Let us be unbreakable

Are you looking for study inspiration? Do you like stories about school life?Then you're welcomed here. Leksi. Slovakia. 19 years old. A-level Chemistry, Biology and Informatics.

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Somehow I'm still alive

Are you surprised? Because I sure am. Today is exactly a week after my first oral exam. Four of them are already done, the hell is over and it feels like it was an eternity ago, not just a week. After sleeping for 10 hours every night I kind of feel like a human and probably won't fall asleep anywhere as I used to.

To all my fellow students who had exams - congratulations! We did it, we kicked those exams' ass! Now it's time to clean up your rooms, go out with friends, reflect on your achievements and just celebrate, because we truly deserve it. To all younger students, who have their GSCEs or A-levels next year and now are freaking out because of all the stories we tell you - enjoy your holidays and don't worry now, you'll have plenty of time to do it during next school year. If we succeeded in those exams, you can do it too.

As someone who got A* in all of my four exams, I guess I have some qualification to give advice on preparation for A-levels. Or you can learn from my mistakes. So get ready for loads of posts about exams, because boy, those things took my soul away and I need to talk about them in order to get over it.

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The struggle is back...

... And this time it's not leaving that quickly. The first part of school leaving examination is successfully done (and I'm definitely writing a whole post about it, because there were millions of emotions and new experiences) and after a week long break it's time to get back to the reality. Exams are still not finished.

Preparing for tests was hard and easy at the same time, because you never know what kind of tasks they are going to give you, so you can't really prepare, you just have to revise everything. But when it comes to the oral exams you have 90 problems in each subject, so you know exactly what to study. What is the problem here is the volume - believe me, there's a lot of information to absorb.

At this point I have something like two months, maybe a little less, to learn and revise all school program in English, Slovak, Biology and Chemistry. I'm painfully aware of the fact that I should have started preparing sooner, but I would forget some stuff anyway. At least right now I have have no choice, but to study.

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The ultimate solution to all of your problems

All this week I study only two subjects (and watch TV series in between studying), so my life isn't interesting at all. Since yesterday nothing has really changed and I don't want to complain about me being a professional procrastinator. So I've decided to tell you about my English textbooks, which by the way have become my best friend over the past few days.

If I remember correctly, it was the third grade when we started learning English with Solutions. We began with the Elementary level and I remember literally nothing about that time and I've probably lost that textbook somewhere, but that's not the point. The best thing about these textbooks is that they make new editions every five years, so vocabulary, pictures and articles are always up to date, which makes studying a little more entertaining. I'm old enough to have studied from the first edition and when I compared my old pre-intermediate textbook to my brother's (the red one in the photo) I was surprised that only general topics and grammar were the same. About a year ago there was published a new edition, which is really modern, probably more than me.

The other thing that I love about these textbooks is the easiness at working with them - everything is perfectly structured and well explained, so you don't even need a teacher to understand a new topic. In comparison, that Advanced grammar in use is written so weirdly that you have to spend hours trying to understand something new.

Sooo huge thanks to Oxford University Press for creating and constantly improving these amazing textbook that got me through school and taught me pretty much all grammar I know.

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Still trying, still going strong

And oatmeal is back in the photo! Nothing has changed I still have it every morning, but I made a break from taking photos of it. There's something special about having a relaxed mornings, when you slowly eat tasty breakfast and watch some TV show or YouTube videos - that's what sets my mood for a busy day.

Today I've tried to be calm and not overthink every little detail. Somehow I managed to get most of the work done and I even enjoyed doing it (except for the grammar - it was still a pure boredom). The worst part is that I'm not learning anything new, I'm just revising everything, which can get pretty boring and it requires a lot of motivation to read something I already know.

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Am I actually working hard enough?

I don't even know what day of revision this is, like I have thought for half a day that today's Thursday. Just because it feels like that. Even though I love languages and genuinely find them fascinating, this is getting worse with every day. Writing (the thing I enjoy the most) is a complete opposite of studying grammar for I-don't-even-know-how-long.

Today I had the attention span of gnat. Literally. I would start studying something and five minutes later I'm talking to myself, singing in my head or just staring on the wall - how productive! But at this point I don't even care, I just continue reading for another 5 minutes and try to put as much information in my head as I can.

The worst thing is that topics that I've been learning today are not even that complicated to spend hours over them, but guess what - I did.

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A slight sense of depression

That's what we are working with today, so heyy - welcome to my life, emotional rollercoasters are included. How can I be such a mess?

So today I have done only 4 out of 8 parts of my revision plan and I'm kind of screwed tomorrow, because I'll have to catch up. First and the main reason for this - I've been lazy and also my friends came over to study English. We did the studying, but after that we just talked for two hours (it was really great, but I kind of lost a lot of time).

And what's more, I've been doing some tests and the result was not the best, like I would definitely not get an A for them. That's when a depression comes, so tomorrow I'll have to work hard to prove myself that I'm not stupid.

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Confusingly relaxed

And... It's here. The exams I've been talking about are in a week. Literally, next Tuesday I'll be talking Slovak language exam and then on Wednesday I have English. And you know what's the most confusing part? I can't wait for them to come, like I'm looking forward to have exams.

Being the person I am, I usually (read "always") overthink everything and if this is something academical, then I have to be perfect in it. In the beginning of the year even a thought of the exams made me panic, because there was sooo much to study and I couldn't figure out how. But now it seems that I've found an answer - you simply can't.

I understood this simple truth last year on the Chemistry olympiad, but somehow I couldn't apply it to the exams. This does not mean that I'm not going to study, actually I am studying pretty hard right now (mostly revising) and I'm going to do everything that is in my power - but that's just it. I can't do more and I can't learn everything. Those exams are made in a way to test our general intelligence and knowledge of native and foreign languages. This stuff can't be learned in a week or in a year - it's a lifelong process and I have to learn to work with what I already have.

So wish me luck and stay with me during the preparation week.

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            It’s the first Monday of 2019 and she is not dead!

Hello you, lovely people with beautiful minds! I hope 2018 has treated you well and your 2019 has started in the best possible way (even if it hasn’t, there’s a plenty of time to change that). If you know me and have been here for a while - welcome back, I’ve missed you - and if you’re the new person, then let me introduce myself. I’m Leksi, a high school senior in Slovakia and this is my study blog called Unbreakable, where I inconsistently and irregularly write about my school life, the real struggles of students and sometimes, besides of complaining, I can give you some useful advices and study tips. And also I have an unhealthy obsession with films and TV shows, which I’m treating with YouTube videos because of the lack of free time (not the best solution, I know).

All this time that I was missing here I wasn’t just chilling - these four months were a hell of a ride, to be honest. I’m not as excited about school and my classes as I used to be and there’s just a tonne of works that waits to be done. By the way, I’m coping pretty well (not with the work or managing my time) with taking things easier and not caring that much. I haven’t even had a proper breakdown, just a couple of little meltdowns now and then (meet your queen of mental health). But there’s so much more to tell, so stay here with me.

So why out of blue I’ve decided to come back? It’s easy - I just miss taking photos, writing, being weird and tired in my posts, sharing my experiences and sometimes even helping people. And also my friends are probably sick of listening to my study talks (just kidding, I don’t have any friends). We all face problems during our study journey, so let’s solve them together and see what comes out of it. 

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                Find something enjoyable on Wednesday!

You probably don’t often see a uterus in the photos on Tumblr, but I promise that this is totally related to the post. Also I guess I have to appear here more regularly, because taking a lot of cool pictures, but then not posting them seems like a waste of time.

So today during the A-level Biology lesson our professor asked me to describe female reproductive system to my classmates. At this point all of us are adults and almost everyone is preparing for a med school, so this topic is completely normal to discuss. What surprised me, was the fact that exactly this organ system made us realize how impressive and beautiful our bodies really are. The power of hormons, the complexity of the menstual cycle and all those changes that happen to the woman’s body during pregnancy in order to create a whole new life out from nothing. My guy classmate spaced out for a little bit and then said to me: “Isn’t this crazy to have another person inside of you? Or even multiple people.”

I ask you the same question - isn’t this crazy? Just take a moment to think about a bunch of processes that are happening inside of you right now with no conscious effort from your side. Our bodies manage to keep all those complex actions in order and harmony, so the least we can do is to learn about them. This is what motivates me to study Biology, this is my biggest inspiration to become a doctor -  I just want to understand the human body and be able to help it.

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                       In love with deadlines on Wednesday!

*be prepared to read a lot about my problems, sorry*

Just the second week of school and there are already a couple of projects with deadlines on fire. What I’ve been doing all week? It seems that I’m not capable to work productively unless there is a deadline right in front of me. Only then the creativity and cleverness come back to me and agree to cooperate. Please, say that I’m not the only one like that.

For a long time I’ve been aware of that I’m great only in critical situations, when something is put on the line. Usually I’m satisfied by that, but this year I have the most important exams, which means that I have to be great and super smart not for a moment, but for the whole time. Stay here if you want to watch, how I’m going to deal with this problem (I have no idea yet).

However, I’m so excited about all subjects and topics that I’m going to study this year - there will be lots of Chemistry and Biology, combined with actual practical lessons in labs. School is much more nicer, when you study only those subjects that you’ve chosen.

Another thing that worries me is that a lot of people have already started preparing for exams. And it’s only September. I thought I had more time just to enjoy school, but I guess not. The fact that I’m doing nothing makes me feel so terrible. Tomorrow is a new day and the right time for beginning the great preparation for exams.

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Getting used to the fact that school is back on Wednesday!

Congratulations to those who have started a new school year! I wish you (and myself too) to be productive, to enjoy the whole process of learning something new everyday and to stay motivated throughout the year. If you are a senior like me, then let’s hope we’ll pass all exams successfully.

Of course, the school year hasn’t begun today, but it took me a couple of days to get along with the thought that school is back and exams are inevitably getting closer. This year I’m literally in love with my schedule, especially with the days, when I don’t have two first lessons - I just enjoy slow mornings, when nobody is home. Also I really look forward to Chemistry and Biology Lab classes, because doing experiments is the best use of the theory you learn (and it’s a lot of fun too).

This is going to be hard. This is going to hurt (mostly mentally, but sometimes even physically). But this is the final year of the school, we’ve been preparing for it all twelve years and we are ready to do this final step.

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the way I live

Do you know that feeling, when you have too many emotions and no idea how to deal with them? When sorrow and sadness are so big that is hurts you physically? Or when happiness and joy overwhelm you and it feels like you’re going to explode? This is the part of being human - you have to feel things and the way to deal with emotions is your own decision. 

For me it’s writing. I can’t call myself a writer, but I’ve been playing with words since childhood. At some point writing dragged me out of depression, it helps me to remember and it became my own way back to sanity. Writing about something makes you rethink things, analyse your actions and their consequences in a calm way, because it’s not necessary to write about yourself, you can use different characters to express your thoughts and feelings. It’s more down to earth than reading, because your stay connected to your life and don’t escape reality.

Also I believe in the power of quotes. It is just a short sentence, small statement, but it holds so much power in it. And here you have some quotes that really well describe the way I live and take care of my problems. Thanks to @quotemadness for such a big variety of quotes, within which everyone can find something close to their heart.

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               Reading, hiking and planning on Saturday!

It was all I’ve been doing today, maybe I should also included a lot of sleeping in the car in that list. The book I’m curently reading is kind of hurting me, I literally had to put it away, because I would start crying in the car in front of everyone. But I still love it, I enjoy the way it’s written and one day I’m going to finish it. 

A day spent completely outside of the house can be a little tiring physically, but mentally it gives a big push. Being in nature makes you stop thinking for a while and you start just watching, listening, feeling - simply living in the moment. Then your head is much more lighter and you can make new exciting plans for a week.

So I’ve decided to put two new types of posts into this blog, let’s consider them my new projects. The first one is actually going to help me with preparation for the English exam - one part of it is an essay. There are 30 standart themes (like Family, Fashion, Culture...) from which they can choose a topic for the essay and if I write something on which of those themes I’ll we quite prepared. That means you can wait for an essay every Sunday and then help me correct mistakes or just make it better. Doesn’t sound very thrilling though, but this is how the senior year of high school really looks like. Let’s hope that topics for essays will be at least interesting.The second project is more entertaining, but hard to explain. It has to do with quotes and you can use them in every way you wish (even for Instagram posts - I do this a lot). Still not much information, but you’ll understand the idea, when you see it. So stay tuned!

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                                          Let’s talk on Friday!

     There are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film or the right book, and it will understand you.

                                                                                                               — Björk

I’m not religious, I’ve never been and I guess I was born this way: the idea of God didn’t find a place in my mind or heart. But it doesn’t meen that I don’t have faith - I grew up to believe in a coincidence. Sometimes we meet people, who change are lives drastically and we feel that this can’t be nothing else than destiny. Meeting that person just in the time when we need each other is a great coincidence, don’t you think? But other times there are not people themselves to influence us, but the fruits of their labor - books, films, songs.

Have you ever read a book or watched a film and then thought: “Was this made specifically for me?”, because it seemed to be right about your current situation? It just resonates with your soul and makes so much sense. We can agree that there probably isn’t a situation in life that didn’t happened to someone else and wasn’t written down in some way, so whatever is going on with you, remember - there is an answer. When it seems like no one understands you, even yourself and you don’t know what to do, some person, book or film may appear in your life and give you a solution. Just be patient and pay attention.

Sometimes I look at the title of the book or film and literally feel how it calls my name, but then I can have a book for years, but not read it until I feel that it’s the right time. For example, Gone with the Wind has shown me my biggest fault just before I could make another mistake because of it. The other day I was dealing with a lot of emotions and The Thorn Birds taught me, that feelings are not to be fought, but understood and excepted, because we are just humans after all. Both of this books I’ve been wanting to read since I was 14, but there always was a reason why I didn’t. And I’m sure that’s for good, because I wouldn’t learn that much from them in that time. 

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            Summer version of productivity on Thursday!

I haven’t been outside for more than one day, but it’s totally fine, right? I guess we all sometimes have moments, when going outside seems so hard and your room becomes even more comfortable than ususal. At least, I had a plenty of time for studying and reading.

Being productive during holidays is a completely different thing than productivity while going to school. You don’t have to study anything, so if you do open the textbook, then it’s just because you want to learn something. Today I read some Chemistry, which wasn’t complicated at all, and after that came time for Physics. The mess in the photo is a real situation that was going on my table, while I was studying Physics and I need all that stuff for taking notes.

Sometimes I don’t understand myself, just like today. I’m finishing Little Women, I’m in the middle of Ernest Hemingway’s book True at first light and this evening I’ve downloaded one more book and already started it. Just why? On the other hand this new book is really refreshing and motivating, but I can’t tell about it a lot, because I’m just in the beginning, so my mind can easily be changed by the end of the book.

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                                           Rainy Wednesday!

Lately I’ve been really liking the stucture of my posts: firstly I talk about food and the day at all (sharing with you some useless personal information, then I write about studying or laziness and at last I describe some TV series or film. It’s not a school time, so blog can be whatever I want. So today’s oatmeal was again with apricots and blueberries, but I’ve also added some coconut milk and apples. The weather is so bad today and because of rain I feel kind of melancholic and want to sleep all the time. 

In the morning I rewrote my essay, then I finished my homework and even read the Slovak textbook - this is a big achievement for me, because I usually fall asleep after 5min of reading it. Today was my second Slovak lesson and it would be ideal if I wasn’t falling asleep every now and then. It wasn’t boring at all, no, it’s just me and the rain - we are not compatible. After that I didn’t really study anything, because I wasn’t in the right mood.

And today I’ve finished the second season of Victoria. I must say it’s really a masterpiece - directors and actors did an enormous amount of work, so the series are just spectacular. There is a thing about period dramas: sometimes you have to pause the episode and just feel it. Imagine that you live in that time, try to think how it is to be a queen or king of the country and what would you do in this or that situation. In this season of Victoria they broke my heart so many times. Like it was not enough to take away Lord Melbourne, they also killed Lord Drummond just after he had a chance with Lord Alfred. Those two were so full of life and joy, I wish they had a happier ending.

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                          Be kind to yourself and to Tuesday!

I wonder why Tuesday feels like a Thursday, I’m not even tired, but this week seems to be endless. Here you see a bowl with fruits, so now my mum can’t say that I’m obsessed with the oatmeal. But it’s just healthy, easy to prepare and it tastes so great. Lately I’ve noticed that when I let myself eat sweets I don’t want them anymore - kind of the reversed psychology. Maybe the point of the health diet is to not restrict yourself. 

So today I went in a slow pace, didn’t push myself too hard and still did a bit of the work. My essay for Slovak lesson is done, but I should rewrite it. Then I finally opened an English textbook and it felt so weird. English is always somehow around me - in music, in books, in TV shows or films, on YouTube - but I can’t remember the last time when I properly studied it for school or for myself. The first exam topic is Family, so I’ve started with it, which doesn’t seem hard, but there definitely were some useful words that I didn’t know.

Today’s movie was The Choice and during all the film I was feeling some special vibe and just in the end I realized that it’s based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel. His stories always have the same atmosphere of love and comfort, then comes great suffering and brings us the wisdom. This film isn’t about something new, love stories like this are as old as the world is, but sometimes we need someone to remind us the simple truths.