Beautiful
He calls me beautiful and I blush. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. This turmoil of emotions that swirl inside: embarrassing self-consciousness, greedy self-belief and nascent hope open me up; I feel exposed and so vulnerable.
He calls me beautiful and I cringe inside. Could it be true or is it just something he says to make me feel better? Does he actually believe that or does he have second hand intentions in mind? How can I not be suspicious when this refutes all I’ve heard before from my mother, my classmates and other people I know? I mean I know I was fat before but I am fat now or at least I feel so. How can a fat girl be beautiful?
He calls me beautiful and I am left tongue-tied. I didn’t grow up hearing that so I am left clueless of what to do, what to say. Thank you seems so bland a thing in exchange for the gift of hearing those words from your lips so I keep silent. I hope you know I am not ungrateful; I just don’t feel big enough to fit into such a big word…. beautiful.
e.v.e.
