, what is it to me? it’s insane because like 30 minutes before it’s just a happy comedy love story but shakespeare shows a real darkness to the genre because claudio may think he loves her but when it comes down to it he will never trust her. her word isn’t good enough. no one is going to listen to the woman

[cogentranting]

Mr. Collins would be such a fan of ai. He would love it. He would have it write scripts for him to use for complimenting people. He'd ask it what to do in social situations and then when someone would tell him "I think that's a bad idea" he'd be like "my dear madam it's so good of you to be concerned but I think the highly esteemed Grok knows a little more about this than a lady like yourself" and then he'd go humiliate himself publicly.

[gothicwill]

Still think this is the funniest Hannibal post I’ve ever seen