Queer shitposting

☠️ I'm here, I'm queer, I wanna disappear ☠️ 🏳️‍⚧️ They/Them 🏳️‍⚧️ ✨️Shitposting like it's my job✨️ Sometimes I try to say something funny or smart. BPD/C-PTSD vent blog @typo-aesthetic

[typos-in-my-brain]

I don't wish to have money to buy a fast car or gold plated door knobs or whatever rich people do with money. I wish to have plenty of comfortable bambu underwear in my size or a better brand of cheese.

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

[herballwitch]

I need you to understand and to really listen when I tell you that the land knows you.

If you have spent months, years, decades living in the same place and exploring the same land I can promise you that the trees, the plants, the lakes and rivers, and the spirits will know and remember you.

You can call out to them and they will call out to you because they know you - they have for so so long, my love, and they love you, so much.

Trust me.

[pnwander]

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[orcboxer]

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

[typos-in-my-brain]

Täs oon mä sun suojelusenkeli heiii 😇 okei 🙏eli. Noin kuuden kuukauden päästä sä kuolet nälkään. 🥺 Ja jos mä en suojele sua mä saan #potkut! 🤭. Elikkäs. Mä tein vähän tausta tutkimusta nääntymisestä ja sain selville että, sun kuoleminen on täysin estettävissä! 😯 O-ou! 😆 On olemassa enemmän ruokaa sun selviytymiseks ilman että se estää kenenkään muun selviytymistä, mutta sä et pysty saamaan sitä! 🤔 Mitäääää? 🤷‍♂️ Ilmeisesti sun kuolema on ennalta suunniteltu näiden tuhansien tyyppien johdosta joita kutsutaan osakkeenomistajiksi. Elikkäs 🙏. Mä oon tappanu ihmisiä,

[catharticscream]

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

[voidpostings1]

[selenaigomez]

Kiki’s Delivery Service 魔女の宅急便 1989 | dir. Hayao Miyazaki.

[standandwatchshitburn]

why so silent good messieurs

[nsfwitchy2]

I’m SEVERELY disappointed this post didn’t include the eye witness statement of the mirror crash incident in question

[barbreypilled]

when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[justafortunateson]

[paralol]

HOW WOULD YOU GO ABOUT DYING THAT MUCH HAIR 

HOW MUCH HAIR DYE WOULD YOU NEED 

[d-o-llf-a-ce]

We are going to say it takes 3 containers for a foot of hair, along with the thickness of her hair. Takig in those that factor along with the fact that Rapunzel’s hair is approx. 70 feet (canonically), that makes 70 x 3 =

210

She would need 210 containers of hairdye.

[themagentacolor]

That’s a lot. Wonder how much it cost?

[alexandragrace]

Well hair die costs $6.99 at Walmart. Let’s round that up to $7.00. So multiply 210 containers by 7 dollars and you get $1,470.

It would cost her around $1,500 to die all her hair blue

[mortaljpg]

tumblr: solving the worlds problems one by one this is great

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"Fat folks have unique needs when it comes to body care and we often aren’t ever taught what those needs are. Because we have been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and view them as a punishment because we look the way that we do, we are often even discouraged from learning the proper techniques required to care for ourselves.

This guide is here to help fix that! It’s here to walk you through some of the starting steps I -- writer Sarah Biette --- took for myself that revolutionized the way I cared for my fat body, especially my skin. I’ll also talk about some of the stereotypes and judgements I had to work through while going on this journey. While I discuss my own experiences a bit in this article, I hope that you can see it as a jumping-off point to start your own relationship⁠ with caring for your body. The list of tips and tricks I have below is not at all exhaustive, and I would love to hear what methods have worked for you over the years!"

Check it out the rest of this amazing new piece here!

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Okay so question for tumblr, if you’re a good distance out in the ocean and you get caught in the beginning of a strong current (not sure if the word would be riptide, rip current or something else) where you can barely keep your head above water swimming as hard as you can without getting sucked fully under into the current, and the water is too strong to swim out or for anyone to get close to help you, so you slowly move to the side until eventually you break free, Is that what you should do or is there a different way someone should react?

[typos-in-my-brain]

My australian friend told me that you should just float along until it someone can save you and that they tech you to differentiate from different currents in school.

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 72

Quackerjack (Darkwing Duck)

Megamind (Megamind)

Link (Tears of the Kingdom)

Voting ended onJun 8

[typos-in-my-brain]

Come on guys we are losing to megamind 😭

[forafilm-movinglol-deactivated2]

compilation

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Hey so an insane new dinosaur got announced??

This is Haolong dongi, a new species of iguanodontian ornithopod found covered in what is basically,,, hedgehog quills??

The fossil is a stunningly preserved skeleton from China that includes evidence of hard armour scales on the tail (like in the much smaller Kulindadromeus), and a coat of spines along its neck and back! The name appropriately means "spiky dragon".

Not only is a spiny iguanodont wild on its own (this individual is over 2 metres long and is a juvenile, other ornithopods with quill-like structures are much smaller), these spines also appear to be an entirely new skin structure? They're apparently not feathers or scales, but a secret third thing.

The publication is available to read here!