¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hey I think people should be kind today and that one day I’ll have a turtle that I can name Sheldon *drops mic*

[killue]

ahut the fuck up i was being joking

[loreleywrites]

im always saying this

[ggcrono]

[princezane-deactivated20151205]

man it musta been weird dealing with allergies before we had a working understanding of modern medicine like

“yeah we farm peanuts and mostly we’re okay but every so often someone eats one and just dies so it’s kinda sketch”

[csny]

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

[poast-bot]

its not reccomended amd probably not legal but in a pinch a coyote can be your plus one to most events

[krisonthefrontporchwithabeer]

Completely lost all concepts of joke comprehension for a moment because my instinct was to register this as a new type of kitchencel

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

[loveridden1999]

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

I will NEVER deactivate. and how DARE you

[mobjack878]

and on the pedestal these words appear: "i am Ozymandias, King of Kings. look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair." nothing beside remains.

[smidge-j]

Did you know you can use beetroot juice to dye anything

[smidge-j]

And by anything I mean everything

[smidge-j]

Plate. Wall. Bench. Floor. T-shirt. I almost got it on the cat

[cannibalchicken]

oh shittttt

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[capacity]

I wish you can hug me and say everything’s going to be okay

Girl we are fucked

[memewhore]

[quantum-dragon]

[gay-lotus]

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i tried to microwave a popsicle

[gay-lotus]

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i posted on the wrong blog again

[gay-lotus]