Unearthing & Rebuilding

28 | Complex trauma survivor and hopefully soon to be thriver.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[elksewer]

[starcat-society]

Man fuck this disability why is it fucking disabling

[tamamita]

[romanceyourdemons]

most basic treatments for sickness involve some form of salt water (drinking electrolytes, gargling with warm salt water, epsom salt baths) as a way of microdosing going to the seaside

[unearthingandrebuilding]

A really fun in between stage of healing is gaining the ability to detect BS, decide that some patterns with people are too unhealthy and cut stuff off sooner…

Like I love that for me isn’t lonely at all :) but it sure beats how things were before.

It was delusional before, or ignorance, or ignoring the truth, or a mix of those, whatever.

I keep cutting people off but like… a lot of people are actually weird man, and have been weird towards me imo.

I used to blame my attachment issues and stuff so much, self gaslighting, but nah.

My standards have changed, my respect for what I need has changed, my tolerance to being more “on my own” has changed, etc. Idk.

Some people have really sucked.

I regret cutting off maybe 1 person or so. I dunno, I’m trying to figure things out.

Some of the people weren’t so creepy to me but more like - I felt they were just damaged or hurting too, and so therefore it was triggering to me in some way or another. Tbh though, I don’t know. I doubt myself a little bit still - but what was the alternative? I’ve actually done a fair amount of processing and healing from this to be honest, from the space from toxic dynamics - and that’s been good.

I think sometimes yeah, maybe it’s attachment related. Maybe it’s me being scared to feel vulnerable - because sometimes someone starts to feel like jumping off a cliff. I can’t work those situations out just yet.

But the others - respectfully they either had narcissistic personality disorder traits (I mean no direct offence with this, it’s just not something I can healthily be around especially with my own attachment patterns etc man idk. I have my own issues and am in no place to judge - I won’t post here the mental health shit I displayed last year but I really don’t mean it disrespectfully either, anyways…), OR they showed signs to me that they were controlling / abusive / power game playing or downright creepy tbh.

I feel a bit bad for distancing and cutting off from people who I’ve genuinely felt something for or liked etc. Not my first rodeo at doing that. Like I’m sorry, but also I couldn’t handle it. And I didn’t know if you were triggering my attachment shit in some toxic way or playing me, or if it was my stuff - or both. Whatever.

I think it’s me though, regardless of them. I don’t think I can really handle anything where I develop romantic feelings or expectations right now. Maybe I never could. Maybe I should take my time on that stuff, I don’t know. But it makes me unwell and I can’t handle it.

Anyway this song is pretty cool:

Love 💓

[mortalityplays]

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

[unearthingandrebuilding]

My life is getting better. 🩷🧡

[christmas-winter]

[christmas-winter]

[christmas-winter]

[thewitcheslace]

[christmas-winter]

[cozycottagelife]

Via 📸: beautifulslowlife

[lotuspositivity]

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

[traumasurvivors]

You deserve credit for surviving.

You deserve credit for trying.

You deserve credit for getting through the days.

You don’t need to be thriving, making strides and noticeable progress to deserve credit. While those things are wonderful and deserving of credit, you deserve credit now too.

Try and give yourself the credit you deserve.

[stuckinapril]

So crazy how you have the worst day of your life but then the next day the sun keeps shining and the air’s just a little cooler w the onset of fall and you realize that there’s nothing you can’t come back from because the only time it will ever be too late is when we’re dead and not ever before

[solreefs]

local thing discovers that it does in fact feel better when it engages with activities that bring it joy instead of rotting in bed, more at 11