world’s first certified gay robot

CD | he/it | 23 i like to scroll on my phone and type on my computer

[sketchdeath]

i lied. were not having sex. put on the jacob geller video

[pankendev]

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

[hitmyvape]

Actually embarrassing I have to send this text to the work gc

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[akashicrecord]

Commenting "may this type of love never find me" under your high school classmates engagement photos

[default-cube]

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

[segamascott]

not me it's get a bag thursday 💯🔥😤

[dogwoodbite]

(guy who doesnt even like dating) ok well does anyone want to get entranced by my whole deal or no.

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[shirecorn]

Fascinating categorization is happening here

[memorycycle]

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[ripempezardexerox]

[phillip-bankss]

I'm sorry your parents named you Philip ☹ I could name you something better

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[bluestockingbaby]

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations

[headspace-hotel]

[lakevida]

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

[lakevida]

your majesty what is upppp

[deadeyesopened]

[felipeiv]

[6mayhem]

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

[quinnactually]

that's MS. substance abuser to you

[6mayhem]

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head