no

"Carpe dentum: seize the teeth." - Mrs. Doubtfire

[ommanyte]

snail as old as slime

[awed-frog]

[uncannysvalleys]

you: hey boo

me, an intellectual: Greetings, Mr. Radley.

[baconfish]

Meanwhile, in Scotland.

[jongyyy]

What cartoon is this

[fruitcrocs-deactivated20240702]

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE COW RELATED POST ON THIS WEBSITE MAYBE I LOVE COWS RUN COWS RUN

[hippity-hoppity-brigade]

our name is Cow and wen its daye, or wen our Man has lookd awaye, and in the fence a hole wee gnaw, wee gallop out. 

wee flee the law. 

[escaroles]

This is one of my favorite posts on this website and nothing will ever change the perfection of this blessed video. 

[shock]

and now we return to...................................

………………… the regularly scheduled

him

[edgebug]

stores to cry in, rated

wal-mart: pedestrian, boring, you can do better. 2/10

target: a slightly better crying experience than wal-mart. the scent is strangely comforting, the lights however are too bright and make for a slightly unpleasant cry. there is however oftentimes a starbucks and a mini pizza hut inside for you to drown your sorrows in. 6/10, points for optimal post-cry atmosphere

an apple store: absolutely not. people cry in the apple store all the time because they cant afford the latest rose gold bullshit apple’s put out. overdone and cliche. 1/10

publix: points lost for the sterile and inhospitable environment but if you cry in a publix a gator WILL smell your tears and come to eat you. being eaten by a gator is in fact slightly preferable to crying in a publix. 6/10 for the gator

whole foods: an excellent place for a cry, people will probably assume that you are a wealthy emotional person who cant decide between quinoa or couscous and are having a real problem with it. 8.5/10 nordstrom: plenty of chairs for collapsing into especially in the shoe department but you WILL be accosted by salespeople. they work on commission and are hungry for your money. 7/10 for style ikea: OPTIMAL crying destination, can climb into a bed and have a total mental breakdown and nobody will ever be the wiser, the employees WILL NOT bother you under any circumstances, comfortable and accessible, 10/10 hot topic: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10

[pacificrim-archive]

[twitblr]

[sheabutterbitch]

wow…………….

[yeojie]

i feel attacked by this

[awwww-cute]

Went kayaking with my girlfriend and we made the cutest friend!

[whatsfreebaseandwhatsfreeabouti]

excuse me WHY are his hands up i cant handle this

[unclefather]

pick him up

[fruitsoftheape100]

I’m I Like To Rap Battle

[kranyflab]

Ok Elmer you wanna go?

[fruitsoftheape100]

Ok

[kranyflab]

My name is boy I got you I got me I’ll kill you Now I’m superme

[fruitsoftheape100]

Ok Time Cube Principle I’m

[kranyflab]

Doofus Doofus Doofus ape Get tape Tape ape

[kranyflab]

Elmer I give up you win

[fruitsoftheape100]

Ok

[immentallydeficient-deactivated]

can i order ass at mcdonalds

[gharibajameel]

ass machine broke

[gaystation-4]

[stonewallkickball]

WHEN A GUY ASKS ME WHAT I’M INTO

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

a wise man once told me

tootie toot

[farmsuggestion]

understand farmer lingo

lol - lots of lettuce tbh - the bean harvest gtg - got to graze

[omnybus]

Stu, let me ask you a question: how did you not realize until then that you had too many eggs? Nobody sells eggs in a big cloth-covered basket, so you must have done that yourself. That means you spent god-knows-how-long opening up twelve whole cartons of eggs, carefully placing each egg one-by-one inside a big basket, and then covering it with a big picnic cloth… and at no point- at no point- did you ever stop and think “gee, there might be TOO MANY FUCKING EGGS HERE”

You really have lost control of your life.

[omnybus]

I may have gone overboard with this

[uncannysvalleys]

Okay tell me if I'm reading too far into things, but these shade names are kind of fucked up???? Why is white "classic" but brown is trash and black is rot? 😕😕😕