Quiet whispers echoed through the lightly dimmed room, the air rich of cigarettes smoke and a breeze of the fresh autumn wind blowing outside. The two lay in bed next to each other, the girl stealing glances at the mans sharp features, his scars and the way he looks oh so distant right now, but only in thought, physically he’s right here, with her.
“Where are you right now?” The soft feminine voice breaks through the silence. Jason inhaled the smoke deeply before exhaling. “You don’t want to know, pretty girl…”
They promised to be without labels, casual, but somehow, some day, this casual turned into him coming to her apartment after his job, her texting him whenever he ate, buying his favorite snacks, them meeting up for dinner in her bakery. When did casual turn into this? Jason was never good with keeping things serious, him working with bats took a toll on him. He never promised the girl a serious relationship, but now things changed and both of them felt it.
A hum leaves the girls lips as she traced his tattoo in thought. A silent moment followed by the sound of her quiet snicker. „I feel it too… you know?“ The man inhales the smoke and sighs. „Feel what?“ Him acting like nothing is going on, like nothing has changed, makes the girl stop her movement. Inside his mind he was cursing himself, he always knew a way to fuck it up. „Princess I-“
„It’s okay.“ Her voice is soft and hesitant as if she’s not believing her own words. His arm tightens around her, not allowing her to move away if she wanted, he couldn’t risk losing her warmth. With one swift movement he put his cigarette in the ashtray, turned them around, him hovering over her, his face nestling in her neck. It’s his way of saying he’s sorry. His way of saying 'I do feel it'.
The girl knew, he couldn’t commit. He told her from the start, that he ‘doesn’t like it', but she realized the truth only a few weeks later. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, because boy does he know he’s already committed without him even noticing, but he’s terrified of the power she might hold if he’s letting himself fall completely.
Her fingers tangle themselves into his hair, playing with the soft curls in his nape. She feels herself calm down, she wasn’t really angry to begin with, she could never be upset with him setting his boundaries. However it did hurt her that he didn’t even try to talk about it, about how things changed. “I’m scared too… only a little though…”
As an answer she received a quiet grumble and him pulling her closer, pressing a soft kiss to her collarbone. The girl tugs on his hair making him pull away slightly, he was frowning and looked closed up. Her hand softly traveled from his nape all the way to his cheek to caress it gently. “Don’t do that…” Her thumb brushed against the crease forming between his eyebrows.
“Do what?”
“Lock me out…”
His eyes softened slightly and a sigh left his lips as his tense shoulders eased up a little. “You’re wasted on a relationship Iike this… and you know it.” The girls nose scrunched up, a teasing grin forming on her face. “I feel pretty comfy here…” The man fights a smile as he looked down on her. “You’re an idiot…
“I want this…” The genuine look on her face scared him. “I’m not relationship material, princess.” He was about to pull away but she turned his head once again to her. “We don’t need to label it…but I’m not looking elsewhere and I think, you’re not either…?” She trails off, her mind didn’t even think of the possibility that he could’ve been sleeping with others as well.
“Fuck no I haven’t, shit they’re not you-“ A grin spreads on her face as the words leave his lips. “Oh wipe that stupid smile off your face.” He rolls his eyes and softly pushes her head back.
A heartily laugh escapes her as she allowed herself to fall back into the pillows. He watched her with amusement in his eyes. “Exclusive but no labels…?” He mused, thinking of having her all to himself, having her but not needing to label it would be a dream. The girl nodded and blew some hair out of her face. “I’d be up for it. I mean, we already do everything together-“ “That’s because you’re clingy as shit.”
A fake dramatic gasp makes him raise an eyebrow in amusement. “How rude.” He grins and leans back down so he can nuzzle his face back into her neck. “You know it’s fucking true…”
“Doesn’t make it less rude…”
Her fingers went back to caressing his hair, a peaceful silence settling between the two. A moment of contentment. They had each other, maybe one day it will have a label but for now-
“No label…” He mumbled against her skin, placing a soft kiss on her pulse point.
“No label…” A soft smile is on her face as she closes her eyes, enjoying the faint touch of a lover. “But yours.” A quiet growl escaped him, making her snicker softly.
Even if he didn’t like labels, he could get used to her calling herself 'his'.
And maybe inside he’s longing for her to call him 'hers'.
Weeks. Maybe even months have passed since he last returned home. At first it hurt him to stay away for so long, but now? He was more unsure of how he should even explain why he stayed away for so long, why he couldn‘t have returned home. How his last mission made him have to leave a man, a friend, alone to die. How he had to pretend to kill his friends wife and kidnap his baby just to get him to go there.
How could he ever return to his family after ruining theirs? What gave him the right to have a perfect family at home when Ethan died trying to protect his?
But his family was back at home waiting for him ever since he stepped out of the front door. Leaving his wife with his baby alone. Leaving the responsibility of a loving husband and father behind him. He thought he could return soon after he left but the way things turned out to be made him dread to come back home, to tell her about what he did, what kind of man he had become and how he killed someone, sent someone to their death, for a mission.
So he turned to the only thing he knew, alcohol. He has been sitting in bars for over a month. Drink after drink in his hand. Drinking the pain and worries away the way he did before Piers found him. Only this time he can‘t forget anything, he can‘t forget the pain in Mias voice as she thought Ethan would come with Chris onto the plane, that Ethan would flee. But he went back. Nightmares haunted him ever since. Seeing himself walking back, her, his love screaming his name, sobbing. Then he‘d wake up. Drenched in sweat. He started hating himself each night a little more.
It hurt him to keep his wife in the dark about all of this, to not tell her where he is right now. Her messages got shorter, but the pain and hurt in them grew. He felt her desperation through the screen. He felt as if their connection grew weaker, not his love for her though. It wouldn‘t go away. It couldn‘t. and after everything he did these past years, her feelings didn‘t grow weak either, not even after how he was treating her right now. He didn’t respond to the texts, not one. He could imagine her hurt whenever she saw the little ‚seen‘ on the bottom of her messages. It didn‘t feel great to treat her like this, how could it? She was all he adored. And he knew he wouldn‘t stop adoring her, not for a long time.
But as her messages grew more desperate, so did his need to drink. His need to forget. His need to come home.
He couldn‘t come back. What would she think of him? Think of his actions?
As Chris was in his misery so was his wife. His wife back at home barely had any sleep, she couldn‘t, because what if Chris would come back? Text her back? Tell her that he needs help, that she should contact Leon, Jill or maybe even Claire. She had to be ready. Not one time did she think she could find her husband anywhere near a bar, not after his history of drinking. „I don‘t care what happened, please just come home. Just come home to me.“ Seen. Oh how she wished, he‘d just write the smallest respond.
Each day she cried herself to sleep, each day she only woke up to take care of their child.
„Claire stopped by today, she said I should give up on you.“
„I can‘t give up on you.“
„I don‘t want to.“
Her messages grew sadder.
„Chris, I need you home.“
„I need to know you‘re safe.“
Seen.
Seen.
Seen.
A small sign that he‘s still alive.No, a small sign that he night be still alive.
„Caroline just turned four, she misses her daddy.“
Seen.
Then one night. 6 months had passed since he first left. One night the front door opened. Loud banging was heard from downstairs, scaring her out of the little sleep she could get. She was scared, because at this point the idea of someone breaking in was more realistic than Chris coming home. It was sad, that the first thing that came to her mind was someone breaking and not her husband coming home. The banging continued, it might‘ve even grown louder, but in her state of shock she wouldn‘t be able to tell. Slowly she took one of the pistols Chris hid in their drawer. She couldn‘t handle guns. She never had to. Chris always assured her she wouldn‘t have to use it. But right now she needed it, the thought of someone hurting her, hurting her baby, filled her with fear.
Her feet quietly took her to her daughters room, stoping at the door to check on her. Nothing. A sigh of relief left her as she continued her way. At least her daughter was asleep safe and sound. Walking downstairs she heard quiet curses, causing her heart to drop.
“Chris?”
Her voice was filled with pain, she did not look like the girl, no the woman, he had left behind. In her place was a Wrack, only barely could you recognize the beauty in her. It was his fault. All of this was his fault. He did not just ruin the Winters family, no, he ruined his own. The one he worked so hard on. The one he should’ve protected and came home to.
It all dawned to him. If he would’ve just come home when the mission was done…
And for the first time in months, he allowed himself to feel.
To feel the guilt.
The anger.
The pain.
It all hit him like a truck. Crashing into his open arms, wrapping its fingers around his heart and just started squeezing. Squeezing until his eyes welled up with tears and he cried. He cried for the winters. He cried for his own family and he cried for her. For the woman he ruined. For the mother of his child. His wife. The person that supported him by everything he did, everything he ever planned. Everything he was. And him? He left her, left her alone to rot , knowing she had a hard time without him there, had a hard time in general with even just talking to people. He left her alone and ruined her. How could he do this to her?
To their daughter?
To their family?
A soft hand on his cheek made him flinch, the common touch of a lover scared him. Made him fear that he ruined it, Made him fear that if he’d open his eyes again, she would be gone. Fearing that none of this is real. That she‘s not real.
How did he even end up back at home? He didn‘t know, he didn‘t care.
He could only remember some snippets of how he got here. How the taxi driver looked at him disgusted.Had he looked so bad? He hadn`t shaved since he left home, probably reeked of whiskey. That fucking whiskey.
But nothing mattered, not now. Not the whiskey or how he got here. All that matters is the way her touch felt in his rough skin, how he was barely worth being under her gentle gaze. A sob ripped through him. A repeating mumble of apologies left his lips over and over again, tears just continued to fall, continued to soak her fingers, but she never took her hand away, she wouldn‘t dare. „Shh… it‘s okay, you‘re home. You‘re safe.“ Her whispers felt like prayers that could safe his soul, could make him forget his pain and his troubles… But they could not undo his sins. Could not undo how he killed his friend.
„I did something…“ His sobs broke her heart, the way the words left him made her heart stop for a second. „I couldn‘t safe him.“ His fingers were clawing on her arm, desperately trying to hold her closer, she did notwithstanding it, she kneeled down next to him and let him embrace her, use her for his own comfort. It did not matter to her that she was hurting in this moment or the past months. All that mattered to her was that he was there. it felt like a dream and if it was, she wouldn‘t want to wake up.
His head was nestled in the crock of her neck, the tears wouldn#t stop falling. Both of them weren’t able to tell who they were from. The pain they shared in this exact moment made them feel something, feel alive for the first time. Chris felt sober, his mind was clearer than ever before. And her? She stayed quiet, let him talk, eat him cry as tears fell from her eyes. She wasn#t crying for her broken heart, no, she was crying for the broken little boy in her arms. The boy that clung onto her like she wold disappear if he just let go.
Minutes, maybe even hours passed before both of them realized that Chris was finally home.
It was amusing to him how such little pieces of thread could calm him down. But they did. And here he was, his fingers mindlessly fidgeting with the thread of a bracelet. A red bracelet to be specific. One he would’ve called „stupid“ not too long ago. But now, could he even call it stupid if it had become a part of him in such a short time?
In the military many men and women had something that reminded them of home, of who they’re here for, who they’re fighting for or want to return home to. Some had photos. Yes, König did also have them, he had his pockets filled with small things that reminded him of her. Others had small stuffed animals laying in their rooms back at the base. And again, König, of course, had them too.
He loved having small things to remind himself of her, to keep himself grounded. His friends also knew better than to touch his stuff, especially the one teddy bear wearing small traditional leather pants holding a gingerbread-heart with a writing on it saying „Ich liebe dich.“, like it was tradition in Austria.
When it came to small reminders of his love at home, he was the one that had everything. Of course his friends thought he was crazy, but he needed those small little things desperately to get him through the day. The one little bracelet that had him fidgeting with whenever he was feeling slightly on the edge, as he was now, was one he got gifted early on in their relationship. He hasn’t taken it off ever since.
This little piece of thread, knotted together with some beads, was the most precious thing he owned.
A small smile tugged at his lips underneath his masks as his mind wandered back to how he even got it.
It was a late tuesday evening when she walked in with a bright grin playing on her lips. „Oh no, what’s going on in your head again, Schatz?“ He couldn’t help but chuckle. „We, my lovely boyfriend, will make some bracelets!“ The excitement in her voice was unmatched by anything he ever heard, he couldn’t say no, but he was tired.
König had just returned from one of the first missions he had ever since they got together and all he wanted was to snuggle down with her, have her in his arms reminding him that he’s not all he is out there in the field. He’s not s psychotic insane killer, not like his opposites think. Yes, he might be a war hero, but so we’re thousands of others. Yes, he was good at his job, but he was only as good as the next one.
He knew that whenever he comes home, that that’s where he’s most important and most needed. „Schatz…“ His voice was draggy, hesitant to tell her that he just wants to sleep.
Sleep all the pain and worry off.
Sleep all the nightmares snd blood off.
Sleep off ever needing to be away from her.
A soft smile replaced the overbearing grin on the girls face. „You’re tired, aren’t you?“ Guilt. It was the first thing he noticed in her voice, the quick change from barely manageable excitement to this unsure sound of guilt in her voice, made his stomach turn. He didn’t want to lie to her though, he also didn’t want to pressure himself into staying awake and possibly snapping at her if everything got too much.
He had the tendencies to do so if he was overly exhausted.
With a simple nod and an apologetic smile he opened his arms slightly, making room for her to lean against his chest. „How about that, ja? You can lean against my chest, make your little bracelets, while I hold you, watch you, maybe get a small nap in…“ His smile turning into a soft grin as the girl climbed into his lap.
She didn’t ask questions, she never did. She knew he wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t really exhausted. That’s who he was, he would do anything for her, even put his own needs aside just to make her happy.
Settling down onto his lap the girl took the thread and beads and placed them next to her, before getting to work. König couldn’t help but admire her more than the show she was watching. Small giggles escaped the girl as she bit her lips in concentration, her mind going god knows where.
She was adorable.
She was perfect.
She just fit right in his arms.
Soon his chin found her shoulder as he rested it against her. „Red bracelet, hm?“ His voice was soft, interested in what she was doing and what her beautiful mind had though of as an outcome.
Nodding she leaned towards him slightly, her nose brushing against his as both of them grinned like giddy lovesick teenagers. „It’s gonna look great and you know it.“ Going back to work he couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her enthusiasm.
Her enthusiasm and optimistic being was what he loved the most about her. It was what he admired the most and needed the most.
An hour passed, the loving couple was still all snuggled up. König was resting his eyes a little, he still held her tightly against himself. With a huff the girl threw the bracelet onto the couch after she was done, her movement waking König up.
A frown was settled on her face and he couldn’t help but reach out to caresses her cheek. „Whats wrong, mein Schatz..?“ He was worried, he hated seeing her upset. Anger and disappointment flashed up in her eyes and she shook her head, her hair falling into her face, making her seem even less at ease than before.
„It looks stupid… I made a mistake and now it’s all weird!“ König caressed her hip softly as he leaned over to pick up the bracelet. She threaded all the red beads onto the bracelet. „Where did you mess up?“ With a huff the girl pointed to a place where she knotted the thread wrong, it was barely visible under the beads.
A soft chuckle escaped König as he pulled her closer. „I think it looks great, Liebling… you can barely see the Knoten there.“ He turned her chin softly so she was looking at it and pointed to the at the barely visible know that was hidden underneath the beads.
“I see it, and I don’t like it…”
A moment of understanding silence fell between them. He understood her need to be perfect and to make everything the way she wants them to be.
“I see it and I love it, Liebling.”
His voice held a soothing tone, knowing it would help her calm her nervous mind.
“You do?”
“I do…”
With a soft smile and an encouraging nod he underlined his opinion. He loved it. A lot.
“Can I have it?”
A small smile formed on the girls face, excitement returning. Königs heart swelled up at the sight of her bright eyes searching for his. A disbelieving look on the girls face.
“Really?”
A soft chuckle left König as he kissed the spot between her shoulder and her neck while nodding softly. He knew she could get insecure about things she likes doing and the image she has of things and how they should look in her head, so it’s his job, and always will be, to make sure she sees that its perfect even if it doesn’t turn out how she wants it to be.
“Of course, would you please tie it around my wrist?”
With quick movements the girl tied the bracelet around his wrist, making sure it’s secure and wouldn’t fall off the next time he moved his hand. The bracelet was extremely visible on him,, making her unsure if he’ll actually wear it for a longer time.
A soft kiss on her cheek made her squirm but also cleared her mind from the doubt she was feeling.
He’ll wear it. She’s sure of it.
“Who knows, Liebling. Maybe Ghost or Soap will want one too if they see it, ja?”
A soft and quiet giggle made König smile proudly. The image of him threatening the two men just for them to call his girlfriend and ask her about the bracelet she made, was already imprinted into his mind.
Yes, he would even threaten them with his gun up to their head just to hear the excitement in her voice again, because whenever he heard it he felt like he could breath again.
With every small giggle that left her, he felt like his heart beat again.
With every smile or simple look she gave him, he felt like he was alive again.
On days when he felt depressed, couldn’t leave the bed because of all the things he had been through. She was there.
He’d be damned if he wouldn’t try to do everything to make her even the slightest bit happier.
In their quiet and precious moment, the girl turned towards König, straddling his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face between it and his shoulder.
“Don’t lose it, okay…?”
It was a simple question, but the meaning behind it was something so deep that hurt his soul. This was one thing, one worry, he couldn’t take away from her. He hated himself for it.
“I won’t.” His hand caressed hee back softly making sure she knows he’s here.
Making sure she knows he’s going to come back home, like he always has.
“Colonel!”
The voice of one of the recruits snapped him out of his thoughts as he heard their voices all mix together. With a small smile under his mask and a last look down to the bracelet, his eyes softening at the thought of coming home.
pretty pink flowers and that bloody cherry blossom tree.
Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader
Flowers.
All she ever dreamed of was to plant pretty pink flowers in their garden. Their garden in the back of their home. The home they were going to buy.
The home they would start a family in and settle down.
"Hm, how do you feel about flowers, Simon?" Her voice filled his mind as memories flashed before his eyes. A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest as he looked up to her from his book with a raised eyebrow.
"Flowers?" His voice was filled with amusement as he put the book aside, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What would you need flowers for, love?"
His words were greeted with an eye-roll. "Plant them, Simon, I want to plant them." Trying to be serious her act quickly broke as a bright grin spread across her face, before she plopped herself down next to him, pulling one of the couch cushions onto her lap, hugging it to her chest.
Simons eyes followed her movements, a hint of a soft smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Admiration was visible in his eyes.
Admiration for her smile.
Admiration for the way she loved.
Admiration for her being.
"I'll plant some pretty pink flowers in out garden," A look of confusion passed his features. "Our garden?" The amusement in his voice was even more noticeable, this whole conversation was funny to him, yet he enjoyed it just as much, maybe even more, than the ones they normally had.
"The one in the house we're going to buy, silly!" The grin on her face grew bigger as she saw Simon fight a smile of his own.
She had it all planned out. Their whole future.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
Thoughts about future troubled him, left him restless.
Thoughts about future made her happy, excited for what's to come.
The young girl had dreams, big ones and most of them included him, well maybe even all of them. Her thoughts were filled with him, ever since she met him she was intoxicated by his presence and now his presence was everywhere. She loved it.
Simon saw it as his job to make the dreams come true, to fulfill every little wish that leaves her lips. If she wanted pink flowers in the backyard of a house they're going to get? She'll damn well get that as soon as it's possible for Simon to do.
"Pink flowers, got that. Anything else you want, pretty girl?"
Anything she'd want. She just had to say the words.
He would build their home with his own bare hands, working night and day, if the words just left her pretty lips.
A soft laugh escaped her, some hair falling into her face. Almost as if it was bodily instinct, he reached out and twirled the little strand around his thumb and index finger, a small smile now clearly visible on the cold soldiers face before he secured the strand behind her ear.
His hand stayed on her cheek.
He wasn't ready to let go of her warmth yet.
He would never be ready to let go of it.
"A cherry blossom tree, I want a cherry blossom tree next to a small pond."
Her eyes searched for his only to find them already admiring her with the most intense look of love in them. She knew it was impossible, but she wanted to challenge him.
"Okay."
Simons voice was soft, but he wouldn't say more.
Simon "Ghost" Riley was known to be a man, that lets his actions speak, rather than making empty threads of promises.
The both of them didn't know how quick it was to change. No one knew how bad the situation would be. They thought it was going to be an easy mission, it was the only reason why the med-team was allowed to leave the tent to take a breather once in a while.
It was supposed to be a quick in and back out, no troubles. But they had the wrong information and everything turned into complete mayhem.
The building was supposed to be empty, but there were dozens of snipers on the roof, hidden in the windows, scattered around the area. Graves said it would be safe.
It wasn't.
As soon as Simon realized what was happening his eyes widened. Everything was as if it slowed down. He turned back around to the medical tent as soon as he heard Soaps voice. "L.t. the building is not clear! Snipers everywhere!"
It felt as if Johnnys words manifested them to start, as if they just needed and wanted them to know that they were here. "The med tent, Johnny! Get them fucking out of here!" Simon, the cold ruthless soldier didn't care if Soap heard the fear in his voice, because his mind could only think about her, the pink flowers, the house, the bloody cherry blossom tree.
His feet almost gave out as he ran back to the medical tent.
His heart was racing. His eyes watering.
Everything he cared about was in danger, he couldn't lose someone again. Especially not her.
Boom.
The fabric of the tent flew in various directions accompanied by painful screams.
No. It couldn't be. His throat felt like it was closing.
"Simon!" A voice called from the direction of the tent and his heart stopped as he saw her run up to him.
"Fucking hell." He felt like he could breath again as he got closer to her.
A quiet gasp. Blood splattering onto his mask.
No.
Blood was pouring from her stomach as she held onto it, being pushed backwards from the force of the weapon. Her eyes slowly raised from the wounds locking with his.
He hated what he saw.
He hated seeing her fear.
"Simon..." Her lips were already painted red from the blood gathering in her mouth.
He was quick to catch her before her knees gave out completely. "Don't talk, don't fucking talk. " His voice broke as he tried to reach Soap. "Johnny call Price. Call fucking Price!" He was panicking. His hand was pressed against her wound. "My dad will be okay, Simon..."
Her voice was weak. "My beautiful Simon..." A small smile was on her face as she reached up to cup his mask covered cheek. Tears fell from his eyes as he looked down on her.
She was fading.
"It's okay..." He shook his head slightly as he tried to talk.
"It's not, love." His voice was trembling with emotions. Simon felt the same pain he felt when he lost his mother, maybe even worse.
"The world didn't deserve you..."
Her voice was fading.
"Stop talking. You shouldn't talk." He knew the wound was fatal. He couldn't safe her.
A weak chuckle left her before she coughed up more blood.
"I love you, don't forget that okay? I love you so much, Simon."
The words took her last energy, she could barely finish them.
When Soap found Ghost he was still holding her body close. It took Price, her father, to come and get Simon to let go of her.
To let her get carried away.
Simon didn't talk to anyone for mere months, maybe even a year.
But one morning Price woke up to knocking on his door, as he opened the door he saw Simon waiting outside. He didn't say a word but nodded to his truck. Price had a hard time as well this past year, it was filled with sadness, anger and hate.
He was angry at Simon.
He was angry at himself.
And he was angry at her.
Following Simon they sat quietly in the car driving god knows where.
The first thing he saw was a house. Simons eyes were empty as he unlocked the door. In the wardrobe they were some coats and boots she always used to wear.
This wasn't just Simon buying a house.
It was Simon buying her a home and fulfilling her dreams.
But he didn't stop in the house, he lead Price to the backyard. It felt as if it was getting easier to breath for both of them.
Arriving in the backyard it was surrounded by pink flowers.
In the middle there was a small pond right next to a cherry blossom tree.
On the cherry blossom tree there was a sign, but Price had a hard time believing what he saw, Simon did all that in a year?
"Simon..."
"I started with this two years ago... After the mission I wanted to show her the house and propose in the garden." He didn't turn to Price, his hand being clenched into fists at his sides.
A soft chuckle left Simon. "She didn't think I'd be able to plant the fucking tree. I only planted it... after. The pond was hard but I managed."
Price felt his throat close with emotions as Simon walked up to the tree, placing a hand close to the sign and squatting down next to it, whispering something quietly.
"This is our home, even if she won't be able to live in it anymore." Simons voice broke quietly as he rested his forehead against the trunk of the tree.
Price walked up behind Simon and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
He wasn't alone with this pain.
As Price studied the sign on the tree he couldn't fight the tears anymore.
"For the things you didn't get to see. For the pretty pink flowers you didn't get to plant. The home you never got to decorate. The bloody cherry blossom tree, you didn't think we'd have. My love."
Underneath the words her name was written in Simons handwriting.
Warnings: mentions of character dying, angst, gore? but not really
Word count: 2 173
bang.
as soon as his bullet left his gun he knew something was wrong. He couldn’t describe the anxiety that was blossoming in his stomach but he knew, whatever it was, was going to be fatal.
A quiet gasp broke him out of his stare, out of his feelings, feelings he should not have at this very moment. Your hands were clenching your stomach tightly, blood oozing.
It didn’t make sense to him… why were you bleeding?
The dots connected and his eyes widened. Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley never misses… until now. The man he tried to kill, decided to kill him. Decided to pull the only thing that could make him, make Ghost loose all senses of life or death, in front of him as Simons finger pulled the trigger.
When had you gotten here? His heart was beating fast, he didn’t understand what just happened. His hand was shaking, his gun was shaking. It wasn’t before he was sure. His aim wasn’t off he knew that.
His eyebrows furrowed as he took in the scene. It felt like hours were passing as he watched you fall to the ground.
It has been five seconds since his bullet hit you. Since he signed your death.
Simon felt like he couldn’t breath, like the air he was breathing was mocking him, telling him that you won’t be the only thing to die today.
The man had already gotten away. He did not think that his plan would work, after all ‘Ghost’ was known for his coldness, he didn't think the deadly soldier would stop in his track for a mere girl. But this wasn’t ‘Ghost’, not in this exact moment.
The moment he saw the blood, your blood, in comparison to your skin, he was Simon. Your Simon.
His eyes were glued to you as your form was about to hit the ground, the dirty ground who is not worthy of your being. He felt like he was going to throw up, was this normal? He wanted to forget what fear tastes like, he thought he did forget it.
Has it always tasted this bitter?
He couldn't remember. He felt numb, felt. Not in this very moment though. As if something snapped inside him, his feet carried him towards you in an instant, his strong arms catching you before the damned ground could even think about touching you. His teeth were gritted, anger and anxiety climbed their way up his throat like bile searching for a way to torture him for the crime he just committed.
"Lieutenant..?" Your voice was weak as you looked up to him, shock clear on your face, lip trembling and paling. He wouldn't let you go, not like this. You were going to be okay, he knew it. Fuck, he was going to do everything to make sure that you survive this.
"Y/N..."
Who was this talking? How did he feel his lips move, but not his voice coming out? Who was this man talking?
His voice was unsure, shaking almost. If he was in the right state of mind right now, he'd have called it 'whiny' maybe even annoying.
A soft smile pulled at your lips, before you winced quietly. "Hey at least you didn't miss completely?" You couldn't help but giggle weakly as you squeezed your eyes shut. Your skin burning like you were set on fire.
Never had Simon wanted to bathe in something so pure and innocent as your laughter, he would be on his knees begging for you to laugh carefree in this exact moment. For your eyes, how he wish you would open them right now, he couldn’t get enough of them. The way you expressed everything, every little emotion, through your eyes made him feel dizzy at times.
Fuck, not only at times. Every time he found himself staring at you he wished he could've stopped. He wished he could've forced his eyes away from you, from your smile, your eyes. Your everything.
Right now he was too scared to even look away from you.
"Don't say shit like that." His voice was barely above a whisper, he was scared. Scared like a kid, like he was as a kid. "You were just starting to like me, Gh-." He shook his head.
He never even disliked her to begin with, how could he? You were everything he could ever long for, but he couldn't have you. He couldn't infest your pureness, but now? What was all of his protection of your light from his darkness worth if you would die, because of him?
"Stop saying that shit right now, Y/N. I never once disliked you, angel...." His voice broke slightly. He had to call you this at least one time, even if it would be the last time.
"Ghost-"
"Simon. Call me Simon, angel..."
How was he ever able to call her something else? Calling you 'angel' felt right, it felt like it already belonged to you ever since you stepped into his life, annoying the shit out of him.
"Simon..."
A weak smile formed on your lips. They were tinted with your own blood, tears gathering in your eyes as you coughed up blood.
The blood splattered onto his masks, marking him with the blood of his victim.
He felt sick to his stomach, he couldn't care less about the blood on his masks. The emotions were too much for him, how could he survive with the guilt if he was already suffocating?
"It's okay, Si... I'm okay." You had always wanted to call him that, now seemed like the right time.
"N-no you're not, love."
He reached for his pager. "Man down, sent medical troop to location." His voice was shaking as he informed the base of your situation. "They're gonna get here soon, okay? You just stay with me, okay?" Simon was panicking.
You couldn't help but look up to this wonderful asshole above you.
Your eyes felt heavy.
As soon as the doors opened your eyes closed.
As the medical team arrived they saw the silhouette of Simon and you. He was holding your wound and caressed you hair softly, you head was rested on his lap. His hold on you was tight, protective. No one could hurt you anymore.
"Her pulse is weak." He said cold and low. His eyes not darting away from your blood covered face. "Take her to the base and treat her." He picked you up with ease before handing you to someone he trusted.
Simon didn't look back at you.
A few weeks later you were finally able to leave the hospital bed to walk around a bit. Luckily Simon didn't hit any important organs, but even if he did, they said they still would've been able to save her.
Counting the days you waited for Simon to visit you. He didn't, not once, nor did anyone mention him asking about you. You still looked rough, your rib cage still bruised from the impact of the shot, the shot wound wasn't completely closed yet, but it was covered by a bandage.
Looking at the wound it caused something inside you to go into a state of shock sometimes. It reminded you of death, made you taste the foul taste of dying over and over again.
It reminded you of the pain, the pain you felt knowing that Simon would have to live with the guilt of killing you if they wouldn't have been able to safe you.
Walking around the halls you can't help but notice that somehow Simon wasn't here either. Normally you'd be able to find Simon wander around the halls every minute of the day.
The hope was starting to leave you, had he forgotten about you?
As you walked into the group room you couldn't help but smile slightly. He was there. He was sitting with König and Soap. Walking towards them you smiled exhausted.
It’s as if your presence upset him, because the moment you were in front of him, Simon got up brushed softly against your arm and left. His whole body was tense as he brushed past you.
Why?
Why were you being treated as if you did anything wrong?
Anger flared up in your stomach as you turned away from Soap and König, quickly following Simon.
“Get lost, Y/N.” He sounded rough. His voice raspy and hoarse.
“No. What’s wrong with you?”
You arrived at his room door and he sighed leaning his forehead against it. “Nothing, just get lost.”
He wouldn’t look at you.
He just couldn’t.
“Why didn’t you visit..?” Your voice was quiet, vulnerable. You had wanted him there, wished he would’ve been there for you.
Treating your wounds alone hurt so much more than it did whenever Simon helped you.
Dealing with pain was so much worse than it was when Simon was there to annoy you with his sarcasm.
A low sigh escaped Simons lips as he shook his head.
“Don’t even try saying the ‘you were busy and you couldn’t’ bullshit. Because we both know you could’ve.”
Simon chuckled dryly.
“You shouldn’t be close to me.”
Your features softened as your lips parted in a silent gasp, immediately understanding what he meant.
“Simon…” Your voice was soft. Compassionate.
“I almost fucking killed you.” His voice was shaking and unsteady.
“But you didn’t, Si.“
“Whenever I close my eyes I see you laying there… in your own fucking blood. My bullet dragging its way through your chest”
His words left a burning sensation in your chest. You should’ve known it would be bad for him, maybe even worse for you. But you hadn’t thought that Simon, the Simon even you knew to be cold towards who he shot or killed, would be close to tears at the memory of you laying in your own blood.
Almost dying. Almost.
„Simon look at me.“
Your voice was determined. You wanted him to look at you, to see and realize that you’re still here.
That he did not kill you.
His hands were trembling as he held onto the doorknob. He shook his head. He couldn’t.
„Simon.“
You could hear him curse. He was fighting himself. He knew he shouldn’t be close to you, shouldn’t even be breathing the same air as you.
But he had to know. He had to make sure you’re okay and see that you’re still alive. That you’re here and breathing.
Simon slowly turned around, it was visible on his face that he was fighting against the fear, the guilt.
As he turned around you slowly walked closer to him, wanting to make sure he feels you being here as well.
His eyes would focus on every part of you except your eyes, he would not look into your eyes.
The moment he first looked at you, his shoulder suddenly stopped feeling so heavy. His heart sped up. His eyes felt weird, he didn’t like how they felt.
„I’m here Simon…“ Your voice was quiet, gentle, as you reached up and softly touched his cheek, leaving him enough room to pull away.
You saw his eyes filling with tears as they finally connected with yours a quiet sob which you barely caught made your lips part as you looked up to him with admiration.
„I’m so sorry, angel…“
His voice broke as he held onto your hand on his cheek, tears hitting your skin leaving a burning behind.
His eyes held so much pain it hurt your heart. It made it unbearable to look at him but somehow it made your heart grow even fonder of him in this special moment.
„I know…I’m not angry at you Simon.“ A soft and gentle smile graced your lips. „I never was, I don’t think I would’ve been if you did it on purpose. That’s how much power you have over me…“ The last few words just slipped out of your mouth, but oh did you mean them.
A quiet chuckle came from the man in front of you. „You got me crying in the hallway in front of my room, angel. Think about how much power you have over me…“
His hand came up to your cheek caressing it softly, the calluses on his hand felt rough, leaving a tingle in its awakening.
Closing your eyes you leaned into his touch, feeling protected and safe.
„I never thought I’d say this, but I’m happy you shot me, Simon.“ Your voice held a teasing tone as you heard him huff in mock annoyance at your words.
„Fucking hell, maybe I should’ve aimed better- Hey!“ A chuckle erupted from his chest as you hit his shoulder, looking up to him in mock anger.
His arms wrapped around you like he was a touch starved little boy. His embrace felt warm, safe. He rested his head on top of yours closing his eyes. A soft sigh of relief left his lungs as he squeezed you softly, being sure to avoid your wound.
"When we get out of here, you know you're not gonna get rid of me easily, right?"
The girls voice was filled with relief as they finally escaped the police station, leaving all the nasty creatures behind. Thinking the only time they'll return to her, will be as demons in her nightmares.
But she was wrong because they did need to return, they needed to go back to the place where everything started, the place where a traumatizing sight made her heart clench for the man that saved her.
"Fuck, maybe I should just leave you behind then." The man answered in a playful way, his eyebrow rising teasingly as he couldn't hide the smile sneaking onto his face, making his comment seem like a promise.
A promise that he won't leave her.
A promise that he wouldn't mind having her around.
But most importantly a promise that they were going to get out of this nightmare, together.
A soft smile settled on the girls face as she followed him. She would follow him anywhere if it meant her won't leave her behind.
Staying quiet she followed Leon with her flashlight in her hand, her breathing quickened with each step they took towards the police station. The man didn't have any time to even think about the dangers that lay ahead or could still be back at the station. He wanted to go in and get out as fast as they could without one of them being fatally hurt.
'You're not gonna get rid of me' She repeated in her mind as she followed Leons every step. Her mind was going everywhere. To the zombies before them, to the zombies behind them. Everything scared her, but the fact that Leon was there with her made her feel at ease with maybe dying.
After all, someone would care.
He would care.
Leon was her anchor to reality at this point. She barely knew him, but he might be the last person she ever will know. "Leon if..." She started but stopped herself as he turned around, his eyes stern. He would not let her finish this sentence. Her words dying down in her throat.
"Sorry, officer." A faint smile was playing on his lips as he studied her for a second. "I'm gonna need to get used to that." He mumbled under his breath as he barely breathed out a chuckle.
"Come on now, we have to find-"
A loud crash made both of them take a step back. Leons arm was stretched in front of her, making her know that he would do anything in his power to keep her from getting hurt.
To keep her from dying.
In front of them was a tall man with a hat and coat. The girl couldn't look up to his face if she tried, he was tall. Inhumanly tall.
"Run." Leon whispered as he turned around and pushed her as she was in a state of shock. "Run!" His voice left no room for hesitation, as her feet quickly started to burn with the desire to run and hide. Her heart beating fast. Her heart beating fast enough to break out of her rib cage. All she could focus on was taking the right doors, the shots that left Leons pistol as he tried to shoot down the mysterious man.
Nothing worked, she could hear him curse.
Leon was uneasy? She was having a whole panic attack.
What she didn't notice was a Licker over their heads as they finally put some distance between them and Mr.X. "Fuck, that fucker was invulnerable." Leon panted. "What was that?" Her voice was shaking. as she put her hands on her thighs trying to catch her breath. "Leon, what was that?" Her voice was louder than before, causing the Licker to notice them and launch itself at them.
The Licker grabbed the girl, causing her to scream out in pain. Her scream was blood curdling, Leon was quick to kill the Licker but he was to late, the girl was on the floor clutching onto her side. Blood was oozing from between her fingers and her breath was flat.
"Leon?"
He couldn't breath, he felt as if he was going to suffocate looking at her laying there.
"Y/N..." His voice broke as he kneeled next to her, a pool of blood surrounding her.
"I guess you really have to leave me behind, huh?" A pain-filled chuckle escaped her drying lips, followed by a wince.
"Don't say that, I'll get you out of here. I promised you, sweetheart." Leon chuckled hectic as he pressed onto her wound with one hand.
Rip.
He quickly ripped his shirt apart before he wrapped it tightly around her side. He knew it wasn't going to help her. Not as much as he hoped at least.
"Okay..you got to keep going okay?" He smiled sadly down at her as he pressed his hands onto her wound again. The bandage he made up already being drenched in blood.
"It's no use Leon.." A soft smile played on her lips as her eyes were glossy. "I really like your eyes..." Her voice was quiet, weak. "I think I'll be okay with them being the last thing I see."
Leon couldn't help but shake his head. "No, you're gonna live and we'll get out of here. You hear me, Y/N?" A soft chuckle made it past his lips as his eyes filled with angry tears.
He knew he couldn't keep his promise to her.
"Who's gonna annoy me when you're gone, pretty girl?" His voice broke as he smiled faintly down at her. A weak giggle filled the silence.
"So you do fancy me, officer?"
Fuck he did. He couldn't think about a minute without her by his side. Not after everything they went through.
Her hand went up to caress his cheek, blood smearing onto it. He didn't care, he couldn't find it in his heart to care about the blood staining his pale skin.
"Endless like the ocean..."
He could hear that she was fading.
He didn't want her to fade.
He didn't want her light to fade.
"I promise I'll find you again, pretty girl." He heard heavy steps coming closer. He didn't want to leave her.
Lonesome tears dripped from her eyes as she nodded.
"If not now, then in another life?"
Leon couldn't suppress the tears leaving his eyes as he nodded.
Could you do one where the reader is Lagertha younger sister and in a relationship with ivar the boneless
this. this is the one I might be the most excited for to write!
Thank you for your request :)
May the gods forbid.
Ivar Ragnarsson x Reader
Warnings: Language probably?
Words: 2.425
This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was. He wasn't supposed to happen. The gods were playing tricks on her, this couldn't be real. She wanted to hate him, hate how he despised her sister. He was a smartass, an arrogant little boy with anger issues if something didn't go his way.
One son of Ragnar was her greatest fear for her younger sister. Ivar. He was unpredictable and even though the girl was taught how to fight, Lagertha knew that she would not be good enough to protect herself from him. That was the main reason why Lagrtha forbid her sister to leave her side. Lagertha was always very protective of her, even more when the sons of Aslaug and Ragnar started planning to kill her or hurt her the same way she hurt them by killing their mother.
So one night when the girl was upset and searched for a place to hide away, she walked into the woods. Flokis and Helgas place always brought her the most comfort when her and Lagertha fought, those were the times she thought the girl was quietly in her chamber. Sitting down in a small meadow, she leaned back, watching the stars, inhaling the fresh air.
Rustling behind her made her hand quickly shoot to the dagger she kept on her thigh. "Well don't you look cozy." The cold voice of the prince made her flinch as she sat up completely, her body being on alert if he tried anything. "What do you want, Ivar?" The exhaustion from was as clear in her voice and how she said his name as it was on her face. She didn't want to live like this. To live a life that held nothing for her, since she wasn't allowed to do much. Even her nephew Björn was always watching over her when he was here.
Tilting his head Ivar studied her face for a second before crawling over to her and settling down besides her. "I decided I won't kill you." He pursed his lips looking over at her a playful glint in his eyes. "Not yet at least." A small smile pulled at her lips as she averted her face. "Ubbe told us about how Lagertha screamed at you. She was always quiet..." A stern glare from the girl made the boy hold his hands up in defense, a small smirk on his face as he saw her hand moving away from the dagger, finally starting to relax.
Ivar was a simple man, his plan to kill Lagertha was only left uncompleted due to his attraction to her little sister and now having her here in front of him was something he didn't know he longed for. Looking back up at the sky she sighed in frustration. "How is the world out there? You traveled didn't you?" Sitting up straight she turned to him.
The young princes eyebrows raised in surprise as he smiled slightly. "The world is huge, it has so much to see." pouting slightly the girl cursed her sister as she listened to Ivars stories. He told her all about Wessex and the people there, how different their belief are from theirs, which she as well found hilarious. As the night turned colder they took the path back to their home. Not once did they stop talking about what he saw out there and what she would want to see once she'll get out there.
"Gods, I want to see the world, Ivar." Smiling softly she twirled and inhaled the fresh air. Watching her Ivar felt his heart swell at the sight of her carefreeness. "I want to show it to you." His tone was serious and when she looked at him she saw the sincerity in his eyes. "Ivar..." Her voice was a mere whisper, shaking her head she sat down in the dirt near a haystack.
"We can't. Lagertha would never allow this. She wouldn't allow us, Ivar..." She was desperate for him to understand that this would never happen, but he was not having any of it. He would take what he want and if he wanted to have her, then he was going to have her. "Your sister does not control you, nor does anyone else. You should be able to live your life how you want it to be, the gods forbid that you won't live it to the fullest."
Looking around she kissed his cheek quickly. "I'll meet with you in the meadow tomorrow night, don't be late!" She turned around as she quickly ran to her chambers, smiling brightly at him before entering. The young prince couldn't help but grin at her actions, feeling a little giddy himself.
After that night they started sneaking around at night, only sharing small meaningful glances at each other when they passed one another or during a feast. Soon Lagertha grew suspicious, but not because she noticed any of the glances, no, it was because suddenly her sister started training more, stopped questioning her about being able to travel. It was as if she suddenly stopped caring about all that.
Ubbe offered to train with her, Lagertha trusted him so she allowed him to take her sister to the woods during the day as well. Ivar told his brothers about her and how he wanted to see her at any costs as much as he could. In the woods the four of them would train, Ivar didn't trust Sigurd close to her, due to disgusting glances he threw her way when she was merely visiting them over the past years.
She soon found herself growing closer to the brothers and feeling accepted by them. Freedom, was so close she could almost taste it. Walking with Ivar at night was her newly found escape, after he got his greave done for his legs and fixed up his crutches they could even hold hands while walking. Him rubbing her hand soothingly with his thumb, placing ocationally kisses onto her palm , whenever she talked about something that upset her. He enjoyed listening to her almost as much as her gentle kisses he would get to feel whenever his pain was unbearable.
They balanced each other nicely and after a few months the word marriage appeared more and more in their talks about their future. The girl was scared of how her sister would react to her and the youngest Ragnarsson being inseparable and spent every minute they could together.
But she didn't need to tell her, because one day during her and Ubbes training lessons, while she was play fighting with Ivar . Lagertha walked up the path, none of them noticed her sharp eyes watching. Ivar had her pinned down, laughing while she tried to push him of before rolling over and sitting on his stomach, having the prince at her mercy making her grin down at him.
Ubbe and Hvitserk were watching them, drinking ale and laughing at what the other said. Lagertha was disappointed in her, why didn’t she tell her that they were lovers? She continues watching them and filled an old familiar pain in her heart. Ivar was holding her sister now, not strong enough to hurt but strong enough to let her know he had control over the situation but her sister seemed completely fine with it as she leaned into his chest looking up at him with gentle eyes and a loving smile.
Ivars smile matched hers and in this exact moment Lagertha realized that she kept her sister protected from the most beautiful thing out there, a thing she herself shared with Ragnar even after his death. Love. Ivar was similar to Ragnar in many ways, but with her in his arms he resembled his father more than anyone would guess. Of course, she didn’t want her sister to be with someone like Ivar, he was dangerous, but if it is him that makes her as happy as she is right now, then that is all she would ask for.
Returning to her throne back in the great hall Lagertha couldn’t stop thinking about how she should’ve noticed the signs. Ivar was more around than he used to be, it wasn’t his normal behavior. Besides he was being a lot kinder than usual. As Torvi entered the great hall she noticed how lost in thoughts the queen was. „What is the matter?“ She said as she walked next to to sit down by her side. „Did you know about Ivar and my sister?“ Lagertha turned to Torvi catching the younger woman smile apologetic. „Ubbe said I wasn’t supposed to tell you, I apologize.“
As she heard giggles and laughter she could tell the four of them were coming closer, she prepared herself to confront her sister about this. But how was she supposed to? She was spying on her when she found out, not having had one good reason to walk out there in the woods except to check up on her actually being there. Ubbe was the first one to walk into the great hall, he noticed something was up when Torvi didn’t greet him right away. The girl was still outside giggling and whispering. Her whispers could be heard in the whole hall. Quietness settled in as the last three of them walked in, the girl walking a little behind but smiling brightly whenever Ivar would turn around to see if she was still there with him.
„Hello sister!“ The girl greeted and smiles brightly at Lagertha. The queen did not respond, making her feel uneasy as she glanced toward Ubbe, who sighed quietly looking down. Instantly the girl knew what was going on. Panicking she walked closer to her, a nervous laugh escaping her as she looked back to Ivar in reassurance. „It isn’t like you think…“ Lagerthas raised an eyebrow making the girl feel even more uneasy. „Well then how is it? Because it looks like my sister is keeping secrets from me. Keeping secrets because she thinks I don’t want to see her happy or loved.“
The girl gasped softly wondering just how much her sister had seen. „Lagertha, I promise you I do not have any intentions behind my bond with your sister. It’s about her not about you or how you killed my mother.“ Ivar broke the silence looking at Lagertha with pure hatred but his eyes seemed to soften when he looked over at the girl standing close to her. The girl flinched at Ivars harsh words. The woman on the throne couldn’t stop herself from laughing. „I did not even think about that for a second Ivar, because you wouldn’t even be able to.“
„Sister, Ivar would be capable of ruling over Kattegat just as well as you are. His ideas for this village are incredible. If you would just listen to them you’d see how capable he would be to do everything he wanted to.“ With wide eyes the girl just realized what she said, covering her mouth she looked down. „I’m sorry I spoke out of tune.“ Lagertha studied her and saw a lot of how she acted because of Ragnar in her sister, smiling slightly. As her eyes wandered to Ivar, she caught him smirking, his eyes glistening with pride and love as his eyes wandered over her figure.
Getting of her throne Lagertha stopped only in front of her. Her hand went up to cup her cheek, making the girl flinch. The boy tried to crawl over to them making sure the girl stayed unharmed, but Ubbe held him back making the young boy fight against his hold. „He makes you happy, doesn’t he?“ Lagerthas voice was quiet as she smiled down at her sister softly. Nodding her head the girl looked back up at her. „More than anything.“ Her eyes held a sincerity that the woman saw rarely. She was a bit taken aback by her truthfulness. Of course, she was upset about it having to be Ivar. Hvitserk would’ve been easier to accept but sadly that’s not what happened. „How could it be him, he is cruel and no good for you, my sweet sister…“ She could see Ivar lowering his head, knowing that Lagertha was right about him being cruel, not being good enough for the girl.
„He wants to show me the world. He isn’t cruel, he is just easy to upset and in pain, Lagertha…“ Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about how bad Ivars legs had been these past weeks. „The gods are cruel to him sometimes, so I pray. I pray to them to stop it and he starts to feel better. He is not a cruel man, Lagertha. He just isn’t!“ Her hands were trembling as she clenched them into fists. Lagertha could only stare at her in shock. For how long was their relationship kept a secret from her? „How long did you feel like this about him?“ She grew angry for being held in the dark that long. „All of this started a little over six months ago…“ The girls head hung low as she fidgeted with her fingers.
Looking at her hand she noticed a little mark on her ring finger looking over at Ivar she saw the same small mark on the same finger. „You’re thinking about marriage…“ She gasped quietly taking a step back from her sister. „I accept your decision, but I do not support it. Though I will give you my blessing only because I haven’t seen you happy like this in ages. You are my little sister and I love you and I want you to be loved. As much as I don’t like Ivar, I have to say that he truly seems to love you and care for you.“ Smiling widely the girl hugged her sister tightly, throwing her arms around her. „Thank you!“ She repeated those words until she turned to Ivar grinning at him shyly.
Ivar walked over to her cupping her cheek before he kissed her forehead and leaned his against hers. „I told it would work out somehow, my love. May the gods forbid anything would part us until we both are on our way to dine with the gods in Valhalla.“
Lagertha couldn’t fight the smile as she watched the both of them. Even though she disliked Ivar, she was certain he would treat her right. Maybe even better than Ragnar treater her. She could tell in his smile, in his eyes, in every action towards her sister, that he adored her.
Could you make a one shot where your the ragnarsons little sister ( your 5 yrs old and ragnar and a witches daughter ) and they don't know you exist but you come with bjorn from a raid and you meet them andyou just capture everyones heart .
And you give hope to the people of kattegat because you are a powefull witch and they think you are a god
Maybe they find out your powers when you save someone from death with your powers?
Thank you!
Oh my god, I love that idea!!
Sorry that it took me sooo long to write this, but here it is now!! ^^ I kinda changed it a bit, hopefully you don't mind too much!! :)
The lost daughter
Brother!Ragnarssons x Sister!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, Sigurd being a dick, Angst?
Words: 2.414 (think this one's my longest story!!)
Emotions were all she ever knew. Bad ones, painful ones. She didn't understand why she felt them so intense, whenever something happened. People usually got hurt very badly if she got upset. A little girl that could kill people in the most torturous way possible, without even having to move a single finger or having the thought in mind.
The town she lived in always said that her "witch" of a mother was the reason behind this cursed child. They tried hurting her but she ran, she ran straight into a group of men. No not just men, women were there too. Women she couldn't help but stare at. None of the people in her town looked like them.
Her town was called Wessex, rumors were that in the earlier years, vikings have already been there, even had a deal with the great king Ecgberht. But that was years ago, way before the little girl was even born.
The man in front of the group smirked slightly before he leaned down to her height. "Now who might you be? You wouldn't know where a witch named Meredith lives, would you?" The man studied her features, each one identical to her mothers, except the ocean blue eyes. A feature left from her father.
Taking a step back she tripped over her own leg only to be caught by the man in front of her. He wore his hair in a braid and his beard was longer than she ever saw anyone wear. His eyes didn't hold any danger in them, maybe curiosity, but nothing she had to be scared of. Calming her nerves slightly she stood up straight again.
"witch?" She tilted her head confused, not understanding what that word really meant, only hearing it when someone insulted her mother. Her eyebrows furrowed in anger. "My momma was no witch! She was a healer and helped lots of people!" Pushing away from him, she heard something snap behind the man.
A man holding his arm, which was twisted in a weird angle. The man was screaming in pain as his legs twisted as well, painfully bringing him to his death. It took the little girl some time to snap out of her emotions and look over to the man, only to gasp at the state of the man.
Covering her eyes quickly with her hands she turned away, a quiet sob escaping her. The other men gasped in fear, she had to be blessed by the gods they thought. "By the gods it is true!" The man with the braid laughed and pulled her into his chest. "You are coming home with us, little one. Bet you want to meet your family!" Peeking through her fingers she nervously chewed her lip. She wasn't sure if she could trust him, but her momma once told her a story about a man she could always trust if he ever came to her. A man named Ragnar Lothbrok.
The man, who was carrying her, didn't look exactly how her mother explained, but his icy blue eyes reminded her of him. "Are you Ragnar Lothbrok?" Her voice came out in a whisper as she held onto him. A laugh rumbled in his chest as he put her down on the boat. "I am his son, Björn Ironside. My father and I were often here in Wessex, he met a woman, a healer he used to tease by calling her a witch, they shared a bed and later on rumors spread, that she was with his child. You. I am your brother, we're going to Kattegat, our fathers home. Our home."
Confusion settled in the little girls chest, she didn't fully believe him, but somehow she thought she could trust him. The hope of having a family battling the fear of getting killed or worse.
They traveled for months on no end, the little witch started to enjoy the sea. She learned many things thanks to her brother. The gods became her favorite topic, next to her having four more brothers back at home. Giggling she ran over to Björn. "Brother! When will we arrive?" Excitement settled in her bones as she held onto his hand, looking up to him with wide eyes. Björn couldn't help but smile slightly at how excited she was. "We will arrive soon, look."
When she looked into the distant she saw land becoming bigger, they were close, just about to reach it. She was nervous, he had warned her about how different each brother is, but she was excited. Excited to see a family she longed for. Excited for a land that would also belong to her in some way.
As they arrived she was nervous, people looked at her weirdly, making her scared that she might hurt someone. Björn was walking in the front with her, three men waiting for them in a big hall. The girl had already heard a lot about them and could easily tell who each one of them was. But one wasn't here, she was disappointed.
The men looked at Björn confused. "Welcome home, brother. I see you did not return alone, who is that child?" Ubbe smiled slightly walking up to them. "She's our sister. Father laid with a woman from Wessex, she was a healer I got to know her a bit." The little girl started fidgeting with her hands, trying to release some of her stress. Ubbes eyes found hers, she could only see kindness in them.
A chuckle came from where the other two stood, the blonde man laughing at how ridicules this sounded. "Be serious, brother. You couldn't possibly believe something that stupid." Sigurd was being gruesome, looking at the child in disgust at how her clothes looked. She was no child of Ragnar for him. she didn't look like one either. Sneering he gave her one last glare as he walked away.
Biting her lip she looked to the ground, counting the seconds and minutes so she could calm down. A sigh came from the other three men. Hvitserk slowly made his way towards her kneeling down so he was her height. A smile forming on his face as he studied her eyes, the blue reminding him of his little brother. Even the white in her eyes was a little blue.
„Looks like Ironsides is telling the truth.“. A grin spread on Hvitserk face as he stood up straight. Soon there was a clicking sound to be heard. Ivar came into the great hall, wondering what all the noise is about, having only heard parts of it. „Gods would you just keep it down, Hvitserk.“
Fear settled in her stomach, she was terrified of meeting Ivar ever since Björn told her all the stories about him. When her eyes finally met his she couldn't help but flinch. His eyes matched hers the most. They were almost identical and a giddy smile formed on her face, before she could stop herself. With him it was the clearest that he was her brother. "I heard Sigurd whine about our brother having found some bastard child from father, that couldn't seriously be his..."
Ivar leaned down towards the little girl, tilting his head slightly, inspecting her, before grinning like a lunatic. "But as I see she looks more like a child of Ragnar than he does." Hvitserk laughed and Ubbe couldn't help but grin a little at Ivars statement. All of them were nervous for his reaction, since he was the hardest to please, but somehow her eyes made him realize it the quickest.
The little girl couldn't believe how easy they all accepted her and included her in everything. Everyone except Sigurd. He spread the rumors of her having some powers, but instead of making the people be disgusted of her they started admiring her, bringing her brothers gifts for her. Every person in Kattegat thought she was a god. How couldn't she be? A child of the great Ragnar Lothbrok, it was about time one of them had to become a god.
Even her brothers sometimes believed it, but they also soon learned that her power held a lot of danger. Ivar was the first to notice that her eyes, like his, told in what situation her powers would be. If they were blue in the whites, then it was dangerous for her to interact with a lot of people meaning, keeping her with Ubbe and Hvits would be the wisest decision. Of course they trusted Ivar with her, but most of the times Ivar himself was somewhat worried about upsetting her too much.
On her good days she would walk with her crippled brother through the market, helping him get things and later on hearing about all the adventures he went on. She wouldn't tell but she did like him the best, since he understood her the most. Ubbe was a close second. Björn left for another raid soon after he brought her to the others, which sandend her the most was that he didn't even say goodbye.
She loved her brothers very much, even Sigurd. Ivar was very protective of her when it came to him. He was never allowed too close to her or to be alone with her. It was rare that Ivar cared that much, but he knew how cruel Sigurd could be if he wanted to, and he didn't want her to go through the same things he himself went through.
During a feast late at night she sat with her brothers, giggling and laughing as Hvitserk told her the funniest stories and Torvi braiding her hair, she felt whole. Ivar was sitting in the throne looking over the people, seeing how they looked at his sister in fear, he liked that they feared her even if they thought she was a god, but he also knew how it upset her that they avoided her at all costs when she was close.
Sigurd hated everything about her actually being treated like all of his brothers, like an actual child of Ragnar even though Ragnar himself never even knew her. On this particular night he drank one too many cups of ale and his company wouldn't stop talking about how great her powers are and how she was the hope for the people in Kattegat. The hate he felt for Ivar was nothing compared to the hate he felt for her. It made him see red, he got up and walked straight up to her as she was wandering around the hall, looking at different things.
Ivar was watching her carefully, making sure nothing could happen. Sigurd grabbed her arm forcefully making her stop and turn towards him, a gasps escaped her. Looking up to him she gave him an excited smile. "Brother! Are you enjoying the feast? Ubbe said I may not try the ale yet because-" But he interrupted her by grabbing her face hard and squishing her cheeks together. "I am not your brother! Neither are they!" He pointed to were Ubbe and Hvitserk were laughing together. "Just because Ragnar laid with some bitch in Wessex doesn't make you anything to us! Oh and Ivar? He's playing his own games, he only keeps you around so that you can help him archive the power he wants!" A smirk was on Sigurds face as he watched how tears streamed down her cheeks and how her lip quivered.
Sadly for him he did not notice the blue of her eyes and how she was further away from the others, to calm her powers. One might think that the ax hitting him in the back was her, but people tend to forget how hotheaded Ivar the boneless was, now that he seemed calm compared to his sister. Ivar couldn't help it and threw the ax, hearing his brothers harsh and hurtful words, making him not realize what he was doing as his hand found the weapon.
Ivar didn't mean to kill his brother, panic spread in his chest as he quickly limped over to the two of them. The little girls eyes were wide and still filled with unshed tears as she did her best to keep Sigurd upright. Of course she was upset with him, but he was still her beloved brother, even if he didn't see himself that way.
The hall quieted down quickly. Hvitserk and Ubbe were quick to join their siblings helping the girl to carefully lay down their brother. Both shot daggers with their eyes at Ivar, who was slightly trembling, scared to have actually killed him. Ubbe tried to pull her away from Sigurd, not wanting her to see so much blood at such a young age, not caring about viking tradition at this point. This was her brother dying, she shouldn't see him like that.
But she had other plans. As if it was instinct, she pulled away from Ubbes hold and pulled the ax out of Sigurds abdomen. Her hands covering in blood as she pressed them onto the open wound applying as much pressure as she can before closing her eyes, saying a quiet prayer to the gods. Repeating the prayer over and over again in barely a whisper her eyes shot open, the blue now seeming like it glowed, making the men around her flinch slightly.
They all saw the wound healing. It healed quickly, way quicker than anything else and her eyes soon stopped glowing as the wound was completely gone and Sigurs eyes snapped open. The little girls eyes closed slowly as she released him from her grip and dropped exhausted to the ground, making Hvitserk quickly catched her head, before it hit the floor, picking her fully up. All of them were silent for a moment as they listened to Sigurds heavy breathing.
None of them could believe how blessed they were, having a sister as strong as her. It didn't matter to them if she was a god or a simple witch blessed by them. All that mattered to them was that she was safe and taken care of. She was so young with such great power. A power she needed help with, a power that they all had to tame with her. But it was alright, if that's what it takes for her to feel loved and needed.
The Ragnarssons could not hide the fact that their sister was the reason they all connected fully again. She truly was a blessing from the all father.
When that smile hit her, everything stopped. She allowed the hope, that still sat silently in her heart, to spread, to take the form of a light. A light so bright, that it almost felt warm, almost like the sun and the stars itself. Relief.
Relief, because she finally thought that someone might love her. That someone might actually give her the warmth she was seeking. The warmth that would change her and make her happy, oh so happy.
But with the feeling of hope and relief there’s this other one, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue. Fear. What if this isn’t it? What if this isn’t Love? What if this is just something everyone gets? Something that is not of such big importance that it would change her mind, make her happy?
And when the smile turned away, her hope and relief faded. It faded so quick she couldn’t even reach to hold it, to make it her own. It faded, making her cold, the light leaving her as quickly. Fear staying in it‘s place, mocking her almost. Making her feel as if she was deserving of this, as if everything that was happening, her heart shattering, was her own fault.
Maybe it was, who knew? Maybe this is what she deserved for wanting a love so overwhelming and exciting, that it made her feel like she was the person someone cherished, the person someone chose. This is where she belonged. Alone. Unloved.
A comfortable silence surrounded them as they watched the fire burn. Her fingers softly combing through his dark hair, making his eyes closed in satisfaction. Chuckling softly she watched him, watching how his lashes barely brushed his cheeks, how his mouth held the smallest smile, barely visible but still there. A low disproving hum escaped him as she stopped brushing through his, letting her hand just rest on top of his hair, feeling for any remaining braids she couldn't see in the light.
Opening one eye, he shot her a glare making her try to hide her giggle, placing one hand over his eyes, shushing him. Smiling softly he leaned back into her, letting her continue her work. Humming a soft tune she concentrated back on his hair, making sure it wasn't knotted anymore, before rinsing it with water again, watching the last of blood wash out of it. Biting her lip in worry of it being his own, she again thread her fingers through his hair, carefully feeling for any sign of a wound.
Softly taking her hand that was covering his eyes he brought it down to his mouth, kissing her palm lovingly, calming her nerves slightly making her sigh in relief. She was used to treating his wounds, but the ones on his head still worried her the most, not knowing what it could cause to the parts she didn't see. Still placing soft, featherly kisses on her palm and each of her finger tips, the young man couldn't help but keep his eyes closed, leaning into her touch, letting her take care of him.
They both barely said a word when he came back, just needing to feel each other close. Needing to be in the safe haven they created with one another. Tugging on his hair, she grinned down at him with a glimmer of mischievous in her eyes as his own fluttered open to find hers, his heart melting at the sight in front of him. His lover looking down at him with the most truest admiration, her lips pulled into a grin as she tugged on his hair to get his attention, not wanting to break the oh so comforting silence.
Raising an eyebrow he felt his own lips pull into a small smile. Leaning down she placed a soft kiss onto his cheek, leaving a trail of kisses in their as she made her way to his lips. Leaving tingles in their wakening, making the young king shiver slightly under her touch. As her lips finally reached his, he couldn't contain himself as he cupped the back of her neck, pulling he closer, deepening the kiss. Soft gasps slipped out of her mouth making him catch them with the kiss, smirking softly.
With heaving chests, Ivar let his hand slip onto her cheek, caressing the skin softly, making her smile tenderly at him. Her eyes held love. The love he never thought he'd receive. The love he knew was shining even brighter in his own eyes when he looked at her.
"I was so scared, Ivar." Her hand softly playing with his hair, not having the strength to find his eyes anymore. Showing weakness was something so fragile, they both still weren't sure wether it was alright for them to be so open about their fears. Ivars eyes softened as he heaved himself into the position opposite her, taking her hands. "Whatever for?" Worry settled on his features as her eyes welled with tears. Shaking her head she realized how hideous her fear was. He was Ivar the boneless, nothing could or would be able to hurt him. He was protected by the gods.
But as the months went on her fear started to settle in, more reason flooded her mind. What if the gods suddenly stopped protecting him, making him vincible, easier to hurt. More months passed and the fear was causing her many sleepless nights, making her visit the seer almost daily, slowly starting to obsess over her husbands wellbeing. Ivar was fragile, he wouldn't admit it but he was and she knew it. The whites in his eyes turning blue, his bones breaking, being her biggest fear.
A small tear slipped down her as she turned her head away from him. "You need someone strong, I shouldn't worry." Chuckling softly he pulled her onto his lap, being careful enough not to put too much weight on his legs. “What I need is for my wife to worry about me when I’m gone for battle.” His fingers now drawing small shapes softly on the outside of her thighs. A small smile now finds its way onto her face as she nuzzled her head into his neck, inhaling his scent, calming herself.
Smiling to himself Ivar began running his hair through her tangled hair, an evidence that she, again, was spending more time taking care of him and his needs than tending to her own. Placing a featherly kiss onto the top of her hair, he hushed her quietly, stopping her thoughts from torturing her.
