[justtouchedawkwardly-deactivate]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[luncheon-aspic]

Imagine showing this meme to someone one month ago.

[corporationkills]

on all levels , including physical , i am this

[lookataleaf3000]

Male: hello

Me, having listened to 5 true crime podcast episodes today: kill any women and children lately 😑😒

[communismcures]

Outfit idea

[autohaste]

I don’t know what’s going on but it’s a lot

[rosecrystal]

unfortunately for everybody i will keep doing whatever i want

[cechell]

yesterday i was taking a guest’s order and they were staring at the menu and the question they asked stunned me into silence and has been burned into my brain for life and i will present it to you verbatim today. they looked at the menu and turned to me and asked “so like, the more we get, the more expensive it is? is that how it works?”

[poemswords]

“It was like as though to get better I had had to get worse.”

— Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange (via the-book-diaries)

[ewrichie-deactivated20190201]

honest to god if you want to be my friend just skip the awkward phase. send me a meme and call me a bitch. do it in the name of friendship

[zackisontumblr]

no more stress thanks, i’m full

[anxietyproblem]

[srrybabe]

[cruisingforabruising]

being called “good girl” is therapeutic

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

someone: oh god. how are you coping with that?

me: im not. im not coping 

[324432463552434565435241354-dea]

your intelligence means fucking nothing if youre devoid of empathy

[cungadero]

things that you absolutely should not nickname

dildos

bongs

things that you absolutely should nickname

roombas

[joey-wheeler-official]

What if i name the roomba dildo bongins

[cungadero]

borderline but acceptable