rin

any pronouns | 20

[tyblackthornsheadphones]

welcome !

about me: my name is rin. i’m autistic, bisexual, and genderfluid (any pronouns). i’m a jew in progress (hopeful convert) <3

fandoms: the shadowhunters chronicles (books only), criminal minds, the grishaverse, marvel, stranger things, the last of us, marauders

other accounts: blessthecomeandstarefamily (shadowhunters spam), karinasrebloglibrary (fic reblog account)

my masterlist | my ko-fi

for my fanfic recommendations: #rin’s recs

for my random thoughts/posts: #rin’s rambles

[cassandraclare]

i had a question about kit - by the end of qoaad it seems like he's less resentful of ty and his choices/doesn't blame him and is more embarrassed about how he felt like he was important to ty and almost blames himself for it too, but as time has passed it seems like that anger has returned? i was wondering if that means his resentment was repressed in qoaad and has grown over time as he's processed the situation more and pinpointed exactly what has hurt him (as much as he can while avoiding it at the same time 😭) or if he's redirecting some of his insecurity and hurt into anger as a way to avoid fully coming to terms with it 🙇‍♀️ unless this is directly dealt with in tlkof!! (very very excited for it omgjskdks)

Keep in mind Kit isn't just mad at Ty — they are mad at each other! That said, I don't think Kit is ever really "over it" at the end of Queen of Air and Darkness. He's just in a different emotional place than he was earlier in the book.

What might look like "being less resentful" is in part resignation. Kit is to some extent resigned at the end of QoAaD; he leaves believing that's probably the end of his and Ty's story. He'll miss Ty, eventually he'll stop missing him so much, and life will move on.

The problem is... it doesn't.

His feelings for Ty don't get smaller. They don't fade into the background the way he imagined they would. So the hurt doesn't disappear either. If anything, there's something especially painful about realizing that time isn't fixing what you thought time would fix, and that doesn't make Kit less angry in the end, it makes him more angry.

So I wouldn't say Kit's anger disappeared and then came back. I'd say the hurt never really went away. As he realizes that Ty still matters to him just as much as he always did, it's only natural that some of those feelings would, as you said, "redirect some of his insecurity and hurt into anger." Love and anger are often much closer together than we'd like to admit, given that they are both intense feelings. If he'd forgiven and forgotten Ty there wouldn't be much coming back from that — he'd just be indifferent to him.

And it's not that he's just mad about being hurt. He's mad because what Ty did put Ty in terrible danger, Kit was warned about that, and he's furious that Ty didn't care about his own life as much as Kit did. I'll give you a little of what Kit thinks himself in TWP:

"That mix of hurt, fear for Ty, and anger that Kit had felt by the lake years ago had never totally faded from memory. Kit had been hurt since. Angry since. Sometimes angry and hurt at the same time, sometimes even with Jem and Tessa. He knew that breaking feeling of believing the people you loved most in the world had let you down, even in small ways, even with misunderstandings. Kit had come to Jem and Tessa a little broken, and even if they had done what they could to help put him back together, some of the sharp edges where the breaks had happened could still be weapons. And sometimes Kit had used them."

[jewish-sideblog]

Ashkenazim are white. When I was in elementary school I was bullied by white kids who assumed I was Mexican. But Ashkenazim are white.

In high school theatre, I was cast as whatever vaguely foreign side characters were in the script, because my theatre teacher said I was “ethically ambiguous”. But Ashkenazim are white.

At my first job, a coworker asked me what country I came from, and refused to believe my ancestors were Ukrainian. She thought I was Māori. But Ashkenazim are white.

A few months after 9/11, my mother was stranded at the airport for five hours. My father was supposed to pick her up, and Homeland Security at the arrivals gate thought he looked Arab enough to detain. But Ashkenazim are white.

So if white supremacists ever attack your synagogue, don’t worry! They wouldn’t want to kill you. Ashkenazim are white, remember?

[jewish-sideblog]

genuine question are you illiterate

[jewish-sideblog]

huh. ok.

[ofchaosgoddess]

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

[nothereforthedrama]

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

[freegazafromhamas]

Hearing people describe Ashkenazi Jews as "white" meanwhile I've literally had a black-skinned Hijabi acquaintance come right up to me in college and wish me Eid Mubarak.

I've been variably pinned as Turkish, Arab, Greek, and Lebanese. Or failing that, quizzical looks from people asking me "What ethnicity are you? You don't quite look white but I can't tell what."

I look like somebody whose ancestors are from the Levant. And that's because my ancestors are from the Levant. I have tanned skin, thick dark eyebrows, thick dark curly beard. People say I look like I come from some Mediterranean country because my ancestors do in fact come from some Mediterranean country.

[stjohnstarling]

The reason most indie novels are written like the author is terrified of doing something wrong is because the overwhelming majority of indie novelists get their start by networking in the violent panopticon of the social media indie publishing community, which favours the people who are able to win at the social policing game.

[3s-are-green]

Okay so this comment got me googling because I hadn't heard of Isabel Fall

And if you also hadn't heard of her go read this because uhh... Holy Shit

[headspace-hotel]

I had heard of the whole messed up situation with this story, but I hadn't ever read the synopsis of the story before, and WOW

This story sounds like it could have been a brilliant exploration of gender and warfare and violence but instead it was attacked by people who didn't know how to confront a story that made them uncomfortable, and the author faced horrible consequences.

It's so important to be able to deal with stories that give you uncomfortable feelings in other ways than just attacking it. Being shown new perspectives sometimes has feelings of discomfort because it's an unfamiliar way of seeing the world.

[mickpin]

You can read it Here

[headspace-hotel]

...

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

For the love of God, please read this story. It is so fucking good in ways that I can't even begin to articulate.

[goingrampant]

Isabel Fall alluded to Nazi concepts in an edgy ambiguous Nazisploitation aesthetic that, if you read it in good faith, you could tell was ultimately in subversion of those concepts. However, the general sentiment of edgy South Parkian ambiguity caused the hypersensitive leftist critics to read her as a Nazi as a baseline assumption. It's the same phenomenon as The Boys viewers reading the (very Jewish) show as Nazi because of the presence of a likable Nazi character. Any attempt to put the brakes on it has everyone scrutinizing you as a Nazi, so the most extreme voices intimidate the rest into staying quiet.

When the detail that the writer was a trans woman (and a specific one people knew) had filtered into common knowledge, the consensus of the vocal detractors was that she had done Nazi actions equivalent to being a Nazi that hurt every trans woman, and it was their responsibility to terrorize her. When she ended up suicidal and swore off writing, that was viewed as a great victory against an enemy of trans women. (Not dissimilar from people harassing Jewish actress Aya Cash for portraying a Nazi on The Boys.)

Also, people like to single out N.K. Jemisin for participating, but she was pretty much doing what people expect of an ally: following the leading voices of the relevant minority, repeating their messages, and using her social capital to boost theirs. The problem was the trans women leading the mob. I find the presence of trans woman author Alexandra Erin more objectionable because she was run off Tumblr for being into vore and bondage and because she liked a post from a black submissive woman showing off a collar, which was framed as her wanting to enslave black people, so you would think she'd be sympathetic to a trans woman author stigmatized for being into edgy humor. Instead, she likened the story to firing randomly in the air and hoping only bad people would be hurt, when it should be clear innocents would likely be hurt, making the whole endeavor harmful. (Like being open about liking controversial fetishes on Tumblr?)

Edgy humor sets off mainstream leftists like Daleks sighting an enemy.

[baelpenrose]

And there is some reason to say NK Jemisin was doing what people expect from an ally, but if this was the result, maybe it’s time we actually think about that a little.

Like, how many times can we see a marginalized creator get torn to bloody shreds by other marginalized people and well intended “Allies” who never actually looked at the evidence themselves and just went off what “the affected group” was saying? The queer experience is subjective as hell, and I can’t imagine any other marginalized experience is different. Maybe we should stop mob harassing people for making something without looking at the thing ourselves.

And it’s fine if you don’t want to look at a thing, but at this point I think we need to bring back the old rule that if you haven’t seen/read something, you ought to just not talk about it at all and admit you don’t know anything about the subject. Because here's the other thing? The people who did this to Ms. Fall? Entirely other progs/lefties/libs. Not a single conservative was involved. It was all lefties attacking our own. You will never see this happen to a more 'conservative' or even 'apolitical' (read: written by a white man from a white man's perspective) indie novel, because those perspectives aren't hounded like a transfem's are. They aren't expected to be perfect the way a transfem's are. By engaging in harassment campaigns like this, you are purely and totally making it harder for marginalized people to publish, because at the end of the day, they are the ones who lose their social support networks to harassment campaigns by the terminally online, while the mediocre white dude can just fucking ignore anything the twitter mob says.

[vaspider]

I think it's important to point out that, if I am reading the interview she gave not long after it all went down correctly, not only did she get harassed until she gave up writing, she fucking went back in the closet.

Because there was little biographical information available about its author, the debate hinged on one question: Who was Isabel Fall? And that question ate her alive. When she emerged from the hospital a few weeks later, the world had moved on, but she was still scarred by what had happened. She decided on something drastic: She would no longer be Isabel Fall. As a trans woman early in transition, Fall had the option of retreating to the relative safety of her legal, masculine identity. That’s what she did, staying out of the limelight and growing ever more frustrated by what had happened to her. She bristles when I ask her in an email if she’s stopped transitioning, but it’s the only phrase I can think of to describe how the situation appears. Isabel Fall was on a path to becoming herself, and then she wasn’t — and all because she published a short story. And then her life fell apart.

...

After she checked out of the hospital, Isabel Fall ceased to be Isabel Fall. “I had a few other stories in the works on similar themes, and I withdrew them; that is the most concrete thing I can say that I stopped doing,” Fall says. “More abstractly, more emotionally, I have stopped trying to believe I am a woman or to work towards womanness. If other people want to put markings on my gender-sphere and decide what I am, fine, let them. It’s not worth fighting.”

That makes me so fucking angry every time I think about it that I want to spit or cry.

I have not been the subject of the level of intense, sudden, overwhelming attention that she has; I have been the target of a lower-volume, sustained campaign, and there is a reason that I call it "the acid fire hose." That shit will strip the fucking flesh from your bones.

So yeah. Of course indie authors flinch.

Honestly, there are plenty of books by indie authors, especially trans authors, that I've wanted to say, "I liked this mostly, but I really didn't care for [aspect]," but I was so concerned that I would cause problems that I fully just... didn't talk about the book at all bc I couldn't honestly just be like YUP I LIKED IT ALL.

[starlight-shadowbanned]

@goingrampant out of curiosity can I ask what you mean about Nazi concepts? it’s been a while since I read the story, and I can’t recall that I picked up anything Nazi-ish about it (but short-term memory also sucks so I might have just forgotten)

[goingrampant]

The title itself came from 4chan, which is Nazi-adjacent at the best of times, and it primes people to think about modern Nazis. The plot deals with hyper-militarization in a grimdark Warhammer way that is used satirically but might come across as the kind of thing a fascist would write. The deuteragonist is named Axis (nuff said?). There's a digression about Nazis fighting the Soviets that's framed as like something a Nazi would indulgently write to speculate about how the Nazis could have won the war but is twisted so it's really antifascist if you bother to read it carefully. The whole premise is about gender within a fascist framework, reflecting a fascist worldview, but is complicated enough to be radical trans philosophy if you read it carefully. At the end, all there is of an author bio is that she was "born in 1988", which looks like the 88 dog whistle (88 = HH = Heil Hitler) after all that priming.

Basically, it's like that ambiguous image that's either a beautiful woman or a skull. At face-value, it looks like schlocky Nazi shit, but if you look closer and read carefully, you can see it's intelligent transgender philosophical musings spoofing the nasty Nazis. The ambiguity is valuable to its artistic merit by blending the beautiful and the grotesque.

[digitalkiddo]

If you're writing anything involving cons, scams, heists, or morally questionable characters who are very good at lying, here are some free resources I've been using for research. Saving you the "why is this in my search history" anxiety.

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

Reblog to save for later. Your WIP will thank you.

[spicyvampire]

The way all the 2020s have done so far have been making me categorically against every new generation of tech that comes out is insane. Like I'm from a technological boom generation, saw the first portable phones, nokias & blackberries & flipphones etc, and the first smartphones, and the first ipods & ipads & tablets in general while still having cassettes & DVD & MP3 players around so I know how all of it work, I had computer classes in high school, I did the transition between home desktop computers to laptops and back to gaming computers. But then they started to put internet in your printer & microwave, everything has ads & AI now and every update is worst than the last. I literally loved technology and they ruined it

[somnidasha]

ravi: they were being mean to me :(

O

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/ \ pip: who tf?

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[nancescreek]

watching s2 of agggtm and i am MOURNING what we could have if holly jackson was involved in writing of s1 like we could've had one of the best book to tv adaptations in recent years... (even with emma's accent) what a shame.

[chutzpahchesed]

[shofarsogood]

Here's a reminder that Egypt would not take in Palestinian refugees from Gaza because of the risk of Hamas combatants pretending to be civilians. Egypt 100% could have evacuated civilians out of Gaza, because they didn't, because of HAMAS. When Israel won the Sinai, it returned most of that land to Egypt. Egypt gave the Gaza strip back because it was a security risk. Why? Because Hamas kept blowing shit up.

Here's a reminder that everyone living in the West Bank used to be Jordanian citizens. Jordan was fine allowing people to cross the border from the West Bank to Jordan and vice versa. And then the PLO tried to assassinate the Jordanian king because he wasn't hard enough on Israel. Now no Palestinians are Jordanian citizens and there's a hard border between Jordan and the West Bank.

You are supporting hate groups who are so reviled by other countries that countries are unwilling to take in Palestinian refugees because of them.

[biglawbear]

I think the insult of "Jewish supremacist" is particular insidious considering Jews have living memory of being called sub-human, untermenschen in the Holocaust, as compared to the "superior" Aryan race. Not to mention how Jews are still called sub-human, dogs, pigs.

To say that Jews have "Jewish superiority" flies in the face of our generational trauma, of us being told in our lives that we are on the flip side of that coin. It is well and truly disgusting to say that we are claiming the exact thing used against us for so long.

And it is just another side of the coin. Whether people hate us because they think we're sub-human or they think we believe ourselves to be superhuman, they never see us as human.

[notaplaceofhonour]

getting up always gets cast as being “uppity” when people are used to you being oppressed

[rr-after-dark]

“mdni” actually isn’t an excuse to be actively cruel and rude to minors they’re literally human beings lmao

edit:

im someone who believes in marking content accurately instead of just putting a blanket “don’t look at this if you’re under 18.”it’s much more valuable to make it clear what a piece of media contains with clear warnings of triggers, what kind of sexual content, etc.

like there ARE minors reading your content. they’re lying about their age or they’re just not making their blogs visible to you by not interacting. putting “mdni” on a post is sticking your fingers in your ears going lalalala to your own responsibility.

think about what you were doing as a teenager. personally? i was sexually active, drinking, and generally doing things i shouldn’t have been.

and why was i doing those things? because adults around me shut down discussions around them. they said “nope, not for you” and then left me to figure it all out on my own. i was interested in “adult” things in ways that are, in fact, researched to be developmentally appropriate. if i’d just read about them online and been able to engage with them that way, i probably would’ve been much healthier as an adult.

forcing teenagers out of fandom spaces is unproductive at best and actively harmful at worst. these are often the only spaces that are safe for closeted teens, mentally ill teens, etc. and blanket saying “you’re not welcome here” to them when 75% of your content fundamentally is appropriate for teenagers is counterproductive for helping to create informed and empowered adults.

i would rather that minors on the internet read my blog with its explicit stances about consent, inclusivity, and education than be forced out to engage with exploitative pornography, mainstream erotica that’s nearly just as bad, and adults who don’t value them as people at all.

edit 2:

in the same way abstinence only sex education doesn’t work, saying “don’t look at that!” to teens until they’re of legal age and then expecting them to be functional adults with media literacy doesn’t work. we don’t rate all movies G until they’re R. there are stages to growing up.

[knight-of-skyloft]

Throwing firebombs at Jews gathering to raise awareness for the suffering of other Jews isn't antisemitism. Calling AIPAC "dark money" when it discloses its donors and saying it "turns us against each other" isn't antisemitic. Chanting "khaybar khaybar ya yahood" isn't antisemitic. Yelling "fucking Jew pricks" at random pedestrians isn't antisemitic. Shooting up a Chanukah party isn't antisemitic. Deliberately drawing on tropes about Jews and money and political influence for votes isn't antisemitic. Telling a Jewish American politician he serves "Israeli masters" isn't antisemitic. The only two antisemitic things that have happened in the last eighty years are Elon Musk's Nazi salute and Harry Potter Goblin. Wow! Incredible!

[entropybegets]

[ryuuna]

i still dont play this game but that renee gambita mod got my ass

[offwegointothewildblueyonder]

when a child goes to Build-A-Bear and constructs a teddy from the parts available no one bats an eye, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,