Dear 18 year old me.
If I could go back 10 years there is so much I would say...
January 2010.
You are 18 years old and half-way through your freshman year of college at CCU. Basketball feels like your world, because it is most of the time. What you don’t know is that after this year you are going to give it up - it will be the hardest decision you have made at this point, but it is the right one and even when it doesn’t feel like it things will be okay. That decision is one that will actually change the trajectory of these next 10 years drastically.
You will get basketball back in a sweet and unexpected way when you coach high school girls next year - this happens because you are a Young Life leader. As it turns out, Young Life is more than a fake youth group for bad kids, and in just 6 ½ years you will find yourself passionately working full time for this beautiful organization. Basketball is still your first love and you get tastes of it now and then - watching your high school girls play, coaching middle school boys, and the rare occasion you play on your own.
Because you aren’t playing basketball next year you will find an entire new group of friends (hint: it’s a bunch of girls that don’t like and are scared of you right now…). Those friends will be the real ones, the ones who stick, the ones you will live with, travel the world, learn from, the ones that become more like family than friends. Embrace those friendships, let your walls down, stop judging people and don’t be so mean in intramurals! Those friends will teach you about community- how to find it, build it, sustain it and those lessons will carry you for years to come.
Also because there is no basketball you will spend a semester studying abroad in Mukono, Uganda. Those 4 months will wreck you in so many ways, but the journey won’t end after that. That will be just the start of a long lasting love for Uganda and the people you build relationships with. You will dedicate lots of time, money, energy & love into that place and those relationships. You will learn how much you have been trying to keep God in your safe, comfortable, privileged box and for the next 9 years we will spend time re-learning and re-building who God really is.
A handful of boys will come and go these next 10 years, but none of them stick around too long. Take chances, let yourself be vulnerable, but trust who you are. You are going to learn SO much about yourself these next 10 years - like your deep love for traveling, the fact that you are capable of running 13 miles at one time, your voice matters, onions aren’t as bad as you thought, you really like being on stage in front of people, concerts are one of your favorite hobbies, you’re passionate about empowering marginalized people, being an aunt is your favorite role, you are more capable than you usually believe, and so much more. You probably didn’t think you would still be single when you are 28, but you are! And you love it!! You’ve built an amazing community of people who make this season of life your favorite one yet. Don’t let the world make you think you’re behind schedule, because you are building and living the life you always dreamed of.
You’re 18 and you think you have life figured out, but I promise you don’t. Stop sleeping in your classes - they matter more than you think (and aren’t cheap!). Keep saying yes to all of the adventures, and invite people along with you. Don’t worry so much about what you are supposed to do with your life...you have no clue, and that’s okay. You will change your mind a lot over the next few years and end up doing work that you never imagined and it will be so life giving. Be kind to your body - exercise outside of sports exists and is great and doesn’t have to be punishment. Travel every chance you can get - you will head to 15+ different countries in the next 10 years and every single one shapes the woman you are. Your parents are way cooler than you realized, take all the time you can get with them. You are more than just an athlete - this one takes time for you to learn, but when you do it will be sweet. Your worth & value has nothing to do with how many three pointers you make in a game or your season record and everything to do with who God says you are. You are awesome and the more you realize that the more you freedom you live in!
Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous. Be yourself, kid.












