TwinkedIn

gay professional networking for sugar daddies and power bottoms

[funnylime]

why my hand shaky

[sundial911]

your skeleton is ready to hatch

[funnylime]

this is so fucking ominous thank you

[8168708]

my art peaked wen i was 4 or so and would just throw whatever shit i could find (juice, rainwater, plants, moss, shells, dirt, sugar, soap, rocks, milk, toys etc.) in2 a bucket n stir it with a wooden spoon 4 hours sitting in th garden n wen som1 would ask me wot th fuck i was doing i would b like “Potion”

[5u5]

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

[daisiesandbumblebees]

please see a gynecologist

[cryptiboy]

the addams family wasn’t particularly magic or supernatural or anything, their goth game was just hard af

[myliobatiste]

They lived with a sentient disembodied hand

[trukingofskeletonhell]

that’s just how goths are sometimes

[powerfulwizard]

If god wanted us to be heterosexual, he wouldn’t have made boys… like that.

[powerfulwizard]

This is a post for both MLM and WLW.

[marisatomay]

me, talking about some twins: and they were wombmates

[thegenderqueerbatman]

oh my god they were wombmates

[gatsbygal]

Forgot to show y’all this toy I found ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[dajo42]

why are my hands cold but not the rest of me

[bluelivesaintshit]

The ghosts are holding your hands

[dajo42]

how romantic……

[whomst]

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

[misandristabbacchio-remade-deac]

i lose my shit at this post every time

[v171]

One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.

So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.

I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.

Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.

After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”

I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.

We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.

[que-mystery]

I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS

[breefolk-hates-staff]

“He died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.”

[warandpeas]

Cute Baby

[jungkooksan]

Mean Girls Deleted Scene - School Dance Bathroom [x]

[imyellintimberrr]

this is like finding a lost chapter in the bible

[veganangel]

Carnists: So you’re a vegan?

Me: Hoe don’t do it.

Carnists: Where do you get your protein?????

Me: Oh my god.

[softestwings-moved-deactivated2]

why are people who control the rides at carnivals asking you where you get your protein from

[vintagegeekculture]

[amanatsumikan]

[f13nds]

c’mon yellowstone national park let’s get sickening 

[rpgcrossing]

Our Roomba ate some dog shit and died a horrible death. It lived for 3 days. RIP Cleaningslut

[msjessicaday]

IM ACTUALL YCRYIGN