Who is the douche in the shades?

only the coolest motherfucker you’ve ever met. only im not even real so youve never really met me. god, i am so sorry about that.

[turnways-gestalt]

intro post lets get it

im motherfuckin ds

facts about me:

they/them

old enough to rent a car

local god

master of rhymes

valadicktorian of the school of irony

sweetest bro and hellaest jeff

bisexual icon

et cetera

tags:

#dspost - my stuff

#swords - swords

#sords - sords

#homestuck - homestuck

anyways im moving to this blog from my host @thebigcj so unfortunately im already used to tumblr

askblog @ask-ds-and-nepeta

edit: some trans bullshit happened to i guess im nyanbinary or whatever

[snout]

people on this site will make the biggest scene whenever any of the crystal gems has the tiniest flaw but i don’t see ANYBODY talking about all of the innocent people steven callously stabs per episode ..? :/

[snout]

it seems like almost every time i watch the show i’m like, great, another steven’s knife episode. it’s like, enough? we get it??

[boxghost]

is this what steven universe fans concern themselves with

[snout]

its important, what kind of message is this to send to children? kids are gonna watch this and think that stabbing people is okay just because steven brutally, mercilessly slaughters his fellow Beach City residents by the dozen every single episode and nobody is there to tell him no. There too afraid of the knife

[boxghost]

yall ever watch like. grim adventures. or. anything like that lmfaooo

[snout]

the only “grim adventures” ive ever seen are steven universe’s bloodthirsty massacres, when he stamps out entire villages using his famous trusty knife, in every episode of the show steven universe. men, women, children, steven doesn’t care . It Just How He Gets his Jollies

[galaxywarp]

[pjackk]

The haters and other dolts have try to cancel me yet they keep coming back like stupid little kittens with there mouth dry, from no milk! Well i will feed your loser ass,because i love you

[notedchampagne]

dog looking at shawarma

[rathayibacter]

movie title: DICK GRINDER

scene one: dimly lit night scene where a character we'll never see again gets his dick mutilated by what is implied to be a sentient meat grinder

scene two: daytime. our protagonist is wearing glasses and giving a lecture to a class of bored high school or college students. "what.. is... a meat grinder?" he looks around the classroom expectantly, then begins writing on the chalkboard. "and would it feel good... to fuck one?"

[bowelfly]

Big Suit Bittern

[gachimushi]

Same as it ever was.

[apcqlypse]

in a world where authenticity is increasingly punished being corny really is the greatest form of rebellion we have. to be cringe IS to be free

[brfran]

this is my favorite video of all time

[1964worldfair]

I headcanon Peter Griffin as Cisgender Heterosexual. Your profile picture is very offensive to the cissies. Thank you.

HES CANONICALLY TRANS

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[peachfromcmbyn]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[parakeet]

has anyone else noticed they still havent invented a pocket dimension where time stands still where one can go to sort their shit out? so you just have to either try in this go go go ass world to find the time, or die unresolved? just something i've noticed.

[eebie]

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro

[dykescully]

me trying to remember what newfoundlands are called earlier: big dog he's an island

[dykescully]

big dog he's an island :)

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[sport-news-daily]

*watching a race* god theyre going around in a circle again !? have they learned NOTHING

[sniperct]

[outofcontexttomodachilife]

(submitted by @imanexistentialcrisis)