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@unicornchipsticks
my attention span as a 10 year old: *reads the Lord of the Rings trilogy in like two sittings*
my attention span now: *checks internet every 10 minutes during important task, opens new tab of same site I’m already browsing and got tired of*
Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.
REBLOG EVERY TIME I SEE THIS
Me, looking back at how many books i used to read: I love that bitch, she was going places.
i miss the 90s i was barely conscious and had no responsibilities
Me: *cleans makeup brushes* at last, here I am. Finally pulling my life together.
you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you
The Duolingo owl wrote this post
writing advice: never italicize words to show emphasis! if you’re writing well then the reader will know and you don’t need them!
me: oh really??? listen up, pal, you can just try an pull italics from my cold, dead fingers
I feel this on a spiritual level.
“population growth” is just a formal mathematical way of saying “how fast can people fuck?”
You’re missing an important part of this, here.
“Population growth” is just a formal mathematical way of saying “How fast can people fuck and also die?”
actually its more like “how much faster are people fucking than they are dying?”
fuck to death ratio
exactly
im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper
i posted this yesterday then today this cute boy held my hand and now he is sending me memes
Reblog for love
i reblogged this yesterday and my crush kissed me today
I’ve been dating my boy for 2 years and today he sneezed directly on my face and got a booger on me :’) Love is just so beautiful
hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!
i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me
kinda want a relationship, kinda never wanna get close to another person again
why is this goat so pretty?? it’s like a fairy? what kind of goat is this???
It’s called a Gulabi, and if you want to see something even better, the adults look like this.
Guillermo del Toro designed this goat
me @ myself: wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward bud
throwback to four years ago today when the world was supposed to and should have ended
The endangered Ili pika hadn’t been seen since 1983, that is, until it was spotted again in China, in 2014.
According Li Weidong, a man that has volunteered his own time and money to search for the elusive mammal on the Tianshan mountains, there maybe only 1000 of them left.
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