The Best I Have to Offer

I could be wrong about this, but I don’t think that I am. To be fair, I normally don’t think I’m wrong when I am, but I got a really good feeling about this one. - Mike Falzone

[malcolm-f-tucker]

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

[malcolm-f-tucker]

Happy 10th birthday to this, my post of all time. Glad to have spent the last 10+ years wasting my time on tumblr with you all 💖

[mevil]

[messican133]

There is no Love on that island

[coldestcaress]

Fuckin Phantom of the Dive Bar here

[importantcatpics]

[holesinmyhead]

did you have the dream i sent you?

[ipomoea-nil]

what’s really amazing to me is that people are so afraid of body hair on women that even in a shaving commercial they won’t show a hairy leg. they demonstrate the razor by shaving a hairless leg. they show their product being completely useless instead of showing leg hair. it’s just crazy

[archived1998-deactivated2024030]

You can always make a post that says "my pussy tastes like PlayStation"

[waitingforthet]

I only watched the first three seasons, there’s only so far this parody can go.

[waitingforthet]

wait, I remembered one more thing I know about Supernatural

[willgrahamscock]

Oh here we go. What new fucking gender is that flag in your bio

THE HUNGARIAN FLAG???

[willgrahamscock]

happy pride hungary

[crochethub]

My sister made me a pigeon satchel to forever fuel my unhealthy obsession with this neglected species. by UnpreparedSugar

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

[clowniconography]

wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[homunculus-argument]

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

[miss-hexatrix]

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

[pangur-and-grim]

always doing something annoying

[pangur-and-grim]

can I be honest? I was so pissed off by friends and family criticizing my soap choice that, for half a year, I did an experiment where I washed one hand with Palmolive and one with handsoap, to prove that it didn't make your skin any rougher. and do you know what the result is? it does make your skin rougher. and now I'm even more pissed off.

[heavilyglacialvalhalla]

I love this. This is the beauty of the honest scientific process. You had an idea, you tested it and you still reported the results even though the results disproved your idea.

It's ok to be mad at it, you're an honest scientist.

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[themummersfolly]

How dare you leave this in the tags.