T W I S T O F F.

❝ Attempted suicide gets you more ass than a toilet seat. . . ❞ mun & muse 19+ / multi-verse & ship

[whambamthankyoubram]

more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

[twiistoff-blog]

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[sexlessrpmemes]

Platonic Cuddling/Bed-sharing Starters!

“C’mere – I am an amazing big spoon.”

“You’re so short! How can you expect to be the big spoon?”

“I’ve.. never been the little spoon before.” 

“You’re softer than a pillow…”

“Everyone thinks this is so intimate, being in bed together… I just want to sleep.”

“Can you scratch my back? It always helps me sleep.”

“Ahh, you’re like my personal bedwarmer! So warm…”

“Jeez, why are you so hot!”

“I talk in my sleep, just so you know.”

“Why are you so far away? Scoot closer.”

“That’s my favorite pillow! Give it back!”

Bonus; the morning after!

“My favorite part of last night was definitely you snoring in my ear.”

“How is it that you’re so small, but still managed to take up all of the bed?”

“Good morning! I’ve made breakfast, here –”

“Could’ve warned me you talk in your sleep.”

[maharielavellan-archive-blog]

Do you ever think about your OTP having muffled, rough sex against a wall

Because I do

[twiistoff-blog]

@whiskeystained

[twiistoff-blog]

Did you sleep at all last night? You look like hell.

{   Sick Day RP Starters !  }

@atomgun​

at this moment in time, claire couldn’tfind the will inside of her to lie. with herface buried in her hands she shook her head.her voice was muffled,

❝ Nope. ❞she inhaled sharply as her head lifted,❝ My mom she-                            she was kind of having                            a breakdown last night.   I tried by best to calm her down but   I fucking couldn’t this time. I just had   to ride that shit out ‘til she got tired.  ❞

[angstmemes]

worried starters

trigger warnings apply! ( mental illness, drugs and alcohol use, self-destructive behaviours, and vomiting )

“You haven’t slept for days, have you?” “Are you eating properly? You don’t look it.” “Why do you keep stumbling over your words? Just how tired are you?” “You need to think about yourself every once in a while.” “I know your work is important, but you’re going to end up in hospital if you go on like this!” “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?” “You look so… empty. I’m worried for you, please talk to me.” “Are you alright in there? You’re so quiet.” “How did you get these bruises? Please don’t lie to me.” “There’s something bothering you that you’re not telling me and I can see it slowly destroying you. What happened?” “You’re sleep deprived and you haven’t been eating. Why do you think you’re feeling dizzy?” “I can give you some pills to help you sleep. They aren’t healthy, but this is even less healthy.” “If you didn’t just blink I would’ve sworn you were dead, that’s how sickly you’re looking. Go to bed, please!” “Have you drank all of these bottles in one weekend?!” “I know you don’t want this, but it’s for your own good. Sign the papers so they can pick you up tomorrow and you can get clean.” “What the hell are you doing?! Did you do that to yourself?!” “When was the last time you left the house? Or opened the curtains for that matter.” “Here, just keep breathing. It’ll be okay. Better out than in…” “This can’t go on like this! You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, you barely talk!” “I’m sorry. I went through your room and found this. Explain what the hell this is doing in your room!” “I thought you’d quit! How long have you been lying to me?” “I’m only trying to help and right now I think I have a much better idea of what you need than you do.” “Did you take anything? Why are you passing out? Hey! Stay with me!”

[dustyrpmemes-blog]

Sick day rp starters

Here, take some medicine.

I got you something for your head.

Want me to make you some soup?

I made you something to eat, c’mon, at least try it.

How’re you feeling?

You don’t look so good, maybe you should sit down.

Did you sleep at all last night? You look like hell.

Yeah, you’re burning up. Lay down, I’ll get you some medicine. 

Gross! You got puke on my shoes.

If you’re going to vomit at least do it away from me.

Just sleep, you need it. I’ll still be here when you wake up.

Don’t worry about getting me sick, I’ll be fine. 

Nope, you’re going back to bed. Shoo. Go.

You’re not leaving the house like this, we’ll reschedule our plans.

Cover your mouth when you cough, geeze. 

[twiistoff-blog]

@whiskeystained LOOK IT’S ALYSSA IN HER TRUE FORM

[twiistoff-blog]

( @whiskeystained liked for a starter ! )

tiptoeing was a skill claire had been perfecting for as long as she could remember. she had been able to get past her mom and her mom’s slew of shit boyfriends for years now. though- mrs. winslow could be a totally different story. that woman had so many kids this troublemaker wasn’t sure how easily she would be able to navigate the dark house without being caught..                                        but she did feel a bit bad. kelli had taken her in, and she was... going behind her back? claire wasn’t sure what to call it. it wasn’t like she was technically breaking any rules, since she wasn’t sneaking out. she was sneaking I N.  with a carefully twist of the wrist she creaked open the other girl’s door, her lips fighting back a smile. 

‘Be cool, Paxton. This girl is way outta your league !’

“ Psst-  ”

she hissed into the dim room, her bare feet padding gently past the door so she wouldn’t be stuck out in the hall. not to mention, her garb didn’t fare well in  the chilly house. she had been debating reevaluating  her choice of short-shorts and a tanktop as her sleeping attire.              to be fair-                                  it didn’t matter when she was is alyssa’s bed. “ Lyssa?                  You awake ?                                          Or did I walk aaaaaall the way here for nothing ? ”

claire giggled lightly at her own ridiculous whispers as she shut door with a gentle click. she was waiting for a response before  moving any closer, rocking on her heels to calm her nerves. 

[horrificmemes]

To celebrate October, ask the mun about spooky Autumn things!

Send a number (or a few) for me to talk to you about Halloween/horror-related and Autumn-related favorites!

Favorite scary movie

Favorite Halloween (not necessarily scary) movie

Favorite Halloween costume I’ve worn

Halloween costume I want to dress as but haven’t yet

My ultimate dream Halloween costume

Favorite character from a Halloween movie

Favorite spooky novel

Favorite scary video game

Favorite classic movie/book monster

Best memory from a past Halloween

Favorite Autumn drink

Favorite Autumn food/treat

What I’d love to carve into a pumpkin

Best pumpkin design I’ve ever carved/plan on carving

Do you do anything special for Halloween?

Do you enjoy bonfires, or have you ever attended one?

Favorite scary story or legend

Favorite Halloween candy

Do you like going to Halloween stores?

If you do go to Halloween stores, do you buy anything or just look around?

If you wear costumes, do you make your own costumes or purchase them? 

Have you ever gone to a Haunted House attraction?

Have you ever gone to a corn maze?

How about a pumpkin patch?

What did you always wish you could dress up as when you were a kid?

Do you ever partake in a nice leaf pile jump?

Do you call apples covered in sweets: caramel apples, candy apples, toffee apples, or something else?

Tell a spooky campfire story (if you have one)

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever had an experience?

If you live in a climate where the trees change colors, do you like walking/driving around and looking at them?

Do you decorate your home for Halloween? 

Do you hand out candy on Halloween, have/attend parties, or do something else?

If you could be any legendary monster, what would you be?

[allisonchesley]

Visit Original Link

Me, I’m used to being tired and bloody,

but you believed that I could be somebody.

You put your world on hold for me,

gave away to follow failure through the fire.

[bowties-and-sweetdreams]

[twiistoff-blog]

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[twiistoff-blog]

❝ i’m a real vampire. ❞

autumn/halloween sentence starters! 

@atomgun

“ Shit.              That’s pretty fuckin’ cool.” there wasn’t a shred of doubt on her face as shenods with a smile. she sheds her jacket despite thechill in the air, along with her shirt.  probably lookedfucking insane to a passerby, but thankfully therewasn’t anyone around.  as she’s tugging her jeansoff, she looks up at the most-likely confused girlin front of her,“ Pretty sure we’re supposed to be mortal  enemies or whatever but                             who fucking cares, right ?   Watch this. ”  her eyebrows raise as she grins and before she canblink again, her form has changed. 

her tail is wagging as fast as it can as she sits downin front of caelan. 

[twiistoff-blog]

Kinky, for Aly and Claire!

Inbox me; “Kinky…” and I’ll generate a number between 1 - 70.Number: 57 “Our muses have sleepy morning sex.“

whatever hazy feeling of exhaustion she had been feeling when her eyes fluttered open notmany minutes ago was completely gone. it wasreplaced by the sheer heat emanating from hergirlfriend as her own lips met alyssa’s gently. the warmth was filling her veins in the still morning,as she was straddling the redhead, the sheets pooledbehind her. claire’s gray tank top was growing bothersomeas she had been laying kisses on every inch of the otherwoman she could see. with a swift lift of her arms claire’stop half was totally bare. the grin on her lips was unmatchedas she leaned down again, gently kissing along alyssa’sjaw.  “ Morning. . . ”her eyes flickered up to meet the gaze of her partner’s as hersmile grew. it was only the morning, so there was no need to berough quite yet. her thumb came up to brush softly againsther girlfriend’s cheek, running across her favorite freckles beforecupping it with her palm.   “ Somehow-                          You are extra fucking cute in the morning,     did you know that ? ”

[twiistoff-blog]

( @whiskeystained liked for a starter ! )

there’s a tightness working its way through her chest as she  lies through her teeth to the older woman in front of her. 

“ Oh-               this ?  ”

she’s looking at the darkening bruise on wrist that she had gotten from a particularly nasty spat at school with someone who dared to call her by her undesirable nickname.  “ I fell. I’m a fucking clutz, if you didn’t already know.   So it’s nothin’ to worry about Mrs. Winslow.  ” 

she was tempted to tell the truth only because the damn thing hurt like a bitch. it was more-than-likely sprained, or fractured, and if she wanted any assistance she would have to either take bus or walk to the nearest clinic a l o n e.

[memekinking]

Inbox me; "Kinky..." and I'll generate a number between 1 - 70.

VERY NSFW!! 18+ ONLY!!

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