𝐀𝐌 𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓?

𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓. 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐱.

[unhewley]

#UNHEWLEY — an independent and selective portrayal of angeal hewley from (compilation of) final fantasy vii. heavily headcanon-influenced. written by fox [they / he, 25].

a study in: the pedestal crumbling under your weight, the bravest coward you've ever met, suicide by cop, clicker training, the straw feather that broke the camel's back, gentleness despite unspeakable violence, micromanagement as a love language, moral revolving doors, capitalising on your own saviour complex, homesickness for a place you can never return (and the person you'll never be again).

promo credit. | carrd template by rcsea

[givres]

#givres — selective, independent multimuse. primarily portrayals of animanga characters + some miscellaneous. 18+. low activity. i just like to make stuff up (headcanon - based). orchestrated by fox (25, they / he, gmt).

a study in : male anger, what comes to those who wait, lab rats & wire mothers, unwavering devotion, begging for scraps and freedom.

[prettythought]

kiss roulette

inspired by the infamous "i want the k" meme by deactivated tumblr user tastcful. send 🎲 to generate a kiss! potential suggestive/nsf.w themes may appear

A kiss on the cheek

A kiss on the nose

A kiss on the forehead

A kiss to the top of the head

A firm kiss

A gentle peck

A romantic kiss

A platonic kiss

A kiss to the eyelid

A kiss along the jawline

A kiss to the neck

A kiss along the collar bone

A kiss on the chest

A kiss to the stomach

A kiss along the hips

A kiss in the rain

An upside-down "Spider-Man" kiss

A kiss while laughing

A kiss underwater

A rough kiss

WILDCARD! Dealer's choice :)

A french kiss/kiss with tongue

A kiss influenced by alcohol/other substances

A sleepy kiss

A kiss that's an accident

A kiss while one or both parties are crying

A kiss in greeting

A kiss in parting

A kiss to the back of the hand

A kiss to the palm of the hand

A kiss to the inner thigh

A kiss while someone watches

A kiss to a scar, birthmark, injury, or other marking

A kiss after a bite

A kiss against a wall

A kiss to the shoulder

A kiss to the back of the neck

A kiss while one party is carried

A tentative kiss

An impulsive kiss

A kiss out of spite

A clumsy kiss

A bloody kiss

[zachrp]

ᝰ🚬 𝚉𝙰𝙲𝙷𝚁𝙿 .ᐟ SYMBOL HEADCANON QUESTIONS. CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS IF NECESSARY. SOME MATURE THEMES MAY BE PRESENT.

EVERYDAY LIFE / DOMESTIC

📋 : how organized is your muse?

✅ : what do they pretend to have together that they don't?

🕰️ : what time do they naturally wake up when no one needs them?

☕ : what's their morning ritual, and what happens when it's disrupted?

🧺 : how often do they do laundry?

🪞 : do they look at themselves in mirrors, or avoid them? why?

🍽️ : do they eat to survive, for pleasure, or as comfort?

🏠 : what part of their living space reflects them the most?

🌱 : do they keep plants, and are those plants alive?

🧼 : what's something they're weirdly particular about being clean?

📺 : what do they put on when they don't want to think?

SOCIALIZATION / CONNECTION

🗣️ : are they better one-on-one, or in groups?

📱 : do they text back immediately, or let messages rot?

🫥 : how often do they pretend to be fine to keep the peace?

🎭 : how different are they with strangers versus people they trust?

🤝 : do they make friends easily, or accidentally?

🧠 : what do they assume people think about them?

🌘 : how hard is it to really know them?

🎉 : do they enjoy social events, or endure them?

🪑 : are they the type to leave early without saying goodbye?

INTROSPECT / INTERNAL LANDSCAPE

🕵️‍♀️ : how often does your muse think about death?

🧩 : what part of themselves do they not understand yet?

🫀 : what emotion scares them the most?

👣 : do they believe they deserve good things?

🧱 : what walls are they aware of building? which ones are they not aware of?

🕳️ : what do they spiral about at night?

📉 : what's their most common self-criticism?

💀 : do they trust their own memories?

🌊 : what emotion do they drown in when they're alone?

PERSONAL / DEEP / TRAUMA-ADJACENT

🩸 : what wound shaped them the most, even if they won't admit it?

🔥 : what moment do they replay when they're ashamed?

🧷 : who failed them first?

🕯️ : what do they grieve that no one else sees as a loss?

🪤 : what pattern do they keep falling back into?

🧨 : what pushes them past the point of restraint?

🧬 : what did they inherit emotionally from their caregivers?

🕶 : what lie do they tell themselves to survive?

🩹 : what actually helps them heal, even if it's unhealthy?

HABITS / VICES / COPING

🚬 : what vice do they justify the most?

🍺 : do they drink to socialize, numb, or celebrate?

💊 : what's their relationship with substances, past or present?

🏃 : do they move their body to feel alive or to punish it?

🛏️ : how do they sleep when things are bad?

🎧 : what kind of music gets them through the worst days?

🖊️ : do they write things down or let thoughts rot in their head?

☔️ : do they intellectualize pain instead of feeling it?

🕳️ : what habit would unravel them if taken away?

SEXUALITY / INTIMACY

🫠 : is it easy for them to get turned on, or do they need emotional safety first?

💞 : do they separate sex and feelings, or blur them dangerously?

🛑 : what's an immediate turn-off for them?

🔥 : do they crave intensity or stability?

🤲 : do they like being in control, or giving it up?

🪶 : are they gentle with people they desire?

🍒 : how do they feel about their own body during intimacy?

🎱 : what do they need to feel wanted?

🔒 : do they guard intimacy, or give it too freely?

💔 : have they ever used sex to avoid something?

MORALITY / CHOICES

⚖️ : what line will they never cross?

🩶 : what line have they already crossed and justified? or regret?

🧭 : do they believe they're a good person?

🔪 : what would they do if survival demanded cruelty?

🪙 : what do they value more, loyalty or truth?

🚪 : who would they abandon if forced to choose?

🕊️ : do they believe in forgiveness? for themselves? in others?

🧨 : what would make them snap permanently?

📜 : what promise do they regret making?

🪦 : what hill would they die on?

[unhewley]

hi if you saw that post no you didn't! i must have accidentally scheduled it instead of saving to my drafts :(

[ahsteria]

me and my massive throbbing enormous dripping guilt complex

[nananarina]

I was waming up and my hand slipped.

Aka I am again in my seasonal crush for Angeal phase

[serapime]

@rhapsodosage @unhewley

[unhewley]

@rhapsodosage & @unhewley swap bodies // lights, camera, action! (accepting)

airless. flesh and skin squeeze around him like a vice. organs shifting, bones creaking under the crushing pressure. something fluttering and battering about his chest, crashing against his ribs, threatening to erupt. his instincts torn between gasping for breath and keeping his mouth clamped shut, afraid his entire being might spill from his lips. angeal is about to burst, he's sure of it.

it's as though his soul is too big for his body.

several minutes pass, and by some miracle, angeal's body chooses not to explode into shards of bone and viscera. the panic beginning to subside -- though the claustrophobia remains, the pressure letting up only slightly -- and he forces himself to sit up, his body leaving the mattress with unnatural force. as far as wake-up calls go, this morning ranks pretty low: somewhere between enemy forces storming his tent, and genesis launching herself at his stomach like a cannonball (a fairly common occurrence growing up in banora - as a child, gen's enthusiasm often got the better of her, far too excited to begin whatever adventure he had planned for the pair to wait for angeal to wake up on his own.)

something - be it the silk sheets under his hands, the lack of uniform folded at the end of the bed, or the carefully curated pictures on the wall opposite - gives angeal pause. he's pretty sure he went to sleep in his own bed last night. so what is he doing in genesis' quarters?

come to think of it, where's genesis? on the rare occasion gen woke before him, she took it as a victory, and made it his mission to rub it in angeal's face. her competitive spirit is something to be admired, and it would never allow him to just let angeal sleep. he listens for the gentle rush of the shower, the boiling of a kettle; any sign of life within the apartment's confines. nothing. straining his ears slightly, he listens for a heartbeat, a breathing pattern, anything his mako-enhanced hearing can offer up.

the only sound in the whole room - no, the whole building - are angeal's quickening breaths.

" gen... ? " he calls, fruitlessly - unless genesis has cast silence on herself again, trying to frighten him, he knows he's alone. he must be.

in the end, it's the voice that gives it away. far too light on his lips, scratchy in his throat - certainly not his usual warm timbre. as uncomfortable as it feels, it's oddly familiar, comforting. like a language learned in childhood; not quite foreign, but just out of reach. breathy and light, but with a distinct rumble, not unlike genesis', when he'd try to impersonate him. . .

angeal's knees buckle under him. it wasn't just like it. that was gen's voice - it had just come from somewhere deep in her chest, where angeal was trained to speak.

is this even possible? is he losing his mind? making his way to the ornate mirror in the corner of room - one of genesis' many antique finds - he notes the lightness of his body. is his own really this heavy? on the other side of the glass, a pair of familiar, green - flecked eyes meet his. the same pointed face he's studied for years stares back at him. and angeal -- or is it genesis? -- begins to laugh.

absurdity of his predicament aside, there's something oddly reassuring about it. the body he inhabits might not be his own -- but it's certainly no stranger. he knows this form intimately, from the freckled shoulders, to the carefully manicured nails, to the elegant curve of the neck. if angeal can't be 'at home', so to speak, this has got to be the next best option. genesis has always been a second home to him anyway - though this might be taking the sentiment a bit too far.

a shiver runs through him - through genesis - and angeal is suddenly aware of his own nakedness, which only makes him laugh more. of course. genesis never cared for pyjamas. he'd chastised her for it more than once. (what if someone storms the shinra building in the night? as usual, genesis dismissed his concerns. then i will fight in the nude.)

tugging on genesis' uniform - finding it left haphazardly in a pile next to her bed, though her jacket hung neatly on the door - he makes for the door. if he'd woken up in genesis' bed, then she must be in his quarters. he can only pray that she hasn't left yet. gen is much quicker than him, and his body clock runs much earlier than hers - she'd likely woken up hours ago, and figured it out much faster. he didn't put it past his best friend to go out and make the most of this opportunity. that is to say, to try and humiliate him. still, he can't carry this body with the grace genesis commands it with - that it deserves - his movements clumsy and unpracticed, like a child only just starting to walk.

luckily, his apartment is just across the hall, and the first's floor is always eerily quiet. thank the gods. any longer a journey, and his posture might get people accusing the lieutenant of drinking on the job.

angeal knocks, impatiently, on his own door, silently wishing he'd fought harder for genesis to be allowed a spare keycard, back when he'd first been assigned these quarters. he could be so spineless sometimes.

[unhewley]

suddenly hit with the realisation that, in the process of adding small details to my portrayal of angeal — specifically his physical appearance — i've accidentally managed to imply his own degradation. just subtle hints; the extremely premature whitening of his hair, the return of scar tissue after the mako treatments wiped all imperfections from his body. none of this was intentional - the greying from stress, the fresh scarring meant to signify just how powerful genesis is with materia. as i've said before on this blog (i think), i do not believe angeal was degrading at all.

angeal's jenova cells are fairly stable, in my mind, on account of them being passed down from his mother (rather than given to him directly or mapped onto him like genesis). but i'm kind of obsessed with the ambiguity this creates because angeal doesn't know that. these “symptoms” mean nothing to him at their onset, but when he watches degradation begin to claim genesis. . . well, then he begins to panic. is it going to take him, too? has it already begun?

[bitesizedpoetry]

From "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath", dated October 1, 1957

[xanaxfarts]

The Lockheed AC-130 in action

Due to the cloud of smoke left behind after flares are released, this aircraft is widely known as “The Angel of Death”

[unhewley]

which subtle way of saying “i love you.” are you?

doing things for them without being asked to. — you're observant and you know your loved ones so well, you know when to do things for them without having to ask (or be asked) what they need. they don't always know how much you do for them; there's no need pointing it out, you're just happy to help. you do things simply to make others feel better and lighten their burdens, and expect nothing in return: their happiness is enough for you, even if they don't always know you're the one who caused it. still, as good as it might feel to give and give and keep on giving, please allow them to do things for you in return. people feel better when they're being helpful (you should know this, more than anyone) and no matter how hard it might feel for you to accept help from someone, you should take it when they readily give it to you. you deserve to be loved in the way you love them, too. you won't be a burden --and remember: a real friend will love you even when you're not constantly being useful, because your company is more than enough.

tagged by : @serapime :3 tagging : any of you. boy take my uquiz

[unhewley]

angeal's head was beginning to spin. his own doing, really — it was he who had assigned the second so many laps, and he supposed it wasn't a task that needed close monitoring. it wasn't really needed at all. just a last - ditch attempt to burn off some of the boy's restless energy. in all honesty, he had no idea what he was doing. sure, he'd been known to offer new recruits some friendly advice, given a few demonstrations on swordsmanship . . . but to take a student under his wing was a massive undertaking. angeal suddenly felt the weight of this boy's life (and career) on his shoulders — but what bothered him more was that he was completely winging it. outside of his code of honour, the first wasn't sure what exactly he could teach zack that he couldn't learn in standard training, just like he had. but oh, how the puppy had begged, and he'd always had a soft spot for dogs.

the PHS buzzing in his pocket was a welcome distraction. zack still had about thirty laps to go, if he was counting correctly. he had time.

↳ (1) new message from : @rhapsodosage. [ TXT ] : what are you doing that's more important than me?

[ GEN ] : obedience training. [ GEN ] : stop by if you like. you could probably use the exercise.

angeal snickered, imagining gen's face as he read that message. he'd pay for it later, probably, with some scathing remark, or the cold shoulder. still, genesis dished it out enough to take it. it wasn't as though he was calling her unfit — his companion just took a rather lax approach to his training. that is, unless sephiroth appeared to compete against. [ GEN ] : wait, more important than you, or more important than doing you? [ GEN ] : you know our texts are monitored, right?

he dragged his hands down his face. the text probably hadn't meant anything off - colour. angeal had just spent too much time around genesis and her double entendres. gaia, he needed to get better friends. or at least more professional ones.

[ GEN ] : puppy's almost tired himself out. i'll be home around 1800. try not to get in trouble until then :)

[unhewley]

FUCK i forgot to change one of my answers on that dash game. man. i fixed it now but that is so embarrassing.

[unhewley]

15 associations. repost and fill in the answers you most associate your character with to each question.

1 ... animal : livestock guardian dogs (karakachan, anatolian shepherd), badgers.

2 ...color(s) : a navy so dark it's nearly indistinguishable from black.

3 ... month : may, november.

4 ... song : pleasure of the feast - anthony green.

5 ... number : 11.

6 ...day or night : day - specifically the crack of dawn.

7 ... plant : common house plants; monstera, spider plants, peace lilies. leafy, green and purely decorative. alternatively, and perhaps more fitting for his practical nature, ramps.

8 ... smell : garlic, pine, iron (blood or metal?).

9 ... stone : tiger's eye, pumice for some reason (not the type of stone i imagine this post was referring to but i'll speak my truth. stone with a job.)

10 ... season : autumn/fall.

11 ... place : a neglected hiking trail, leading deep into overgrown forest, a training room floor empty save only for you.

12 ... food : simple meals - stews, soups, pies. fresh baked bread. anything involving apples, though it never tastes the same in midgar.

13 ... astrological sign : taurus.

14 ... elements(s) : earth.

15 ... drink : plain water, black coffee, apple cider.

tagged by : @martyrdove + @serapime tagging : i don't think there's anyone left to tag. @rhapsodosage you still haven't done one for gen yet!

[unhewley]

i NEED to get back on here i miss angeal so bad. he's literally all i think about. replies/starters after work tonight maybe? if not. . . definitely by the weekend.

i haven't been neglecting him completely. small angeal crumbs utc. i've been thinking a lot about angel's vampire!gen and where my boy fits in there. (BLOOD TW)

save me priestgeal. i have many sins to confess. apparently i forgot to sketch his beard. damn i messed up we gotta go bald.

[unhewley]

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING. . . sorry i'm so excited my interpretation of angeal has been correct. meddling bastard :3