queen of unresolved metaphors + broken dreams

h.rae | requests open | linktree

[universalmemoir]

silence was all it took to find out who truly loved me.

(maybe what you thought was their love was just an echo of your own heartbeat) | h.rae

[universalmemoir]

mourning the weeds

It’s fine. It’s for the best.

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, it’s fine. It wasn’t safe to let those weeds grow.

“But they were so pretty, all wild and free.”

Yeah, they were. But they were suffocating the flowers behind them.

“Flowers? What flowers? All I see is a dying plant.”

It grew flowers once. Back when the weeds weren’t so tall. They were pretty together.

“So why get rid of the weeds then?”

They were fine when they were small. But once they got big, they became an issue.

“Thorny ones, huh?”

Yeah, it didn’t matter when the thorns were so low down. But once they were tall, they cut me whenever I went to pick the flowers.

“What makes you think that bush will bloom again?”

I think it will. One day. But I don’t know. I might have let the weeds cover it for too long. It wasn’t getting any sunlight.

“But the weeds will grow back. You’ll have to keep cutting them over and over.”

I know.

“It would be easier just to let the weeds grow back. Prettier too. It’s kinda ugly as it is right now.”

…

But then I wouldn’t be giving the flowers a chance to bloom.

“Your loss then.”

Yeah.

My loss.

[universalmemoir]

everything rearranged itself within my heart to fit you inside, small as a mustard seed.

then! oh, how you grew and filled me to the brim — i thought my heart didn’t have space for you, yet somehow you nestled into it like a perfect puzzle piece, just like you were once nestled in my womb.

i’ve lived and i’ve loved, but i’ve never felt a love like this, roaring like an ocean yet soft as the breeze, pulling me homewards even when i set my sails to new seas, everlasting, ever growing, delicate love.

you are my every eyelash wish and my first thought every morning,

and when you were born, so was i.

m o t h e r | h.rae

[teaspirationss]

loving you is effortless

It's the way you understand my heart without ever hearing it beat i don't care how many pieces, I'm just in love with the puzzle.

[universalmemoir]

D A U G H T E R. | h.rae

[universalmemoir]

Catalyst

I’m no longer writing the One Word project but here is a poem that relates to your word

[hraewordsmith]

teeny tiny life update. love to you all.

[universalmemoir]

when midnight approaches, the stories behind my eyelids tell me of hope and memories, love and anticipation, and, both best and worst of all, you. | h.rae

[universalmemoir]

i’ve always interpreted your love as pure nostalgia. a beckoning from a past presence that wrapped around my heart and never released me from its grasp. but the more i think of you, the more that memory weakens its grip, and maybe one day love will float to the surface of my scars, a beating heart with new life, ready to write your name in the dust where you once ruled.

i never thought i’d say this but i miss you | h.rae

[hopefulromantical]

do you ever look up at the stars

and wonder where your line leads

is it right next to you

or halfway ‘cross the galaxy

will the constellation show tonight

or will it be tomorrow

or is it ever going to make sense

if i close my eyes i can almost hear

the song that that the stars are singing

i can feel it in my heart

the rhythm matching my pulse

do you feel it too?

it’s tugging at my thoughts

but always staying just out of sight

[universalmemoir]

i see stars when i shut my eyes

and i always wonder if they belong to you.

[universalmemoir]

once upon a time i was all i needed, my reflection was the kindest face i’d ever met and creating candlelight was my first step towards becoming the sun. but as quickly as a thunderstorm’s first breath, i was thrust into a world of criticism without warning, where nothing i could do was enough and all i could do was too much. i saw the world through their eyes, no longer my own, and i obsessed over what i thought they thought of me.

and yet this poem is written in past tense.

there is a world where my reflection and i can hold hands again, where the faults that make me human are the sweetest parts of myself, and the passion that pushes me forward is no longer something to suppress or be ashamed of. the mind that created me spins the gears that propel me towards a beautiful destiny, one not dictated by the whimsy of jealousy, one where i am everything i have ever needed. tomorrow i will learn to embrace myself as the wind does - gently, wholly, perfectly.

being hated taught me how to love myself | h.rae

[hraewordsmith]

it's ok to not carry the same smile everyday. it's ok not being in sync with your thoughts everyday. it's ok to be a work in progress all the time. it's ok to begin your story from the beginning today.

from the instant i stepped foot onto this shaky ground i knew i’d never be alone again. i had the sun, i had the rain, and i had you.

[universalmemoir]

one day you’ll learn how to breathe again

until then i’ll never let your lungs go empty

[universalmemoir]

this is what i mean when i say i love you:

1. if i was a planet i’d revolve around you and fight against gravity to circle closer to your heartbeat.

2. if i was a shadow i’d attach myself to your feet and always stand beside you.

3. if i was a sunflower i’d follow you through the sky and only sleep whenever you’re out of sight.

4. if i was a pen i’d run out of ink telling your story.

5. if i was a candle i’d burn to bring you calm and feel satisfied when my life came to a close.

6. if i was a writer i’d find better words than just “i love you,”

7. but i guess i’m not a writer, because no amount of words could ever describe the ache in my chest to be yours for eternity,

8. and maybe even a day after that.

[universalmemoir]

the hardest part of focusing on yourself is missing out on the gratification that helping others gives. and once you stop focusing on others, the people who only loved you for what you did for them slowly fade out of the daylight. my hands are lighter now, and my heart is less broken, but where are the aching hearts that pushed me forward, that bloomed from the tears i cried? i miss when the world felt full and, although i was empty, i gave myself away…but now i feel full, and the world feels empty.

seeking purpose | h.rae

[universalmemoir]

i lost my words but i kept my tongue a world on fire but i feel numb miami sunsets and rainy nights our tv shows and christmas lights i used my words to build our home

our first dance in my parents living room i traded 2ams just to share a bed with you it’s getting cold, please hold me close tonight like it’s the last day of our lives

put pencils down to face what’s real i’ve lost control of what i feel i couldn’t bear to watch you leave thinking you can’t trust in me you took my words and helped me heal

our first kiss in a corner restaurant booth it took so long but i’d saved it all for you it’s getting cold, i’ll hold you close tonight like it’s the last day of our lives

enough about me, enough about me i’ve started writing songs about you enough about him, enough about her i’ve started writing songs for you

my first love you are more than enough it’s getting cold, let’s make our home like it’s the last day of our lives

h.rae

[universalmemoir]

i shared the song that reminds me of you and you laughed. 

laughed at my pain. 

laughed at my heartbreak. 

as much as you’ve hurt me, as greatly as you’ve let me down, i’d never laugh at your pain. 

i thought after all this time i’d mean more to you than laughter. 

h.rae