That is me.

Product Placement

titsay

oozey mess

shark vs the universe
Not today Justin
Jules of Nature
Three Goblin Art
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola

izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle

tannertan36
Sweet Seals For You, Always

PR's Tumblrdome
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RMH

blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap

Love Begins
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@tuath-alone-fr
That is me.
Being a Crocodile
There's this Tumblr, called "Projet Crocodile". It's run by two illustrators, and they're basically drawing comics depicting stories of men harassing women.
The goal of it is NOT to glorify men harassing women, but to offer a voice to women who were harassed by men,and in doing so, to show the horror of it.
Which is why in these comics, men are depicted as anthropomorphic crocodiles. Because a cold-blooded giant predatory lizard does elicit a sense of unease and fear many women experience because of men.
I won't claim to not be a crocodile, to be one of the good guys. Doesn't work that way, and besides, I've acted like a predator before, to my shame. Doesn't matter that it was nearly a decade ago, I am a crocodile, and I know it.
What matters is that I feel ashamed for it. What matters is that each story, each comic that I read on their Tumblr, sickens me to my stomach. What matters is that I am not proud to be a man, not after reading all the stories I've read, not after hearing what women have told me.
So, even if I am a crocodile, even if my voice doesn't matter much, I just want to say that I am sorry, and that I'm trying to educate both myself and others on this issue.
This post exists to do that, and hopefully inspire other men to read the comics from Projet Crocodile. Please, guys. Educate yourselves. Do something.
Ranting.
The absolute thoughtlessness of some people. Learn some empathy, would ya ?
I can relate so much it kind of hurts...
Dark Souls Rant
Damn it. After years away from Dark Souls on Xbox 360, because I couldn’t beat Chaos Witch Quelaag no matter how many times I tried, I start a new playthrough on PC. It’s tough, I’ve died more times than I could count, but I surprised myself by managing to beat every main game boss (did not play the DLC yet). I finally make it to Gwyn, Lord of Cinder, which, given the rather poor framerate on a 7 year-old laptop, is an achievement in itself. And I can’t beat Gwyn. The bastard’s flaming sword takes its toll on my framerate, making the already risky gamble of parrying his attacks near impossible. I don’t know how to parry and counterattack in this game, and I’ve never needed to to find a way to beat enemies with minimal health loss. But the blasted Lord of Cinder is a relentless boss with unlimited stamina. He keeps on attacking, rarely lets up, and blocking uses up my stamina in three hits max. So I figured I should try dodging attacks. I’m usually fairly good at identifying the moments to dodge an attack, but bad framerate makes this, like parrying, near impossible. So I figured I would do something I don’t like to do: using the arena setup to block his attacks, when it was never intended to be used in that way. Using the columns for cover when fighting Ornstein and Smough was acceptable, as you could clearly tell that there were here for that reason. But using mounds and small rock spikes that are clearly here for decoration ? That’s cheap, to me. But I decide to resort to that, as Dark Souls has a way of making you think that everything is fair game after a while. But even that doesn’t work as well as I had expected, as even if put up a better fight that way (heh), he still beats me senseless. And again, I have to deal with bad framerate, which makes an already hard fight even harder to. What is it going to take to beat this old blasted geezer ? I mean, he’s incredibly old, according to lore, and linking the First Flame has taken its toll on his abilities, says the lore of the game. And i’m still getting massacred by a crippled old man figure in an already unforgiving game ! Gwyn, Lord of Cinders, they say you were a God. No wonder I’m a fucking atheist then. You prick.
Pretending, or?
Someone wrote, on their Facebook page, “I’m good at pretending”. And I wondered “Aren’t we all?”. We all pretend. In some way, we all do. I pretend. I have to. I can’t afford to let people see just how insecure and prone to negativity I can be. I can’t afford to be so vulnerable. So I pretend, adopt traits and attitudes when in social situations. I couldn’t let my underclassmen, whom I’ve gotten to meet today in class after a semester abroad, see how negative and vulnerable I can be, so I pretended. I showed them only the side of me I wanted them to see, the upbeat, sassy, but nice upperclassman ready to offer help if need be. I wanted them to see me as the nice, sassy comic-book nerd with a Venom T-shirt. I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not. When I pretend, I merely emphasize certains aspects of me that ARE there to begin with, but aren’t necessarily as pronounced as I make them out to be. I’m not sassy every minute of the day, even if I think I might enjoy that. I pretend that I’m confident, because I really am not - I’m awkward as fuck, but I do a pretty good job of pretending that I’m not. I pretend that I am calm and composed whenever I do a presentation, because, at the beginning of each and everyone of them, I’m thinking about running away, until I gradually calm down and compose myself naturally - until I become what I pretend to be. Don’t we all do that? Isn’t that part of being human in our society? Don’t we HAVE to become good at pretending, so that we can go on everyday and hope to become what we yearn to be? I think we do.
BOOYAH
Now that is interesting !
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” Let’s have a look at how I lived, then, judging by these standards. I loved a lot, but after failing to keep any sort of romantic relationship more than a few months, after dealiing with some pretty nasty betrayals and disappointments from people I called my friends, and causing the very best friend I’ve ever had immense grief when I realized that I didn’t reciprocate her feelings and that I instead fell in love with one of her friends. Seeing as loving people, even within my family, mostly ended up causing me grief, disappointment, and even straight-up depression in the end, I’m trying not to love too much, for fear of causing or experiencing suffering if it gets out of control. How gently did I live ? Not all that gently, in all honesty. I want to think that I used to be a gentle child overall. Not perfect, but ultimately a gentle kid. But after being abandoned by my father, abused for years by a stepfather, and bullied for years, I did away with gentleness for a while, because I did not know how else to survive, and did have moments where I was more of a bully than anything else. I tried to keep my teasing to acceptable levels, and would tease people whom I knew had friends to step in and tell me to shut up when i went too far and crossed a line. Still, I haven’t been the gentle sort of person for about a decade, and even if my lifestyle is now, overall, the gentle kind, I still can’t bring myself to consider that I’ve lived a gentle life. How gracefully did I let go of what was not meant for me ? When you learn to give up things that should have been meant for you, like the right to a father who is there to help you become an adult, or the happy childhood every kid ought to have, or to see your mother get the happiness she deserves, you can do away with what was not meant for you pretty gracefully, no matter how much it kills you on the inside to realize that the woman you loved so much is not meant to be happy with you, or to realize that you don’t get to have people you called friends remember your birthday, of all things. Yeah, I can be pretty fucking graceful in accepting that there’s so much that I don’t get to have, but make no mistake, it kills me on the inside whenever I have to let go of something that is, yet again, not meant for me. I may look a bit resignated and sad, and yet accepting on the outside, but if you knew how much it kills me inside, each time a bit more than the last... Yeah, there’s this one thing that’s meant just for me that I’d love to let go if I could, and that’s the pain I feel each time that happens. So, judging by that, I can conclude that the life I’ve lived ain’t worth shit. Well, I’ll be damned. Too afraid to love, couldn’t live as gently as I should’ve, and torn up over all that I’ve had to gracefully let go. Yeah, good life.
Again, one of the perks of this Tumblr account is that I have very few followers, so I can quite literally write about whatever I want without any negative feedback. So, tonight, I’m going to write about the Paris attacks that happened just a week ago. If you wonder why, it probably has to do with the fact that I am French, that people I know came really close to dying, that some of my friends literally saved their own lives by deciding not to attend the Eagles of Death Metal concert at the Bataclan despite badly wanting to. Or it could very well have to do with the fact that people at my home university were at that concert and died, and even if I didn’t know them personally, it still hits close to home. Or it could have to do with the fact that while I am currently in the US, the overwhelming majority of the people I know and care about lives around or in Paris. Or it could have to do with the fact that I spend most of my time in Paris, when I’m in France, and that even if I claim otherwise, I’m very much attached to this city after all. In any case, last Friday, all of us French people with connections to Paris experienced a living nightmare, much like what people in Beyrut experienced the same week. My life was never in danger, but the lives of people I care about, for hours, could have been in danger. Uncertainty, the inability to know whether they were safe - that was the nightmare I went through. Of course, this is nothing compared to the people who died, to the people who actually lost someone they love. I wouldn’t even argue with that, because I already know that I have been very lucky not to lose anyone I care about. And yet, since that night, I barely sleep. I stay up all night, trying to figure out what happened, thinking about the events of that bloody Friday the 13th. During the very first nights after the attacks, I couldn’t stop trembling. I even broke down and cried while writing an e-mail to my mother to tell her that I missed her and that I was afraid for her and everyone else. It has been a week, and I’ve missed most of my classes at college, because I fall asleep in the mornings, once I’m too exhausted to stay up. I wake up in the afternoons, once it’s too late to go to class. And when I could manage to go to class, that was because I didn’t sleep at all. I know it’s not healthy, that I need to talk to people, to get counseling. But what I need is to go back to France and see with my own eyes that the people I care about are alive and as well as can be. But I can’t, because I’m doing a semester abroad, and I have to complete it to get credits, because I litteraly spent most of my savings to do that. So I have to try to finish it first, even though I could care less right now. That’s what my daily life has been like for the past week. A mess. I try to act like I’m fine, but I’m not. I’m scarred, now. Scared, and scarred.
Life Is Strange Episode 4
I thought I felt bad at the end of Episode 3 - little did I know what Episode 4 had in store for me. Good thing Episode 5 will probably take at least two months to come out, because I’m going to need some time digesting it all...
Time Is Strange
Yes, this is a blatant reference to Life Is Strange. You know, the game that puts you in the shoes of slightly introverted high school student Maxine “Max” Caufield, a student at the fictional Blackwell Academy in Arcadia Bay, Oregon, who discovers by accident that she can rewind time. So, if you haven’t played the full game, please read no further, unless you want to be spoiled. In other words, SPOILER ALERT ! Still reading ? Well then... In episode 3, “Chaos Theory”, Max eventually and unknowingly travels back to when she was thirteen years old by looking at a photograph she had of herself and Chloe taken moments before Chloe’s father died in a car accident. Max, knowing how much Chloe suffered when she lost her father, decides that her father must be saved, and at this point, seeing how gentle Chloe’s father is, you don’t even think otherwise. So, you save him, and by doing so, you completely alter the timeline. You wake up at the present time, 5 years after the accident that finally never happened, and realized that everything has changed. Victoria acts like she’s your best friend, Warren is dating Stella, and while William, Chloe’s father, is alive and well, Chloe is not quite so well off. Sure, her dad’s alive, she never had to mourn his death, never had a veteran probably suffering from PTSD for a stepfather, never turned to dying her hair blue or to getting tattoos, and clearly, she never smoked weed. The biggest change of all is that she is now in a wheelchair. Happy to see you when you visit her, but in a wheelchair, meaning she has at least lost the use of her legs, if not worse. Understandably, at that moment, you share Max’s horrified, remorseful expression, her ‘What have I done” face. I found myself thinking about the way time changed, about how Max’s original timeline was completely altered - and it reminded me of what DC Comics had done with their Flashpoint Paradox, when The Flash, by altering a single moment in time, modified all the events after that, and perhaps even before, with Bruce Wayne dying instead of his parents, and Thomas Wayne becoming a Batman with no qualms about killing, with Superman not landing in Smallville but right in Metropolis and being taken in by the government, and so on and so forth. Basically, The Flash had “broken the time barrier” as Zoom states, and by basically “detonating” a time bomb, shifted all other events just tiny bit - like a stone dropped in water creates ripples. Of course, at this point, I lack enough elements and knowledge to make a definite claim, but if that is the theory about time travel and chronal modification that the devs of Life Is Strange decided to follow, then it’s pretty impressive. Can’t wait to see what Episode 4 has in store for us, to be honest. Although, Chloe being crippled did shock me a lot. I rarely felt that guilty and remorseful in life, let alone in games...
Internalizing
Being an introvert for the most part, I have a strong tendency to internalize everything, especially the bad things that happen to me and the negative feelings resulting from such things. I don’t want to show any weakness, I don’t want to feel vulnerable. But that’s not exactly a good thing. I should let these things out, express these negative feelings I keep inside me at all times. I should find someone to talk to, I guess, or channel these feelings into some activity, I guess.
I wrote/sang lyrics to the Gravity Falls theme song since I just love this show forever so here’s a short cover! (Art used)
There’s something more to this That we have missed Things around here are suspicious Who can we put our trust in? What have they all been hiding? Secrets that lie in shadow How much do they all know? A place so full of mystery Is just a puzzle to be solved
Woah
I was not prepared for how great this is
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS I’M IN LITERAL TEARS GOD IS REAL
Just because you don’t get to see that every so often =D
Damn I REBLOGGED This so FAST… and will keep doing it…
So real! And the public and media ignored this fact for the longest!
Wow!!!!! I will reblog this every time I see it.
Relationships ?
To the seven people following this meager Tumblr of mine, I'll probably be ranting about the fact that being in a relationship is not a goal in life for everybody. If it ever happens to not be to your liking, feel free to ignore it, I promise I won't feel offended in any way. If you're still reading, then, without further ado, let's do this. I've lived 23 years (and a few months, to be exact) and I happen to have experienced life in such a way that I've grown to not care much for relationships in the past year. Be it friends, whom I almost never call now, and whom I had never relied on to begin with, or lovers, considering that I've been single for about a year and a half after a relationship that left me emotionally devastated for a few months.
As much as possible, I try to learn from my experiences and from the mistakes I have made. And so I did. I thought about it a lot, tried to view things from different perspectives, and I concluded that, while I was only partially responsible (50/50, I guess) for the end of my relationship, that my faults mainly lie with my attitude towards myself and my expectations. As such, I came to think that I should probably take some time off the whole "I want to have a fulfilling relationship" to try and determine what exactly should be done, like learning to have some proper self-respect and self-appreciation before setting on a journey to find someone. What actually happened is that I ended up questioning my expectations. What do I want from a relationship ? Something serious, something that I feel involved in, not just a fling or something not exactly serious. But at the same time, as an introvert, I need some time off, to myself. And I don't think that many girls my age have the same expectations as I do - or when they do, it's not with me, but after dating me. And because I am a self-centered introvert guy lacking proper confidence, I ended up thinking that, to girls, I have only ever been the "overall good guy we can love but not the one we wish to have something lasting with". And since I know girls have a lot to deal with on their own, and because I don't want to think like a bastard, I make it a point to try not to blame anyone. Whether I always manage or not to do so is another story. So, I thought about my priorities about life, and I ended up with the following thought : I don't actually care that much for a relationship. Considering that I don't feel like I have more confidence or self-appreciation, I'd probably do the same mistakes again, and considering that I don't want to date a girl that may not take me as seriously as I'd like her to, I've started looking much more positively on being single. Of course, I still miss all the things that make a relationship something extraordinary, but I don't feel that these things are worth risking emotional devastation in the long run. At least, I haven't met a girl who could make me feel otherwise lately, and I haven't had any experience so positive that they made me change my self depreciating views completely
I guess that what I want to say is, I feel more comfortable on my own, and I don't want either a girl not committed enough to hurt me again, nor do I want to possibly hurt a girl who could be committed enough. All in all, I'm better left alone at the moment - until I get a life-changing experience or experience love at first sight again, I guess.
Lets keep reblogging this…..She needs to be home with her family…
SIGNAL BOOST!!!!
BOOSTING! Her mom made the above post yesterday. This is going on right now.
I DON’T CARE IF THIS DOESN’T MATCH YOUR BLOG JUST PLEASE HELP OUT THEIR FAMILY