funny girl

izzy maine is cancelled, long live izzy maine

[ugly-drizella]

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me // At tea time, everybody agrees // I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror // It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

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Drizella "Izzy" Lucinda Tremaine

Nicknames: Izzy, Drizzy (only certain people; if it applies to you, i've already told you :)) Stage Name: Izzy Maine Birthday: April 3, 1990 Magic status: Mundus Nationality: English, but lived in the United States from 2008 till 2023 Ethnicity:  English Accent: Posh English Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality: Straight Relationship Status: Separated from Grant Dayton  Height: 5’10 Build: Skinny, wiry, very few curves Complexion: Pale Eye color:  Dark brown Hair color/length/style: Dark brown waves kept in a bob  Tattoos/piercings/daily jewelry: Ears pierced, but doesn’t wear anything beyond simple studs usually. 

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Occupation/Schooling: Swynlake Secondary, Class of ‘08; NYU, Class of ‘12; comedian on SNL from 2015-2019; stand up comic and TV writer, appeared in a few shows but as minor roles What would you find if you Googled them?: ** deep inhale ** She’s a comedian, who was on SNL for a bit (in the mid-2010s), has a couple of stand-up specials, dated and eventually married Grant Dayton, a fellow SNL alum; you’d find her sketch comedy, her standup clips, some writing and TV credits (usually small roles); HOWEVER most recently, you would find her scandal — aka she dumped hot coffee on a half-fairy TikTok influencer and people are calling her anti-Magick and a misogynist  What natives would know about them: Sister of Annie Tremaine, daughter of Rodmilla Tremaine, ambitious and cutthroat in high school and also not popular at all Social media: @mainelyizzy on Twitter, IG, and every other social media  Other: I will fill this out later with more specific titles BUT, her most viral and popular standup show is called "(Not) Hot-Girl Shit"

[hauntingly-veronika]

Summerween | Open

[hauntingly-veronika]

This woman understood.

How amazingly refreshing. Veronika was sure that she would get another weird look for her choices to look for something remotely spooky in July. Thankfully someone else could appreciate the concept.

"Yes! That is kind of what I was going for. I didn't think it would be quite so difficult to get around here," Veronika admitted with a frown. "If you happen to have seen anything like it though please let me know. I've been at a loss," she added. "I like your gnome," Veronika added. "It's quite charming."

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“Oh thanks.”

Drizella eyed the gnome again. 

“Y’know, I was gonna give it to my sister to annoy her — she’s one of those people who has to have a perfectly manicured lawn. But it’s growing on me. I don’t have a lawn though. Just a flat. Might put it outside the door though. Why not?”

She shrugged.

“So what’s this whole Halloween in the summer thing you’re planning?” she asked. “Bedroom makeover? Or a party?” 

@hauntingly-veronika

[prairienina]

SEX AND THE CITY (1998-2004) "Plus One is the Loneliest Number" — 5.05

[ugly-drizella]

Dream On || Dads

[mads-morey]

@ugly-drizella

Mads held back a laugh, because of course Drizella was, that was so her. And he thought it was as hilarious as half the things she did (compliment).

"No way, an agent of Jun Moon himself? Though now that you told me, will he have to kill me?" Mads joked.

Maybe it was his time.

[ugly-drizella]

“I had to make sure I could trust you,” Drizella said solemnly. “But if you show signs of betraying you, I’m afraid I have been authorized by the Moon Market itself to kill you.”

She briefly wondered what Jun’s totally reasonable relatives thought of this whole crusade. Not that she knew any of them all too well, but as someone who was related to Annie, she understood.

… not that that was gonna stop her from getting in on this. Especially since, well, Jun had some points. And also, it was the most interesting thing to happen to Swynlake Prom in a very long time. Could ya blame a gal? 

“Anyway,” she said, glossing over the fact she absolutely did not know how to kill a man who was definitely fitter and stronger than her. “After doing some recon, I might sneak out to the frontlines. You’re welcome to join. I’ll gain Moon points if I recruited someone.” 

@mads-morey

[swan2swan]

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

[luimnigh]

[ladydevoir]

[ugly-drizella]

NAME: Drizella Tremaine OCCUPATION:  Freelance blogger and podcaster SECTION:  Fuselage SURVIVAL SKILL: NGL she's pretty useless MAGICAL SKILL: None REASON FOR BEING ON FLIGHT 2015: This was supposed to be her anniversary trip with her cheating ex-husband…  PERSONAL ITEM: The Satisfyer Pro 2  PERSON OF SCIENCE/FAITH: Person of Science INJURY: None!

BIO:

cw: passing sex mention

It was supposed to be an anniversary trip. 

Ten years married! Well, technically eleven, but they hadn’t been able to go last year, because they’d had to go to, like, four separate friend weddings and also an unexpected funeral. But 2026 — Miami. That was on their calendar. Tickets had been bought. Hotels booked. Excursions planned.

Then, a month ago, Drizella walked in on her husband with his face between another woman’s legs.

He was quickly kicked out of their London flat. Drizella decided that she wasn’t gonna let their Miami trip go to waste. She was going to have a fucking amazing time, lounging by the pool and partying till the sun came up.

It was time to make all the bad decisions she never had in her youth. After only sleeping with one guy for the past decade, she was about to make up for some lost time…

With a pounding headache and a lurching stomach, she boarded her return flight, not quite sure how to face her bleak reality when she returned home to an empty flat. 

But as luck (???) would have it, Drizella’s getting a little more time to process her failed marriage. Too bad she’s trapped on a deserted tropical island full of strange people and even stranger occurrences… 

[trackedbymaximus]

Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll || Maxella

[trackedbymaximus]

Maximus winced when she pulled out his title, and it was only partially feigned. Clearly he needed to put in some more serious time at the gym if he was getting beaten by a comedian.

Never mind that they still went rock climbing together when they could so he knew she wasn't some locked in her room writer.

That was besides the point.

The sparkle of mischief that entered his eye was all the warning she got before he said, "Last off the rink buys the first round."

Then he instantly pushed off and sprinted as quickly as he could towards the nearby exit, weaving around one last couple before he stepped out from the rink and back onto the carpeted ground of the surrounded area.

it was dirty and under handed of course. He smirked back over his shoulder at Drizella before walking to get his shoes.

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“Well, it’s the least I can do.” Drizella pretended to grumble about the prospect of buying the first round, but she really didn’t care. After all, she figured she’d be nice and let Max get in a drink before embarrassing himself. 

Once they returned the skates and got all laced up in their regular shoes, the two of them trekked over to the pub. As they arrived, someone was belting out “I Need A Hero” — specifically the version from Shrek 2.

“Excellent vibes already, I see,” Drizella noted, waving the bartender over. “Now what spot of liquid courage will you be having before the big show, my dear Max?” 

@trackedbymaximus

[ugly-drizella]

Breaking the Glass: A Podcast Hosted by Mallory McGubbins || Silly Rabbit

[notbad-justsungthatway]

Jessica knew that there were risks associated with what she was about to do. Drizella might have grown up in Swynlake, but she had plenty to make her controversial. Whatever she might have said in her pitch, there was a certain amount of this that was a selifh attempt to change her image in the public.

But Jess knew all about struggling to control the narrative of her public image. Perhaps that was part of what intrigued her so much.

She was pleasantly surprised by the podcast that was chosen. As soon as she'd heard from Drizella, she'd listened to a few episodes and found herself enjoying Mallory's comfortable style. Who knew? Perhaps this would be enjoyable after all.

Dressed in an elegant light blouse and one of her long maxi skirts, she knew that she presented a relatively conservative and classy picture. Which was the point. It was all about the contrast.

"Please, call me Jessica. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She settled comfortably in the chair. "I'm a long time resident of the Magick-friendly town of Swnlake and I currently manage the night club, the Court of Miracles, in town. I'm a singer and I specialize in jazz and blues music. But considering my mother, Christy's large catalogue of rock songs, I expand out into other genres like that once in awhile."

She was sure Mallory likely knew most of that considering that was a condensed version of her wikipedia page, but it was the little bit she was ready to start with.

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“Since we’re not recording yet, let me take a moment to fangirl over your mom,” Mallory laughed. “My mom’s a big fan and played her stuff all the time when I was growing up.”

“Oh yeah, she’s great,” Drizella agreed. It wasn’t even a lie! Drizella liked 70s and 80s rock and when she’d been growing up and learned that there was a famous rock star from Swynlake, who was also a girl, she immediately latched onto Christy’s discography. 

“I definitely want to talk more about what you’ve learned from her,” Mallory said, before turning to Drizella. “Now you… Ms. Maine? Izzy?”

“Izzy’s fine.” Drizella had done a handful of interviews since her self-imposed exile, but they’d mostly been via Zoom or phone. It was weird to slip back into Izzy right now, in person, with someone who knew her as Drizella first. 

Not that Izzy and Drizella were really separate people. It was just that Izzy Maine began in New York City and she thought of Swynlake as something warm and fuzzy if a bit funny and quirky.

Drizella Tremaine thought of it as a prison. 

OK — prison was harshed. More like a walled garden. A zoo enclosure. 

“I’m Izzy Maine and I’m a writer and comedian. Like Jessica here, I lived in Swynlake for a long time — till I left for uni and lived in New York City, then I moved back to Swynlake after splitting from my husband and longtime creative partner.”

“Right.” Mallory fixed her eyes on Drizella. “We’ll definitely get back to that.”

Great, Drizella thought. She steeled herself. She had rehearsed. 

“So, before we start,” Mallory said, turning her attention back to the both of them equally. “Any specific topic points you really want to gush about? I like to asks my guests that so I can make sure to address them.” 

@notbad-justsungthatway

[nondelphic]

“how do you write again after a long break?” you just start. that’s the horror of it. you just. start. and then the story opens its eyes.

[ugly-drizella]

Swynlake Dreams 101 || Nuzella

[roasty-toasty-morake]

The Victorian times. Now that sounded like an absolute nightmare. There were all kinds of structures and rules, and none of them really benefited a black man either. Most worked at the docks or as servants and didn't get any of the nice parts of...well...anything. Not that Nuka's childhood was much different from that concept really. They had had tough times eating and he remembered far too many days where all they had were beans and toast.

"Yeah the no rights thing'll get you," Nuka agreed. "Whenever people say they want to travel to the past I'm always thinking they've got some rose colored glasses on about it. I wouldn't want to be traveling back in any way shape or form." Life was arse enough already without going back. That'd just be going back to where it was worse.

This town really was mental. But at least Nuka had no plans on staying for that long. Hopefully after a few months Kovu will have made mum proud and they could all go their separate ways again and he could actually live out a life he wanted in London. "What was the weirdest or worst one for you then? You've been here a while now right?"

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“Hmm, since I moved back…” Drizella tilted her head, trying to remember. “Well, thankfully none have been all that bad. I guess the most embarrassing one was this Bridgerton-esque Regency romance where I was swept off my feet by my high school boyfriend.” 

She rolled her eyes. She was both thanfkul and mortified it had been Max. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before and also she could joke with him about how ridiculous it had been. But on the other hand —

She stopped that thought before it could evolve legs and run off onto land.

“Tied with the terrible theme park one though. I did hear there was one that turned everyone into cats — I can’t tell if that would be a riot or terrible,” she said. “If I was a housecat, maybe it’d just be lots of sleeping in sunbeams, but apparently they were, like, feral hunter cats?” 

@roasty-toasty-morake

[hauntingly-veronika]

Summerween | Open

[hauntingly-veronika]

"Nein nein, I don't think you are understanding the request. Yes it must give a summery feel but it also needs a bit of a haunted quality. Do you understand?" Veronika asked the first employee she could find in a home decor in NTO. She was fairly sure she'd confused the person working there thoroughly.

But Veronika liked hosting little parties or gatherings for the vampires that chose to stay at the Hauntley. And even if it was a summer time event, it wouldn't be the Hauntley if there wasn't something a bit quirky or unique about the whole experience.

She had found a few items for decorating, but she had hoped that the employee there could help her out more. "Do you like Scooby Doo? There's a live action film that could-" she started to say and frowned as the employee darted off to look elsewhere. It was then that she acknowledged the extra set of eyes on her. "What? Do you think it's such a strange idea?"

[outfit]

[ugly-drizella]

“No,” said Drizella. She shrugged. 

She, herself, was holding a large novelty garden gnome. She was buying it for Annie, mostly as a joke. She was pretty sure that Annie would hate the gnome and that it would then end up in her flat. She had a plan to put the gnome in front of her apartment, start a whole lawn decor renaissance in the floors of Castle Suites.

“Kooky and spooky,” she said. “Animated headstones sipping margaritas. Jack-o-lanterns carved like tiki heads. I understand.” She nodded solemnly, clutching the garden gnome that she decided she was going to name Phyllis. 

@hauntingly-veronika

[yeris]

SHE'S THE MAN (2006) dir. andy fickman

[ugly-drizella]

Dream On || Dads

[ugly-drizella]

“As a general rule of thumb, I think we all ought to take this thing less seriously,” Drizella said. “Everyone acts like it’s the Met Gala or something. As if we don’t have some fancy dress party every other month.”

See — this is where Jun had a point. The town spent so much money on fancy dress events. If prom was, like, the only one, then it’d be okay. But there was an excuse for Swynlakers to flaunt their wealth at basically every opportunity, so 

Yeah, yeah, she realized how hypocritical that was, coming from a rich Swynlake family herself. But hey, someone had to be the change they saw in the world, right? 

“So, I’m thinking we scope out the drinks and snacks first. Grab the good stuff before it’s gone.” 

@mads-morey

[mads-morey]

@ugly-drizella

"Right, imagine being flat broke in Swynlake," Mads said, shaking his head.

He had to agree, people really liked to show out and not repeat outfits but...the credit card debt in this town must be massive.

"That's the only I go to town events, the free food." He agreed. "Wasn't Cass in charge of it this year? I bet it's really good."

[ugly-drizella]

“I wouldn’t know,” Drizella admitted. “I don’t really pay attention to who’s on the prom committee.” 

It sounded vaguely familiar. She wondered if Annie had listed Cass in her long rant of complaints about prom committee. Not that Drizella would actually harbor any resentment for the people on Annie’s lists. In fact, if Annie complained about them, that probably made them cooler.

“Actually,” she said, dropping her voice down low. “This might be a good time to tell you …” She leaned forward conspiratorally. “I’m actually here on behalf of the anti-prom committee.” 

@mads-morey

[trackedbymaximus]

Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll || Maxella

[trackedbymaximus]

So close, so close, if he could just -

Drizella found a last spark from somewhere inside and she pulled away from him, just at the critical moment as they grossed over the line.

He'd...lost? He'd seriously lost?

Shit. He was going to have to sing Enya in front of people. This was about to be mortifying.

"Fine fine. But I get to pick the song because I'm not getting stuck with something like "Pilgrim" or some shit." Not that he considered himself a fan by any means, but some of the songs were definitely more tolerable than others.

After a small pause, he said, "Pretty good race though. Nicely done."

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“I can work with that,” said Drizella, bumping Max’s shoulder with her own.

She’d always intended to argue for that had she been the loser. It seemed only far that she extend the courtesy the other way. After all, Max wasn’t just a date. He was her oldest friend.

Not that this was a date. It wasn’t a date. It was two old friends hanging out.

Never mind that when they’d talked about it —

She cut that thought off there. No need to repeat the same justification she’d already gone through. 

“And thanks. I’ll take that as a very high compliment. The Sheriff of Swynlake telling me it was a good match! Ha! Gonna add that to my portfolio.” She smirked. “Shall we trek onto the pub then?”

They’d already scouted out a location a couple blocks away that had an open-mic karaoke situation tonight. 

@trackedbymaximus

[ugly-drizella]

Swynlake Dreams 101 || Nuzella

[roasty-toasty-morake]

That was encouraging at least. 95% was a pretty good chance for it not doing any damage and just being a weird night. He took a sip at his own coffee, still finding himself wondering how the hell people were so impacted by what amounted to a night of insanity.

"Seriously?" What the hell had happened in 2015? "How did that even happen? That sounds completely mental," Nuka added, because it was. Beyond anything he would have thought. "How did they get back? How-" he frowned. "I guess that'd be hard to answer, but that's insanely fucked up. You know anyone who was there for that?"

@ugly-drizella

[ugly-drizella]

“My mum, apparently.” Drizella snorted. “She got sent to the Victorian times. At first I thought it was fitting, since she always seemed like the stern headmistress type to me, but then I forgot about the whole ‘women have no rights’ thing.”

She shrugged.

“She actually didn’t mention it till I heard about it from a friend of an old friend — and then she was all like It was fine, Drizella. Don’t you have more important things to worry about? Guess it sorted itself out in the end. That’s the good part of the dream stuff — they do always sort out in the end. But we do have our share of magical disasters. Freak snowstorms in summer, demons running amok.”

@roasty-toasty-morake

[ugly-drizella]

Breaking the Glass: A Podcast Hosted by Mallory McGubbins || Silly Rabbit

[ugly-drizella]

After much pestering and bothering and negotiation, Drizella had finally worn Hannah down enough to find her a podcast that both she and Jessica could guest star on.

“Your specific requirements weren’t easy, you know,” Hannah grumbled. “A host that does minimal discussion for two people? On a nebulous topic? But I did find this up-and-coming person…”

Her name was Mallory McGubbins and her podcast was called Breaking the Glass and it was all about women in different industries. She wasn’t super huge, but one clip from a podcast she’d done with two female tech executives had gone pretty viral. It wasn’t entertainment industry specific, but Drizella liked the format well-enough.

Luckily, Mallory was actually in London for a convention, so plans were made and they all met up in a rented studio space. 

Mallory greeted Drizella and Jessica with a smile. She seemed ot be in her mid-20s, still had the look of someone who had not yet been jaded by the world. She wore big glasses with clear frames that almost made her look like an insect. Drizella didn’t mean this in a rude way at all. She quite liked how quirky yet intelligent they made Mallory look. That, combined with her denim jacket full of pins and patches, frizzy reddish-brown hair corralled into two braids, and a posture so straight it would’ve made Rodmilla Tremaine proud, all made Drizella quite pleased with Hannah’s find.

She liked this girl.

“Mallory McGubbins.” She had a firm handshake too. “Pleasure to meet you. I gotta say, I wasn’t too sure about this pairing — I usually pick guests who work in more similar circles, but your agent gave me a good pitch.”

Drizella wasn’t exactly sure what Hannah had said to convince Mallory, but she was grateful. They settled into the studio and set up the equipment. 

“I like to just chat a little bit before we dive into things,” said Mallory. “Just to warm up so we’re not going in like total strangers. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself — Ms. Rabbit, you can start?” 

@notbad-justsungthatway

[ugly-drizella]

Breaking the Glass: A Podcast Hosted by Mallory McGubbins || Silly Rabbit